Early 30's TTC #1

[piccolo]

I'm on cd 4 of cycle #6 now. I have to say everyone complains about the 2ww but I think it's the 2 weeks before you ovulate that are the worst. At least in the 2ww you have some hope that you could be pregnant, but right now I know for sure I'm not. I'm on this horrible emotional roller coaster every month and right now I'm just slowly starting to creep back up from the bottom.
I see you are in Canada too - can I ask where? I'm curious because I'm wondering if I should try and do what you did and book an early appointment at a fertility clinic and I'm wondering if a six month wait to get in to see someone is typical here in Vancouver too.
Let me know how the appointment goes today. I know someone who works in a fertility clinic and she sees couples get past obstacles like yours all the time, so I know it will happen for you.

 

[piccolo]

hopefulmama, sorry I was writing to arianne when your post came through so I didn't mean to ignore yours! So sorry to hear about your mc. I like your picture a lot - it perks me up to look at it, so keep holding on to that hope yourself! Maybe your body just needs another month to recover to be the perfect home for that little bean. I keep trying to think of my period not as "the witch" but as my body's natural way of getting rid of the old in preparation for the new. Sometimes that works, sometimes not, ha.
It will happen. Hugs.

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Thanks piccolo. You're right that's a good way to look at AF's arrival. For me I'm just so worried about another mc I constantly pray for a healthy baby next time so I'm just trying to tell myself that it just wasn't meant to be this month because I'm waiting for that healthy one. I'm willing to wait to not have to go through that again, but it's still frustrating. Also, I have a uterine abnormality that they discovered on my last D and C (I had 2) so I'm just so worried that the egg will implant on the abnormality and I'll miscarry again. If it implants on the sides of my uterus I should be good to go! Maybe next month! Good luck to you too. Also, the first 2 weeks aren't so bad because you get to be "productive!"

 

[MsJMouse]

Sorry to hear about those results Arianne but as the others have said at least you know and can now take positive steps to get your BFP.

My DH would definately agree with your take on the first two weeks hopefulmama

Bit down today as yesterday I found out one of the other staff is 9 wks pregnant at work and she wasn't even trying. I am really happy for her as she never thought she would get the chance to have a baby after her marriage ended (she is in her 40s - so there is definately hope for us all). But today I am 11dpo and got a BFN, was kinda hoping some of her luck might have rubbed off on me . AF due on Thursday.

 

[arianne]

OMG piccolo! I am in vancouver too!! haha that is so funny!

I am going to the fertility centre at the bc womens... You can request an appt...but if they know that you have been trying for less that a year, you will wait FOREVER to get an appt ..so maybe if you go, you should say you have been trying for a bit longer than you are... it's sad, I know, but here it is the only way they will listen to you and give you a reasonable timeframe for your appts...
Read this post I wrote a couple of weeks ago about this: https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-buddies/453917-early-30s-ttc-1-a.html#post7644533

 

[arianne]

thank you girls for all your sympathy!

I went to see my doctor today, I couldn't wait to talk to her... I was surprised by what she said... all my results are excellent!! and my husbands not bad (which is not as good as my results, but at least, as she said "it is not bad"!!! so with these results, she said that pregnancy should occur, and that maybe there is something else that it is preventing it to happen, so the implantation process...Ok so in fertility they work in 3 levels:
1) the eggs (ovarian reserve, ovulation, etc)
2) the sperms
3) where they meet (if 1 and 2 are ok, to check why the embryo is not implanting)

she now wants to check #3... which is an xray in my tubes to make sure they are open and how well is the linning and all that for proper implantation... I didn't want to do that because it seems more invasive... so I may wait a little longer to get that done... even though, I heard it's not a big deal, and that you actually have more chances to get pregnant after this, because they flush the tubes...

So she doesn't seem concern with my husbands #... she said that the most important number is the motility count... which is obtained by multipliying the count x volume x motility%... his count alone is 17 (normal should be above 20) but his volume is normal and his motility is 70% which all together makes it above the 20 million required for pregnancy... she said that if this # is less that 20, then it is a severe male factor and the chances of becoming pregnant naturally is very low... she didn't seem to care about morphology, she says that there is a lot of debate about a "normal" sperm... and that those numbers are not the ones I should care about, but about the motility count... so anyway I felt better after talking to her... she did suggest for my DH some multivitamins... take note ladies! vitamin C, E, zinc, selenium, folate, carnitine and carotenoids... I will look for a multivitamin that contains all these...

Hope you all are doing good!!

Good night!!

 

[piccolo]

Wahoo! That is wonderful news Arianne!
And thanks for the tips about getting in to a specialist. I may have to get better at lying...

 

[Soleil Breeze]

but I already read them, and I dont need someone to explain to me what that means... I already know there is a problem!! (my husband keeps telling me "let's wait to see waht the doctor says, dont worry baby" ahh I am so mad at him right now..but I know is not his fault )

All right, this is my first time trying this quote thing...let's see if it works. Arianne, I know what you're going through and I wish there were something I could say to make it all right. All I can share with you is that I went through the same thing a few months back. My hubby has a great count (and count by the way is not all that important), but pretty low motility (39%) and quite bad morphology (4%). The last two results are not good. I was waaay upset on the inside. At least I thought I was holding it in, but then I realized that I was showing how frustrated I was with him to him. Not good. Because, like you wisely noted, it is NOT his fault. My poor sweet baby has now taken to free-balling it to work! No underwear! You've gotta love them for trying. I think sometimes we forget how rough this whole experience can be on them, too.

One thing you should keep in mind is when they do the sperm analysis, they are using waaaay high standards to determine morphology. I'd venture that some of the guys who have impregnated their partners could probably have a semen analysis right now that shows them having terrible morphology, low motility, etc. - and yet they still managed!

I'm with you, though, sister...it's an incredibly frustrating experience. But don't think that this means that you can't/won't have children. Although it might mean that you need to save a while to go through fertility treatment (Hence why we're holding off on art. insem. for a bit [if we even go there]).

On a Thanksgiving note - so thankful that I have you girls to share this journey with! I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!

 

[Soleil Breeze]

So I just finished reading Arianne's most recent post - should read through everything before I reply, eh?

But "SEE"! His stats aren't so bad. And FABULOUS news about your results.

The HSG test sucks; I mean BLECK. And we didn't get pregnant afterwards. But, hey, here's to hoping!

Speaking of hoping, I'm not sure if I can remember hopefulmama2b's whole posting...but just wanted to say that my sister-in-law miscarried at 6 weeks in February of this year, and she is now four months pregnant! It WILL happen (and on your good side, too!).

I can't remember who wrote about the office worker who is pregnant - but it reminded me of my friend who is due in April - her first cycle trying and she got pregnant! I was ecstatic for her, while I proceeded to scream on the inside (know how that goes?)

The way I look at it is the more people around me who have babies, the more I'll learn, and the better prepared I'll be when I get pregnant!

 

[piccolo]

You're right Soleil - my husband hasn't had any tests done but I think it is easy for any of us to get so caught up in our own stuff that we are neglecting our men's feelings. My husband and I had a big blow out on the weekend, and I realized that even though I thought things were okay with us he was feeling neglected. He felt that I was not myself anymore and he didn't know how to be around me or how to make me feel better, and he worried that he was already losing his wife and we aren't even pregnant yet, so what will it be like when a baby finally does come? I can't hide my feelings, nor would he want me to, but I realized that I have to be more conscious of nurturing the relationship through all this. I thought that he was fine and it was just me hurting, but I was wrong. Things are good now that we had a good talk and tear fest.

 

[Caroline:-)]

Geees, I've not been on here for a few days and omg, look at all the posts!!!!
I'm afraid I'm going to have to pretty much read and run again today though... I've got soooo much to do the next few days as we've got friends from Dublin coming to stay this weekend... So loads to do sorting the house, etc... after 2 years we're finally just coming to the end of working on out house (extension, windows, doors, kitchen, bathroom suites decorating and flooring throughout, etc - well, everything really!!!) so we've got loads of tidying and cleaning to do before they get here!

BUT, so glad to see you're back Arianne!!!! Sorry the results were not what you wanted... but, I've just read your last post... so that's good that things are not as bad as you thought they might be... try and stay positive hun, I'm sure it'll all work out ok in the end...

I have read through all the other posts quickly, but now I'm typing I've forgotten everything I wanted to say to everyone!!! lol... sorry guys!!!!

MsJMouse - I know exactly how you feel - my manager has just announced she's expecting (she's 41) and I'm soooo jealous!!!! But at the same time of course I'm really happy for her... She's got a 3 year old now and she had to go through a number of rounds of IVF to conceive him... so anyway, she got pregnant by accident this time - as they assumed there was no chance of conceiving!!!! That certainly gives us all hope too hey?!

So anyway, I'm 10 dpo today... AF would be due Saturday... no real symptoms yet, but at the same time no af type cramps or anything so fingers crossed!!!! I wasn't going to test this month, but I might test Friday before we pick up our friends from the airport so I know whether I can have a drink with them that evening!!!! Although even if it's neg I won't know for sure!!!
Aaaaaanyway, good luck to everyone... not sure if I'll manage to get on here again until Monday but I will try!!!! I reeeeeaaaalllly hope the next time I speak to you guys I have a bfp (and I hope you all do too!!!!!)

 

[hopefulmama2b]

Arianne: That's a great update! If the doctor didn't seem too concerned I don't think you should be either. Good luck to you!!

Soleil: Thanks for the story about your friend's pregnancy after a loss. Ahhh....I just love those stories! And how funny about your hubby going comando!! What a great job of taking one for the team! My husband is so weird about shorts and underwear I doubt he'd ever do that. He has to have on his "sleeping shorts" before he can fall asleep. Argh...drives me crazy!

Caroline: Good luck this weekend!! I hope you get your

 

[MsJMouse]

Thanks Caroline. FX'd for this weekend - hope you get your .

Arianne: That sounds positive from what your doc says. My mum is a naturopath and she has recommended my DH take similar vitamins. So far I have only managed to get him to take the zinc and that was a bit of an effort. I gotta get my act together and find a multivitamin with all of them in it as he won't take separate pills . Whereas I am happy to take all the things my mum has suggested and have been on them since coming off the pill in Feb. Hopefully your DH is more willing take them than mine.

Soleil - sorry to hear about your test results. I don't know whether my hubby would be keen to freeball to work. I have to admit I was surprised when I have mentioned things about TTC, how much research my hubby has done so he actually knows what I am talking about most of the time. As you say, you gotta love them for trying.

Well I am 12dpo and AF is due tomorrow. Have sore BB's this month, they have been sensitive since ovulation (which is odd - normally only like that for a couple of days around O). So far BFN. But holding out hope that it might just be too early to test. I guess I will find out tomorrow.

On a completely different note (being an Aussie and not having Thanksgiving in this country) - is Thanksgiving this weekend?? Does that mean you get a long weekend (days off work)?? That would be nice - we haven't had any public holidays in Queensland since August and a long weekend sounds devine. Thankfully only a few weeks to Christmas and thus HOLIDAYS!!!

Have a great weekend. and to everyone. It is great being able to hear your stories and know I am not the only one who is finding this way harder than I thought it would be.

 

[arianne]

Girls!! I need to run for my classes, but I just wanted to say: Thank you so much for your kind words!! it is so nice to come to this site and find all of you and that we all share a similar experience... and we all have the same wish a BFP!!!!!!!

Good luck girls....

 

[finallyready]

Hello Ladies...I'm new to this site and have been visiting all the different forums. What a great site this is! I am 29 and my DH is 30. I was on the pill for 12 yrs and came off of it in July. However I didn't get a period! Naturally I thought I was one of the lucky ones would get a BFP right away, however I kept getting BFN! Sooo frustrating. I went to the dr in Oct to see why I wasn't OV and he just looked at me smiling and said there is nothing he can do for 1yr! Sooo frustrating...I ended up getting a flu shot so the appt wasn't a complete waste of time. Now reading these posts, I feel I should have lied haha.

Anyways....on Nov 6 I started 'spotting' and it did not stop for 7 days! So I am very hopeful that this was AF! (It got heavier through the week). Before I went on BC I was very regular and my DR told me not to go off the pill until I was ready to conceive! (Thats the biggest lie ever!) I wish I would have known how long it would take my body to start O again! According to a 28 day cycle I should get AF on Dec 5! So I am hoping and praying that it does come so at least I'll know I'm Ovulating.

On the same token I hope I dont' get it b/c that means that maybe, just maybe me and my DH BD'd at the right time this month...It would amazing if we would all get BFPs as Christmas Presents! (Really this is all I want).

I have been with my DH for 10yrs (married for 3) and did everything right, waited until our careers were in order, built our dream home, are in a good place financially and now when were finally ready...NOTHING

It is soo frustrating because I am the only one of my friends who has not had baby yet, including my much younger newest sister-in law.

OMG I have written an essay! Sorry for the rambling...it just feels so good to get this all out having been carrying it for so long and not wanting to talk to my friends as I dont' want them to know my struggles since none of them had any issues.

Good luck to all and I look forward to this journey! (I am also from Canada!)

 

[piccolo]

welcome finallyready! At least you can be pretty confident that your body is still just readjusting after coming after off bc. I'm sure things will get back to normal soon. Good luck!

 

[finallyready]

Thanks so much piccolo! It is nice to be in a group with ppl more my age...I find so many ppl on this site are in their early-mid 20's! They have all the time in the world...where us...not so much

I also find most people on this site are TTC #2 or #3 and I feel for them, but at least they know that they are ABLE to conceive and carry to term. I think it is more frustrating when you are TTC #1.

Also it is nice and theraputic to talk about this stuff in a non threatening and non judgemental environment.

I won't feel better until Dec 5 when AF arrives for a second time. Truth be told it was the strangest period I have ever had...lots of dark blood (which I know means 'old blood') so I'm hoping it wasn't just a fluke in that my body was getting rid of it since I hadn't had a period for so long. Time shall tell. My dr said to go back to him if I don't get AF within 6months and he'll go from there.

PICCOLO have you gotten any more tests back?

 

[piccolo]

I haven't heard anything on my tests which I guess means the numbers were okay - she said she'd only call if there was a problem. Next time I see her I want to ask what the exact numbers are, but I think I'll wait until after Christmas. Then maybe we can proceed with other tests too. I know I should feel lucky that so far nothing seems to be wrong, but it's so frustrating wondering why it hasn't happened yet and feeling like I don't know anything. Maybe that's why I spend so much time on here - I keep trying to match the little things that my body does to signs and symptoms of other things in an attempt to figure out something of what my body is doing. TTC has turned me into a hypochondriac!
I hope you get your period back this month. That sounds really weird on this site. Better yet, I hope you get that little bean!

 

[finallyready]

No news is good news for sure! and 6 months isn't really that long...I know they say that if you stress too much that can for sure affect things. (But how can we not stress). It is a vicious cycle. I'm trying my best not to worry about things I can't control. I can control BD'ing at the right time of month and being in tune with my body to know when I'm OV (or hopefully OVing in my case lol). But other than that, after BDing once OV has occured and until AF arrives there is nothing you can do, it is out of your control. So there is no point worrying about it that point.

But this is all easier said then done! And I understand completely. I have been online literally every day searching for symptoms as to what is up with me and other people that have been in a similar situation.

I have to run, hubby is begging me for the laptop to check his football pool! take care!

 

[arianne]

welcome finallyready!! Dont worry about your cycle... it is readjusting after a long time you have been on the pill.... just be very healthy