Hi Heaveneats,
So sorry to hear about your news
I can certainly imagine that would feel discouraging
Maybe this will just confirm for your hubby that he wants a 3rd after all. And maybe if you both go into it thinking that the chances are low, that it would be that much more of a pleasant surprise if/when you see a BFP! I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope you end up with the family you've always wanted
I'm completely confused right now. I told my husband about what happened yesterday and he was practically speechless. I told him that I really wasn't sure what I wanted and that 95% of the time I feel completely secure in our plan to stick with two, but that there's always this quiet, nagging little voice that says otherwise.
I know what you mean about, "if you even have a small hint that your not done, your definitely not done"- I've heard that too and I've mentioned it to my husband before and he thinks it's silly
He basically thinks that if there are more cons to having another baby (financially, logistically, etc.) and you feel good about stopping where you are (most of the time), then you should stick with that and not let a "small feeling" take over.
He said that your post was probably just a coincidence and that if I "go looking for signs" then I'll somehow manage to find them anywhere. First of all, in my gut, it felt like more than just a little coincidence. I believe in God and I believe in signs and this felt like one. What are the odds that in the very moment that I happened to be thinking, "I really don't feel like I'm done. I feel like there's a 3rd child that's meant to be in our family" that I would get an email from BandB- about a thread from 2 years ago, talking about how you're going to try for baby #3. ??? The two things literally happened within seconds of each other.
I had a very visceral reaction at the time and had tears in my eyes- not tears of joy or sadness, just tears of overwhelming emotion- like God was trying to open my eyes and tell me something. It's hard to explain but I just felt something very strong in that moment. It stopped me dead in my tracks.
And just as a side note, I'm not even ovulating or anything. I'm 3 days into my period, so this doesn't feel like it's just hormonal. And again, it's not the first time it's happened.
But again, my husband thinks it's just a really strange coincidence and that I'm just reading into things because I want to. I then told him that, even if that's the case, doesn't it say something that I may be, in fact, "looking for signs"- maybe that's very telling of where my heart is, deep down. I don't know.
After discussing the subject again, he (not surprisingly) wasn't receptive to the idea of a third. I brought up the idea that maybe we could set a very short timeline, like 3 tries and if nothing happens, I can consider that my answer from God that it's not meant to be and we should stick with two. I think I'd rather do that than never try and always wonder what could have been. I don't want to feel that regret once it's too late and I think if we just left it up to God (for just a brief period), I would be able to feel more at peace with our family instead of feeling this inner turmoil 5% of the time.
I told him that I don't want to even consider another baby if he's not on board....I definitely would want it to be something we both want and are both excited about, so I asked him, flat out where he stood on the idea... he then said, "I just wish I could give you those 3 months of trying without the risk of actually getting pregnant....just so you could have that closure."
I guess that was my answer.
I felt my eyes tear up when he said that and I was surprised that I felt so strongly. It just kind of hit me hard and I felt sad. I don't know where to go from here. I'm just so confused. Everything that is logical and rational is telling me, "don't do it...life will be so much harder, so much more stressful, how could we afford another, etc." but that little piece of my heart keeps whispering that maybe, just maybe....there's one more baby that's meant for our family.
SO happy to hear Pedi! Congrats and H&H 9m! 
