Finally success after 5 years unexplained infertility

[ashknowsbest]

I just realized that I didn't update my own journal.

Yesterday was a crazy day.

I woke up to use the bathroom and when I laid back down in bed I had some leakage. It totally freaked me out because I had just emptied my bladder and when I smelled it (sorry TMI) it did not smell like urine so I called my doctor and the on call doctor advised me to go into L & D. So off my hubby and I went and it was really scary. I kept thinking that I may have my babies today if it's the worst case and I realized that I was totally not ready for them to be here yet. I love them very much and can't wait to meet them but I realized how nervous and scared I am so have to take care of these little humans .... it's a lot of pressure!

So, I get hooked up to the monitors, I'm having very mild uterine contractions (I can't even feel them but they're happening), both babies had great heart rates and were doing wonderful. They do a amniotic fluid test (they stick a qtip in your vagina to see if there is any amniotic fluid in there) which hurt like a bitch, don't know why .... and turns out it's not amniotic fluid so that was GREAT news. They get the doctor in the room, he basically tells me that I did the right thing by calling and coming in because at this point if it were to be my amniotic fluid they would induce and get the babies out because of risk of infection. But since that's not what's going on I'm discharged and get to go home.

Before I as discharged I start feeling like I have UTI coming on. It totally sucked and I mentioned this to the nurse before I signed the discharge papers. She tells me it's fine and that I should just go home and relax and that I'm probably just irritated from the test. Well, I go home, get into bed to take a nap and when I wake up I'm bleeding .... I was totally freaked out! I called the on call doctor at my OB again and he tells me to go in right away. So I get there, we get hooked up, everything with babies looks fine. I'm still having some bleeding (but only when I pee), they do a urinalysis to rule out UTI (it was negative), they did a trans vaginal ultrasound to check my cervical length (still 3.4), and they did a FFN which they didn't end up sending out since my cervix was showing no signs of shortening, and they also did a cervical swab to check for any cervical infection. Everything came back normal. So I was discharged, again told that if I started bleeding again to come back in and since I go home everything has been fine. It was really scary and honestly the biggest reality check of my life. I always wanted kids, and I am so excited to become a mother but being in the place where I will eventually (in 5 weeks max!) give birth was really eye opening. It made me nervous but excited, I realized that as "ready" as I felt with getting their room done and getting the house in order that I am in NO way ready. I cried and got emotional and I'm just hoping these emotions are all normal and that I'm not alone in them. I'm so happy though that I'm not in labor and that the babies are super healthy and my body seems to be doing everything it needs to to protect these little loves.

 

[CMo]

My god ash that sounds so scary! So glad you and the babies are ok! Hope they can hang on a little longer.

As for not being ready, I think that's a completely natural feeling. I only had one baby never mind twins and I felt exactly the same. Thought I was so organised then the closer my due day got the fear kicked in, every night I would go to bed and just pray to get through the night to give me another day to prepare myself. When it does happen though you'll be amazed how your body just takes over and you take everything in your stride! I'm looking at my wee one sleeping beside me and realise that I still don't really know what in doing but we get by just fine. You will be amazing and cope so well when the time comes. Hope you can relax and get some rest for now xx

 

[MoBaby]

Oh wow! What a day. I bet the bleeding was from the swab. If you ever have a cervical check you'll bleed too. So glad all is okay! Soon enough they will be here. You will never be ready even if you feel ready

 

[almosthere]

I was thinking same this as mobaby that the bleeding could have been from the swab as well.

so glad all is okay sounds like a very scarey stressful time for you.

as for being ready honestly I don't think anyone ever feels completely ready it's scarey and new and you just learn along the way you got this mama!

 

[wannabeprego]

I am so glad that everything was okay! I am sorry that you had such a scare! I hope your twins can keep cooking and you can make it for the next few weeks! The good news is that you have made it this far so even if the twins do come sooner than you would like they should do great! Good luck to you and the twins!

 

[ashknowsbest]

I'm so happy to hear that I'm not alone in my emotions. The drive to labor and delivery is going to be an emotional one, I can see it now. I am so exited though! I know it's early but I'm analyzing everything. Waiting for my mucus plug to start coming out (which is it not!). Trying to notice if I'm having contractions. I sort of feel like these little babies are gonna be like ... Uhm we like it in here we're not coming out until 38 weeks. And only because the doctor is making us. So crazy. I guess things could change so fast though.

Happy 33 weeks to my little loves. I'm feeling huge but surpringly not that uncomfortable. I will post a picture later. My fundus is measuring 41 weeks, that was about a week ago so I'm to the point where most singleton babies are born and I'm feeling it a bit. But my DH has been giving me a massage almost every single night and just really taking on a lot of the house tasks for me. He has been amazing and I owe him once I'm sort of back to normal. I don't have another appointment for a week which is driving me crazy (I love having appointments, it makes me feel like something it happening) but I'm feeling the babies move a lot still so I know all is still well. I also know that the babies are healthy and moving because they seem to love to grab/squeeze/jump on my cervix and sit under my rib ... Fun times.

I hope you are all well! And I'll keep you updated.

 

[ashknowsbest]

Here's the picture as promised. I picked a 29 week picture and a 33 so you girls could see the month worth of growth.

https://i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q625/akinner/29weeks_zpsc6cxak2j.jpg

https://i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q625/akinner/33weeks_zpsqzg89qv2.jpg

 

[MoBaby]

Your bump is cute!! You grew a lot the last month. I bet you're starting to get uncomfortable. Just a little more than a month to go!

 

[almosthere]

you look fantastic! I wouldn't know you were expecting twins either!

 

[froggyfrog]

You look awesome!!! You are all belly! Only a few more weeks left!

 

[ashknowsbest]

thank everyone!

Mo - Surprisingly I'm not that uncomfortable. I'm not having any back pain, and I'm actually sleeping much better than I was during the last half of the 20's. It's so weird but I'm not complaining. Its been really nice.

almost - I do not feel fantastic (looks wise), a lot of times I don't even get ready for the day. I just stay in my robe and make sure I'm eating on schedule (gestational diabetes) but thank you!

froggy - yes, agreed, all belly! I don't think I've gained a pound anywhere else. I am up a total of about 30-32lbs though which is great for twins! I will be happy when I get back to a normal size though. I never thought that weight would be the worst part of pregnancy but I think it is. It's so difficult to do things that were very easy to do before like walking .. lol.

 

[wannabeprego]

Happy 33 weeks hun! You look great! You are all baby! I can see how much your belly has grown from week to week by the pictures! I am so glad that you and the babies are doing great and feeling good!

 

[ashknowsbest]

How quickly the tides can shift ....

It's not devastating news although it feels like it but baby B (my little boy) has not grown much in the past 4 weeks. He went from being in the 67th percentile to being in the 18th percentile. We were at the appointment for 2 hours and after lots of scanning done by the doctor they've decided that they really don't know why Oliver stopped growing at the rate he was before but they did find something concerning. He has a vein near his placenta that is either within the placenta or on the outside connecting two sides. They tried to figure out what was going on by getting a 3D image, trying a million different things but they can't say for sure where it is but that it's concerning and doesn't look "normal". The doctor is extremely concerned that if I try for a vaginal birth that if the vein were to rupture that would put a huge strain on Oliver and he might not make it through the delivery. They are starting bi-weekly NSTs and I am having a planned c-section for sometime in the 37th week. We haven't scheduled that yet, we have to wait to hear back from our OB ... So, I'm in shock but I'm also sort of excited to meet them, I'm also extremely worried about them.

The good news:
Lucy weighs 6lbs, Oliver weighs 4lb11oz. They both are moving a lot and practicing their breathing.

I love them so much and am incredibly worried about Oliver now but trying to trust the doctors and just make sure I'm being aware of their movements. If I feel Oliver not moving I will be going to L & D immediately.

Please send best wishes.

 

[Twag]

Sending lots of best wishes for Oliver

 

[wannabeprego]

@Ash, I will keep you and the twins in my thoughts and prayers! Big huge hugs to you!

I remember at the end of my pregnancy when DS started to have problems I got admitted into the hospital for almost a week. I had heart monitors on me 24/7 to track the twins heart beats and I went in for daily ultrasounds to watch DS's heart well I was in the hospital. DS fell behind on his growth also because they thought his placenta was failing, his heart started to have fluid in it and it was working way to hard. They let me go for as long as they thought they could and the second they saw a change with my DS I had my c-section scheduled. They also gave me steroid injections and something else, I can't remember but it was to help with the twin's lung development because we knew they were coming early. Did they have you do this since your pregnancy is high risk carrying twins? If not than maybe you should ask about getting the injections done?

I am sorry if I am scaring you, because that is not my intention, but I am surprised that they don't want to keep you inpatient to watch you closer and monitor you daily since there has been sudden changes with OLiver. Of course I wasn't there when they did your ultrasound, I am assuming that other than his growth slowing down that everything else looked okay? It just makes me nervous since you have said he was keeping up with his sister this entire time with growth? I know you said there was a vein or something going on with his placenta maybe?

As far as C-section vrs vaginal birth all that matters is that the twins arrive safely! I remember having this fairy tail image of what it was all going to be like but at the end I just was thankful they both arrived safely and were healthy! To be honest with you I was terrified of a vaginal birth with twins. I was worried about how baby B would do well waiting on Baby A to arrive. If you have any questions about a C-section than feel free to ask if that is the route they decide to have you go for delivery.

On the bright side even if you have to deliver now the twins should do great since they are both decent size. My DD was 2lbs 4.8 oz and basically healthy, the NICU was a breeze for her and she never had any issues. My DS had a lot of problems because he was so tiny when he was born, at 1lb 4.8 oz. Those extra pounds make a huge difference as far as the NICU experience is concerned. What level NICU do you have at your hospital? I was very lucky to have a level 3 NICU at my local hospital since it is the highest level of care offered.

Like I said I am not trying to make you nervous but I wanted to share my story with you, I would rather have you be overly cautious and make sure your twins arrive safely than god forbid anything goes wrong! The minute you feel worried ask to be admitted inpatient, listen to your Mommy instincts, never doubt yourself for a second!

 

[ashknowsbest]

thanks wanna

They didn't recommend starting the steroid shots. I didn't ask about this (I think I was like ... in shock a little bit) and think maybe I should call back and at least ask. I don't think they're that concerned about the breathing because while they were checking out the placenta they actually did a manual NST basically and watched for their breathing and both were breathing great and moving a lot. I don't know since I am 34 weeks along if steroids shots is something they would do at this point? I don't know but it's a good suggestion. I may have my husband call and ask. I don't think I'm in any place to call right now emotionally.

And yea that's the tricky part, he looks totally normal except for his growth. They did see tiny calcifications around his liver but said that a lot of times that means nothing but they are going to test me for some sort of infection. That the the least of the doctors concerns! I thought about asking to be an inpatient but I'm really not sure there's any reason for it right now since he did pass his NST. It's the time in between the NSTs that scare me though.

We have a level 3 nicu at our hospital, it was the top priority when we chose where to give birth. I know they'd be fine if they came out now but that they would need NICU time and I asked the doctor if it would be better to take them out sooner than to leave them in but he really thinks that as long as everything is going well with the NSTs he doesn't want to take them out too soon. He said it's a fine line.

 

[wannabeprego]

I just wanted to add that if you have any questions about the NICU at any time than don't hesitate to ask me anything, either PM on here or FB!

 

[almosthere]

that is scarey but 4lbs is still good hopefully they are being overly cautious and all is okay! sending well wishes and prayers to your sweet Lucy and Oliver you and your husband! 3 weeks to go for you so soon!

 

[wannabeprego]

thanks wanna

They didn't recommend starting the steroid shots. I didn't ask about this (I think I was like ... in shock a little bit) and think maybe I should call back and at least ask. I don't think they're that concerned about the breathing because while they were checking out the placenta they actually did a manual NST basically and watched for their breathing and both were breathing great and moving a lot. I don't know since I am 34 weeks along if steroids shots is something they would do at this point? I don't know but it's a good suggestion. I may have my husband call and ask. I don't think I'm in any place to call right now emotionally.

And yea that's the tricky part, he looks totally normal except for his growth. They did see tiny calcifications around his liver but said that a lot of times that means nothing but they are going to test me for some sort of infection. That the the least of the doctors concerns! I thought about asking to be an inpatient but I'm really not sure there's any reason for it right now since he did pass his NST. It's the time in between the NSTs that scare me though.

We have a level 3 nicu at our hospital, it was the top priority when we chose where to give birth. I know they'd be fine if they came out now but that they would need NICU time and I asked the doctor if it would be better to take them out sooner than to leave them in but he really thinks that as long as everything is going well with the NSTs he doesn't want to take them out too soon. He said it's a fine line.

I am glad that Oliver looks healthy otherwise! I know it is normal for twins to have one be smaller than the other with their growth. I just got nervous for you since he has kept up with growth up until now. The biweekly scans makes me nervous also for you, and that time in between is long since you are so close to the end now. Well if anything feels even slightly off than go to the hospital and make them admit you! Even if you need to stretch the truth a little, if you know what I mean so they will admit you!!!!

As far as the liver calcifications, I understand what they mean, since with my DS even though it looked like he had fluid around his heart and it was working really hard well he was in my tummy,when he arrived his heart was totally normal! Thank goodness! I know the ultrasounds can only tell so much and some issues are corrected once baby arrives!

DD spent 2 months in the NICU and DS spent 4 months in the NICU and I saw so many things well we were in there! The larger babies were in and out of the NICU so fast! Yor twins are going to do just great! That is wonderful that you have a level 4 NICU so they will get the best care possible! Try not to worry even though I know how scary this time is right now! Big hugs to you! I will keep you and the twins in my thoughts and prayers!!!!

 

[MoBaby]

Man how scary! I'm glad they noticed it though. A c section isn't too bad but I have no experience with c section and twins. Just get close skin to skin ASAP and horse both in recovery. If they go to nicu demand a breast pump as soon as possible. And hope they don't need to be there.
My ds1 was a 37 weeker and he did great. My 36 weeker did not as you know so I think if it's 37 weekish you'll do fine. I was never offered steroids with either and we had a planned c section.
Although this isn't what you planned you do have 3 weeks to come to terms with what is best vs something unexpected happening. The reality is most twins are c section.
I wonder what they are seeing? Will be exciting to hear your delivery report and to see if it's any thing.

Try to avoid nicu at all costs. It sucks totally. It's destroyed my breastfeeding bond and im still completely heartbroken over that. I've tried to fix it over past 6 weeks and not happening. I don't have much more in me to pump around the clock.