Femmes Fetales - (PAL) Holding onto Hope 9 months and on...

[Vixmar]

Happy New Year ladie!!

Its been amost a year since i last came and checked in i never forget what brought me here back in November 2010 but life is so hectic!

 

[Vixmar]

Neffi
Im so sorry to hear your news
Its been 3 years since my ectopic baby (i hate the word ectopic pregnancy) for which i had surgery and i know these days are dark ones and you are in every right to feel the way you do and you may have many more days like that, i have no words of wisdom, and ive re read the posts i wrote in those early days and my god i had many pitty partys of my own!! you may not see this at the moment but its a good thing theyve saved your tube ( when people would say that to me id scream n say and???) i pray you heal and recover well physically and emotionally, take care of yourself and dont keep how you feel in, hugs n prayers for you xxxx

 

[Vixmar]

New
Hugo is just adorable well done
Your birth story made me go cold, how horrific for you!! i do think getting you medical records may give you closure, i hope so x

 

[Vixmar]

Milosmum
Conmgrats on you new little bean
i hope all goes smoothly xx

 

[Vixmar]

If ive missed anyone i dont keep incontact with on fb then sorry and hello!!
I cant belive how quick these 3 years have gone ( original lose group)
Makes my heart sink when i come here it reminds me why i came here in the first place, but i only have to look at libby and my tattoo to remember my angel gave way so i could experience lose to appreciate the love of my children.

I do hope all the babys ( toddlers) are well and growing!
Libs turned 2 in October, she just amazes me more each day, shes in a big girls bed for the first time tonight she was so excited bless,
We are going to attempt the hair dressers tommorow for the 3rd time as previous attempos shes point blank refused to let the ladies near her beutful blonde curls so ive have to try and cut them off myself lol ( thank god for utube tutorials) but now it reall needs a good cut!!
Ive nothing much else to say, lifes just moving on
I wont leave it a year this time promise
Take care xx

 

[GreyGirl]

So sorry Neffie I'm glad you avoided tube loss, but it's a painful loss nonetheless

Loving all the pics ladies

I thought I'd add to the gallery - this is Isabelle at 14 months playing with wool.

She's doing very well, she talks a little, signs a few words and is walking well. She's a happy little girl most of the time and we enjoy time with her. I work 2 days a week so I'm liking the balance we have.
I wanted to be pregnant with no2 by now as I'm terrified of secondary infertility, and being LTTTC again....but hubby has been postponing it every time we talk about it. He's worried about the money and childcare money, which I understand - but I'd rather have a few tight months than miss the boat for a second baby. I've already compromised by agreeing to stop at 2 when deep down I wanted 3...and now I'm having to wait longer We've tentatively agreed to try in the summer and if I get pregnant quickly there will be around 2 years 3 months between then...but that size gap already worries me!
Sorry for the venting, but I literally have no one else I can talk to about it. It's been a constant source of stress bubbling under the surface for months now

 

[NewToAllThis]

Hi Grey.
Isabelle is absolutely adorable. I plan to go back to work 2 days a week too, I think it's a good balance.
Sorry you & hubby are at odds over TTC no 2. It's difficult isn't it. I, as well as you understand his concerns over money etc, but as you rightly say, you don't want to miss out. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 39 in a couple of weeks and unsure of whether we should TTC again or not. I don't want a very small gap but I've not got the benefit of years ahead of me either. Its difficult.
But I don't want to get to 50 and regret not having (or trying) for a second.

Hi Vixmar. Long time no see. Nice to see some old faces returning (not that I think you're old, ). Thanks for reading my birth story. It's becoming a distant memory now and not something that I now feel traumatised over luckily.

How is everyone else? Well I hope.

Hugo & I are doing well. He just turned 5 months and is an absolute joy. Such a happy smiley baby and sleeps well (apart for last night, lol).

 

[Amberyll23]

Grey--Isabelle is such a beauty, those pictures are gorgeous!!

I understand your frustration about TTC #2 and I hope you and hubby are able to work things out. I really hate that money/childcare costs pose such a hurdle these days for us ladies who want to fill our worlds with beautiful little ones! We are tight with 2, even though both of us have good jobs--but living in a more expensive suburb (with the best school district and good reputation for safety, which is why we live there) and paying for a private learning center for both of them really takes a chunk out of things, even with cutting back other things to the bone!

And I really have yet to rule out having a third. I knew I would love being a mommy, but I had no clue that I would love it quite this much, haha! But I am no spring chicken, I turn 40 in August, so my childbearing days are numbered as well. DH is of course happy with what we have, but he hasn't flat out told me "no, never", just "not right now" (which I agree with, we have our hands full!) So we will see! If the cards fall that we don't have another, I will be content with my 2 princesses, who are truly my world, I am so blessed to have them!

Keeping my fx'd for you hun! I so want to see you give Isabelle a little brother or sister!

Vix--I see you daily on FB, but happy to see you back here!

New--Same thing, I love watching little Hugo grow! He is such a gorgeous boy!

 

[Nichole]

milo - congrats and fx'd for you!

Grey- my siblings (I have 3) are all (almost exactly) 2 years and 3 months apart and they couldn't be closer. It seems like a lot, but isn't really.

As for me... Hi ladies! Life with the 2 little one is crazy hectic! Adalynn is almost 5 months already! And Saharrah turns 4 in April! I'm still BF'ing (although not exclusively, since she has a HUGE interest in whatever we're eating/drinking now), but this is, by far, the longest I've been able to go. Adalynn just rolled over for the first time Monday night. From back to belly. She's an old pro now. Already trying to scoot. Saharrah will start preschool this next school year. Other than that, we don't have too much going on here...yet!

 

[loveanurse1]

Just wanted to say hello. Nothing to report here other than just had surgery for kidney stone removal. Large stone wouldn't pass on its own. It was so painful.
As for baby making. We pretty much have given up.
Hope all are well

 

[milosmum]

Bad news I am afraid ladies I have been having weekly scans since 6 weeks but this pregnancy has not progressed and is no longer viable - that horrible term. Sadly I haven't yet miscarried so I just have to wait for my body to realise this pregnancy is over. It's been a bad day but cuddles with my boy have helped this evening.
Go give all your beautiful babies extra cuddles tonight ladies - we are so lucky to have them all xxx

(Sorry overly emotional post!)

 

[NewToAllThis]

Oh no I am so so sorry. I know that feeling so well and it's horrible.
There's nothing anyone can say to take away your pain but we are all here for you as always to help you through this.

 

[GreyGirl]

Hi Grey.
Isabelle is absolutely adorable. I plan to go back to work 2 days a week too, I think it's a good balance.
Sorry you & hubby are at odds over TTC no 2. It's difficult isn't it. I, as well as you understand his concerns over money etc, but as you rightly say, you don't want to miss out. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 39 in a couple of weeks and unsure of whether we should TTC again or not. I don't want a very small gap but I've not got the benefit of years ahead of me either. Its difficult.
But I don't want to get to 50 and regret not having (or trying) for a second.

Hugo & I are doing well. He just turned 5 months and is an absolute joy. Such a happy smiley baby and sleeps well (apart for last night, lol).

5 months already - wow!!!

I'm 29, so in theory I have time on my side, but with PCOS and only 1 tube I still worry more than is perhaps reasonable.

Grey--Isabelle is such a beauty, those pictures are gorgeous!!

I understand your frustration about TTC #2 and I hope you and hubby are able to work things out. I really hate that money/childcare costs pose such a hurdle these days for us ladies who want to fill our worlds with beautiful little ones! We are tight with 2, even though both of us have good jobs--but living in a more expensive suburb (with the best school district and good reputation for safety, which is why we live there) and paying for a private learning center for both of them really takes a chunk out of things, even with cutting back other things to the bone!

And I really have yet to rule out having a third. I knew I would love being a mommy, but I had no clue that I would love it quite this much, haha! But I am no spring chicken, I turn 40 in August, so my childbearing days are numbered as well. DH is of course happy with what we have, but he hasn't flat out told me "no, never", just "not right now" (which I agree with, we have our hands full!) So we will see! If the cards fall that we don't have another, I will be content with my 2 princesses, who are truly my world, I am so blessed to have them!

I know - childcare costs are crazy and certainly put a halt to things :S I hope you can come to a decision you're happy with

Grey- my siblings (I have 3) are all (almost exactly) 2 years and 3 months apart and they couldn't be closer. It seems like a lot, but isn't really.

As for me... Hi ladies! Life with the 2 little one is crazy hectic! Adalynn is almost 5 months already! And Saharrah turns 4 in April! I'm still BF'ing (although not exclusively, since she has a HUGE interest in whatever we're eating/drinking now), but this is, by far, the longest I've been able to go. Adalynn just rolled over for the first time Monday night. From back to belly. She's an old pro now. Already trying to scoot. Saharrah will start preschool this next school year. Other than that, we don't have too much going on here...yet!

We have similar are gaps in our family. My twin and I are 14 minutes apart, then the others are 2 years 4 months apart until the youngest who is 5 years younger (Mum has trouble conceiving the 6th). It's a great age gap.

Just wanted to say hello. Nothing to report here other than just had surgery for kidney stone removal. Large stone wouldn't pass on its own. It was so painful.
As for baby making. We pretty much have given up.
Hope all are well

I'm so sorry you feel you've reached the end of your TTC road I hope your recovery goes well from the surgery

Bad news I am afraid ladies I have been having weekly scans since 6 weeks but this pregnancy has not progressed and is no longer viable - that horrible term. Sadly I haven't yet miscarried so I just have to wait for my body to realise this pregnancy is over. It's been a bad day but cuddles with my boy have helped this evening.
Go give all your beautiful babies extra cuddles tonight ladies - we are so lucky to have them all xxx

(Sorry overly emotional post!)

I'm so sorry to hear this news, I had everything crossed for you. Nothing I can say but

________________________________________________________

Update:

This is the cycle I have been pregnant twice before. The ONLY cycle I have ever gotten pregnant. I think a lot of my stress was leading up to this cycle and how I'd always think 'what if' if I missed it.
I wrote a letter to my husband explaining as much and explaining how we'll manage with a couple of tight months and how I'd really love him to agree to trying just this one month so I'll know either way. I really didn't expect it, but he said yes! So this month we're TTC no2! If it doesn't work this month, I can see us carrying on, but if I don't get pregnant this month, I won't mind waiting until June as it's not far away. It was all about this month I realised.
So I'm temporarily (for now) TTC again, I'm excited but nervous and if I got pregnant when I've been ovulating the last few months, then I'll be due early December, which is when Isabelle was 2 years ago, my angel baby was 4 years ago and it's our birthday month too..so fingers crossed!

 

[NewToAllThis]

Good luck Grey. Glad your husband agreed to let you try. I'll keep everything crossed for you

 

[Amberyll23]

Milos--oh no hun, I am so so sorry. I echo what New has said, no words can ever help the pain. Just know we all understand and are here for you.

Love-- Been thinking of you, I hope you are recovering well from surgery. Sorry to hear you have stopped TTC, Im still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Nichole--Very glad to hear all is going well for you with your little ones, good job on being so successful at breastfeeding, and your little Adalynn sounds like she is fixing to be a mover and a shaker!

Grey--keeping my fx'd for you hun! I hope you are successful soon at getting Isabelle a little brother or sister!

Not much to report here, both my ladies are doing very well and growing fast! Hayleigh is trying to stand on her own now. Just like Grace did, she is not fond of trying to crawl (she rolls and back shimmies on the floor to get where she wants to go at the moment), she just wants to up and walk, so I expect that is exactly what she is going to do in the next month or two (Grace just up and walked at 10 months, so not long now!).

 

[neffie]

Milos - Sorry for your loss. Hope you get your sticky been soon!

Love - Huge to you. I can only imagine the heart ache you have gone through over the past couple of years. My thoughts are with you! Hope you are recovering well from your surgery. And I am still holding out hope that some day you will get your rainbow baby.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Alright ladies...sorry about the Debbie Downer post, but things seem to be going from bad to worse...went ahead and had an HSG done, and the tube on my ectopic side is blocked (the other tube is open). I'm about to ovulate in a couple of days, so they did an ultrasound to see which side has the dominant follicle, and of course I'm going to be ovulating (second cycle in a row!) from the bad side. I'm totally not being rational and practical here, but am I crazy to still want to TTC this month??

Since I also have a cyst on the ovary on my good side, the doc would prefer to get that removed so it doesn't affect the tissue on that ovary. Of course she has left the decision up to me, but she said that if I did the lap to remove the cyst, then she would suggest removing the bad tube as well. I am so lost, I can't even think straight right now. I know it is not an invasive procedure, but I have never had surgery before, and there is always the possibility of ending up with scar tissue on my good side.

Of course I don't want to risk another ectopic and risk my health, but not trying would just make things worse for me emotionally. Plus, surgery would mean being out of work for a week plus additional recovery time. Sounds crazy, but I don't want to be bothered with the inconvenience of all that right now...

Any advice would be welcome...and I really need some! There is no wrong answer and I will not be offended I promise! I'm just in a bad place right now, and I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. DH is of course very supportive, but I need someone else to vent to. :'(

 

[milosmum]

Hi Neffie, been out all day but I read your post this morning and wanted to come back with my little bit of advice.

When I had my ectopic i was told that the 'good' tube can sometimes swing around and pick up the egg from the other ovary. Much as this hasn't ever happened to me (I always get pregnant when ovulating from my right side which still has a tube) it means I TTC every month anyway. So - no you are not mad to want to TTC this month!
Surgery wise I had no choice my ectopic and left tube were removed surgically but I can tell you that I had some abdominal pain and bloating (from the air they pump into your belly during the procedure) for a few days. I had laparoscopic surgery so one wound in my belly button the other two low down on the right and left sides of my groin. Each was only about 1cm long and healed very quickly. I was given a sick note to be off work for 2 weeks but I was fit and well and bored to death so went back to work after one week!

If the doctor thinks having the cyst removed from your good ovary is the best treatment then I would go ahead with surgery as your best chance of conceiving is now from the 'good' side. As for the damaged tube - it is not going to work anymore so no point in it being there especially if there is a chance it could cause pain or problems in the future so I would have it removed at the same time.

There is a huge 'one tubers' thread on baby and bump in the TTC groups I think. I found it very supportive after my ectopic and when TTC Callum and there maybe some ladies on there who can offer more advice.

Hope that all helps xxx

 

[loveanurse1]

milo...so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you
Grey.. good luck
to everyone

going to plan a hysterectomy sometime this year. While dealing with kidney stone they found a 5cm cyst on what was left of my right ovary. I felt it, It's large and painful. I go to the ob/gyn next month, but it's over for me. if they take the ovary out, there is no point in keeping the uterus, so take the whole damn reproductive system out is my train of thought. useless uterus anyway without any ovaries to due its job..I think of you all often and wish you well.
God speed and best wishes

 

[Beanwood]

Milo I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so sad xx

 

[GreyGirl]

Alright ladies...sorry about the Debbie Downer post, but things seem to be going from bad to worse...went ahead and had an HSG done, and the tube on my ectopic side is blocked (the other tube is open). I'm about to ovulate in a couple of days, so they did an ultrasound to see which side has the dominant follicle, and of course I'm going to be ovulating (second cycle in a row!) from the bad side. I'm totally not being rational and practical here, but am I crazy to still want to TTC this month??

Since I also have a cyst on the ovary on my good side, the doc would prefer to get that removed so it doesn't affect the tissue on that ovary. Of course she has left the decision up to me, but she said that if I did the lap to remove the cyst, then she would suggest removing the bad tube as well. I am so lost, I can't even think straight right now. I know it is not an invasive procedure, but I have never had surgery before, and there is always the possibility of ending up with scar tissue on my good side.

Of course I don't want to risk another ectopic and risk my health, but not trying would just make things worse for me emotionally. Plus, surgery would mean being out of work for a week plus additional recovery time. Sounds crazy, but I don't want to be bothered with the inconvenience of all that right now...

Any advice would be welcome...and I really need some! There is no wrong answer and I will not be offended I promise! I'm just in a bad place right now, and I don't have anyone else to talk to about this. DH is of course very supportive, but I need someone else to vent to. :'(

Sorry for the delay in replying!
When I had my ectopic I lost my tube and they left both ovaries. I've been told it can swing over and pick up the egg. I would have it done and ovaries drilled or something. That's what worked for me last time. I had lap,dye and drill at the same time and next month was pregnant. My recovery time wasn't long at all and could have been back at work days later.

Hi Neffie, been out all day but I read your post this morning and wanted to come back with my little bit of advice.

When I had my ectopic i was told that the 'good' tube can sometimes swing around and pick up the egg from the other ovary. Much as this hasn't ever happened to me (I always get pregnant when ovulating from my right side which still has a tube) it means I TTC every month anyway. So - no you are not mad to want to TTC this month!
Surgery wise I had no choice my ectopic and left tube were removed surgically but I can tell you that I had some abdominal pain and bloating (from the air they pump into your belly during the procedure) for a few days. I had laparoscopic surgery so one wound in my belly button the other two low down on the right and left sides of my groin. Each was only about 1cm long and healed very quickly. I was given a sick note to be off work for 2 weeks but I was fit and well and bored to death so went back to work after one week!

If the doctor thinks having the cyst removed from your good ovary is the best treatment then I would go ahead with surgery as your best chance of conceiving is now from the 'good' side. As for the damaged tube - it is not going to work anymore so no point in it being there especially if there is a chance it could cause pain or problems in the future so I would have it removed at the same time.

There is a huge 'one tubers' thread on baby and bump in the TTC groups I think. I found it very supportive after my ectopic and when TTC Callum and there maybe some ladies on there who can offer more advice.

Hope that all helps xxx

I heard the same about the good side helping out. I hope it does do that Lots of people with one tube get pregnant. I'm hoping to beat the odds a second time

milo...so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you
Grey.. good luck
to everyone

going to plan a hysterectomy sometime this year. While dealing with kidney stone they found a 5cm cyst on what was left of my right ovary. I felt it, It's large and painful. I go to the ob/gyn next month, but it's over for me. if they take the ovary out, there is no point in keeping the uterus, so take the whole damn reproductive system out is my train of thought. useless uterus anyway without any ovaries to due its job..I think of you all often and wish you well.
God speed and best wishes

I'm so sorry that your journey may be over I know how long and how hard you've fought for another baby. I hope when the time comes you can find peace eventually

AFM:
I think I'm out this month My temp has come down and I'll be due af tomorrow. I know it's only been my first month trying and I shouldn't be gutted - but I am. I'd put a lot of pressure on this month as I've only ever been pregnant this cycle. I was LTTTC last time and I really don't want to be again Plus, it took an op and metformin to get pregnant last time, I don't know how long it would take before they give me that again. I feel like I'm going to either have a massive gap, or no second baby at all. Maybe I'm just hormonal
I hope some more of you have more luck this month