Fed up of other peoples opinions. Co-sleeping related.

Discussion in 'Natural Parenting' started by cookielucylou, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. cookielucylou

    cookielucylou Well-Known Member

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    I co-sleep with my lo and find it great. According to everyone else i'm spoiling him, letting him get his own way, i'm too soft and he has me wrapped round his finger. He is 3 months old ffs! I dont mind advice when I need it but Ethan and I are both happy as we are. Even the oh wants him in his own cot by 6 months old at the latest. I want to make decisions between us but I feel like I'm going to have to pull rank as I'm his main carer. Some how I cant see the oh getting up several times in the night to settle him in a cot which he doesn't want to be in. How long did everyone/plan to co-sleep with their lo's? Does anyone have any links to sites where it shows why co-sleeping is better?
     
  2. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    sorry cant help with links but it saved me over the summer having EJ in our bed he made the choice easy on stopping though as he wasnt getting rested in our bed caus he wanted boobie to comfort all night which was imo a bit too much since he was having good feeds in the day plus solids so we moved house and put him in his own bed in his own room and havent looked back we all sleep so much better but i couldnt have survived the summer not doing it
     
  3. blessedmomma

    blessedmomma Well-Known Member

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  4. baby05

    baby05 Well-Known Member

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    I dont believe you can spoil a baby... They cry because they have needs. Ignore people who are not being supportive. You do what is right for your child.
     
  5. cookielucylou

    cookielucylou Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys. I dont believe a 3month old baby is capable of malice and I dont believe I can spoil him at the moment after. At the moment he needs to be close to his mummy not pushed away. What age did u guys stop co-sleeping?
     
  6. jackiea85

    jackiea85 Mum of 2 boys

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    Joseph was in our bed from about 3 months old to about 1 year, and then at 1 he started going in his own bed in the evening and coming into our bed in the middle of the night. He still does it now and he is 2. We get time alone in the evenings and we love the cuddles so my husband and I are happy with his. My FIL has made the usual "making a rod for your own back" comments but when I asked my mum if she thought Joseph was too old to get in our bed she said "Don't be so mean, you got into my bed until you were 9!" (she was a single mum and we shared a room at my nan's house anyway). If you are happy co-sleeping then ignore everyone else's opinions, your baby sleeping in your bed doesn't effect their lives so I have no idea why everyone else thinks they should get involved :flower: x
     
  7. Kaites

    Kaites Well-Known Member

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    Here's another link for you too:
    https://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

    We mostly just don't talk about co-sleeping with others- we're happy with our decision as parents and don't feel we need other people's opinions interfering. The only time we ended up having to be really firm about our decision with others was when my LO was hospitalized over Christmas and they assumed that she'd be able to just sleep in a crib. She was extremely stressed out so I stood my ground and eventually the hospital agreed to swap out the crib for a single bed with rails for the two of us- they agreed that if she needed my comfort, then it was the best route to go but kept going on about how if she'd been younger, they wouldn't have agreed to it. We had planned on moving her to her own room at somepoint soon but with illness and teething, I think it's going to be closer to spring before we start the transition. OH is the softie in our family though so at least I know that he's on the same page about keeping her in the bed.
     
  8. shiawase

    shiawase mum & expecting # 2

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    I dont talk about co sleeping anymore i cant be bothered with the comments! I didnt plan on doing it but liam wouldnt sleep in his moses basket or crib so for my sanity i let him sleep with me! I will be planning on doing it till liams around 18 months then i will try him out in a toddler bed in my bedroom but if he doesnt want to sleep in it then im not going to force him The only problem i have with it is naps he wont sleep on his own atall he has to be on me or whoever is in the house or in his buggy and i need to nip that in the bud before i go college full time.
     
  9. blessedmomma

    blessedmomma Well-Known Member

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    all of ours have stopped at different times. i think their personality has made a difference in when they stop. since i put a toddler bed right up against mine and gradually move them over to it, its not so hard on them. they arent just all of a sudden put into a new bed in another room and left to get used to it. my bed has been on the floor for years to match up to the toddler bed so that they can scoot right over if needed. they also nap in my bed so having it on the floor makes it to where they can get down after a certain age and come out after a nap.

    my 1st was 18 mos when she moved over, but came back into our bed for a while during the night. when my 2nd was 1 she was ready to go into her toddler bed and slept all night from day 1. she has always been very independent though. i moved them together into their own room at 2 and 3.

    my 3rd slept with us until he was about 2 1/2. he is almost 4 now. he still sleeps in his toddler bed next to my husbands side. there are still some nights that he climbs in and cuddles to my DH, not very often though. he is a more sensitive child though so we expected it would take longer. my 13 month old still sleeps in between my DH and i. we will be moving him into his toddler bed this weekend, but im sure he will move back over in the middle of the night for a while, or at least need a cuddle back to sleep until he gets used to it.

    we will be induced with number 5 in 3 weeks. he will be co-sleeping in our bed with us from birth just like all 4 others have. we have a king size bed, so this has never been an issue. i have tried bassinets, cribs, etc., but nothing feels right having them away from me. for us it just feels natural to nurture them back to sleep with cuddles. not one has had any issues, fallen off the bed, gotten rolled over on, any crazy stuff like that some people are worried about.

    you just have to decide whats best for you and your child. it doesnt have to be whats best for your extended family, friends, or acquaintances. be confident in your decision and if its such an issue for them let them talk about it when you are not around. try not to listen to their comments, im sure there are things they do that you wouldnt approve of too. im lucky to have a big teddy bear for a husband who is very sensitive himself and enjoys the benefit of co-sleeping as much as i do.
     
  10. BunnyFace

    BunnyFace Mummy

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    I now co-sleep full time with Ellie, i get the "you're spoiling her" "you'll make a rod for your own back" etc etc. I don't give a monkeys, it works for us and she's much happier with me plus is great for your milk supply and LO can just help themselves. I will co-sleep until she doesnt want to anymore :)
    I personally dont think you can spoil a baby, how is letting a baby be close to Mummy for comfort be spoiling them? They want to be close to their Mum, not a million pounds.
     
  11. cookielucylou

    cookielucylou Well-Known Member

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    If it was just other people I could possibly cope with it bit oh wants to have the bed back to just us, and thinks it will be harder the longer we leave it. Has anyone co-slept successfully with 2 as we are planning to try for another baby in July.
     
  12. blessedmomma

    blessedmomma Well-Known Member

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    i have. my first two. and now am co-sleeping with one, and the older one part time. soon will have a newborn and a 14 month old in bed with us. im planning on setting up his toddler bed, but i know its a process and he will be in bed with us a lot at first. could even be nights when our 3 yr old gets in bed with us, and the 14 month old, and the newborn!

    i hope your OH will come around or you can find some way to compromise on it. its always best if you and OH agree on how to raise your children i think. a lot less stressful in the home.:hugs:
     
  13. pinkandfluffy

    pinkandfluffy Pregnant with Number 2!

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    Hugs..... my OH feels the same. Dylan is a frequent nightwaker so I tell OH when he is prepared to do the night shift he can move him out :haha: he is 6 months now and OH magially thought he just pottered off to his own room on the day :winkwink:

    We still BF so I can settle LO in seconds but it takes OH longer........especially if he was in another room and had time to hit meltdown before someone got to him :dohh:
     
  14. cookielucylou

    cookielucylou Well-Known Member

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    I think its hard for them to understand when it isn't them that has to get up 3 times in the night. We have a super king bed so not like it isn't big enough anyway! I showed him a bit from one of the links about sleeping together helps regulate babies breathing, which made him change his view a little bit :)
     
  15. cantthink

    cantthink Well-Known Member

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    I read 'Three in a bed' its a great book about cosleeping.
     

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