Birth story
As you all know, I was admitted to be induced on Monday 9th September. When I arrived on the ward, I was taken to the induction of labour suite and hooked up to the monitor to check baby and to check for any tightening's etc.
Once that was completed, I had the first pessary inserted - this was at 9.45am. I was then told to wait for 6 hours. Nothing much happened during those six hours, we walked the length and breadth of the hospital several times, I visite my friend who works in the cash office in the hospital, we had lunch. Back to the hospital bed to be monitored ahead of the second pessary. All fine.
Went to be examined and for the second pessary to be inserted and the midwife accidentally broke my waters - and there it was.... meconium! She said I was 1-2cm dilated and she could get a finger inside.
Gone was my extra six hours to go into labour on my own. Gone was my option to stay mobile and have a bath and bounce on my ball.
I was informed I would need to go straight down to the delivery suite and be constantly monitored. This was 5pm.
We made our way down and I was shown into room 7 - that room will haunt me forever.
I was hooked up to the drip and it was started off slowly, they cranked it up every half an hour until I was having regular contractions. I pretty much asked for an epidural straight away as was warned that the artificial induced labour would be more painful and I knew that I didn't want pethidine or diamorphine.
I was pretty comfortable to begin with, just a period pain feeling, and was happily chatting away to the midwives.
The anaesthetist was in theatre so had to wait for him to be finished so I definitely felt regular contractions before the epi was put in. It made me itch like mad though, it was awful. Skin felt cold to the touch and sooo itchy.
I was quite chilled at this point and even let Darren go and meet my cousins husband in the pub over the road for a drink and something to eat. This must have been around 8 / 9 o'clock. Darren returned after about an hour and a half and I was examined 4 hours after the drip was started - this was 1am. I was gutted that I was still 1-2cm. They cranked the drip up more and I was left for another 4 hours.
It was at this point that I started to feel the contractions again despite having regular top ups. I mentioned it to them but didn't make a huge fuss as its not in my nature but I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable.
They continued to top it up, but at some point it was forgotten and I was in agony by the time they topped it up again. I had been asking and asking, but as they has been nipping in and out of the room, it hadn't happened. It was sheer agony by the time it was eventually topped up and took a while to take effect.
I was complaining that it was only covering a small strip on my left side and that I was feeling a huge amount of pain on my right side. They had me turn on my side to try and get the liquid to roll into the part that was still hurting - it didn't work. I was puffing away on the gas & air and was kind of zoned out on that, assuming that the pain I was feeling was normal.
I was again examined at 5am and was 5cm - I was ecstatic, progress at last!
The next four hours passed in a blur of pain and gas & air. When they examined me at 9am, I was 9cm. I'm not sure at what point all hell broke loose, but I just remember them saying 'braddy' and pressing a button on the wall and suddenly there were like 15 people in the room and they were struggling to find a heartbeat. I was in sheer agony and couldn't let go of the g&a, but looking up at Darren, I've never seen the colour drain from someone's face so quickly. It seemed like a lifetime until they said 'Its come back up again'. I now know that that was Bradycardia, where the heartrate dips below 60. This happened a couple of times and Darren was starting to lose his patience with them and asking why I hadn't been sent for a ceasarian. They said they 'thought' that he kept gripping the cord and that's why the heartrate was dipping.
After this, they struggled to keep tabs on the heartrate so informed me they wanted to put a clip on his head. I wasn't fussed on them hurting him, but knew that it was for the best.
I was then again examined at 1pm and was gutted to realise I was still 9cm. They informed me that sometimes the last cm gets stuck around the babys head so they would attempt to remove it manually. This was extremely painful.
Once this was done though, I was finally 10cm. I think they made me wait a while before pushing but my memory is a bit hazy.
Getting to 10cm is where the real 'fun' started.
They got me to change positions due to me complaining that the epi wasn't effective on more than half of my tummy and back - this is when one of the midwives noticed that the bed underneath me was soaking wet.... my epidural had fallen out and all the top ups had just been pouring down my back and on to the bed!!!
Darren was furious, I've never seen him that angry and upset. So I had done most of my labour, up to 10cm and including manual removal of the last cm on gas and air alone. No wonder I was in agony.
They called the anaesthetist and he gave me two options - pethidine or another epidural. I opted for the latter, even though I was warned that they may not be able to do it due to me not being able to sit still. I had to promise that I would sit still to enable them to be able to do it. I was determined. Have never been so determined in all my life.
I had to perch on the end of the bed holding a pillow whilst he inserted it. He was quite rough and nasty with me, as when asked to arch my back like a cat, I couldn't - as I couldn't even remember what a cat looked like at this stage, never mind how to arch my back like one!
Anyway, I sat still and he put the new one in. It took a good 20 minutes to start taking effect, but when it did... omg, it was amazing. I hadn't realised just how much pain I had been in.
At this point I was ready to push. I can't remember if they made me wait before pushing, that part is a bit hazy. I started pushing eventually and I have never felt pressure like it in my bottom, it was awful and even after doing contractions with no epi, I would say this pressure was worse. I remember just saying over and over "I can't do it anymore, I can't do it anymore"
They just kept telling me to keep pushing. I changed position and leant over the head of the bed on my knees but had to move as my legs and feet were so swollen that Darren said they went purple.
After over an hour of pushing, they wanted to re examine me as I wasn't making any progress.
They examined me and I was informed that he had moved his head and that I would not be able to push him out on my own. It was at this point, I think that Hugo started to get distressed.
I just remember people appearing from nowhere, the doctor telling me that I would have to be prepared for a ceasarian but would need a general anaesthetic due to the epi not being effective enough and the fact that she thought I didn't have the strength to push any longer.
I was like "no way, I've not done 24 hours of incredibly painful labour to miss out on the birth of my child"
She said that she would be able to rotate his head and deliver him by forceps but he needed to come out now and she again warned me that if we went down that route, that I would have to focus and have the strength and the energy to push him out whilst she guided his head with the forceps. I honestly don't know where I got the strength and determination through the pain after 24 hours of no sleep or food but I just kept focussing on the fact that I was minutes away from meeting my rainbow after all that time.
As Hugo needed to come out asap, it was agreed they would do it in the delivery room rather than move me to the theatre so the bed suddenly got converted into some contraption with stirrups and I was prepared for the procedure.
I noticed that they got the baby resuscitation area ready and panicked that I was going to lose him. It all happened in a blur from then on - the doctor performed an episiotomy and inserted the forceps. I pushed and pushed and pushed. Nothing seemed to be happening. At the point where I was thinking that I could do no more, Darren said and I will remember this forever... "keep going, I can see his head"
I could have cried, but it gave me the strength to push like I've never pushed before and suddenly Hugo was born.
He was placed on my tummy while they clamped and cut the cord and I will never forget that moment, seeing a baby that I had carried for nine months and wanted for years. Darren didn't get to cut the cord due to Hugo being distressed. He was groaning a lot and covered in gunk. They cleaned him off and then whisked him to the resuscitation area, but I knew he was ok as I heard him cry - music to my ears.
After they had checked him over, he was brought to me and placed on my chest. I cried. Darren was just in awe.
I quickly began to feel poorly though and had to ask Darren to take him as I thought I was going to drop him as I was shaking and so tired that I kept dropping off. I kept opening my eyes and seeing Darren holding his child - it is something I have waited years to see
At this point, the doctor was getting ready to remove the placenta. They wouldn't give me the usual injection as my blood pressure had been raised during labour so I was put back on the synctocin drip. It quickly became apparent that my placenta would not come out. The doctor pulled and pulled and nothing. It took a good while and a lot of tugging but it came out eventually. After that the bleeding would not stop and I nearly had to go to theatre. I lost 2 litres of blood in total.
It was at this point that they dropped the bombshell that Hugo was poorly and was being taken to neonatal as he had a temperature and was quite bruised from the delivery. I was heartbroken but knew that he was going to the right place. They told me Darren could go and see him once they'd got him settled.
I was immobile as had a catheter in and was hooked up to an IV drip. I also had a temperature of 39.4 and they were quite concerned about me. I could not shaking and was freezing cold but they kept putting a fan on me and I kept pleading with them to turn it off. They did my observations every hour. No one came to take Darren to the neonatal unit so he eventually went home for a sleep as he was exhausted. They brought me a photo of him and I stared at it all night and didn't sleep a wink. I stayed on delivery suite as I was so poorly and they wanted one on one care for me.
On seeing Hugo the next morning, he had a feeding tube in, had had a lumbar puncture, had a canula in his little arm and I was also informed he had Erb's Palsy, caused from nerves being damaged as he was pulled out with the forceps. I was devastated, he had paralysis on the left side of his face and a weakness in his left arm. I held him but ended up asking them to take him off me as he was crying out in pain being held. I also tried to breastfeed but he was in such pain that I got so distressed that I could not do it.
He spent two days in the unit and eventually came up to me on the ward on the 12th, but we spent a full week in hospital due to his infection.
I had numerous issues with my medication being calculated wrong, not being given my antibiotics on time (was supposed to be on 3 per day it turns out but I was very rarely given 3 a day). I was on tinzaparin injections but they calculated the dose wrong so I only ever got half what I was supposed to (this only came to light when I was leaving hospital).
The worst thing that happened was that Hugo was on 4 hourly observations for the entire week. Some of which I slept through in the night, but one particular night I was awake lying there in the dark and when the nurse came in, I closed my eyes as wasn't in the mood for a chat. She took his chart and disappeared with it, returning a couple of minutes later, replaced it and left. I made a mental note to check it in the morning. When I did, she had falsified the figures.... not checking Hugo at all. I reported her, but to this day don't know what happened over it. I spoke to the Ward Manager before I left who was aware of my entire 'experience' and she has invited me back to go through my notes as she could tell how traumatised I was over the whole experience. I am going to request a copy of my notes as I want to see for myself what went on.
I think I will leave the birth story there. I'm sure I have missed some out as the body is an amazing thing and helps you to forget a traumatic event - something I am very glad of.
The most important thing is that my rainbow is here, he is perfect and I love him dearly... and if I had to do it again tomorrow for him, I would
I don't know how to tweak either - I'd get myself a digital test asap! 
due today, I 'm crampy too.
