Thanks girls you're sooo encouraging.
Guppy I could change midwife by changing doctors surgery, but our doctors are pretty good (although as with any NHS doctors hard to get an appointent with!!)
When I say I felt like a failure, I mean..my body hadn't done what it was made to do. Women are designed to give birth and I couldn't do it without help. Then there was the big suction bruise on Liam's head reminded me I'd failed him.
I think IF I do need assistance this time I'll be demanding forceps instead of ventouse.
I'm quite suprised you were allowed to push for 6 hours. I had meconium in my waters and was told I had an hour to get him out. I don't know if it was the epidural, or maybe my body just needed more time, but I had no urge to push at all so I was trying to force it but don't know how effectively I was actually pushing because I could hardly feel anything.
I'm refusing ARM and internals this time so hopefully I'll be more relaxed and not pressured. That way I can just listen to my body and do what I need to do...not what I'm told to do (I HATE being told what to do!!)
the urge to push didn't come very often for me either. I think thats very charactieristic of a posterior baby though, since not as much of the head is pushing down like in an anterior baby. They allowed me to push for so long because there wasn't anything negative going on for me or him. Plus my contractions were only coming about once every 6 minutes, and thats also why it took so long. They never spoke of assistance or anything simply because they knew i went that long unassisted/unmedicated and bc they respected that if i was okay and bubs was okay, then i didn't want it. He did have terminal meconium, but that is far different than regular meconium. Terminal its just something that happens on the way out, its not a form of distress like regular.
im surprised they did internals on you so much? they flat out refused bc of risk of infection. They checked me maybe 3x the entire time. mainly bc i was showing since of transition at 5cm so it was logical to think i could be nearing 10cm. Then i started pushing at 8cm and thats when they did a couple checks. apparently needing to push early is common with a posterior.
personally i would go vacum instead of forceps...forceps are lot worse than vacum....they cause much more damage to the babys head and they usually hurt your parts more because they are so much bigger.
but i think you did awesome! and you were made to birth this baby because you did
OR a girl as i have this in both my eyes. This will be lots of fun tomorrow when i go for my scan!!!!
I am still 2 pounds under prepregnancy weight but the MW was concerned, just said to keep an eye on it....I never got back to my prepregnancy weight with DS until 30 weeks, so im actually doing better this time 
....and I lost about 10lbs from week 7-17 due to bad MS (2-4/5x per day), so i guess im not doing so bad 
LESS THAN 21 HOURS UNTIL GENDER SCAN
So I said pretty much I am not leaving till I know I can't take this. She says oh don't say that your going to have to go because I have appointments booked all day I'll try some more but you may have to come back in 2 weeks so I can get all my measurements. We brought our son with us and he says we are going to find out what we are having today and she says to him I wish mommy's and daddy's wouldn't say that because sometimes you can't! ugh I am so ready to cry now Joe says go walk around and she says there is no time I told her I will stand on my head I swear. She looks some more gives Jonas a picture then swings the monitor around since I have been sitting in the dark not seeing anything while I was laying there says to my husband see those 3 lines right there? That is the labia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
congrats saphire!!!!!!! i am so thrilled for you! 
I just don't think there's any way I'll be able to read back 20 pages and catch up completely. LOL. 
has their LOs 
