Extended Breastfeeding

[TennisGal]

My daughter self weaned at 17.5 months, I am pretty sure she decided that my pregnancy hormones made everything taste a bit different!

I'd basically decided I'd keep going until Lizzie self-weaned, and was prepared to tandem feed.

I'd hoped that we'd be done around three, but again, I'd find it hard to quantify...unless I was in the 'hmmm, we need to stop'

 

[bky]

My limit would probably be around 4.
I know people say that extended BF is for the mother's benefit and this may be partly true, but people who say that have the wrong end of the stick entirely. Right now continuing to BF is a fantastic parenting tool. It gives me an easy thing to do that works 99% of the time for calming, soothing, sleeping and comforting. Hell yes that is to my benefit because it makes my baby happier and it's less work for me. Also weaning is hard. I've got enough hard stuff to do to even consider weaning just because society thinks I ought to. I've been trying to do it, though I'd be happy to continue, but BF is preventing me ovulating.
Right now I'm my baby's comfort object. Which is fantastic in a way and exhausting in others. But if my child had a more traditional western comfort object (a blankie, dummy, teddy etc) I would be concerned if she wanted to take it to school with her (tbh I've seen people in recent years bringing blankies to university). To me, that would mean she isn't getting some fundamental level of comfort from the rest of her life. I don't want her to have to latch on (har har), to anything, breastfeeding included, because she can't find comfort elsewhere.

As for bottle feeding after 1 vs BF after 1 the bottle feeding does not promote natural oral motions, as breastfeeding does, so can inhibit proper oral development. Cup feeding/drinking is a similar natural motion to breastfeeding so does not have this issue.

 

[summer rain]

I wonder if there would be any affect on the child psychologically if they were breastfed past the "norm". I personally wouldn't feel comfortable BFing past age 1.

Unfortunately there aren't many studies on extended breastfeeding but, as far as I'm aware, all those that do exist show a positive effect. One study showed a significant link between the duration of breastfeeding past one year and ratings of social adjustment in 6-8 year olds (Ferguson et al. 1987). Other studies have shown that the longer children are breastfed, the less likely they are to have behavioural or mental health problems. So yes, there does seem to be a psychological effect, but it is a positive one.

not to mention that looking at aged one as 'extended' BF is something found only in this society; in most other societies 2 is the very minimum age of weaning with it more commonly being between 4 and 7 years. Why do we in the west always think our society and culture is 'right' or 'normal' and others 'wrong' or 'abnormal'?

 

[Natsku]

I think I would like to continue breastfeeding til Maria self-weans but I don't know how I'll feel about it a year from now or whatever. But I hope I'll continue til she self-weans. I also hope she'll outgrow her egg allergy so I can eat eggs again!

And as for school age, I guess I would feel weird about breastfeeding her when she's school age but school age isn't til 7 so she ought to have self-weaned by then anyway.

 

[Zoex89x]

I don't think it's wrong, abnormal or abuse or anything else like that I am very much each to their own BUT not really sure why it does make me really uncomfortable after the age of 2, can't really put my finger on why and I am open minded about alot of different things so it's not that, as I say I don't have s problem with anyone doing it( why would I it's their child and not harming) but I have to say if I was out and someone started to bf thier 3/4 year old I would have to leave not out of me being rude but it just would make me feel so uneasy, I've seen it on tv before and felt uncomfortable, but that's because we can't all agree and be fine with the same things I suppose and for me this is just one of them things, I just find it odd people who bf to an age thier child will remember as I would hate to remember that and don't think I could look at dh the same way if he had been.
I must admit I've never looked into pros and cons of it but I would imagine if the benefits were soo great alot more people would do it and it would be the 'norm'
And as for it being a comforter I do understand but it does make me think people where out and see a mum pick up thier 4year old get ready a bottle of formula and to feed it them thier would be an awful lot of controversy and the mum saying "it's a comfort thing I'm waiting for them to self wean off the bottle" I don't think that as thier argument would stand a chance.

 

[Lightworker]

Re the idea that if there were significant benefits, more people would do it, that doesnt hold any water for me. Most people know the benefits of EBF for 6 months but still dont do it, so why would it apply to extended BFing? My DH actually remembers being BF and its not an issue because in our culture, breasts are not sexual. What is wrong with someone remembering one of the most awesome (in my opinion) part of the mother-child relationship?

 

[AnnaBanana9]

I breastfed Alyssa until she self-weaned at going on 28 months old. I think it was my pregnancy hormones affecting my milk supply and the taste of my milk that was a contributing factor in her self-weaning. I was fully prepared to tandem nurse, if Alyssa was still wanting to breastfeed.

I'm not sure personally what the definition of "extended breastfeeding" is, or if there even needs to be one. I suppose that if you use the WHO's recommendation of nursing babies until the age of 2, then anything 2+ is extended. I rather prefer how Tegan's Mama worded it though:

I don't agree with the term extended breastfeeding. How can you extend something that has no real time limit in the first place?

I hope to BF our next child for as long as nature intends. If they are still bfing at four then so be it!

 

[Zoex89x]

I've never heard of significant benefits of EBF but as u said before I've never looked into and u can't see why it gets put on tv and is so suprising to some people if it's so widely known that it so beneficial ( and in not by any mean saying it's not beneficial just that it would be the norm and people wouldn't be on tv explaining why they chose to EBF if most people know the reason is because it's benefitcial)
I said I find it odd not wrong that people bf to an age the child remembers and only odd to me as it's different from what iv ever been taught and that for me means that I would feel very uneasy having any memories whatsoever feeding from my mum as you said a mother-child relationship however to me in my opinion bf is a relationship between mother and baby. I just dont feel comfortable of the idea of dh remembering something so personal with his mum when now he does see my boobs in a sexual way. As iv said I really dont think it's wrong but I do think it's a very personal choice and your either comfortable with the idea or your not, I just put my view in as no one else seems to feel this way and I guess it's good to see different points of view to show there's no wrong or right on these kinds of things it's just what make you happy

 

[Lightworker]

sorry Zoe I hope my post didnt come across as attacking you- I do see your point. x

 

[Zoex89x]

Aw no of course not lw I just want people to know that there are people like me that who although I wouldn't personally EBF myself and don't feel comfortable if someone next to me was to do it it really doesn't mean we would thing the people who do choose to do it are wrong or abnormal I think a mix of opinoins and how we feel about these things are good x

 

[smelly07]

I can see Zoex89x point.

Just because BF is normal/natural it doesnt mean everybody is comfortable around it but doesnt mean they think its wrong iykwim x


edit: I REALLY REALLY wouldnt want to remember sucking on my mummies boobies sorry lol

 

[freckleonear]

It's not really surprising that many people feel uncomfortable about extended breastfeeding because of the way breasts are viewed in our society. From a very young age we are bombarded with the notion that breasts are sexual objects and it generally isn't until women start thinking about having babies that they receive the message that breasts are functional. Obviously in cultures where extended breastfeeding is the norm rather than a rarity, nobody blinks an eyelid at it and the memories of breastfeeding certainly aren't negative ones. There's also a strong attitude of pushing early independence in Western society, so the thought of young children still being dependent on their mothers for comfort is very much an alien concept, leading to the view that the mothers must be doing it for themselves rather than for the child's benefit. It's sad, but hopefully as more women practice full term breastfeeding it will become more accepted and understood.

 

[LeeBee]

I wonder if there would be any affect on the child psychologically if they were breastfed past the "norm". I personally wouldn't feel comfortable BFing past age 1.

Unfortunately there aren't many studies on extended breastfeeding but, as far as I'm aware, all those that do exist show a positive effect. One study showed a significant link between the duration of breastfeeding past one year and ratings of social adjustment in 6-8 year olds (Ferguson et al. 1987). Other studies have shown that the longer children are breastfed, the less likely they are to have behavioural or mental health problems. So yes, there does seem to be a psychological effect, but it is a positive one.

not to mention that looking at aged one as 'extended' BF is something found only in this society; in most other societies 2 is the very minimum age of weaning with it more commonly being between 4 and 7 years. Why do we in the west always think our society and culture is 'right' or 'normal' and others 'wrong' or 'abnormal'?

I didn't mean to say that age 1 was the norm. That's just the age I feel comfortable with. I would have a difficult time breastfeeding a child who was walking and talking...

I guess when I hear the term "extended breastfeeding" I think 4-7 years old. I just can't imagine a child that age breastfeeding would have positive effects I wonder what the age group was in that study talked about in the previous post?

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I was going to feed for 6 weeks. Then 6 months. Then 8 months, as that's how long I was BF for. But A loves boobies and I think it would break his little heart if I made him stop! I am not saying I'll definitely let him self wean but I think I will. If anyone I know has a problem with it then it's their issue.

 

[freckleonear]

I wonder if there would be any affect on the child psychologically if they were breastfed past the "norm". I personally wouldn't feel comfortable BFing past age 1.

Unfortunately there aren't many studies on extended breastfeeding but, as far as I'm aware, all those that do exist show a positive effect. One study showed a significant link between the duration of breastfeeding past one year and ratings of social adjustment in 6-8 year olds (Ferguson et al. 1987). Other studies have shown that the longer children are breastfed, the less likely they are to have behavioural or mental health problems. So yes, there does seem to be a psychological effect, but it is a positive one.

not to mention that looking at aged one as 'extended' BF is something found only in this society; in most other societies 2 is the very minimum age of weaning with it more commonly being between 4 and 7 years. Why do we in the west always think our society and culture is 'right' or 'normal' and others 'wrong' or 'abnormal'?

I didn't mean to say that age 1 was the norm. That's just the age I feel comfortable with. I would have a difficult time breastfeeding a child who was walking and talking...

I guess when I hear the term "extended breastfeeding" I think 4-7 years old. I just can't imagine a child that age breastfeeding would have positive effects I wonder what the age group was in that study talked about in the previous post?

To turn that on it's head, what kind of negative effects could breastfeeding a 4-7 year old have?

There are a few studies linking increased duration of breastfeeding with positive psychological effects, some research to indicate that a child can experience negative psychological effects when weaned suddenly or before they are ready, and absolutely no research suggesting that full term breastfeeding could be harmful in any way. It may not be much in the way of concrete evidence, but it would certainly suggest that any objections to extended breastfeeding are based purely on cultural preferences rather than scientific data.

A few people have mentioned memories, which interested me so I looked into it a bit further. Although there are no scientific studies on that, I did find a survey which suggested that out of 20 children who breastfed until 3-6 years old, only 2 of them had any memory of breastfeeding after two years had passed. I suppose it's such a normal part of everyday life for them that it isn't generally imprinted on their long-term memory. When some older children and adults who did remember breastfeeding were questioned, they all said it was a positive memory about being warm, safe and loved. It's easy to think that we would be uncomfortable with a certain memory, but unless we've actually had that experience then it's impossible to tell how we would really feel about it.

 

[Poppeteer]

I was breastfed till 3 years of age, and yes I do have memories.

They don't feel wrong or weird.... I look back at that time and remember feeling very secure and safe... I was a very independent child and teenager, but did well in life and now my mum is 100% my best friend... We live 5 mins away, we see each other every day and go out together.

I don't see it as a pp said 'sucking on my mums tits'. I was breastfed by my mum, given the best start, felt very loved and cared for and that relationship today has turned into a very close friendship.... I could never ask for more

 

[smelly07]

Awwwwww when i made that boobie comment in was very tounge in cheek......or nipple in mouth

Like i said before their is nothing wrong with it BUT doenst mean people are comfortable around it and it is unfair to suggest people should be comfortable around it because its natural. (edit i would be as uncomfortable watching someone bottle feeding a child over 7 as i would someone bf)


I actually had a bottle until i was about 4 only problem is it had sugary milky tea in it .........(yes i wouldnt and havent given my girls this and sugary tea in a bottle is definitley another topic starter and something i dont agree with)
HOWEVER
my mum obviously gave this to me as a toddler/pre-schooler and I LOVED IT.....

i remember my mum giving me a bottle and my dad said 'smelly youre to old for a bottle now you need to start having your drink in a cup and i remember clamping down on the teat of the bottle and shaking my head

although i have bad teeth they are most definitely happy memories so i imagine the same would definitely be for a child who remembered being breast fed! x

 

[Lightworker]

Poppeteer- your post made my day, thats just beautiful. x

 

[Laura2919]

I cant say I am comfortable with seeing a 3-4year old being breastfed. I think 2 is a good age to stop.

Im not against breastfeeding but their diet should be mainly solids and they dont need to have breastmilk, yes its good but they have lots of other ways to get nutrients.

I have seen a 7 year old breastfed and it made me uncomfortable. I think there is a limit.

 

[Lightworker]

Something that bugs me though is when people make what appear to be factual statements about BFing, its duration and related health benefits without substantiating them. I mean, why dont they need it after this magical age of 2? Why does it compromise their solid intake?