Epidural- why are people so against it?

[CatherineK]

For me, labor/birth is the very last thing on the list of things that make me a mom. I have gone through labor both ways (with epi and without any medication) and each birth was special, in that I had a healthy baby. Every day as a mother since then has trumped both of my labor experiences. People should never feel pressured either way...or thought that if they do decided for an epi that they haven't done research or are taking the easy way out. Honestly, I've seen so many friends go into depression when their birth didn't turn out as they had planned, as they feel they had failed, even though they had a beautiful
Baby. It's horrible the pressure somw other mothers put on new ones- and the pressure we put on ourselves.

 

[LilMiss_91]

I'm against having an epidural, but for me, not other people. Other people can do what they like! But personally I want to avoid one at all costs if possible. Partly due to hating needles, and partly because I don't like the feeling of not being in control and I trust my body to know what to do and I don't want to have to be told when to push and things like that .

Just do what you want to do You might not need one, but it depends on your own pain threshold x

 

[Guppy051708]

WHat matters is that baby, not how he or she made their way out of your body.

I must be in the minority here, but i do believe the journey to becoming a mother is a life altering, ground breaking experience. Im not saying ppl should feel bad if they have an epi or a csection or anything like that, i think everyone copes differently and if thats what gets a mom through theres no shame in that! All women are super heros IMO, epi or not. But i still think the journey does matter. (epi or no epi, thats not my point here) Yes the ulimate goal is a healthy baby and mom, but i get tired of hearing that it doesn't matter how a baby comes into this world. The fact of the matter is, for the vast majority of women its either a truly empowering thing that completely changes their perspective and reverence for life and helps them tap into the start of their primal mothering skills OR it leads them feeling like a failure, insecure for not doing it a certain way, or just downright upset and terrified about the entire thing. So birth itself does matter. It doesn't mean you shouldnt have an epi if you want one. If you want it go for it doesn't make you less. it doesn't mean your birth cant be empowering. It doesn't mean it cant be a fabulous journey, it certainly can be! im not really talking about epi or no epi here, im just saying the journey is important and IMO just as important as a healthy baby. Now if it came down to picking a particular birth or picking a healthy baby/mother, anyone will choose the latter for obvious reasons, no doubt i would! but im just saying the experience does matter too. Its not any less of a matter than a healthy baby, is what im trying to say. Birth really does transform women into mothers. (again my point doesn't have to do with epis. You can have an awesome experience with an epi, a narcotics, a csection, etc.) Im just pointing out that the fact is that the experience will change the way a mother sees things, herself, he confidence, her insecurities, her child, her view on the world, etc. That birthing experience will either be the best thing that happened to her or the worst thing and you can bet your bottom she will be impacted by her birthing experience for the rest of her life). So it does matter (I stress, im not speaking in terms of epi or no epi, just that the experience is important too)

...A women should never ever judge her self worth or mothering abilities on how she gave birth, or if she gave birth at all...

...I think that society having the view that labour should be a certain way
contributes greatly to women feeling like failures after a not so glowing birth experience...

...I have had 4 vastly different labour experiences and I felt like I achieved something after every single one of them....

For me, labor/birth is the very last thing on the list of things that make me a mom. I have gone through labor both ways (with epi and without any medication) and each birth was special, in that I had a healthy baby. Every day as a mother since then has trumped both of my labor experiences. People should never feel pressured either way...or thought that if they do decided for an epi that they haven't done research or are taking the easy way out. Honestly, I've seen so many friends go into depression when their birth didn't turn out as they had planned, as they feel they had failed, even though they had a beautiful
Baby. It's horrible the pressure somw other mothers put on new ones- and the pressure we put on ourselves.

And thats exactly my point, why giving birth is an important experience. Bc moms leave feeling one way or another. I feel like may my point was a little confused here, but this is exactly what im talking about. That it does matter. Yes other things will triumph over the birth once becoming a mom, but the experience in and of itself does leave a mom either feeling very confident in herself or feeling like she failed. It is horrible. It's horrible the pressure that women put on women and what society labels ppl. And that is exactly my point. That birth experience does matter bc the mother will always view her experience in a certain way. Go into the birth stories. There are countless experiences listed there as "Excellent birth", "Traumatizing experience", Empowering labor, "Stressful delivery", etc. It is because every woman has an experience and it really does impact her. Is that the only way thing that affects mothering? Heck no! there are so many things that goes into that, but again my point was that the birth experience matters (and i reiterate im not speaking in terms of having an epi or not, sometimes that can be what makes a bad birth turn into a wonderful birth! my comment didnt have anything to do with the epi or not, but just in reference to a previous comment made that the ONLY thing that matters is a healthy baby, but giving birth is one of the biggest evnents in life that a mother will do. And yes experiences can top that, and it certainly isn't the only thing into mothering but at the end of the day she will either feel good about it. or she will feel horrible about it. And those feelings will always stick. They may be placed on the back burner, but they will always be there.

Im really sorry if i offended anyone here. I just feel like the point was being nit picked (probabably due to a poor use of words and communication on my part) and the ironic thing is that i think we all agree about mothers do leave their birth experienced changed I feel my point is simply misunderstood. At any rate, i dont want to beat a dead horse. If anyone cares to continue this conversation then by all means post another thread or PM me and I would be happy to further explain my position as well understand your perspective better. I dont want to derail this thread.

 

[MamaFlick]

It's totally up to you - you don't have to decide until that moment.

I'm choosing to hopefully have a natural birth.

My reasons for trying to have a natural birth are:
1) I hate needles
2) I don't like the idea of me or my baby being drugged
3) I want to be able to move around throughout my entire labor and after I have my baby
4) I don't want the risk of my back getting messed up by the needle
5) I don't want my labor slowed
6) I see it as a personal challenge

I have a pretty high pain tolerance and I don't think the lack of pain is worth all of the cons. However I reserve to change my mind during my labor! But I'm going into it with the mindset that I can do this without medication.

 

[readynwilling]

I've always thought I'd have an epidural! I thought why not- if I'd a headache od take a tablet so why not take the best pain relief available for the most painful experience in my life! Yet a lot of people don't want to have one. I know it can slow labour but to be honest I think I'd rather have longer labour than no pain relief and a short one!

I know there's also some risks- but they are minute- right?

So why is everyone so against it?? I don't get it!

I think some people miss that people aren't against Epi's for EVERYONE - just for themselves.

If you want and EPI - go for it! I am choosing not to, but i am not against them.

I remember being 7 or cm dilated with my first and thinking to myself "if i get an epi now, it wont slow down labour too much - im so far along" then immediately thinking "frig im already 7cm - i ONLY have 3 more to go - don't give in when you have come so far".

If you are interested in some of the natural birthing stuff watch "business of being born" with Ricki Lake.

GENERALLY getting a epi TO EARLY will slow the labour. It numbs all your muscles in the pelvis - including the ones working to dialate your cervix. So then they give you oxytocin (or pitocin - which is synthetic oxytocin) to speed it back up. SO yes you may have dilated quickly after your Epi, but could have been the oxy not the epi that caused the speediness. OR could have been you were relaxed so your labour sped up. Truth is EVEN in our own labours we don't know WHY our bodies did anything - we can theorize.. i know i have a few theorys on why i pushed for 2 hours, and im looking to rectify that for my 2nd labour.

I am personally TERRIFIED of surgery. Any surgery - not just c-sections. so i am trying to avoid epi's for the decreased risk of c-section. If i avoid epi might i end up emerg c-section, yep. if i have an epi, might i end up not needing any interventions, yep. But for me its the decreased RISK that SOMETHING might happen.

And thats just me - Im not worried about anyone else and their decisions.

i had an unmedicated birth, and had problems establishing BF'ing (but i was successful in the end). Things CAN happen whatever we decide. We have to know that we personally can live with whatever outcome we are given.

 

[DLA]

I LOVED LOVED LOVED my epi. Did most of labor without any pain meds and towards the end it was beyond awful. From the moment I got the epi, my birthing experience became tolerable and enjoyable, and I'm actually looking forward to it again!

Everyone woman and birth is different. I read a lot of women that want that natural home birth experience. That's not something I personally understand but I totally respect any woman who has a birthing preference. I spent a lot of time researching all my options and felt most comfortable in a hospital and decided to play it by ear in terms of the epi. Worked out beautifully!

 

[melfy77]

Slowering labours...not too sure about this one...I had to be induced because my water broke but had no contraction even 12 hours later. It took 8 hours to get from 1cm to 4 cm, and when I got the epidural, I went from 4 to 10 cm in 2 hours!! I could move, stand up, sleep (yes, I was tired), and I only pushed for 30 minutes. No side-effects for me I tried to stay natural as long as I could, but between the oxytocin I was given at high doses and my 100% back labor, the pain was just too much, and it wasn't getting us anywhere.

I had the same experience! Went from a painfully slow progressing labor to a much faster progression once I got my epi. The nurse told me it can be shown to slow labor if you get it too early, but past 4-5 cm it actually helps. For me it allowed me to finally relax and let my body do its job.

-side note: I did have HORRENDOUS back labor, and don't feel like I missed out whatsoever on the 'pain of childbirth'. My DD was born with cuts on the back of her head because she was pressing so hard against my tail bone.

Ouch!! That's serious back labor!! I also was able to relax after getting the epi. I slept a little, played cards with my husband. The epi even helped him; I was in pain, and there was nothing he could really do about it and he just felt so helpless! So the labor got easier for him as well We're ready to TTC again, and I'm already looking forward to my labor again; I wonder if it'll be the same or not. I will try to go natural again, maybe next time I won't have back labor, who knows!

 

[starshinebby]

I'm not having an epidural for the simple fact that I'd like to have the full experience of labor and delivery. I've gone my whole pregnancy with no complications (not even morning sickness) so I figure that a day or two of pain isn't such a bad thing that needs to be numbed by an epidural.

I've gone through my whole pregnancy knowing that I wanted to have a completely unmedicated labor, so I have prepared myself for the big day.

It really depends on your view of things. I view it as a possible once in a lifetime experience that I don't want to miss. It's a very spiritual experience in my opinion and an amazing time to just let your body do what it was meant to do. It's a beautiful dance between mind, body, spirit, and your baby. I think with my views on the whole labor and delivery going without any pain relief just seemed to be the right way to go.

To each their own of course. Neither is better than the other. It's all about how you want YOUR birth experience to go.

 

[CatherineK]

I guess I'm not a spiritual type then!! Cause my 'all natural' labor was nowhere near a 'beauriful dance' lol. More power to someone that can have that experience, but good or bad, I'm just happy for my great kids. Seriously, I felt no less an active participant when I had my medicated birth. For me, I was more rested and able to focus and enjoy my baby. To each his own though!

 

[laila 44]

To each their own, it's very personal. I just love how first time moms say the epi needle scares them ! Lol. Trust me, when u are in labor with crazy back to back contractions, u won't care if they cut off your arm, let alone worrying about a 5 second needle!

 

[Twister]

^^^WSS

I also wouldn't be so certain that you definitely won't have one. Because tbh, ftm's have no idea how you will feel at the time, or whether you will be induced (contractions tend to be stronger when induced). Unless you're at a birthing centre or at home where it's not an option. I think it's best to remain open minded. It's easy to say " I won't have this and I won't have that", but truth is you never know how you will feel and how you'll deal with the pain when the time comes.

 

[aliss]

I guess I'm not a spiritual type then!! Cause my 'all natural' labor was nowhere near a 'beauriful dance' lol. More power to someone that can have that experience, but good or bad, I'm just happy for my great kids. Seriously, I felt no less an active participant when I had my medicated birth. For me, I was more rested and able to focus and enjoy my baby. To each his own though!

Yeah I totally agree with you.

Honestly, my natural labour consisted of me screeching on my bed naked and wanting to die from back to back labour??? LOL. But since I had complications with my 1st birth (epidural), it was an easy choice to make. It wasn't an easy experience, but an easy choice, if that makes sense.

I think some girls want a "spiritual" experience for sure but most of us are just looking for a statistically safer birth and labour, that's all. It's really not much different than those of you who choose not to have a few drinks, choose not to eat sashimi, or go cold turkey on cigarettes. We just don't want the rare risks.

We already got the side effects from the epidural once, and I wasn't going to chance that again.

 

[Loobylola]

To each their own, it's very personal. I just love how first time moms say the epi needle scares them ! Lol. Trust me, when u are in labor with crazy back to back contractions, u won't care if they cut off your arm, let alone worrying about a 5 second needle!

haha

 

[melfy77]

To each their own, it's very personal. I just love how first time moms say the epi needle scares them ! Lol. Trust me, when u are in labor with crazy back to back contractions, u won't care if they cut off your arm, let alone worrying about a 5 second needle!

Soooooo true!!!! haha It actually felt nice because I had something else to focus on

 

[summer rain]

The epidural needle does scare me and it would during labour. I personally have a severe phobia of needles, it's not a joke and unless you have it you can't possibly know what it's like. With my eldest two I had a cannula in my hand or inner elbow throughout labour it was really off putting and caused me a lot of anxiety and stress that did affect my labour, even if not looking at it. A needle in my back would be a million times worse. I'm sorry but it seems like some of the pro epidural mums are very dismissive of those who don't want an epidural like their reasons for not wanting one are foolish, silly, trying to be a martyr etc. if someone wants to avoid an epidural it's up to them and they don't need your judgement. Also nothing wrong with a FTM deciding she definitely doesn't want an epidural, sometimes being determined helps you to achieve what you wanted xx

 

[DLA]

I've seen women be extreme both ways. Laughing at someone because they want to try for a med free birth is just as nasty and discriminating as lecturing or judging a woman for choosing an epi. We are all different with different ideas of what birth should be like! We should respect that!

 

[readynwilling]

its true that a FTM doesn't know what to expect. It comes in various degrees tho. When i had my DD i was ADAMENT NO ONE but DH and I be in the room while i pushed - when it came time to push (with no epi) i didn't care if the entire world was watching it live on national TV - you are just in a whole other "world". Its painful, exciting, you have so many endorphins and adrenlin running through you. Its definately an experience... i did not personally have a spiratual experience, but i had one none the less and i don't doubt for one minute that a mom who had an epi - also had an experience, it was just a different one!

But i also agree that moms who are pro epi shouldn't dismiss our reasons for being against them, even if they seem "silly" - to us they really arn't. It was my fear of c-sections that kept me going drug free for my labour. Might seem silly to others, but is very real for me.

 

[summer rain]

When I had my eldest though I didn't end up having to be properly induced I was put on a drip to speed up my contractions as they kept petering out and was also on an antibiotic drip for much of the labour as my waters had broken about 36 hours earlier. Some of the staff really did pressure me to have the epidural but I really just didn't want to have it, end of, and I didn't. It simply wasn't for me. Despite being bullying and patronising about me not having the epidural after I had my son and all the scary stuff was over and done with (needing a catheter, needing an episiotomy, him needing warming up and help breathing, then having a retained placenta which they had to remove there and then as there were no theatres available) the midwife said that I was the only lady that day who hasn't opted for the epidural and they were always having to deal with the resultant complications from women having epidurals and I should give myself a pat on the back. I'm not blowing my own trumpet here but yes I did feel a sense of achievement that I was the only one who hadn't opted for an epidural that day. I also think the interventions needed would have ended up being much worse had I had the epidural. I don't judge anyone for choosing an epidural but it isn't for everyone and if a woman wants to avoid it completely then why not? Xx

 

[sjminimac]

I hate the whole 'FTM you don't know what to expect just you wait' blah blah. I find it a bit patronising if I'm really honest. Yes, NOTHING can prepare you for what you'll go through but that doesn't mean you won't be able to stick to (more or less) what you want.

 

[melfy77]

The epidural needle does scare me and it would during labour. I personally have a severe phobia of needles, it's not a joke and unless you have it you can't possibly know what it's like. With my eldest two I had a cannula in my hand or inner elbow throughout labour it was really off putting and caused me a lot of anxiety and stress that did affect my labour, even if not looking at it. A needle in my back would be a million times worse. I'm sorry but it seems like some of the pro epidural mums are very dismissive of those who don't want an epidural like their reasons for not wanting one are foolish, silly, trying to be a martyr etc. if someone wants to avoid an epidural it's up to them and they don't need your judgement. Also nothing wrong with a FTM deciding she definitely doesn't want an epidural, sometimes being determined helps you to achieve what you wanted xx

Believe me I cannot wait until my next labor to try to go natural again honnestly after my back labor if i get a ''front''labor I'll be over the moon lol. I just hate it when people say getting an epi makes you less of a mother. In that case, the same should apply to women who get a c-section. I just don't get it