Hey Sophie!
Hope youre having a lovely Christmas at the beach! Sounds like just what you two needed!
I can't for sure say what to do about DE - you know I'm in this exact situation. Having to think honestly about that option is a real grieving process....I know comfortably right now that I can cycle again with my doctor for my eggs, and if I want to pursue donor after I can...I don't know if I only had one more IVF left that I would choose a less "guaranteed" outcome or not. I'm struggling just considering donor.
Heres a message from a clinic that I used to go to regarding my inquirey on donor eggs
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time of trying to get pregnant. At this point, given all that you have gone through, I would recommend donor egg. This will give you the best chance of pregnancy. I find that most women have a very difficult time coming to terms with this option, but for the many who I have cared for over the years who have families through donor egg, the overwhelming comment I hear is that they wish they had utilized this option sooner and can't imagine not having the child they ultimately conceived. Please let me know if you would like us to meet to discuss this option.
Dr. Schoolcraft may recommend another cycle with your own eggs, and will likely recommend genetic screening of the embryos. I feel that this is an expensive option with a small chance of success. I would be happy to discuss this further. Let me know if you would like my office to reach out to you to schedule an appointment. (name taken out) our egg donor coordinator. She can tell you about our program and our donors. I personally select all of the donors in our program after they have had an extensive evaluation which looks at their ovarian reserve, genetic background and psychological as well as family history evaluation. Only a small percentage (under 5%) of donors who apply are ultimately selected, leading us to have stellar success rates with our lovely young donors. Let's plan on meeting once you have had a chance to touch base with (name taken out). Her extension is 224, and I am copying her on this email.
Its a lot to think about. And I guess the best thing I can say is to do what I am doing. Ive applied to IVF refund programs, I've spent a few hours on the phones with different insurance carriers to talk about out of state cycling, grants, the cost of donor eggs, a few different clinics that I like including the one I'm at now and how their programs work, how much they cost, and whats involved...the more I talk about this the more people in this situation I see recommending just going donor embryo and how it's half the cost. It's just....a lot.