Josephine I know it isn't any of my business, but I'm nosy by nature. You say ttc is out of the question relationship wise because you aren't in a fabulous place, however you would be happy about any accident if it happened. How would your OH feel? I'm curious because if he would also be happy, then perhaps if he thought about that he may be more on board? I know when one wants a baby and the other isn't in the same place it can make your relationship awkward, I don't know if this is why. But if he would be happy and welcome a new baby if it happened by accident then I wonder if he would actually be as opposed to trying as he may think he is currently?