Hi Cheerios
I'm in Birmingham in the UK.
I teach 5 / 6 yr olds. I think part of my problem is that I have suffered on and off with depression for several years but I can't take anything for it now I'm TTC - and to be honest, when I stopped my meds 3 years ago, I was in a place where I was heaps better and didn't need it anymore, but a few things lately, including TTC issues, have kinda triggered it off again but I'm working hard at getting through it rather than giving into it. Just feel like I'm going through the motions of life and watching everyone else 'live' their lives.
I've got quite good at putting on an act over the last few years, so the kids don't see it and nor do the people I work with ... but I feel it
Hey dear Deb!
Thanks for sharing so openly. I can understand how TTC can trigger depression. I´ve never actually been diagnosed with depression, though I can get depressive easily, which I actually am aware of, so I try not to fall into that pit too deeply.
Do you see a counsellor? Or like a Christian mentor? I have one, but haven´t seen her for the longest time. I think I shd make another appt with her..... It would be good to get prayer on a regular basis? To kinna keep your spirits up so that you don´t store everything inside you..... Does your DH know about this??? What does he say / suggest?
I have seen various counsellors and therapists over the years, which have helped sometimes. My dr has referred me for some counselling but I have to wait a few weeks for an appt - it sounds like it will be working on my self esteem issues and feelings of failure and worthlessness which I guess will be a good thing.
I know people say you should snap out of it and we all know it's not that easy, but in a strange way I do kinda feel I need something to trigger a change and in some way to flip my perspective. I think the weather will help - we've had such a dark, miserable winter here and I miss the sunshine. I'm sure we all suffer from this SAD to an extent.
Dh knows how I'm feeling lately and is being supportive and he knows what it feels like too. He had been very down lately and has recently 'snapped out of it' and is so much happier these days - I think that has something to do with his thyroid tablets eventually kicking in ... but whatever it is ... I wish he could bottle it ... I'd pay good money for that!
Sending you hugs
Hey dear Deb.
I know how it feels. I was sucked into this mega hole yesterday that continued to this morning. Somehow teaching for 4 hrs today and not thinking of my body or PCOS or TTC really helped so much....At the beginning I was forcing myself to put a smile on my face, but then it got much easier after that.
Hubby has been trying to be supportive too. Yesterday we tried to pray before sleeping.
It went like this:
He started, I listened. He said something, I said smth and we got into a quarrel.
THen, we decided to re-start the prayer thing.
He started, I listened, He continued and then I literally whined to God and complained ALL over the place. And I asked God to show me smth to be thankful for. Cos I couldn´t think of anything!
Suddenly I was reminded of eternity.
IN the light of eternity all our momentarily troubles will be like a vapour. I asked God for a vision of eternity. And I just thought of eating all my favourite dishes, everyday of the week.
Then everyday of the month.
Then every month of the year.
Then every year of my life.
Then every life of my infinite lives......
And oh boy! I was beyond fascinated! My hubby thought of driving cars.....that´s a man thing I think.
I don´t think I can figure out eternity on this side of eternity, but the H.O.P.E. of eternity really pulled me out of the hole.
Not saying that I´m completely there yet, but for today, I´m good.
Hang in there, will remember you in my prayers tonight.
I'm praying for you babes. Yes, just keep your eye on the top of that hill. I love the downhill slope (especially on a snowboard 
) It'll all be soooo satisfying when your finished. I bucked and snorted through the whole academic process but when I finally finished my degree.... what a huge sense of accomplishment
. You going to take anytime off before you launch into MBA?
It's currently 10:30 am on Tues. here and what a perfect way for me to start my day! my greatest struggle is letting go. 
cheerios! xo
. My undergrad is in Literature and grad is Master of Art in Teaching. This is it for me. GL to you!!!
although I was under a ridiculous amount of stress that month, so whooooo knows.
ha! I will let you know what I figure out. It might very well be an exercise in futility but... heh ho
It sounds like you are on your way to a BFP!
