Finally success after 5 years unexplained infertility

[ashknowsbest]

Finally getting a chance to update. Keeping it short though as I should really rest. Babes are here. Nobody needed nicu time. Oliver was a little jaundiced yesterday so he's been under the lights for about 24 hours and we're hoping for a fast recovery so we can cuddle and love on him more. Lucy is a champ (chunky be beautiful) and she has been with us the whole time. I'm adjusting to motherhood slowly. I do love it but it has definitely been causing me some anxiety and also a feeling of not being good enough. I am breastfeeding but we are supplementing with formula because they are losing weight but doctors assure me it's normal and that we should start seeing a weight increase slowly but soon.

Thanks for all the well wishes. We are in love and are just trying to cope with being a family of 4 ... 5 including our puppy who I miss so much. We are scheduled for a discharge tomorrow but I'm really hoping to move it up to today.

 

[MoBaby]

Great update!!! Yay!
The formula supplement is fine if losing weight and for the jaundice. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it but anytime the babies get a bottle you should pump 15 mins or so to let your body know they need more. It will keep your supply up. I'm so glad they didn't need nicu time!! Heal up. Adjusting is hard with 1 can't imagine 2.

 

[bubumaci]

Wonderful to hear from you - and yes, rest up.
It is very normal for babies to first lose weight when they are born, before they start gaining. So don't let that worry you. (I'm not quite sure what the numbers are for earlier born babies, but at full term, they say up to 10% of the birth weight is normal and OK).

All the best settling in together as a family of 4 / 5. And try not to pressure yourself. It is all a huge adjustment and you have been waiting for so long. You will be fine, but don't hesitate to ask people for help! xoxo

 

[Twag]

Huge congratulations and I echo what the other ladies have said - you've got this

 

[nicijones]

Massive congrats on your wonderful family!!!!! Ditto what was said earlier!
Looking forward to seeing some pics
Xxxx

 

[almosthere]

ash great news sorry to hear Oliver has a bit of jaundice. you can do this mama rest and heal up and enjoy your new family!

 

[wannabeprego]

Wonderful update! So glad that you and the twins are doing good! I hope you guys are all home now and doing well! Please don't hesitate to PM me or ask any questions on here about keeping up with the twins! Having twins and being a new Mommy is a huge adjustment but eventually you will get into a groove and be comfortable with everything. It takes time but it gets easier as they grow!

I just realized that when I posted some advice earlier that you probably never got a chance to read it since you were already in the hospital delivering, but I hope it was helpful! I hope you, DH and the twins are having a wonderful weekend!

 

[MoBaby]

Hope you have transitioned home now. How was the first night home?

 

[almosthere]

hope all is going well with your twins you and dh!

 

[ashknowsbest]

Hey everyone! I have not even had a chance to sit down really until now. Things are moving along pretty nicely I think. I was able to convince the pediatrician to let us out of the hospital one day sooner than they wanted to since the babies passed all of their tests (car seat trial, jaundice test, etc.). We were discharged Friday instead of Saturday which was really nice because being in the hospital was causing me a TON of stress. Too many nurses in and out of the room, each offering different advice on what is best to do with the babies .. it was very annoying. I was and am happy to be home but it is so much work. I totally underestimated the amount of time it would take to care for premature (and I'm sure even term) babies! They have to eat every 2 - 2.5 hours. And it takes about an hour to feed since they're still trying to learn how to suck, swallow, and breath all at the same time. So we're not really getting much sleep and I'm dealing with wicked mood swings. Also, a horrible case of PUPPS. I am miserable! Itching like crazy and just finding it very hard to concentrate on anything but the itching when it picks up. I have a doctor coming to the house today to take a look and maybe prescribe me a steroid to help until it clears up but I want to make sure that whatever they give me is safe for breastfeeding.

Unfortunately I'm no longer breastfeeding primarily (I am for bonding and snack times). The babies weren't gaining weight to the doctor told us to pump the breastmilk and then supplement with formula until my milk supply comes in. He didn't tell us as much as recommend but I thought it was a good recommendation because I need (for my own sanity) to know that they're getting enough food. I'm able to pump about 60ml right now total every hour and a half. Is that good? How long did it take for your milk supply to increase? And is pumping every hour and a half going to increase my supply even though the babies aren't at the breast? Any advice is greatly appreciated! I was incredibly bummed out when I had to give them formula but I am happy to announce that they are gaining weight now and are getting better at feeding ... already.

I am so in love with them but every single day around 6pm I get a little sad but it only lasts an hour to 2 hours. I wish I didn't experience this at all but it is what it is. My mother and DH have been amazingly supportive and I'm just trying to adjust to my new life. It has been crazy!

I hope you are all well! I will update when I can but I'm just so busy so no promises.

 

[almosthere]

make sure your husband and mom know about your sadness never be afraid to tell you dr as well and get the help you need in case it turns into post part um depression.

so glad all is going well lots of hard work I'm sure enjoy your babies!

 

[MoBaby]

Keep pumping!! It will go up. Your milk is just starting to come in. 60 ml is great for how many days pp you are.make sure you pump at least 20 if not 30 minutes each time. I don't know how your supply will respond to the pump but mine has steadily dropped since getting an all time high of 31ounces and now I get 23-24. I supplement with formula because my little guy eats sooo much food. Today I'm showing a drop again so I'll be weaning soon. I'm on a FB page for moms who only pump and many maintain supply for a long long time so only time will tell. If you have the time, help and sanity pump every 2 hours with a 3-4 hr stretch at night so you can get a little rest.
For a real boost you should nurse, pump and supplement when you pump. But that takes a long time with twins so just do what you can!! A healthy mom and babies is what matters more than how they eat. You are amazing for doing whatever you can. The LC told me that babies born before their due date take time to learn to nurse properly, like u too 1-2 weeks past their due date.so in a few weeks they may be able to nurse like champs if you decide to continue.these these several weeks are super difficult! Do you have help? Def tell someone about the sadness. It can turn Into much much more. Call your ob if you need to.

 

[ashknowsbest]

Thanks girls

I definitely talk to my mom and dh about my emotions. They've been great. Today I didn't experience much sadness. Hopefully my hormones are starting to chill out.

 

[ClandestineTX]

I was just reading an article about increasing milk supply while pumping and it said to have them nurse first, then pump out whatever you can afterwards (my doula suggested pumping for five minutes as a primer, then nursing until they quit, then pumping until there's nothing left) - also to try more frequent, shorter pumping sessions (15 minutes every hour, versus 30 minutes every two).

I can't imagine juggling two at once, definitely not for the faint of heart! I'm sorry you are having some issues with emotions, but very good for you to be aware and open to discussing it. This too shall pass!

 

[ashknowsbest]

Things are going well at our household. Finally. We're having some eating issues with Lucy but they are slowly being resolved.

On the post partum hormone front I am doing so much better. I haven't had a motherhood meltdown in 2 days and I think I am finally adjusted to accepting the sleep deprivation and ability to not do anything I used to do on my own time.

Lucy eating:
She is such a sleep baby. And when I say sleep baby I don't mean she sleeps a lot when she's not being stimulated. She sleeps through being stimulated and it has made it extremely difficult to make sure she gets enough calories to start gaining weight. She had been losing weight then she started gaining and yesterday we found out she plateaued. We think part of the problem is that Lucy has a very strong suck so when we gave her the bottle she would suck so hard but the flow of the nipple (even though we are using level 1 flow) was too much and she would choke and spit it up. We went down to a premie level nipple and she is doing much better with that it it's still very hard to get her to eat the proper amount because she is so sleepy. We have tried everything. Waking her up slowly, using a wet washcloth to dab her face to take her up. If anyone has any other suggestions I'm all for it. At least now with the premie nipple she is not spitting up as much so we know she's getting more of what we're measuring out for her but my gosh. It is hard to get that girl to stay awake. The bright side is that she will do amazing at her newborn photo shoot that we're having on Friday.

Oliver eating:
He is doing great. Yesterday at their weight check he had gained more weight. He is now at 4lbs7oz and almost to his birth weight. He gained 1.5 oz per day. The doctor was happy with that. He is using the level 1 nipple and really seems to have the suck/swallow/breathe reflexes sorted out. At least better than Lucy at this point. I am proud especially since he is my smaller baby. He does get soee but I've already noticed changes in him like before he never used to cry for anything (except if he was irritated). Now though, he cries when he's hungry!

Breastfeeding and pumping:
I called anlacttaion consultant that my friend used and who is covered by our insurance and she is coming out in Saturday to the house to evaluate latch, answer any questions I may have about pumping and nursing and to figure out a schedule that will work with our lifestyle. She did give me some pointers when we spoke over the phone the other day and they have been helping immensely. Currently the schedule is Feed them the breatmilk I have through a bottle that I pumped from the previous session, then supplement with formula, then nurse 1 baby in both breasts, then pump for 15-20 minutes. It takes a lot of time and it's mostly during the day that I nurse but it has been working. I don't nurse at night only so I can get some rest. If I nursed at night I literally would not get any sleep. The LC said this is totally acceptable and that it's so important to get rest. With this plan I'm getting about 60-80ml/pumping session and sometimes I get lucky and get more. I got 110ml yesterday in 1 session. I'm feeling more competent, loving, and just overall in a better mood.

Hope you're all doing well!!

 

[MoBaby]

Ash that is a great plan! That's basically what I was supposed to do but with no help and pumping 10x per day it was too hard. But I'm kinda mad at myself for not sticking with it. You're going great trying with twins!
At night: I recommend pumping once during middle of night until they are 12 weeks old. But between 1-5 am prolactin is the highest so pump once for 30 mins or so say like at 3-4am. This will also allow you to start making more milk. That's fine you think you can mentally handle it because it's taxing and with 2 I know you're more sleep deprived than others. More important is a happy mom so if your current schedule works and you're okay with it then do that. I still wake up at 12 am and 4 am to pump but thankfully my hubs does the bottle feeding when baby wakes up so we each get equal sleep. Keep up the hard work!!! Let us know how lactation goes.
Your milk will continue to increase if you keep up too. 110ml after nursing is fantastic!

 

[MoBaby]

How did the lactation visit go? Hope things are getting a little easier.

 

[ashknowsbest]

Lactation visit went well. I got some advice and we have a plan moving forward. I'm still not nursing primarily but the babies are still very sleepy and will nurse actively for about 10 minutes and then fall asleep on the breast. So, we are nursing each baby for 10 minutes minimum and then I pump after. And we're doing that most times they need to eat but at night sometimes we don't nurse them just because we need sleep too.

They had their 2 week appointment and each baby was gaining weight. Lucy has reached her birth weight and Oliver has exceeded his birth weight by 7 ounces. I'm happy they're gaining weight. I wish Lucy would start picking up in her weight gain a little more but the doctor was very happy with their progress. We go back in another 2 weeks for their 1 month checkup.

Emotions are pretty much under control but I am really sad about not having alone time with my husband. I love him so much and we have such an amazing friendship/relationship and I'm just sad that I haven't had time to really spend with him. Maybe I'm being a baby but I really just miss him so much. Even though we're together all the time it's not like we're actively spending time together. We're just up taking care of the babies and not giving each other affection. I think from here on out that's going to be the hardest adjustment. We'll try to find time for each other but we'll have to see how it goes. My husbands cousin is here helping us right now and she's actually going to watch the babies tonight for about 45 minutes so my DH and I can go out and have a glass of wine at a local restaurant together. It will be nice to get even a little alone time with him.

I hope you're all doing good!

 

[wannabeprego]

I am glad that you guys are all getting settled in and you are finding your rhythm. That is great that the lactation consultation helped you come up with a plan to manage breast feeding with the twins. That is great they are gaining weight! It is a big adjustment going from being just the two of you to a family of four! Eventually you guys will get used to it and it will become your new normal. Soon you guys won't remember what it was like when it was just the two of you because you will be so used to it being the 4 of you! I remember how hard it was when the twins were little and what a big adjusment it was being a new Mom to 2!! I remember feeling sad also, because things weren't the way i imagined them to be, from the birth experience to the NICU stay, on top of the sleep deprivation! I thought I would be happier right out the gate because of how bad I wanted to be a Mom, and how hard it was to achieve that with the infertility etc.!! Of course I loved my twins, and I always did, but it was just so different from the way things were before. DD was gassy/fussy and DS also had problems feeding. I am not sure how much of those emotions were hormones, or mourning the loss of how I thought things were going to be?? I think tv paints this fairy tale fantasy of what it is like to be a new Mom, and well it just isn't like that! The good news is that eventually the twins will be on regular sleep schedule, when they reach 4 months and can start eating baby food it will get a lot easier, because they can go longer in between feedings. So what I am saying is that it does get easier, you get to know your babies and they get to know you. You figure out ways to manage them both on your own, and you will find a balance with the twins and you and DH!!! It will all fall into place and get easier! Just hang in there!!

 

[MoBaby]

Glad things are going well ash and you're getting out tonight. We haven't been out alone yet since ds2 was born. I can also count on one hand the number of times we've been alone since ds1 was born. But we did get away when I was preggo with 2 for 3 nights just is 2. That was hard since we had never left kid alone before. I would like to get out more but it's just so hard. I feel you on being close. I'll admit since the whole IF journey me and dh have been far from close, mostly on my account. Our baby is still in the room (bed) but hopefully we can move him soon when he is sleeping better and work on things. Adjusting to taking care of tiny people is hard work and you are doing great!! Wannabe is right- around 4 months it gets easier. I keep telling people I can't wait until 4 months is here. It's like head and body control, food can start, they sleep better, and are more interactive. I can't believe 2 weeks are past already! Enjoy your wine!! I've also heard drinking dark beer helps with breast milk although when I tried I drank 2 sips of beer and couldn't do it so if you want to try that when you're out too!!