Father of baby attending prenatal appointments

[mrsdolton]

My dh came to every appointment so far and that's what he wanted as we get to hear heartbeat every time and sometimes he has questions he likes to ask midwife. We usually arrange appointments for early morning or late evening so he normally just makes the time up x

 

[Genevevex]

With our first, my husband came to almost all of my appointments. Now with the second, he is only coming to the most important ones. He came to the first ultrasound, and the appointment with the doctor I had right after, and the second ultrasound and that doctor appointment, too. He probably won't come to the next one, though.

In some ways, it's good to have him there (especially in the first trimester when you are sick), because when the doctor says how much your body is going through and how much you need extra sleep and support--it's really good. My husband didn't get how tired I was until after that first appointment when the doctor said that. After that he was all, "If you're not feeling good, maybe you should go lay down? Maybe you should go to bed early tonight?" That was really nice.

On the other hand, especially later on... it's kind of awkward to have him there. There are some things about pregnancy you'll want to talk to the doctors about that you might not want to bring up in front of your hubby. Or when they get to the point where they constantly have to check your dilation and stuff. Awkward! There were a couple times even with the first pregnancy I asked my hubby to step outside for a minute.

 

[curlykate]

With our first, OH came to most of the appointments...until we both realized that it was almost pointless to have him there! After sitting in the waiting room alllllllll afternoon for our first OB appointment (we start seeing the OB at 20 weeks, GP up until then), and then them just checking my urine, weighing and measuring me, and sending me on my way, we realized that it just wasn't worth him taking the afternoon off of work for. He came to all of the big ones, including the ultrasounds.
It will be the same this time. He was there for our early ultrasound, and he will be there for any subsequent ultrasounds. Other than that, he won't come unless we end up having an issue.

 

[MrsKChicago]

We're playing it be ear for now. He always has a weekday off, so it's easy enough to plan for him to be there, but we may reach a point where we decide it isn't worth it for him to come just to see them check my blood pressure and weight. It's nice to have him there because I don't drive, so it saves me the hassle of taking the train, and also because my midwife is in a really cute suburb that's nice for getting lunch or doing a little shopping afterwards. I'm only planning to insist that he join me for ultrasounds, any important explanation kinds of appointments (like when we find out more about the hospital calling routine, etc), and maybe the glucose test because that sounds boring as hell. If I get really uncomfortable towards the end, I may bring him along just so I don't have to take public transit.

 

[Feronia]

The appointments with my midwifery group are an hour long so that we get to know each midwife and have enough time to ask questions, so my husband went to every appointment with my first. He's planning on coming to all appointments with my second even though I'm back with the same midwifery group. They're designed to include the whole family -- it isn't just impersonal blood pressure and than you're on your way -- so I'm bringing my daughter as well. They even take the time to let her help them out!

 

[Pinkflower83]

Like someone else said mine came to all the major ones but not all of them. Most of them wasn't worth it for him to take off. Plus I had extra appointments cause I was a high risk pregnancy and it would've been impossible for him to go to all of them. I sort of liked going by myself though I could do whatever I wanted afterwards. Lol

 

[calm81]

My last pregnancy he came to almost ALL of the appointments and for my gender ultrasound his parents and my mom came. I hated having everyone there for the gender ultrasound, it was too overwhelming and DH is a "Johnny raincloud" and knows how to ruin good news. Tech,"Congratulations it's going to be a boy," parents clapping and smiling, hubby, NO EXPRESSION--boring. Stay home.

He's such a worry wart, every appointment he came to, he just griped," I hope this baby will be healthy", "I hope we can afford to give it a great life", "I hope I'll be around to see him graduate," don't get me wrong these are ALL rational thoughts, but EVERY appointment? He would say these with a frown on his face and in a very somber, depressing way, while I'm trying to be excited and enjoy seeing my baby on the ultrasound screen.

I don't want negative Nancy's, Debbie downers, and Johnny rainclouds around during my happy time. 9 months is a long time for a mom and when you get those couple "peek a boo" ultrasounds to see what your precious baby looks like in your stomach, you want to capture that moment and hold it close to your heart--not hear someone griping in the background.
This pregnancy I didn't invite him to the first appointment and I won't for the others. Unless he comes out and says "hey babe, can I go to the next appointment?" I'll just keep my appointments quiet.

Wow, I went on a rant there, I guess you can tell I'm a tad frustrated with DH, he asked me if we could try for another baby and I agreed, I got my BFP and showed him the test and he was more concerned with painting our shed, so I won't force him to be involved.

 

[HopingCarter]

^^LoL..that's definitely understandable calm81!! My hubby is quite the opposite though, which surprises me because he has 4 kids before we were married, but he said he never had the chance to go to the appointments so he's been quite excited! I've only had 2 U/S so far (due to unexpected cramping, then spotting after DTD which he came to both), and I meet my midwife on 8/14, and he's gonna make it his business to be there. Even after I told him it would be unnecessary to go to EVERY one, he wants to be there every time. This is my 1st so he said he really wants to support me and be there, so of course I don't mind lol!! When we heard the first heartbeat last week (6w 1d on 7/31), he was so speechless. He just sat there with the biggest smile on his face...imagine when it starts to look like a real baby

 

[lisa1980]

I think DH mainly came to the scans first time round as the rest is pretty dull. I know all relevant medical history so there was no need for him to be at booking appt.

This time he's been to the 12 and 20 week scan but that's it. I'm having extra appointments and scans due to being high risk but it's totally not worth him taking time off to come to those.

 

[Teilana]

So far DH has come to our first u/s and plans to be there for our next one which will be the gender scan. Those are the only appointments that he has really said he wanted to come to.