Extended Breastfeeding

[Blah11]

so in a sense its also like natural birth vs cesarean in regards to bonding as the same hormone is realeased during labour so it MAY take longer for a mother to bond with a baby if she has had a cesarean...?

doenst mean that the mother will feel differently or have a better bond in the long run with a child she has a natural birth with.?

does that make sense?

Yes, its the same hormone thats released during childbirth (and having sex!).

 

[Blah11]

A genuine question here - How does someone know how long it takes to bond? Everyone says people and children are never the same so how can everyone be put into a catergory like if you breastfeed to establish a bond quicker and if you have a natural birth you establish a bond quicker? Its a genuine question so dont shoot me down I havent read any books on this lol

Its just what oxytocin does to the brain. It increases trust and reduces anxiety and fear. Theres been studies on animals and those given a drug to supress oxytocin production do not have any maternal instincts towards their young. Obviousy we arent mice and sheep so we manage to create a bond eventually, even if we have an planned csection and FF.

Its like how some people say 'not everyone gets the immediate OMG I LOVE MY CHILD' feeling. After a natural labour, I did. I felt an immediate and really strong bond with her.

 

[Laura2919]

I only ask because I wasnt awake for the girls birth and I didnt see them for 5 days as the hospital they were delivered in didnt have the space and they were sent 70 miles away, their intensive care wasnt as good so I stayed behind, so clearly my bond with the girls was delayed. But I dont know if it would be the same for a normal c section delivery.

 

[aragornlover8]

A genuine question here - How does someone know how long it takes to bond? Everyone says people and children are never the same so how can everyone be put into a catergory like if you breastfeed to establish a bond quicker and if you have a natural birth you establish a bond quicker? Its a genuine question so dont shoot me down I havent read any books on this lol

Its just what oxytocin does to the brain. It increases trust and reduces anxiety and fear. Theres been studies on animals and those given a drug to supress oxytocin production do not have any maternal instincts towards their young. Obviousy we arent mice and sheep so we manage to create a bond eventually, even if we have an planned csection and FF.

Its like how some people say 'not everyone gets the immediate OMG I LOVE MY CHILD' feeling. After a natural labour, I did. I felt an immediate and really strong bond with her.

^^ My mom will never understand my own feelings towards my daughter following her birth. I had a c-section, because she had to come early as I was diagnosed with preclampsia and my body just wouldn't cooperate at all. I cried a little when I saw her, and I remember feeling relieved that my two day ordeal was over, but I also remember having this thought that "I don't have that 'whooshy' feeling everyone talks about." And I felt really disappointed. Now, of course, I feel extremely bonded with her, and I hate being away from her when I work one day a week. It just took a little longer than it would have in a normal situation, I think.

 

[Blah11]

^

 

[OmarsMum]

A genuine question here - How does someone know how long it takes to bond? Everyone says people and children are never the same so how can everyone be put into a catergory like if you breastfeed to establish a bond quicker and if you have a natural birth you establish a bond quicker? Its a genuine question so dont shoot me down I havent read any books on this lol

I didnt go into labour after my water broke although I had 3 inductions afterwards & a sweep. I have no idea what labour pain feels like. I ended up with EMCS. I also couldnt BF as I didnt have any milk. I didnt bond immediately, I didnt have that feeling of having a baby. It took me around 8 weeks to finally bond.

 

[fantastica]

Doesn't oxytocin (or whatever it it) decrease over time anyway? It's just an inital rush, I think every mother has an amount of it for a time anyway, and it decreases as your children get older. So although it may give an initial bond, it probably wouldn't have anymore of a lasting effect (although maybe it would psychologically). (This is only what I believe from something I read years ago, I could be mistaken)

As for extended bf, I honestly don't care. If someone wants to, that's fine, if someone is uncomfortable with it, that's fine too. I would've loved to have bf'd personally, and would still love to be doing it now. When I was pregnant I said 6months would be my limit, but it's not like you suddenly have a 2 year old, and now I feel completely different. (not that I cared what other people did, it was jut how I felt).

 

[Blah11]

Yep, its only released for the first few weeks (and is why a lot of women experience the feeling of there uterus contracting whilst feeding!)

 

[Leesie]

Before becoming a mum I would have said that BF'ing past 1 is extended. Now I tend to think that there isn't such a thing as extended BF'ing. Self weaning is normal and natural and as pp's have mentioned rarely happens earlier than 2.5.

I am currently BF'ing an 18 month old and it's not always fun. I have re-current bouts of thrush and have just never experienced BF'ing as being pain-free. But I keep going because I can see he enjoys it and I believe my own milk is nutritionally superior to cows milk or formula - both of which my LO has always refused anyway. So, so much for me continuing to BF because I enjoy it so much... lol.

As for expressing, what a mission. The last time I expressed I was lucky to get a few drops and the whole cleaning of parts etc... is the biggest schlepp. Why on earth would I want to make my life harder? Popping a boob in my LO's mouth for 10 min a day (max) is soooo easy even if a bit uncomfy for me.

Anyway just anecdotally, I was FF but my brother and sister were both BF and self weaned at 3 and 5 respectively. They are both more independent, successful and well-grounded than I am. Not saying it's all down to BF'ing but does make me wonder if it played a role.

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Aidens mummy. i completly get that and understand what you are saying there, but what i meant was if the same mother BF one child and FF another without any problems with either would the bond etc be better with the BF child? iykwim x

I have FF two of mine (through choice, from day one) & I'm still BF my third at 9 months old.

So I can tell you my experiences. IMO you will never know if BF will have increased the bond between mother & child. I feel I have a very close bond with all of my children & TBH looking back at the baby period I can't differentiate from the BF to the FF ones.

It's a funny thing really, I can't see how it can be compared. Every child is different so IMO you will have a different relationship/bond with every child.

BF is lovely and I really regret not BF my first 2 children, not because I feel my relationship would be better with my other 2, but because of the health benefits & because it is a special (not better IYSWIM) type of bond that only mother & baby share, it's something that only you as their mum can do and I find that special.

Back on topic, I don't really know what I think extended Bf is, perhaps 3 years +. But I don't think we need a title for it, if Mum & child are happy then it doesn't matter.

I don't know when I will stop BF my LO, I want to get to at least 1 year, I never thought I'd even try to BF never mind get to 9 months. But even after 9 months I still have my bizzare nipple phobia - I still cannot touch my own nipples

(I know no-one asked, but if anyone reading this is unsure of whether or not to try to BF, I would definately tell them to try their best. Honestly, if I can get past my phobia & still be feeding at 9 months, there is hope for every new Mummy & as I said I regret so much not at least trying with my first 2 children )

 

[Ashley8806]

With my first daughter I exclusively pumped breastmilk (because of difficulties in feeding directly from the breast) and it didn't interfere at all... it made it nice to be able to freeze for the future, etc, which I needed when I started to dry up so I had a backup. That being said, with this baby I'm hoping to be able to breastfeed directly from the breast, but if not will express again. If I am able to feed naturally, I will probably go up to a year old, then express it for a sippy cup for her. I think it's great for children to have breast milk for as long as possible, however there is a certain age I feel doesn't seem appropriate to feed from the breast.

 

[Miss_Bump]

Me personally would say 'extended' BF meant beyond 2 years but i know some woman who BF past 2 years give only a bedtime feed or 1 feed a day so i don't think it's comparable to a newborns nursing requirements.

Before I had Evie is was very meh about it all. I was totally uneducated and thought it was just the same as formula and anyone who nursed past 6 months was either weird, old or a hippy...
I got all the bottles and a small emergency tin of formula all prepared for my failure and you know what, as soon as Evie latched and had her first feed i was so overcome with pure emotion and love. Having such a delicate and precious life snuggled up to me feeding and dozing off to sleep was the best thing. It still is and I'll be so sad when it stops

It goes way beyond just giving your baby milk.

And for about 8 months I was always so engorged but could hardly pump 2oz of milk

 

[Eve]

Extended breastfeeding- Breastfeeding beyond 2 years of age.

Thoughts on extended breastfeeding- Lovely! If you and your child wish to continue to nurse past the WHO minimum recommended age, that is great and the benefits are still amazing and such. I think for one to criticize would only show their ignorance on the subject itself. People who criticize obviously have problems that need working through. To say it isn't for you, or you prefer not to is perfectly acceptable. After all breastfeeding in general isn't for everything for a variety of reasons, but to poke fun and criticize because a parent and child continue to nurse past your comfort zone is well... silly. I have had many people scrunch up their nose at me for nursing past 12 months, and if we could have make it until 2 years old, well... I probably would have lost a few friends over it sadly. I don't get it though... It is normal... it is natural and it is the best nourishment your child will ever get... what the heck do people see that is wrong?

General rant over.

x

 

[Laura2919]

I dont think anyone has poked fun on this thread? And everyone is entitled to their opinion and if people dont feel comfortable who are you to call them silly?? We dont call you silly for being for extended breastfeeding...

 

[Eve]

Laura Dear, it was in general... it's how I feel about the whole issue people can have with breastfeeding a toddler... no names, no direct attacks, no nothing... just opinion, which I am entitled to as well and with what I have dealt with and read from others over the past 12-18 months, the criticism happens very often which bothers me.

 

[Eve]

I also said for someone to poke fun or criticize would be just silly.... I didn't call anyone here silly at all.

 

[summer rain]

Me personally would say 'extended' BF meant beyond 2 years but i know some woman who BF past 2 years give only a bedtime feed or 1 feed a day so i don't think it's comparable to a newborns nursing requirements.

Before I had Evie is was very meh about it all. I was totally uneducated and thought it was just the same as formula and anyone who nursed past 6 months was either weird, old or a hippy...
I got all the bottles and a small emergency tin of formula all prepared for my failure and you know what, as soon as Evie latched and had her first feed i was so overcome with pure emotion and love. Having such a delicate and precious life snuggled up to me feeding and dozing off to sleep was the best thing. It still is and I'll be so sad when it stops

It goes way beyond just giving your baby milk.

And for about 8 months I was always so engorged but could hardly pump 2oz of milk

Yeah I am useless at expressing so if I was to express after one year or something and give it in a sippy cup then my LO would be getting virtually nothing and my milk supply would dry up within a week. LO won't take anything other than water in a sippy cup anyway xx

 

[Laura2919]

Then Dear, maybe you should make it clear that your talking in general, your post doesnt make that clear.

 

[Eve]

Laura, I am not being rude, haven't been being rude and didn't use dear in any other way that what it is meant for... you on the other hand are being quite rude to me and I find it unfair and unnecessary. I didn't think I would have to clarify anything really, since I didn't use any names, and really, as you said, if no one has been criticizing on this thread, why would you take such offense to my post? I do not understand...

 

[Eve]

Also Laura, I put at the bottom

General Rant over.