Entering the world of Assisted Conception...like it or not...
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. My heart breaks for you.Thanks everyone. Always fun to cry oneself to sleep yet again.
But of course my hubby was supportive and tried to put it into realistic terms, "Well sometimes you get 3 aces and still don't win the poker game." Haha. But he's right I guess.
I just have this sneaky feeling that for some reason my eggs won't fertilize. Like after all this time, and all these eggs, why aren't the sperm making it in? Or if they do, there must be something wrong with the eggs so they won't sustain them. Or something wrong with my blood or uterus that won't let pregnancy happen. The nurse even said "oh but you had so many follicles! I don't understand why it didn't work this time!" I just don't think it's ever going to happen for me. And that IVF is probably in our future. I feel like that will be our only hope. I don't have any proof of this, it's just how I feel. Only 2 months in and I feel like it's been an eternity.
But of course my hubby was supportive and tried to put it into realistic terms, "Well sometimes you get 3 aces and still don't win the poker game." Haha. But he's right I guess.I just have this sneaky feeling that for some reason my eggs won't fertilize. Like after all this time, and all these eggs, why aren't the sperm making it in? Or if they do, there must be something wrong with the eggs so they won't sustain them. Or something wrong with my blood or uterus that won't let pregnancy happen. The nurse even said "oh but you had so many follicles! I don't understand why it didn't work this time!" I just don't think it's ever going to happen for me. And that IVF is probably in our future. I feel like that will be our only hope. I don't have any proof of this, it's just how I feel. Only 2 months in and I feel like it's been an eternity.
robinsonmom
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Congrats Smile, wow that's some awesome news on your bfp!! You give me lots of hope. been super busy (which I found I like to be during TTC) started an @home business and the hrs are kind and the dedication is in full affect. just finished my last dose of clomid, going to start temping Saturday (day 8) until I get a spike and 3 days of high temp. Miranda congrats as well, Hiker your not alone hang in there. if clomid doesn't work after 3 cycles my ob will start me on shots . excited Iam moving in this direction. this is my 3rd year.
Robinson,
3 years, really?? Oh my goodness you must be ready to burst!! You sound really positive though, so I really hope this works for you. I like staying busy too and having things to look forward to, even if it's my next appointment or acupuncture or round of injectables, because it's like little checkpoints along the way to my goal. If there was just a big question mark or nothing to try between now and when/if I get pregnant, I'd lose my mind. Personally and professionally I am staying busy, but I somehow need to balance out the stress that comes with that. I can't imagine all the stress is very conducive to TTC.
AF still in full force today. My periods have been really short the past year or so, which actually may have been a warning sign come to think of it...but the acupuncturist said acu can help with regulating periods. If this one lasts longer, I'll know it was for sure from the acupuncture! (Unless you get heavier periods after injectables? I didn't notice any difference in flow after my Femara month...)
3 years, really?? Oh my goodness you must be ready to burst!! You sound really positive though, so I really hope this works for you. I like staying busy too and having things to look forward to, even if it's my next appointment or acupuncture or round of injectables, because it's like little checkpoints along the way to my goal. If there was just a big question mark or nothing to try between now and when/if I get pregnant, I'd lose my mind. Personally and professionally I am staying busy, but I somehow need to balance out the stress that comes with that. I can't imagine all the stress is very conducive to TTC.
AF still in full force today. My periods have been really short the past year or so, which actually may have been a warning sign come to think of it...but the acupuncturist said acu can help with regulating periods. If this one lasts longer, I'll know it was for sure from the acupuncture! (Unless you get heavier periods after injectables? I didn't notice any difference in flow after my Femara month...)
robinsonmom
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yep 3 years! my dd is 8 years old!! crying and feeling heart broken has gotten easier sad to say. I'll have a brief moment and back to reality 
so far I've witnessed 13 pregnacies of friends and family
so far I've witnessed 13 pregnacies of friends and familyrobinsonmom
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How's everyone doing? The hot flashes with clomid are the pits!
Smille24
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I remember those. I had to open the windows while it was snowing out just to get some relief.
robinsonmom
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Yes it shifts so fast and happens unexpected. I took clomid at night didn't seem to affect hot flashes from happening during the day. That method didn't really work, I haven them still at night during the day even in my sleep it wakes me up then within a couple mins I am freezing.
miranda007
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Ohh Robinsonmom wow 3 years. That's tough. We were 2 years and yeah I agree with what you said you get used to the tears every month. I used to say ok I'm giving you one day for a pity party for yourself and then you need to move onto the next cycle. Ok sometimes it was more than a day.
Whoah seeing 13 pregnancies around you - ok that's more than me! And I thought I'd seen a lot. Did your dr's say you had unexplained fertility with your second? Sooooo many people have trouble the second time.
Hiker - I agree you have to have something to keep busy and look forward to. Sometimes it was even a new Walking Dead episode lol. You guys will get there, you know that right?! You just don't know when. I know exactly what you're feeling because I was there.
As for me, I've been lucky and haven't got too much MS. I have to eat something every 2 hours like fruit. I can't sit down to my salad as my stomach churns at the thought of it. But I haven't thrown up at all - just lost my hunger. We heard the heart beat last week so I'm at 9 weeks. I'm happy it worked but not overly celebrating - maybe I'm just protecting myself in case things go wrong. I swear I've got some post traumatic stress disorder from all we went through! Lol.
Whoah seeing 13 pregnancies around you - ok that's more than me! And I thought I'd seen a lot. Did your dr's say you had unexplained fertility with your second? Sooooo many people have trouble the second time.
Hiker - I agree you have to have something to keep busy and look forward to. Sometimes it was even a new Walking Dead episode lol. You guys will get there, you know that right?! You just don't know when. I know exactly what you're feeling because I was there.
As for me, I've been lucky and haven't got too much MS. I have to eat something every 2 hours like fruit. I can't sit down to my salad as my stomach churns at the thought of it. But I haven't thrown up at all - just lost my hunger. We heard the heart beat last week so I'm at 9 weeks. I'm happy it worked but not overly celebrating - maybe I'm just protecting myself in case things go wrong. I swear I've got some post traumatic stress disorder from all we went through! Lol.
Smille24
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Miranda- I'm the same way. After 2.5yrs of let downs, it's hard to be think positive. I'm getting better as more time passes. Once a heartbeat it established, the chances of something happening is small. I just keep telling myself that God will not give me more than I can handle and move on from those insecure feelings.
Hiker- how are you doing hun?
Hiker- how are you doing hun?
This is an interesting thread! I'm also in the beginning stages of fertility treatments after not conceiving for a year. After numerous tests it turns out that I'm perfectly fine (amh on the lower normal side) but dh has white blood cells in his SA which is causing the issue. Since he has kidney problems, I doubt that he can fix this issue and so we have to go straight to IVF. He has a urologist appointment soon (waiting for weeks to get a referral from gp!) to confirm no infection, then probably to IVF. We've had one failed IUI where they pumped me full of hormones and then couldn't carry out the IUI due to white blood cells so that was annoying. I'm thinking about changing my doctor because I feel like he wasted many months and recommended the wrong things to do and doesn't really care.
Anyway for me this month has been hard because I had a really good response to Clomid, 4 follies, and I feel like they've been wasted And for some reason I was still hoping that I might get pregnant because so many eggs! But AF came 2 days early. I'm pretty nervous about IVF, so many hormones and so expensive, and what if it doesn't work? Scary and upsetting but hopefully worth it in the end.
It's interesting to read everyone's experiences, definitely helps feel less lonely
Anyway for me this month has been hard because I had a really good response to Clomid, 4 follies, and I feel like they've been wasted
And for some reason I was still hoping that I might get pregnant because so many eggs! But AF came 2 days early. I'm pretty nervous about IVF, so many hormones and so expensive, and what if it doesn't work? Scary and upsetting but hopefully worth it in the end.It's interesting to read everyone's experiences, definitely helps feel less lonely
Hi everyone! Sorry I've been MIA. So we are back to injectables. Second cycle of this and 3rd cycle with assisted conception. I guess my doctor is not afraid of the multiple follicles, especially since not one took after last month's potential FIVE, since he's got me on the same dosage again. I went in for my Day 3 u/s on Friday, which showed 2 collapsed follicles and one big cyst still remaining. They took blood and warned me I might have to take a rest cycle (God, a month off would be an eternity!), but thankfully I was allowed to move ahead. So I'm still on 150cc injections. Went in today for day 7 u/s and the tech said she sees FIVE on one side and at least 2 on the other side with the cyst. Just waiting to hear from them what dosage to continue with. So I assume if all continues going well, we'd proceed with an IUI at the end of this week or beginning of next.
PS - re: hot flashes on Clomid - I was on Femara only one month but definitely experienced hot/cold flashes on the first day. It was crazy!!
PS - re: hot flashes on Clomid - I was on Femara only one month but definitely experienced hot/cold flashes on the first day. It was crazy!!
lemon_tree
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Thinking of you, Hiker! Good luck!
miranda007
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Hiker - we're with you all the way!!! I'm thinking of you!
Smile - thanks for your wise words. I do have to remember that.. God wouldn't give me more that I can't handle. Each week gets a little easier. It will be good when we hit that 12 week mark. And finding out the sex. I know we should keep it a surprise but I just really want to know!
Spyrals - I've been where you are and scared about IVF. To be honest I was really worried about how my body would react as you hear about all these crazy symptoms.. I didn't get any other than a bit of bloating. I drank lots of water and stayed calm and ate healthy food. The hardest thing, I found, was its a mental game.. You have to prepare yourself that it might not work and finding out how many embryos survived at day 5 was the longest wait. It will all be worth it. Change dr's (if you can) if you feel like he's not super invested in getting you pregnant. I was lucky I had complete faith in my fertility Dr. Actually it feels so good to have someone else do the worrying for u!! She said, you'll have the family that you want, you might just need a little help.
Smile - thanks for your wise words. I do have to remember that.. God wouldn't give me more that I can't handle. Each week gets a little easier. It will be good when we hit that 12 week mark. And finding out the sex. I know we should keep it a surprise but I just really want to know!
Spyrals - I've been where you are and scared about IVF. To be honest I was really worried about how my body would react as you hear about all these crazy symptoms.. I didn't get any other than a bit of bloating. I drank lots of water and stayed calm and ate healthy food. The hardest thing, I found, was its a mental game.. You have to prepare yourself that it might not work and finding out how many embryos survived at day 5 was the longest wait. It will all be worth it. Change dr's (if you can) if you feel like he's not super invested in getting you pregnant. I was lucky I had complete faith in my fertility Dr. Actually it feels so good to have someone else do the worrying for u!! She said, you'll have the family that you want, you might just need a little help.
I've also been trying for almost 3 years to conceive. To give you a little background, I'm 38 my husband is 42. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage(15, 11 and 9). Had a vasectomy when I met him and a reversal before we got married. Not sure if the vasectomy caused his low morphology, but that's what we've been dealing with. Feb 22 was my 5th IUI. We had agreed to do IVF that try but the nurse called the meds in wrong (100 mg of clomid for 5 days, plus the ovidrel trigger which was my IUI meds), instead of the injectables. Long story short, I just received my first ever positive blood test Monday. To say I'm terrified is an understatement! I know the statistics and to try for something for so long, and finally get the +, well every little twinge makes me nervous. The Friday after my IUI we actually met with the docs to go over IVF, and I was really upset seeing the needles and meds (like crying and couldn't talk). This was the only IUI I did nothing for (no pineapple core, not keeping feet warm, no listening to fertility podcasts, etc). I even did zumba. The only difference is we actually took 2 really long walks. That's it. I don't know what helped get me the BFP but I just wanted to share my story in the hopes it gives someone else the positive reinforcement to try again. I know what it's like to keep your expectations low in the hope you won't be disappointed. All my friends who did both told me jump to IVF, I'm wasting my time. I'm glad I didn't listen and gave it that one lastctry even though i felt defeated. Good luck ladies. I have my fingers crossed you all get your positives soon!!!
miranda007
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Mellie congrats!!!!! Ah I'm so glad it worked for u what a miracle! I've been in your same shoes there were a few tears when I saw the injections and things.. And the month before we started I was hoping we didn't have to do IVF. But we did and it worked and pregnant now too.
But I'm so happy you didn't have to go that way and good for you for sticking to your guns. 3 years is a loooonnnng time trying. That's really tough. For most people we do get there, at some point... It's just hard when you don't know when that will be! Congrats xx
But I'm so happy you didn't have to go that way and good for you for sticking to your guns. 3 years is a loooonnnng time trying. That's really tough. For most people we do get there, at some point... It's just hard when you don't know when that will be! Congrats xx
Hey you guys. Wanted to fill you in on some news...So today has been insane, and I never expected this.
Went in for my ultrasound and here I have 7 follicles that will likely mature. Doc says she's not comfortable with doing the IUI with that many. I have little reservations but also told her I have no hope it would work. Then it was like a lightbulb went off in her head. She was like "or...we could do ivf this cycle..." I'm like "what???" And she said that given the number of follicles, this is exactly what they hope for for an ivf cycle, and that since I've already paid for the meds up until now, we wouldn't have much more to pay. So she left us alone to discuss, and after some arguing between my hubby and I (me being like yes lets do this! He being like I don't want a test tube baby, etc.) We came to the realization we don't want to consider selective reduction, and the fact that I'm a perfect candidate at this time (otherwise we'll have to wait until at least may to have this chance again) we are going for it. Tonight I have to take a shot to delay ovulation, then tomorrow at 930pm take the ovidrel to stimulate. We had blood tests today. Then Monday we go in to do a bunch of paperwork, and Tuesday is the egg retrieval under anesthesia.
I can't believe this!!
Went in for my ultrasound and here I have 7 follicles that will likely mature. Doc says she's not comfortable with doing the IUI with that many. I have little reservations but also told her I have no hope it would work. Then it was like a lightbulb went off in her head. She was like "or...we could do ivf this cycle..." I'm like "what???" And she said that given the number of follicles, this is exactly what they hope for for an ivf cycle, and that since I've already paid for the meds up until now, we wouldn't have much more to pay. So she left us alone to discuss, and after some arguing between my hubby and I (me being like yes lets do this! He being like I don't want a test tube baby, etc.) We came to the realization we don't want to consider selective reduction, and the fact that I'm a perfect candidate at this time (otherwise we'll have to wait until at least may to have this chance again) we are going for it. Tonight I have to take a shot to delay ovulation, then tomorrow at 930pm take the ovidrel to stimulate. We had blood tests today. Then Monday we go in to do a bunch of paperwork, and Tuesday is the egg retrieval under anesthesia.
I can't believe this!!
Smille24
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Hiker- wow that's amazing and nervewracking all at the same time. It wont matter how you get pregnant in the end, as long as it happens. I hardly think about me getting pregnant in a dr office. 7 follicles is great and I really believe you're going to see your bfp soon. Once the eggs are retrieved, how soon after will the procedure be? Best of luck and i cannot wait for an update.
