Fear of missed miscarriage is crippling me UPDATE IN INTRO

[londongirl]

Hi ladies, I can't manage the fear anymore 😥

I'm 9.5w pregnant. I have tiredness, sore boobs, fairly mild symptoms. Much the same as the one successful pregnancy I've had I guess. I even heard the heartbeat at doc's at 6w.

So I should feel fine right?

But my first preg in 2012 was a missed miscarriage spotted at the 10w scan. I had all the preg symptoms and it was so traumatic. I've also had a 6w miscarriage in 2013 but that one just bled out and I didn't find it as traumatic.

I can't find this baby's heartbeat on home Doppler.

I've convinced myself it's a missed miscarriage and I have a doc's appt on Monday and I'm sick to the stomach of him putting the ultrasound machine on my stomach and saying "oh dear... I'm sorry" etc.

The fear is awful 😥 just venting really...

Anyone experience this fear??

UPDATE: WENT FOR SCAN AT 10+3 AND BABY HAD STOPPED GROWING AT 7+4. IN A WAY, MY FEAR OF ANOTHER MMC HELPED PREPARE ME FOR IT. SO MY TRACK RECORD NOW IS 1 HEALTHY PREGNANCY, 1 MC AND 2 MMC. 😥

THAT SAID, I REALISE HOW BLESSED I AM TO HAVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY BABY ALREADY.

NOW JUST WAITING FOR THE MEDICATION TO INDUCE MC.

I WISH YOU ALL THE ABSOLUTE BEST HEALTH AND HAPPINESS WITH YOUR PREGNANCIES. AND ILL BE BACK!!

 

[Isme]

I had this fear too. I'd never had a missed miscarriage, but this fear took over my entire first trimester. I was convinced that (among other things) my fear itself was a sign that something was wrong. I had an ultrasound at 11 weeks, and I wouldn't let anyone come because I was certain there was nothing there and I wanted to grieve privately. When the lady put the wand on my stomach and started talking about the baby like there was no issue at all... I started crying and couldn't stop. I'd never felt so relieved.

I hope that you get the same relief and joy at your ultrasound. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[londongirl]

I had this fear too. I'd never had a missed miscarriage, but this fear took over my entire first trimester. I was convinced that (among other things) my fear itself was a sign that something was wrong. I had an ultrasound at 11 weeks, and I wouldn't let anyone come because I was certain there was nothing there and I wanted to grieve privately. When the lady put the wand on my stomach and started talking about the baby like there was no issue at all... I started crying and couldn't stop. I'd never felt so relieved.

I hope that you get the same relief and joy at your ultrasound. Fingers crossed for you.

Thank you so much... Sounds like you relate exactly to how I feel... Did you have many preg symptoms in first Tri?

Ps congrats ❤️

 

[Bella12]

I had a similar experience. One of my miscarriages wasn't discovered until about 12 weeks. My baby stopped developing at 10 weeks. I started to spot very lightly and they did a scan the next day.

It was truly heartbreaking. I've since had a successful pregnancy (he's almost 2). I was stressed my entire pregnancy with him.

My present pregnancy has been anxiety filled as well. I actually had a private scan today just to make sure everything is going ok. While it doesn't guarantee anything I feel a little calmer today.

I think for those that had a mc and especially the later missed ones, anxiety just becomes part of the game. I hope you have a great healthy pregnancy! I hope your scan will calm any anxiety.

 

[Bella12]

And congrats on your pregnancy. You are almost to the safer zone.

 

[londongirl]

And congrats on your pregnancy. You are almost to the safer zone.

Thank you.... My successful pregnancy is now an almost 2yo as well 😍

How far are you?

You're right... Anxiety is just something you have to learn to live with...

 

[MoBaby]

Is this the first time you've tried to find the heartbeat?l with this pregnancy? Have you used a Doppler before?

 

[Bella12]

I'm 8 weeks today. The anxiety stinks. I feel like I can't tell anyone I'm pregnant for fear I'll lose the baby. Last time we didn't even tell our families until I was 20 weeks.

I'm debating when to tell them this time.

I haven't heard a heartbeat on my doppler yet. I think it is too early for me.

 

[Sophie2015]

I've had 4 losses. 2 of them mmc's. Currently pregnant and afraid to be excited or share the news. Every day I wonder if I'll lose this baby too. I can relate to how you are feeling. And I wish I could help. For me, I'm a believer of God. I remind myself daily that this is His child and He knows how to grow babies. I'm just the vehicle for Him to do that. And when that fails to help me, I try really hard not to worry about what I can't control. Worrying only steals my joy of being pregnant. Best wishes and sticky dust to all of you living with this fear.

 

[EverythingXd]

I can totally relate. I'm a bit of a worrier anyway, but last year I had an ectopic in January (lost ovary and needed 4 pints blood transfusion) and then MMC picked up at my 12 week scan last June. The MMC was by far the more traumatic of the 2 losses. This pregnancy I can't shake the fear.

I've had 2 early scans, and the following day both times I've been as worried as before. Just totally convinced I'm going to lose this one too. I'm only just now starting to think maybe it will be ok (heard HB on Doppler yesterday at over 11 weeks).

Someone on a 'Pregnancy after Loss' group I'm in said they focus on the fact that they are pregnant today and find happiness in that. I try to remind myself of that on my dark days. I'm pregnant now.

It's quite early for you for a Doppler hun, have you managed to find previous baby HBs before 10 weeks? I hope you start finding it soon

 

[Ally2015]

Hi ladies, I can't manage the fear anymore 😥

I'm 9.5w pregnant. I have tiredness, sore boobs, fairly mild symptoms. Much the same as the one successful pregnancy I've had I guess. I even heard the heartbeat at doc's at 6w.

So I should feel fine right?

But my first preg in 2012 was a missed miscarriage spotted at the 10w scan. I had all the preg symptoms and it was so traumatic. I've also had a 6w miscarriage in 2013 but that one just bled out and I didn't find it as traumatic.

I can't find this baby's heartbeat on home Doppler.

I've convinced myself it's a missed miscarriage and I have a doc's appt on Monday and I'm sick to the stomach of him putting the ultrasound machine on my stomach and saying "oh dear... I'm sorry" etc.

The fear is awful 😥 just venting really...

Anyone experience this fear??

I understand how you feel, i had a mmc last year at 8 weeks and i then had quite a symptomless pregnancy. This time round, i spent the whole first tri convincing myself it had happened again especially as i had very mild symptoms throughout, but so far all is good.

It is a horrible fear, but the odds are in your favour, chances are you will have a successful pregnancy. Good luck for your scan on monday... try to relax.

 

[Butterfly2]

I'm the same hun.. I had a missed miscarriage over Christmas 2012 i had the normal pregnancy symptoms went for my 12 week scan to find baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks and my body didn't register it was happening it was awful. I'm so nervous now and don't have a dr apt till Tuesday not sure when I will see the health visitor. It's nerve racking. I'd say keep your chin up and try not to worry but being in the same boat we will worry till that first scan x

 

[Miss_Cellany]

I was the same too. Had a mmc that was discovered at the standard 12 week scan in 2012. Finally fell pregnant again in 2013 and was terrified for my first scan. Was sort of in denial that I was pregnant until I saw that healthy baby to protect myself from the fear. Was also terrified at the 20 week scan in case something was wrong.
Same again with this pregnancy even though I've had a healthy baby in between. Still just as scared at both scans

 

[beemeck]

me!!!!!

I am totally cripple by it, it's just awful. I've never had a MMC, but I had a traumatic and rare loss followed by a year of infertility before becoming pregnant again through assisted reproduction. So I've feel like I've worked so hard and waited so long that I've just been holding my breath for over a month now since finding out.

I thought finding out that I was pregnant (finally) would be the most joyous thing ever, and instead I'm just ridden with anxiety and have not accepted the fact that I am pregnant, or more specifically that I am going to get a real life baby out of this. it's just awful and I'm sorry so many of us have to go through this.

we can stick together for these next few weeks - we are almost there! I've been itching to buy a doppler now that I'm this far along, but I'm so wishy washy about which situation will cause me more stress - having it or not having it.

but to answer your question, I'm having NO symptoms. not even sore breasts OR fatigue!! I feel GREAT! better than I've felt in awhile. however, I had been feeling this way and was waiting for the worst at my US last week. instead, baby was happy and healthy with a HR of 166. so now I'm trying to appreciate feeling great and telling myself that it doesn't mean anything about baby's health.....

 

[missy123]

I had the fear of it from the start to week 7 then relaxed thinking if it did happen it wasn't something I could control..I'm 10 weeks now and saw my baby today for the 1st time..I saw its heart beating and it's body move so as and from today I'm totally relaxing and giving him/her all the goodness I can xx

 

[skris4]

Me! I had a successful pregnancy 5 years back and 2 MMC since then along with a few CP's. My last MMC the baby had stopped growing at 5w4d and my body didn't realize that for atleast 2 more weeks. It was heartbreaking and a very sad time for me.

I am pregnant now after 12 months and have very mild symptoms compared to my first when I threw up 5x a day for 7 weeks. I keep thinking that my body has forgotten how to carry a baby to full term.

 

[Lorpezlza]

I'm due my 12 week scan tomorrow and have convinced myself I've had a mmc.
I've never had one but my last 3 pgs have ended in mc.
I've not let myself be excited for my scan at all in fact I'm scared. The anxiety that this pg will end up in mc is eating me up.
I truly hope everything is OK tomorrow but my heads telling me otherwise.

 

[EverythingXd]

Aah Lorpezlza, wishing you bags of luck for your scan tomorrow

 

[londongirl]

i'm due my 12 week scan tomorrow and have convinced myself i've had a mmc.
I've never had one but my last 3 pgs have ended in mc.
I've not let myself be excited for my scan at all in fact i'm scared. The anxiety that this pg will end up in mc is eating me up.
I truly hope everything is ok tomorrow but my heads telling me otherwise.

thinking of you so so so much xox

 

[londongirl]

It is so reassuring to read that I'm not alone. It really struck me by reading all the other accounts at how other people relate exactly to how I feel.

I would love it if people could give updates of scans and how things pan out. Could be very encouraging xoxox