First IVF with PGD soon. Anyone else?

[Sophie2015]

Nolimitxox- I'm so sorry. Have you decided what you are going to do and what protocol you'll choose?

 

[BronteForever]

May I ask why they didn't do the biopsy for the PGD testing on Day 5. Everything I've read says if they are to the blastocyst stage they can be tested. Very few make it past that while in a laboratory setting. I'm curious why they were waiting until day 6 then if they were already at blastocyst stage.

Will you get a further follow up with them?

Only you and your husband can decide if it's worth it to you to move forward more. I wish you luck as you attempt to make the very challenging decision.

 

[Sophie2015]

Bronte- I'm not sure. Apparently it's protocol for them to biopsy on day 6. Still can't shake the feeling they were healthy.
There is no further follow up scheduled and if we decide to move forward with another IVF I feel like we'll have the same outcome.

 

[BronteForever]

Well that sucks. I know some of them take until Day 6 to make it to Blastocyst but that seems odd if they were already blastocyst stage of why they didn't biopsy. You will always second guess all of your decisions during this process when you don't have the outcome you are hoping for. Really hope you can move past it.

And I feel like I'm going to have the same outcome too and if we hadn't prepaid for two cycles, I'm not sure if I would have gone through with another chance or not.

But do remember that for many people it takes multiple rounds.

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, it sounds like there was a good chance for that cycle. Does your dr think you have a good chance next time.

Afm, we went for an IVF consultation and was all set to start Jan and then had unprotected sex twice (which I know I shouldn't have done as I fall pregnant at the drop of a hat). Two days later OH's DNA fragmentation came back as 49% (so hasn't improved since my last MC when it was 44%), I am 4&1 and terrified of another MC (in fact mentally trying to prepare myself for it

If I have an MC I am leaving OH and trying to meet someone else. He doesn't want kids and already has 2 from a previous relationship and one DD with me. He is just wasting my time and pretending MCs have nothing to do with him and some unexplained reason.

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi Sweetkat. Your situation sounds very difficult. I hope 2017 brings you that baby you so desperately want.

AFM, my RE wants us to try one more IVF. We elected to take December off to think about things. If we move forward it will likely be February before we start. I asked about DE IVF- although I'm not sure I want that- RE feels I'd be pregnant without any trouble using DE but I really want my biological child and we can only afford one more IVF. We can't afford another IVF plus a DE IVF. I wish we could.
We left our home state for a Xmas week at the beach. Maybe we'll just conceive while we're here. FX'd!!

 

[Nolimitxox]

Hey Sophie!


Hope youre having a lovely Christmas at the beach! Sounds like just what you two needed!

I can't for sure say what to do about DE - you know I'm in this exact situation. Having to think honestly about that option is a real grieving process....I know comfortably right now that I can cycle again with my doctor for my eggs, and if I want to pursue donor after I can...I don't know if I only had one more IVF left that I would choose a less "guaranteed" outcome or not. I'm struggling just considering donor.

Heres a message from a clinic that I used to go to regarding my inquirey on donor eggs

I am sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time of trying to get pregnant. At this point, given all that you have gone through, I would recommend donor egg. This will give you the best chance of pregnancy. I find that most women have a very difficult time coming to terms with this option, but for the many who I have cared for over the years who have families through donor egg, the overwhelming comment I hear is that they wish they had utilized this option sooner and can't imagine not having the child they ultimately conceived. Please let me know if you would like us to meet to discuss this option.
Dr. Schoolcraft may recommend another cycle with your own eggs, and will likely recommend genetic screening of the embryos. I feel that this is an expensive option with a small chance of success. I would be happy to discuss this further. Let me know if you would like my office to reach out to you to schedule an appointment. (name taken out) our egg donor coordinator. She can tell you about our program and our donors. I personally select all of the donors in our program after they have had an extensive evaluation which looks at their ovarian reserve, genetic background and psychological as well as family history evaluation. Only a small percentage (under 5%) of donors who apply are ultimately selected, leading us to have stellar success rates with our lovely young donors. Let's plan on meeting once you have had a chance to touch base with (name taken out). Her extension is 224, and I am copying her on this email.

Its a lot to think about. And I guess the best thing I can say is to do what I am doing. Ive applied to IVF refund programs, I've spent a few hours on the phones with different insurance carriers to talk about out of state cycling, grants, the cost of donor eggs, a few different clinics that I like including the one I'm at now and how their programs work, how much they cost, and whats involved...the more I talk about this the more people in this situation I see recommending just going donor embryo and how it's half the cost. It's just....a lot.

 

[BronteForever]

If you are open to it there's also a possibility of donor embryos and I believe that is a cheaper route.

We have considered that as well but none of this stuff is easy.

Strangely I'd rather have the child biologically neither my husbands or mine than just one of us so I would prefer that route if needed but we have decided to go towards adoption if the next cycle fails.

It's so hard and such a tough decision. I don't envy you or anyone else that has to make it.

Hugs.

 

[Sophie2015]

Thank you to both of you! I'm really unsure. I have no trouble conceiving. No trouble staying pregnant, even with a non-viable or deceased fetus. So my RE feels I'd carry a healthy baby easily.
DE IVF is substantially more expensive for us though. 10-15k more expensive. Our insurance will cover approx half of IVF but ZERO of DE IVF. We will pay completely OPP for DE IVF.
It makes the decision even harder. Plus knowing that child will not be like me at all.
While at the beach my DH pointed out a teenage daughter and her mom as they walked away from us towards the water and said "they look exactly alike even from behind" and my first thought was 'no one will ever say that about me if we use DE'.
Plus I'm 44 now. We started this when I turned 41. Maybe it's time to just give up. 😕

 

[Sophie2015]

Bronte- I think I'd be more open to DE if DH would agree to donor sperm. But he won't. He wants his biological child if given the chance although he understands my hesitation with DE. So I totally hear you on the all or nothing feeling of either biologically both yours or not at all.

Nolimitxox- I feel like you are soooo young. I think it's early to move to DE. I wish I had your youth on my side although I know it doesn't make the struggle easier. It's def harder when you realize your time is up and you never got beyond the struggle.

 

[Nolimitxox]

Thank you to both of you! I'm really unsure. I have no trouble conceiving. No trouble staying pregnant, even with a non-viable or deceased fetus. So my RE feels I'd carry a healthy baby easily.
DE IVF is substantially more expensive for us though. 10-15k more expensive. Our insurance will cover approx half of IVF but ZERO of DE IVF. We will pay completely OPP for DE IVF.
It makes the decision even harder. Plus knowing that child will not be like me at all.
While at the beach my DH pointed out a teenage daughter and her mom as they walked away from us towards the water and said "they look exactly alike even from behind" and my first thought was 'no one will ever say that about me if we use DE'.
Plus I'm 44 now. We started this when I turned 41. Maybe it's time to just give up. 😕

This is/was actually one of my biggest fears too. I want my child to be biologically mine...I started asking questions on other boards and really researching the topic and I found a lot of concrete evidence that DE babies DO look their mothers because their mothers have provided their DNA and genetics as the building blocks of life through the one cell the donor provided.

Read about it here

And herrreee

Here too

Those are just preliminary studies too, but the fact remains the same (and mind blowing) that carriers of donor eggs pass along, influence, and affect their babies genetics And even if this becomes a reality for me or not, science is pretty damn cool

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, how are you doing? I have decided to go for IVF with PGD. Going for an ovarian reserve test as soon as my cycle stars (needs to be between days 2 and 5).

Fingers crossed it helps

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi Sweetkat. I hope it works for you!!!

I'm ok I guess. Had a consult for Monday with my RE but cancelled it. Still can't decide between IVF or DE IVF. Both are super expensive for us but DE IVF even more so. Plus I'm told there's a 3-6 month waiting period for an egg. If it worked I'd be 45 and delivering. That just seems too old to me. Crazy that we started this journey almost 3.5 years ago. And today when I cancelled my appointment for Monday it felt like our dream died without any real closure. Like it just faded away and DH and I disappeared, never to be heard from again. 😕

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, it must be so hard to decide. Could you try own eggs and then donor eggs if it doesn't work?? Or is that too expensive?

All of my friends are pregnant or giving birth. Al having second, third and fourth babies. Some of them in their 40s too, so it should work for us.

If my ovarian reserve test is normal, then I guess my OH's sperm is the main issue and hopefully IMSI can solve that? It's just that 3 MCS and a chemical is a lot

45 isn't too old by the way. My OH was 49 when DD was born and I never thought he was too old.

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- We def can't afford to do both. IVF will cost us 20k plus another 5-7k for drugs. DE IVF will cost us 24-30k. It would take all our savings to do both. DH and I have no one but each other. No family. No real friends. No one who would help us if we used our entire emergency fund and then had an emergency. So we have to be financially smart about this. At the moment we aren't doing anything. And we probably won't.

 

[mimi4]

Sophie2015- I am sorry. But I think you might want to do more own research on ivf clinics abroad. I know a few ladies who have undergone ivf/ ivf de/ivf pgs ngs at overseas clinics, and they paid a fraction of what they would pay in the UK or the US. The ivf with pgd ngs (meds included) costs from EUR5000 at top Polish ivf clinic in Gdansk. Similar prices are offered by clinics in Czech, higher but still affordable prices are offered by Spain and Cyprus. You might visit fertilityfriends co uk, and you would find lots of international threads with comments and reviews on top-quality ivf/ivf de/ivf pgs ngs treatment for a low cost. Hope this helps. xx

 

[Sophie2015]

Thanks Mimi but we won't go abroad. That sounds like more hassle than it's worth to me. Not to mention the cost of getting there.
It's just not meant to be. We'll prob just get a puppy. 😂😂

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, have a look at this article, basically says that IVF is not a science and most procedures not evidence based.

Soooo, just because your Ivf didn't work it means nothing - another IVF or natural trying could work! They are saying ovarian reserve testing, ICSI, IMSI, Pgd, DNa fragmentation which I have done 4 times all basically not supported by evidence.

We will try IVF, but look at the lady in the article who got pregnant naturally at 47 after years of failed IVFs!!!!

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.da...y-add-fertility-treatments.html?client=safari

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I've read all the articles. And am aware of the statistics. If anything PGD lessens the pregnancy rate because old eggs don't survive the manipulation as well. Since our issue has never been conceiving- we were only doing IVF because it's believed my losses are due to faulty chromosomes- we won't do another IVF using my eggs. Should we decide to speed up the process of conception I could do an IUI and likely be pregnant by next month (if past history is any indication). But the feeling is I'd just mc again because odds are my egg quality is bad.
We will still TTC on our own although I'm not holding out much hope. My AMH and FSH etc are still good but my eggs are still 44. And apparently expired!!
When do you start the IVF/PGD process?

 

[Sophie2015]

Bronte? Eabwhab? You ladies still around? Updates? Been thinking of you both.