Feel a bit guilty

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by Annie77, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. Annie77

    Annie77 Cautiously expecting

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    I will just keep this short but really need to get this off my chest.

    My husband did not want any more children after 2nd daughter and although I did, I didn't rock the boat and just got on with it.

    In january 2010 we applied to the local fostering/adoption agency to become respite carers for children with disabilities. It has been a long slog and this January we moved to another agency as the original one was deadly slow and disorganised.

    It came to light in July, after a huge amount of training and interviews etc that the agency will stop any respite placement should the foster carers have another birth child - even if the carers, child and family wish to continue. Because my hubby didn't want another baby I didn't give it too much thought, if anything it reinforced the idea that I would not be getting pregnant again.

    However - we had a genuine oopsie in august followed by a very upsetting ectopic and methotrexate treatment. We didn't tell our social worker as we didn;t see why we should as it didn't change our mind about fostering. However, my husband is now agreeable to having another (last) baby and so I intend to stop using protection next cycle.

    I want to have a baby but I also want to provide respite care (roughly 1 weekend in 6). Due to my medical background we are likely to be matched with a child with severe disabilities but if we are both keen and the parents are happy - where is the harm?

    I feel guilty going to the approval panel tomorrow but feel that even if I could give 6 months worth of respite, it would be worth it to the family? Am i right or am I just being deceitful??
     
  2. Annie77

    Annie77 Cautiously expecting

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    okay - we were approved my panel today and next week a social worker is coming out with a list of children to discuss who are needing respite breaks at weekends.

    I still feel guilty but like I said, giving a family some weekend respite for a couple of months is better than nothing at all.
     
  3. MrsMoo72

    MrsMoo72 Happy mum of 2!

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    I completely agree with you and admire you for taking this on. And since you're not pregnant yet, i see no reason to tell them that you're trying. Good luck :thumbup:
     
  4. cloud9

    cloud9 Guest

    my brother has disabilities and i know just how much respite breaks mean to those involved, you would be helping out not just the person you're caring for but everyone in that family. i admire you incredibly!
    exciting news on the ttc front good luck :hugs:
     

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