helski
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- Apr 2, 2011
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I hope you don't mind me sticking my head into second trimester, I rather feel like I'm straddling first and second tri's at the moment.
I feel a bit weird writing this as it is difficult to put into words. I'm just finding the longer I go through this (my first) pregnancy the more hopeless I feel about it. Apart from a slight bleed at 5 weeks this has been a fairly ok pregnancy, a bit of morning sickness and tiredness but no where near as bad as I have heard other people have experienced.
What I am struggling with is increasing fear about this pregnancy. I can't feel this pregnancy is going to be okay, I'm just convinced something is going to go wrong and no amount of logical thinking, and DH patiently telling me that things are going to be okay is making me feel any different.
I had my 12 week scan this week and everything looked fine. I thought this would help me feel more secure, but it hasn't worked. Now we've 'gone public' that I am pregnant I can't help but feel that I've jinxxed it somehow and that I'll have to tell everyone that I've lost the baby. I don't feel like I want to talk about the baby, I don't want to look at baby things, or buy any maternity clothes or anything. It's not that I don't want the baby, I want it more than anything, it's just that I don't want to let myself get too close to the baby in case something happens.
Am I going mad? Do other women feel like this?
I feel a bit weird writing this as it is difficult to put into words. I'm just finding the longer I go through this (my first) pregnancy the more hopeless I feel about it. Apart from a slight bleed at 5 weeks this has been a fairly ok pregnancy, a bit of morning sickness and tiredness but no where near as bad as I have heard other people have experienced.
What I am struggling with is increasing fear about this pregnancy. I can't feel this pregnancy is going to be okay, I'm just convinced something is going to go wrong and no amount of logical thinking, and DH patiently telling me that things are going to be okay is making me feel any different.
I had my 12 week scan this week and everything looked fine. I thought this would help me feel more secure, but it hasn't worked. Now we've 'gone public' that I am pregnant I can't help but feel that I've jinxxed it somehow and that I'll have to tell everyone that I've lost the baby. I don't feel like I want to talk about the baby, I don't want to look at baby things, or buy any maternity clothes or anything. It's not that I don't want the baby, I want it more than anything, it's just that I don't want to let myself get too close to the baby in case something happens.
Am I going mad? Do other women feel like this?