Femmes Fetales - (PAL) Holding onto Hope 9 months and on...

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HI Shell,I knoe exactly how frustrating that is, and I havent one the war here either but DH seems to try in spurts he will go almost a week without one and then cave again and he has cut back! He also still drinks on weekends which is equally annoying but again has cut back.. I dont ike it but I am hoping that after LO arrives it will be the push he needs. I know it sucks and it is hard to understand why they cant do this for us but I know I love hom and I woud not leave him over this so I cant give an utimatum or empty threats, like Amber said I remind him in subtle ways and hope .... when I confront him or am visibly angry it is definetly worse! I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I am sorry you have this stress right now :)
 
Aw Shell My dh does aswell but only when he has a drink. Trouble is he seems to be going in the garage a lot and doing it on an eveining at the moment. I haven't said anything and as the others say hoping that when baby here it will stop -we will be much to busy. At the moment I go up to bed with the boys and he is downstairs on his own so don't think that helps. I agree with the others though - I don't say anything as I know it will it cause an arguement. I smoked a little before myself (when I went out for a drink which wasn't very often) aswell so don't feel like I can say to much. It stinks aswell though. XX I am sure it will be sorted hun. XX
 
hey shell, sorry you two are having a bit of a rough time, its horrible when it feels like that, especially pregnant because we feel so much more vulnerable about things and everything is more likely to upset us. I used to socially smoke until I got pregnant first time (when out drinking etc) and my OH hated it, I stopped of course when I got my BFP but when I lost the baby I had a few lapses and then stopped again this time around and I really hope I'll never go back to it. when I did do it, even though I knew Neil wouldnt like it I wasnt sticking two fingers up at him or thinking "I dont care if you dont like it" I was just doing something I enjoyed, I didnt want to upset or hurt him even though I knew it probably did and I daresay your OH is the same, I doubt very much he wants to upset you and for non smokers its hard to understand but he probably just enjoys having a cigarette. I would also imagine as soon as bubba is here things will be more real to him and he wont want to anymore. I hope you manage to resolve things and you made up for his birthday xx
 
Thanks Bean and Kizzy :hugs:

We still havent made up :(
I do believe that he is just doing something he enjoys (rather than just trying to piss me off). But im so worried about how its will affect our family's health. Im especially worried, as its one of the leading causes of SIDS. When i tell OH this, he says its ok as long as he doesnt smoke in the house. He says im overreacting when i explain that the smoke and chemicals are carried on his breath, skin, hair, clothes, etc.
I have tried reasoning with him, calmy, but he ends up getting defensive and i end up crying. Ive said to him that if i have had to give up alcohol, certain foods, certain hobbies, my comfort and my figure....why cant he give up this one little thing? :shrug:

Part of me is tempted to back down and apologize (although i know im not in the wrong) just to get us talking again. i miss him so much. things are so awkward between us right now. i just want a kiss and cuddle :cry:
sorry ladies, i just feel so emotional right now. thanks for listening
xx
 
Aww honey, I dont like to think of you so upset, it's horrible, I do agree tho, you have given up so much for the baby it's not a lot to ask of them is it? The way my friend got her husband to give up when she was preg was to tell him that when baby comes each time he has a cigarette he will have to go and have a shower, wash his hair, brush his teeth and change his clothes before he will be allowed near the baby so he's not carrying any toxins, I think he knew it would be too much hassle and decided to give up instead!

I know what you mean about apologising to clear the air too as it'd not nice living in a bad atmosphere, maybe try talking to him later so you can at least have a conversation and not be awkward around each other. Big hugs xxx
 
Evening ladies!! Its been almost a month since I was last here how bad am I!!
My laptop had died so on my bb so can't go through all the posts I've missed!
I have seen your posts tho Shell, I'm sorry ur having a hard time and such a hard time in pregnancy!! My oh smokes as so did I untill january, he knows he has to wash and change his top before he will be allowed near baby, and won't be allowed nr baby till toxins have gone, but I can't critisize as I am a ex smoker and unfortunately I suspect when I have a drink after babys born I will probably have a cigarette, I know its a horrid habbit and I've stopped in every pregnancy and I've never smoked in our home I do enjoy a cigarette with a drink to relax! Hope u can sort it our asap!!

Sorry that I've missed so many posts and hope u ladies are all well!

AFM
I'm now almost 35 weeks..... And babys is still breech and laying wrong way either bk to from or other way round lol I knew she hadn't moved as I can feel her head!! Today midwife told me I needed a scan in a week or so time and then book for section for 38 weeks, I'm hoping to god she turns, I knew I may have to have section but it seems more real now and I'm scared of the post surgery pain and being unable to look after my baby and my kids etc.... I have refused a manual turning of baby as I've read up and heard some horrid stuff and with success of just 30-60% and a risk of a emergency section there and then, my oh is totally against it, so I'm turning to scrubbing the floor etc to try and move her!! Also dumb ass here booked a weekend away with oh and kids a week before baby due (stupid I know) but I wanted to spoil my babys! And if baby doesn't turn then I won't make it :-( also I've changed my mind about feeding and really want to feed her myself now, but this also may be difficult after section!! But as long as my baby arrives safely we will work around everthing else!!

Anyone else still breech,???? X
 
Evening ladies!! Its been almost a month since I was last here how bad am I!!
My laptop had died so on my bb so can't go through all the posts I've missed!
I have seen your posts tho Shell, I'm sorry ur having a hard time and such a hard time in pregnancy!! My oh smokes as so did I untill january, he knows he has to wash and change his top before he will be allowed near baby, and won't be allowed nr baby till toxins have gone, but I can't critisize as I am a ex smoker and unfortunately I suspect when I have a drink after babys born I will probably have a cigarette, I know its a horrid habbit and I've stopped in every pregnancy and I've never smoked in our home I do enjoy a cigarette with a drink to relax! Hope u can sort it our asap!!

Sorry that I've missed so many posts and hope u ladies are all well!

AFM
I'm now almost 35 weeks..... And babys is still breech and laying wrong way either bk to from or other way round lol I knew she hadn't moved as I can feel her head!! Today midwife told me I needed a scan in a week or so time and then book for section for 38 weeks, I'm hoping to god she turns, I knew I may have to have section but it seems more real now and I'm scared of the post surgery pain and being unable to look after my baby and my kids etc.... I have refused a manual turning of baby as I've read up and heard some horrid stuff and with success of just 30-60% and a risk of a emergency section there and then, my oh is totally against it, so I'm turning to scrubbing the floor etc to try and move her!! Also dumb ass here booked a weekend away with oh and kids a week before baby due (stupid I know) but I wanted to spoil my babys! And if baby doesn't turn then I won't make it :-( also I've changed my mind about feeding and really want to feed her myself now, but this also may be difficult after section!! But as long as my baby arrives safely we will work around everthing else!!

Anyone else still breech,???? X
 
Shell - So sorry that you and OH feel distanced from each other right now. I am sure he realizes that him smoking is not good for any of you, including little Bo...maybe he's just having a difficult time expressing that to you. Men can be complicated beings at times. Sorry I have no experience with the smoking aspect, so can't offer much advice there. But I'm sure it'll just be a matter of time before you guys patch things up. :hugs:

Grey - Your seat warmer is still very much on! Come over and take it off soon! :hugs:

Vix - Good to hear from you. Hope the little one turns around soon! If he/she does turn, will you be able to avoid a C-section, or have they told you that you'll need one for sure?

AFM, absolutely shattered from working non stop for the last 2 weeks. We have some of OH's family staying with us this week, so looking forward to spending some quality time with them this weekend. They bought us a few 'first' toys for Coco....so adorable! They were also in neutral colors, so that was great! Less than 2 weeks until we find out if Coco is a boy or a girl, eeeeek! Can't believe it's almost that time! :cloud9:

Have a great weekend everyone!

p.s. To all the stateside ladies - Stay stafe this weekend if you are in the hurricane zone!
 
Happy Friday Gals!

Neffie--Looking forward to hearing how your gender scan goes hun! And don't worry about having dreams of different baby sexes, I think our minds mess with us sometimes. You will also continue to have them, even after you find out little Coco's gender. A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that I went in for an ultrasound on Grace and the tech told me that I was carrying twin boys! Talk about wierd!! Glad you are finally getting some much needed R&R this weekend and hope you have an enjoyable visit with your family!

Lil--Happy 13 weeks hun and congrats on 2nd trimester! Definately a wonderful milestone!! :happydance:

milos--so glad you found a midwife you are happy with, that is so important. I also hope Squiggle is ok and turns out to be growing just fine at your u/s in 2 wks. Having just been through this myself with Grace, I know how worrying this can be. I will say extra prayers for you and Squiggle. :hugs: I also hope your heartburn is improving. I have suffered with it myself this past week or so, had to raid the tums and am trying so hard to avoid the ranitidine, but I may give in if this continues!

New--hope you are doing ok hun! let us know how you are feeling!

Bean--:hugs: on having to deal with such silly questions about whether you are hoping for a boy or girl. Some people just don't get it. We want healthy babies, each is a blessing!! As soon as we found out Grace was a girl, we started getting questions "so, I bet you are hoping the next will be a boy." Uh, hello, Grace isn't even here yet, let's focus on her please, thank you! And if we DO decide to have another, I will be happy with either! Silly people! :grr:

Grey--we are definitely keeping your seat warm hun and can't wait to have you with us!!! :hugs:

Vix--congrats on 35 weeks, madame! I really hope you can get your little one turned and that you can enjoy the vacation you have planned for you and the family!

Shell--hope things are looking up for you today with OH's smoking situation. Thinking of you. :hugs:

AFM: Not sure if you ladies saw my nursery pictures 2 pages back, but we are moving right along with it. We have some more furniture in there, a mobile, a lamp and some pictures ready to hang up! We are waiting for labor day weekend to hit some furniture stores for a rocking recliner. We also moved the crib to the other side of the room by the door (DH noticed the air vent was beside the crib on the long wall and he didn't want little Grace catchign cold!). My parents also brought down my cradle from when I was born, and we have that set up in our bedroom for those nights we want Grace close by--my mother even bought the matching bedding set for the cradle to match the crib! Miss Grace is already one spoiled little lady!!

Will add more pics as I get things finalized. DH is home late tonight, will be so happy to see him. The further along I get with this pregnancy the more anxious I get when he is away travelling. Fortunately he will not be doing ANY travelling in October! :thumbup:

Hope you ladies have a fabulous weekend!!
 
Amber - I knew I was forgetting something in my post. I forgot to post about your nursery. :dohh: Love the pics! Grace will be very comfy in there. Look forward to seeing more pictures.
 
Hi ladies sorry its been a few days again - work is just manic! Thankfully my replacement starts next week and I have 5 weeks to get her a bit more confident in taking over my place so hopefully that means I can put my feet up a little bit more soon!

Grand - we miss you xxx

Amber - thanks for your reassurance about Squiggle's size actually thinking about your recent scan and some friends who have had 'little' but perfectly healthy babies has been reassuring. Your nursery looks beautiful and I think you have wonderful taste cause your wall colour looks nearly identical to mine! x

Neffie - not long time your scan, i am so excited to see wait you will be having x

Vix - I hope bubs moves soon, are you trying special positions to sit and lie in to help move her? I have been looking into it a little since the midwife told me she isn't sure which way up squiggle is! Hope you manage to avoid a section.

New - my little Milo is my baby! I am trying to make him a bit tougher before baby arrives in October but I suspect he is going to be a bit jealous of the baby cause he is a proper mummies boy x

Shellney - sorry to hear about your fall out with DH. I hope you have sorted it out now honey. My DH smokes too and I hate it and have done ever since we met and he knows he is on a countdown now. I will not let him near baby if he is still smoking by october. Nagging won't work with him though I just have to wait for him to give up in his own time x

Kizzy - I have just caught up with the last few days posts and you had me very excited there for a few minutes! I hope baby is settling in and getting in position for arrival. How long til your due date? I get confused cause you don't have a ticker! Oops just realised I should just read the front page to find out x

Love to everyone else I missed out hope you are all well xxx
 
Hi ladies,
Well I survived my week in western Ireland, cold wet but we managed to have fun with the inlaws!!
It's been busy in here... I have read all your posts but please excuse me if I forget stiff!
Kizzy- nearly there hope you are feeling well xx

Neffie- 2 weeks! So exciting! When I was pregnant with C I just knew he was a boy. We didn't find out but I just knew x

Amber- your nursery looks amazing! Grace is a lucky girlie. I'm so pleased she is a good size too x

Shell- it can be so hard arguing with your oh- sending hugs xx

Hi to all xx

Afm- gender scan on Thursday!!! We are taking C to meet his little brother or sister! So excited!!
 
Vix not sure if you've looked into it or not. But I've heard the chiropractor can help to get baby turned? May be worth looking into...? I go every couple weeks and it helps any back discomfort I've been having also.

Mills & Amber I hear ya on the heartburn! I've been getting it latly also and tums don't seem to do much. But I keep trying them anyway.

Afm I survived my work week in Vegas. I managed to get to bed by 11 most nights so not too bad. Though I did sleep a full day and night upon my return. Lol Now I'm sitting in the lab doing my 3hr glucose test... Not so much fun. Then later this evening I get to see my little girl again! I have an ultrasound to check and see if my placenta has moved and I can have a vaginal delivery. Fingers crossed everything goes well!
 
Morning ladies, I hope this finds you all doing well!

Milos--I hope things are going well with training your replacement this week! Thanks for the comment on the nursery, I was really worried it would be too pink, but it really did come out a nice, soft pink that we absolutely love. DH even said I did a great job picking out the color! :thumbup:

Sparkle--glad you had a good time with the in-laws! Will be thinking of you Thursday with your Gender scan, so exciting that C will be with you!!

Imp--welcome back from Vegas!! Hope your glucose test comes back with good results for you and that your scan goes well! I hope the placenta has moved away for you. Also, be sure to post some pics if you get any!!

Hope the rest of you ladies are all doing well!

AFM: Not too much to report. I think I actually started to *TMI alert* "leak" from my breasts last night. I woke up for one of my many potty breaks to wetness under my right breast. I was like what in the world?! Then it hit me that I may be leaking! Has anyone else experienced this in their third trimester or heard of it happening? I immediately went into the bathroom and could not get anything out myself, so it was very bizarre! Anyways, probably need to start wearing something at night just in case it happens again!

We are going furniture shopping for our nursery chair this weekend. I think rather than the glider chairs, I'm going to go for a rocker/recliner so we can move it into the living room once we no longer need it with Grace. Wish us luck! I am hoping to snag one at a good Labor Day Sale at one of our local furniture stores!
 
Hey there Ladies :hi:
Sorry I have been MIA since last Thursday. But me and OH decided to go for a long weekend away together from Friday to Monday.
We went to the seaside (we live right in the middle of the UK, miles and miles away from the coast), and stayed in a lovely little B+B. We went to the sealife centre, to the harbour, to some cute little seaside villages, and to the horse races
It was lovely to be a couple again, with no work or home stresses. We talked things through, and really cleared the air. It was lovely to feel so close again.
Now we are back to reality, but I am hoping things will stay this good. We are painting the nursery this weekend, and will then start putting the furniture together, etc. We are both getting so excited for Bo's arrival!

Hope you all had good weekends, and are keeping well :hugs:
xx
 
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