fathers??? still here or no???

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by lexis_mommy, Sep 3, 2006.

  1. Sarah_N_Braydon

    Sarah_N_Braydon Well-Known Member

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    where abouts do u come from hun?
    i hope thinks work out better for u
     
  2. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Aww hun x

    Have to ask don't you already have a wee boy - Pic in your avatar?

    As for your friends they aren't worth the name! A friend would be a friend no matter what just because they don't like him doesn't mean you don't love him! Naughty!
     
  3. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    :hugs: I hope he realises he has responsibilities and does help you out when baby comes hun.......it is harder with someone that is useless to you than it is being on your own!

    I agree with what Wobbles said, they are not friends, in that case hun!

    You will be OK hun, when that baby is here nothing else in this world will matter to you and you willl find the strength to do whatever it is you want, be it kick your BF into touch or to go it alone!

    I hope things work out for you hun......try not to worry, things always have a way of working out one way or another! :hugs: xx
     
  4. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Well-Known Member

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    ive got 2 cjildren and their dads are no longer around.

    i left jordans dad when he was pregnant because he beat me up.
    and lily-maes dad drove me to an abortion clinic after i told him i was pregnant. he issued me with an ultimatum, him or the baby!

    sod them both! their losses at the end of the day :D
     
  5. Iwantone!!!

    Iwantone!!! Well-Known Member

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    they say it either breaks you or makes you and singles mums have teh hardest job in the world but they are the best x
     
  6. Stef

    Stef Mummy to Olivia & PG #2

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    Its nopt really on topic but fairly related...

    My partner left his ex with almost a two year old daughter as the relationship wasn't working and he felt he was doing his daughter more harm than good being there.

    Although he hasn't just upped and left. He thinks the world of his little girl. I was there from when he left and watched him hurct so much that he wasn't there for her like he used to be and watched him cry so much. I used to try nd calm him down and just be there for him to talk to but i could never really understand the pain of what he was going through...

    so sometimes for the parents to split up with the child best interest at heart isnt such a bad thing. He adores his little girl and would never let her go with out. He dosent go a day with out talking about her.

    Many hate him for leaving his ex and his daughter but I think it was probs the hardest decision he ever had to make and think that he is strong for doing so.
     
  7. Dionne

    Dionne Well-Known Member

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    it dont make a mum a better mum just because she is single! ild put all my single mates to shame!

    its the person individualy nothing to do with wether the dads there or not!
     
  8. lilshortass

    lilshortass Active Member

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    my mans still with me, weve almost been together 2 years now. im 18 and hes 21. when we found out i was pregnant it was me who wanted to run away. i know your all going to think im awful, but i was devestated. i thought it was the end of my world. but my man just put his arms around me and let me cry, and then we talked for hours, and he said that whatever i decided to do, he'd stick by me. but he did really want the baby.
    weirdly, the next day, i started to get really attached to my baby, i couldnt stop thinking about it and i knew then that i wanted to keep it. my man was so happy when i told him.
    there are still some days that i get upset and think that ive ruined my life, and maybe i'll be better off without the baby, but i know thats only because of my upbringing (parents told me all teenage mums were awful and s**** and all this lot).
    im terrified of telling my parents, but i know i want this baby and although some days (getting rarer as time goes on) i think i'd be better off without it, i know deep down i want it
    sorry for the long message! just needed to share my feelings
     
  9. Tootsie

    Tootsie Well-Known Member

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    Ok here goes.

    There is one big reason i split from my ex.

    He wouldnt stop drinking. It wasn't a big thing, and he wasn't an alcoholic, but, He had a few and he would change. I regularly got left in the middle of nowhere to find my own way home, mainly because i would be enjoying myself and he would get jelly belly.

    Due to circumstances which i do not want to go into right now, the only thing i'm afraid of is being left alone. So he would use that against me like a controlling power trip. I'd never have any money, and he would fight me till he got my mobile phone and the house/car keys.

    I was knocked about a bit too when he drank, he would be appologetic in the morning, but he still refused to give up the beer. I was told what to wear, and more so what i couldn't wear, I went out to work just so i could have some money, and i would still have to document all the stuff i had bought while i was out.

    I got with him when i was 17, After a year we moved in together. By the time i was 20 i had Shaun, and then 2 and a half years later Ben. All was fine, and we had a good few uneventful years at the begining.

    He was, and still is, a great dad. He has the boys every other weekend and before he started his new job had them during the week, and when he had time off too. I cant fault him as a dad.

    He was a terrible partner, and sometimes i still catch him trying to control me in little ways.

    My new B/F Gary is brilliant even when Shauns attitude is at its worst. he refuses to allow me to be bullied by my ex anymore, and sometimes despite his quiet exterior pipes up nice and loudly to back me up :lol: We don't argue, mainly coz if i do its a one way street with me fighting myself. I really couldn't ask for more, we have so much in common, and we get along great. P.S. he dont drink neither :wink: :lol:
     
  10. mechelle81

    mechelle81 Member

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    My mum was 17 when she had me and my dad told her it was him or me. I had a tough time with my mum when I was growing up so painted this image of a dad who was this hero and would save me if he could - boy was I wrong! I methim when I was 17 and he was around for about 9 months then disappeared. I've spent the last 8 years trying to get back in touch and grovelling to him for forgiveness but I now know that I have nothing to apologise for. The only thing that hurt me was knowing I had 3 sisters out there who were growing up without me. I'm now back in touch with my sisters but he still acts like he's done nothing wrong.

    My moto now is of he can't be a dad then he aint worth it! I salute all those single mum's in the world, I know I couldn't do it!
     
  11. miss maternal

    miss maternal Well-Known Member

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    Ive been with my OH for 13 years, miscarried 2 years ago which brought us closer and now im pregnant and looking forward to being a family. I wouldnt have chosen anyone else to have children with and waited as my OH wasnt ready for kids but now wishes we had had them earlier. I think it takes a man ages to grow up and show commitment as he is almost 37!

    I found out that his dad left him and his mum when he was only a baby and he saw his grandad as a father figure, who is now 91 and lives with us. He has a bad back where his mum used to throw him in his buggy and even left him in the park once as she forgot him. He was never shown affection as a child and it took 11 years for him to open up to me about his fears and hurt but i know he will make a great dad cos ive seen what he is like with our cat and our niece. He said he would never leave me and the baby and if i ever left him then to promise that he could still be part of his or her life. I hope we will be together forever but you dont know whats rould the corner.
     
  12. Imi

    Imi .

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    Reading back on this thread and god how things have changed for me ...

    Gav is maddies dad has been since the day after i wrote that thread lol

    Now we having baby number 2 ...

    Im a very lucky woman, like tam says things happen for a reason!!

    xxx
     
  13. Louise

    Louise Proud mum to baby Nick

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    Nah.. the father of my kid aint around anymore.
    He wants the baby tho, which may I add he wont be getting.
    I'll fight hell and earth!
     
  14. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Huh? :wacko:

    I thought going on other posts you were with this guy?
     
  15. Louise

    Louise Proud mum to baby Nick

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    WAS yes. Not anymore.

    he started saying that if i ever got invovled with another man, he wuld take my baby from me :( :(. I was not prepeared to put up with someone like that!
     
  16. Imi

    Imi .

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    Right now im deffo confused!
     
  17. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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  18. Imi

    Imi .

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    m not on that many drugs an goin round the bend then terrie???

    lol

    xxx
     
  19. Tezzy

    Tezzy Mum of 2 TTCAL

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    lol nope!!!!
     
  20. miss maternal

    miss maternal Well-Known Member

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    sorry to hear that Louise. Thats emotional blackmail. :hugs:
     

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