First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[doggylover]

I know I joked about having a beast baby a bit recently but dh just told me when he was talking with my mum earlier she said "so, this is going to be a big baby!"

I'm absolutely gutted. I know this probably sounds stupid, and of course i will love this baby no matter what size they are, but I want a little baby - like 7lbs. If a baby is any bigger than 10lbs people always say stuff like "oh he came out half reared" or "he was born a toddler" and I don't want that for my baby I want a baby baby, who is petite, and not the massive beast I am currently anticipating. And knowing my mum thinks it too just makes me feel awful.

 

[MrsHippo]

Alex, I would also say something to your mum along the lines of 'I'm looking forward to just having that time with OH and baby so we can bond and really take everything in' I'm sure you would word it better than I just did though lol See if she says anything anyway, if she asks to be there then just explain your reasons to why you don't - not straight away anyway. Hopefully you won't have to directly tell her though and she'll respect your decision.
I am hoping for no one to visit me in hospital if I am honest. If it was just my mum then it would be fine...but it wouldn't. When a baby is born in our family EVERYONE feels the need to visit. I am talking 20+ people :/ I really really don't want that. So I am going to ask for no visitors until we get home then people can come on different days ect. Otherwise it will just be too overwhelming. When I was in hospital early last year I had my mum visit and that was it. I didn't want to see anyone else.
You have defo got to post a photo up of your nursery, I think we are all itching to see it!!

Laura, I can't believe that doctor!! Apparently they aren't allowed to have junior doctors seeing patients without someone more senior being present. She obviously didn't have a clue what she was doing! My sister went to see a doctor last year as she was getting pain during sex ect (18 at the time). She went to see someone who she thought was a fully qualified gp.....the woman only turned around and said ''all your symptoms are pointing towards cervical cancer'' !!!!! Then said 'but we can't tell for sure until we have examined you' my sister asked her if she was going to examine her and she turned around and told her to make another appointment as she didn't have time!!!! Who in their right mind would tell an 18 year old that she might have cervical cancer without even looking at her!!! Even if she did suspect that you certainly wouldn't tell the patient until you actually knew. My poor sister was absolutely in bits after and my mum ended up going in with her after to majorily complain - turned out this ''doctor'' wasn't even qualified and the practice manager said she shouldn't have seen her by herself (should have had someone more senior with her). My mum then demanded someone else saw her there and then - so she was examined, had tests ect.....she didn't have anything remotely worrying. Think it was endometriosis or something. But shows just what damage GP surgeries can do. How is my sister ever going to trust a doctor again after that?? I felt so sorry for her.
The point I was trying to make there is that if you walk away more confused than you did before you went in then ask to see someone more senior.
I am bidding on some furniture on ebay at the moment hopefully I will win that for next to nothing.
Also, did the ''doctor'' say it was safe to take co-codamal? I know they recommend not taking it but obviously they have to look at the pros and cons of the situation. But co-codamal can become addictive and I have heard that if you take it too often the baby can suffer with withdrawal symptoms once born - Not suggesting you are popping them like smarties lol, but wondering whether they discussed that with you?

Hayley, for the birthing thing, I personally think you really need to discuss it with your OH as you don't want to cause any problems there. There are probably things you can do too, have you ever taken diazepam? I have heard of people being given that during labour so it should be fine to take. But that will/should relax you (it is a mild sedative). Our patients have to take it when they suffer from claustrophobia or suffer with panic attacks ect and they find that it works well. It is something to consider, obviously speak to your midwife about it. But if you can relax yourself then it might be possible to go ahead with it along side your OH. Also, it might be worth looking at different relaxation methods which you and OH can do together.

AFM today - had a busy(ish) day at work. Came home and started stripping wallpaper from one wall in my bedroom! It was nice and easy to pull off actually. The hard part was sanding it down after as there were bits of paint underneath and patches where it had come off with the paper. It really took it out of me! Also, I am painting it tomorrow BUT I can't move the bed haha. Adam is away all week so he can't move it for me. Soooo I am painting AROUND the bed until he is home haha. The reason I am doing that is because the apartment went back on the market today and they are coming around on Friday to take new photos (we used them last year and they still have our details along with the old photos). So I have a bit of work to do tomorrow.

Also, I have finally agreed to let my mum pay for the pushchair :/ but it means we can go and put the deposit down on Saturday We will also be moving furniture out the small room so we can start decorating that for the nursery. I am excited.

My god though, after all that sanding down and jumping up and down from the bed my legs are KILLING me!! I bet I wake up all stiff in the morning.

 

[LiverpoolLass]

Sarah - I'm sorry you're so upset I know how you feel as I found it upsetting when my mum kept making comments about me having a big baby, I think I'd be a bit gutted if I had a 10 lb+ baby too - obviously a healthy baby is the most important thing, but I have known people say similar things about being born a toddler and how they were "robbed of a newborn"! I just wouldn't want things like that said coz it feels insulting.

But do you actually have any medical opinion that this will be a large baby or is it all purely based on the size of your bump?

Maybe it would be worth discussing with a midwife, as they are obviously best placed to know about birth sizes. I really thought that our bump sizes didn't really have anything to do with size of baby as we could be "all baby" or a whole lot of fluid and bloating, etc?


Lauren - lol at you painting around the bed! Aww what a pain! Does your OH work away?


AFM - I have discussed the birthing issue with OH loads of times, but he's not a big fan of serious actual conversations lol. He knows all of my concerns, and he just brushes them off. He hasn't outright said "NO I'm putting my foot down and demanding I be there" - he just jokes around and says "Pick me!".
The thing with anxiety meds is that I'm not able to take any because I'm on a butt-load of other medication already and certain things don't mix well - I was on a betablocker to calm my nerves but I had to be taken off it during the pregnancy.

If it was a normal labour it would be ok as I could have them both there, but with it being the c-section it can only be one of them in the immediate room.

I have thought about what Sarah said with trying to coach him on how to handle me, but the truth is that he's had two years of practice living with me and experiencing my panic attacks first hand and he is STILL useless at dealing with me.
I've told him soooo many times what the best way of dealing with me is, so has my mum but he just doesn't do it - he either gets annoyed because I'm being irrational and that makes the whole situation worse, or he ends up panicking and saying things that make ME panic more.

My main trigger with panic attacks is a fear of dying, and given that I've never been in a theatre before I know I will be petrified of what might go wrong - I just know if I start talking about what I'm worried about, he'll agree with me and will point out all kinds of scary things in there and talk about stories he's heard where people died on the operating table - thats exactly what he's like and no amount of me warning him not to do it will stop him from putting his foot in his mouth :/
Whereas my mum is really good at distraction techniques, and making me realise I'm being stupid - plus she works in a hospital so she'll be able to tell me about how many operations she sees per day and how none of them ever go wrong etc (All things I already know, but will need to hear at the time!).

I wish I could have them both in there, or even just swap them over if I happen to go in and be perfectly calm - but I know they won't let me. *sigh*

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah, I feel the same about the size a couple of people have told me 'she will be big' it really p*sses me off. We all know that the size of our bumps has nothing to do with the size of our babies. But I want a tiny litte baby and was worried about her being big BUT my friend who had a rather large baby actually reassured me a little, when we saw him for the first time he still looked so small and new born like. Apparently they loose a bit of weight in the first couple of weeks too :/ I think they tell us the estimated weight towards the end too although all three of my friends that have babies over the last 3 months have said all the estimates were no where near right... So what's the point?

Yes my OH works away sometimes he hasn't worked away for a couple of months now but this week he is in Essex on nights (we live in Nottingham) and it would just be too much for him and the lad he is working with to travel it. Oh and if your wondering what he does he is an electrician, works on banks, courts and other big buildings

I do feel for you about your situation its easy for me and the other girls to suggest things to try, but unless you deal with it yourself or have someone close with it, we don't truely know what it's like. But I do think that if you over think about it you could make it worse. But best person I think to speak to is your doctor, ask about anything you can take or do to help on the day. You don't have to make a decision straight away about who you want with you. As for discussing what it is your worried about with OH i'd maybe keep that to yourself... Well from him for now anyway. I know men can be a pain in the backside and I'm sure they say things before thinking about it. But on the day he is going to be excited and anxious himself because 1. You will be going for a c-section and 2. He will be meeting his baby. So I doubt he will say anything silly to you. But obviously I don't know him...
I'm trying to think back to when you told us about the potential planned c-section but can't think for the life of me why you are going for one?? X

 

[baby_nurse]

Hayley It really sounds like your Mum would be the better person to have there for you. No disrespect to your partner but it sounds like he doesn't help you during these situations. On a lesser scale it is similar for me, when I get anxiety/depression/negative the only person who can help me is my OH and as much as I have tried to explain to my Mum what doesn't help, she reverts back to her ways which make me lots worse. I think you need to sit down and have a serious chat with your OH, he is obviously fully aware of your emotional health and explain the things that you are nervous about - and ask him how he is going to support you through this. Is it worth you both going to some antenatal classes together to explore this? At my NCT classes we have been looking at how the partner can support the Mum but also how the Mum can support the partner and looking at how it is a scary/stressful/nervous situation for them too and trying to understand how each person might feel. I feel loads more confident in my OH's ability to support me now as he's loads more informed about labour/birth ... could that possibly help you? I always feel the more informed you are on a situation - what will happen/why etc that it will make the situation less fearful and tense for both of you. The last thing you want to do is get there and not have approached the subject and both of you don't really have a clear plan of how to support each other.

Sarah Sorry to hear your worried about the size The only thing that worries me about having a big baby is getting it out although I think it hurts pretty bad whatever size it is! I think big babies are quite cute but I think it's because I look after a lot of scrawny little things at work (bless them) so I like a baby with a bit of chunk of it lol. People will comment on size of baby whatever you have, my friend had a 6lb 10 oz baby and all people say to her is she's not feeding it enough (she's breastfeeding) and that she should give it bottles, she's really quite upset by people's comments. Honestly it's like when your preggers, people just feel it's bloody acceptable to be plain RUDE and horrible because it's their unhelpful opinion! I think measuring whilst your pregnant (fundal or whatever they call it) is pretty unreliable anyway so I'm sure once we see our babies on the day we'll just be so overwhelmed with love we won't give a damn if it's a bruiser or a titch lol.

Lauren Happy painting! I will post some proper pics once it's finished as we have furniture up and painted but so much junk lying around still it doesn't look that good lol, there are a few pics in my journal of it unfinished. I will post some pics of decals if (fingers crossed) they go on the walls ok lol!

Laura I'm not sure those drugs help with SPD chick. I'm sure I read that pain relief like that is pretty useless and my dr didn't seem to recommend it, but then it seems every dr is different so maybe it's fine. I'm going back next week for check up so I'll ask then.

Thanks for the advice about my Mum ladies, I think I will try and sensitively and subtly drop it into the conversation but not make a big thing of it. I'm just going to try and make it sound like it's not anything to do with her but we just want it the 2 of us, then she won't get offended hopefully. I'm off to do a little more shopping today as had some vouchers for xmas so going to get some nighties for hospital in the sale and hopefully some more fleeces and muslim.

 

[I Love Lucy]

Sarah, if I was staying team I definitely wouldn't have bought all the diapers that I did. I would have just bought some neutral colored fitteds, prefolds, and maybe a few AIO/pocket diapers with gender neutral colors/prints. I like the Thirsties patterns too. The owl print is one that I ordered, it's my favorite. I really like the plain colors for that brand the best too.

What kind of breastpump did you decide to purchase? I just bought mine yesterday. I decided to go with the Lansinoh Affinity Double Electric Breastpump. I saw this one recommended a few times in the breastfeeding forum instead of buying a more expensive Medela one.

Laura, thanks for the info about weeks 28-32 being the best for pictures. I'm doubtful DH will want to do another scan since he had mentioned before that he didn't think it was necessary since we had a 3D scan at 20 weeks. Also, they did a weight measurement at my 3D scan, he weighed 11 ozs then but no idea what his weight is now.

So sorry about the doctor you had to see about the SPD. I would have definitely wanted to see someone else considering she was diagnosing you based on what she was reading on Google. I could have done that and I don't have any kind of medical background. Hope everything goes well with your GTT results.

Also, I've had a few people comment on my bump saying they can't believe I'm having a boy because it looks like a girl bump. It irritates me so much because for one, the whole how you carry has nothing to do with gender, you body shape is what determines how you will carry your baby. I basically avoid people and baby conversations since I get so irritated with all the comments.

Lauren, I'm so sorry you got bad news about the house.

Hayley, I've been practicing counting Aiden's kicks even though I haven't been told to do anything yet. I usually have 10 counted within 15-20 minutes in the morning when DH gets up for work since the baby is usually moving around then. I definitely don't think you'll be sitting around counting kicks for 2 hours.

Also, the mechanical swing is something DH and I will be purchasing in a couple weeks. Now hopefully our babies like those things since they're definitely costly.

Your birthing dilemma is much more tricky. Personally, I could not make DH wait outside while my mom was in there with me. At the end of the day, DH is the father and my mom is just the grandmother so DH would rank higher up on the list of people allowed in the room to me. Instead of considering not having DH in the room with me, I would be working on techniques to keep your panic under control/techniques for your DH to help you rather then make you more upset. It is a tough situation though, I definitely don't envy you having to figure that out.

Alex, I don't think there is anything wrong with you not wanting your mom in the room with you. My mom asked me awhile back if she would be allowed in the room and at the time I didn't know so I said maybe. Then I said if she was in the room I wouldn't want her watching the baby come out because the idea of anyone staring at my vagina while the baby comes out of it just weirds me out, I don't even want to see that. But she was saying she would be watching and that just made me not want her there if she wasn't going to respect my wishes. It also helped that DH is very adamant about not wanting anyone in the room but him and I. I've basically been telling everyone that we won't have visitors at the hospital at all except for the grandparents if things are going well and DH and I are up for it but the birth will just be DH and I. I thought my mom would be really upset by all this but I just kept telling her that DH and I have no idea how things will be and we both have a lot to learn and we would just like to have the time in the hospital to learn without family and friends around. She has actually been very understanding and supportive of what I wanted so I would say discuss what you want with your mom, she may surprise you and be on board with everything.

As for the rest of our visitors, DH and I have basically said we'll have all our family out the first Saturday after we return home. This seems to be the best plan in regards to my family who lives out of state since they would obviously need to make work/travel arrangements. Not to mention, I just would feel more comfortable entertaining guests in our home for a few hours rather then having people being paraded in and out of the hospital room and only have a few minutes with Aiden. I would really like to get some family pictures at this time too and it would be more practical to do this at our home I think. Not to mention, I would much rather just have one day of visitors and then DH and I have the rest of the time to ourselves without other people interfering/trying to tell us how to do things because they think they're being helpful.

AFM my nursery is still a work in progress. DH got the rest of the walls painted but now he needs to paint the ceiling. There were a few spots where he got sloppy and got paint on the ceiling so he got white paint to fix those spots but now it's very obvious where the white spots are so it has to be done. DH also got paint all over parts of the carpet, I'm so irritated with him over this because there was plastic on the floor and he was just lazy not moving the plastic so all of the carpet was covered. If he doesn't get that paint out I'm going to be really pissed. I just wish I could have done all of this stuff myself. DH has done nothing but procrastinate and slow me down on getting things set up in the nursery and it's really starting to get me frustrated. Anyways, here are some pictures of what is done, I apologize for the lighting.

Picture 1, the glider/ottomon is going in the corner next to the window and then the dresser will be next to that. Picture 2, I'm getting a bookcase for books/storage and that will go in the corner on that wall. The crib/changer will go in the middle of the wall. And then my hanging wet bag for the cloth diapers will be on the wall in the other corner. Picture 3, DH is planning to paint something arctic themed to match the nursery set on the closet doors/wall but I'm not holding my breath considering how slowly he has been moving on getting everything else done. Picture 4, 28 week bump pictures. I'm officially in the third tri according to the US trimester divisions.

Also, I'm up to 23 lbs gained so far this week. I've gained like 5 lbs this week! Really hoping Aiden is just going through a growth spurt again like he did around 20 weeks and that I maintain this weight for the next few weeks. If I continue to gain like this I imagine my doctor would really yell at me about my weight.

 

[LiverpoolLass]

I just typed out a WHOLE huge reply and the computer swallowed it! Grrrr!
Now I'm probably going to forget everything I wanted to say.

Lauren - The c-section is because my medical condition (Graves disease and some heart problems) means I have an increased risk of death in childbirth. Basically the stress that labour can put your body under means I could go into a thyroid storm, which can be fatal.
I also have an increased risk of stillbirth, so a planned c-section can be beneficial as its a more controlled manner of getting baby out safely.
The medical condition also means I've had an increased risk of miscarriage throughout so the entire pregnancy has been classed as "high risk" - I was supposed to refrain from getting pregnant until I had an operation to remove my thyroid gland completely, but it didn't work out that way in the end!

Alex - Yeah he really is just not the best person to have around me at stressful/anxious times unfortunately.
The ante natal classes could be a good idea, but I'm not sure if they'd be worthwhile if we are having a c section - don't they usually focus purely on vaginal births?
I hope the conversation with your mum goes well! And hope you managed to find some nice bits & pieces while you were shopping. I can't believe its time to start thinking about nighties for hospital etc already - it's getting sooooo close!

Brittany - Cute bump pic! Its really coming along now, you can definitely see a difference since the last pic!
Ah thats handy that you've been able to count kicks that way! I haven't tried it yet but maybe I should give it a go since I'm 28 weeks tomorrow.
I'm not sure its going to be so easy though, as Bean seems to be having wiggles at any given moment during the day right now - he used to have a routine of being active more at night, but the past few days its been much more spaced out movements - but big ones, so i'm not worried.
(Last night I felt him sort of roll around - it felt like a 360 degree turn! It made me feel queasy lol).

Yeah I'd definitely love to have OH there at the birth, but it really is a choice of deciding whether to sacrifice a happy birth experience for myself so that he can be there or let myself feel happier and more relaxed and make him wait for half an hour to meet the baby.
Its not an easy call. I'd love to think he could be trained to be better but its been 2 years of him knowing how I am, and he's never improved so I doubt it will happen now.
When I was in A & E earlier in the pregnancy was a prime example - he knows hospitals freak me out, and I was laying there hooked up to all kinds of different monitors - as soon as one started making an alert noise, I started to panic and looked to him for support and he was no use at all - he was even more panicked than me, and just kept saying things like "That doesn't look normal, should your heart rate be that high? If they don't hurry up and get in here you're probably going to die!".
That is just the opposite of what I need from him but he's incapable of thinking before he speaks. I can imagine he'd be watching what the surgeons are doing and making comments about how scary it all looks, or worse...faint! :/

AFM - I went to see the Dr today for a check up after the mastitis. Its better than it was but my breast still looks mis-shapen, so now she wants to send me for a breast scan SO not looking forward to that!

I booked myself in for my whopping cough vaccine, so I'm having that tomorrow morning.
I also tried to collect my Mat B1 form today - has anybody got theres yet? I swear the receptionist has given me the wrong thing! All it is is a piece of paper that says "Mat B 1" on the top and has a list of questions and answers about what the certificate is. There is nothing on there to be filled in or signed by anybody - I swear she's just given me a leaflet that explains it and not the actual form!!

Also this afternoon I went swimming for the first time since becoming pregnant, it was soooo lovely and relaxing but since I've come home Bean has been kicking SO hard - I don't know if the exercise just woke him up or if he didn't like it and he's punishing me lol.

Its funny with the whole visitor situation, I seem to feel the opposite of a lot of you. I'm worried that people might not come in to visit! I REALLY want lots of visitors at the hospital. I've asked my sister to book holidays from work so that she and my nieces can come to Liverpool (from Devon) when I have the baby, I want loads of family around us!
I was gutted that hospital policy is not to allow children on the ward as I REALLY want my nieces to meet their cousin when he's brand new in hospital :/ I was thinking of fibbing and saying they're Jons children as siblings are allowed in lol.

 

[doggylover]

Thanks ladies for your kind words re:size of baby. It's good to know I'm not the only one who would like a smaller baby, but you have made me feel a lot better, as always. I will definitely bring it up with my midwife at the end of the month. I have only gained around 14/15lbs, so I don't understand what exactly is making me look so huge! Honestly, compared to Brittany's gorgeous bump photo I am enormous!!!! Weirdly today I look like I've stuck football up my jumper!

Hayley I'm sorry that its such a struggle and worry for you re:birth partner. My dh is the same when I try to talk about serious stuff - he doesn't seem to 'do' serious conversations and is always saying unhelpful stuff, so I know how annoying it is, and I can't imagine what that must be like for you now. I guess it's just something you will have to have a serious think about, and choose whatever feels right for you. At the end of the day, it's you who is undergoing the operation in terms of the MatB1 I got mine at 22 weeks as I had to hand before 25 weeks. It was like half an A4 page size and really not what I was expecting! My midwife signed it, and I filled in my details and that's it. I just handed it to my boss and he was happy enough. Mine was a yellowy colour I think. That sucks about your hospital not letting kids visit. I definitely want my nephew there to meet baby ASAP as well, it just makes things so much nicer when the whole family is involved, IMO.

Brittany I love the colour of your nursery! It's looking great! Very annoying about dh spraying paint about, and being a little lazy (mine can be the same) but there is still plenty of time before Aiden arrives to get things just perfect. It sounds like you have a great plan for family visits once the baby arrives - I agree it will be nice for family who are travelling far to have a set time that's a little longer to see you all. And don't worry about your weight - it could be just as you said and Aiden is having another growth spurt. As long as you are both healthy that's the main thing.

Alex you're absolutely right - when baby arrives I know I won't care at all, but I would hate to think other people are saying my baby is a beast! That's awful about what people are saying to your friend about breastfeeding, people can be so cruel to pregnant women and new mothers. As if we aren't doing our best at all times! Hope you enjoyed shopping and got some useful things.

Afm baby has been very quiet today, maybe a growth spurt? I had an energy drink to liven things up, and have been getting consistent kicks, but all lighter than usual. I hope (taking into consideration recent conversations about how big s/he already is!) it's not too big a growth spurt

 

[LiverpoolLass]

Sarah - it sounds like your weight gain is pretty much bang on target, if not slightly less than average so I don't know why people are commenting on you being big?!
Maybe you're just one of those people who carries out in front?! I know I'm the same way, I'm literally ALL bump. Did you ever have your bump measured by a midwife?
If they haven't done that I would certainly ask them to, just to put your mind at rest.
I outright told mine that my mother was making comments about me being too big, and she measured me in front of her and put her straight! lol.
She also gave me some little tips on things that can increase the size of the baby - for example, I was drinking a bottle of lucozade every day as I was feeling faint when I was out - she told me that would contribute toward a bigger baby so I stopped lol.

Aww does your hospital allow kiddy visitors?
Its funny coz the Liverpool Womens hospital doesnt and neither did the Exeter hospital I was registered with before - I know kiddies are great at spreading germs but I can't see the problem if siblings are allowed, why not just allow all kids but only at certain times or something?! Booooo!

Yeah...sounds like the daft receptionist has definitely given me the wrong thing re the mat B1 form - mine doesn't have ANYTHING that can be filled in on it, its literally just an information sheet.
Silly cow! Lucky I'm going back for the vaccine tomorrow or I'd be fuming!!

 

[doggylover]

Nope, never been properly measured - my 28 week appointment was a stand in midwife as mine was sick, so it was by basic. I will mention this to her at the end of the month and see how we get on (if she says I'm massive I'm demanding she gets the baby out there and then before it gets any bigger!!) I actually drank a bottle of lucozade today, so I won't be doing that again any time soon that's for sure. I wonder why it's a contributor, maybe just the amount of sugar in them?

Did the receptionist give you the prescription and dental exemption certificate instead of matb1? I'm pretty sure that you have to get matb1 from the midwife or hospital as they have to put your due date on it and sign it. Like you say, lucky you are going back tomorrow to check! I hope your vaccine goes OK - I've heard a few people say it gave them a sore arm for a few days. My flu one did so I imagine when I get whooping cough it'll be the same.

I was checking out your blog and the letters/names post you have on there is great, the letter A is so gorgeous! I will definitely be back looking at those when we eventually find out what gender this baby is!

 

[I Love Lucy]

Hayley when I count movements from Aiden I usually wait until I feel at least 2 movements from him then I start counting. I wait to feel a few movements first just to see if he's even going to be somewhat active or if he's just going to do one movement and then go back to not doing anything. I would probably panic if I started trying to count movements as soon as I felt the first one and it just happened to be a roll and that was it or something. Really not sure how my doctor is going to have me do this since I learn about kick counts at my next appointment on the 22nd but it doesn't hurt to practice a little bit. Not to mention, hopefully it will help me figure out his routine a bit more. I feel like I'm the only one that has no idea what kind of routine my baby has. I usually find myself so focused on other things during the day that I just don't pay that much attention to what he's doing.

If your OH makes comments like what you described then I could understand you not wanting him in there. What would make him think saying things like "you're probably going to die" will help anything at all. Men, I swear they don't think half the time. So with that I understand why you would prefer your mom there since she wouldn't be adding to your panic, but at the same time I would be devastated about my DH having to wait to see the baby considering it's a life he helped created. Thankfully my DH is a little bit better about dealing with my panic attacks and he's very calm all the time since he knows I'll be hysterical. Your situation just really sucks because no matter what you do it's going to be disappointing for somebody.

I did want to tell you that they have some classes at my hospital for women having C sections instead of vaginal births. Maybe your hospital or somewhere near you will have something similar. Maybe you could kind of use the class as a trial class to see if your OH could handle everything or if he would just make you feel worse.

I more so don't want family around because of how people are. MIL is sooooo pushy, she would seriously be telling me and DH how to do things and if we did things a different way she would criticize things because in her head the way she does stuff is the only way/right way. Not to mention, she would probably hold the baby the entire time and not let anyone else visit with him which would stress me out. That's what she did with my nephew, I didn't even get to hold him because she wouldn't give him up. She even told SIL (the babies mom) no when she asked to have him back!! Then my mom would probably be so overly emotional crying and stuff and that is just not me at all, it makes me uncomfortable. So I feel like telling everyone no is the only way to avoid that stuff, especially since I doubt I'm going to have much energy to deal with them in the hospital.

Sarah, I just weighed myself a little while ago and I have lost 2 lbs. Now that I'm thinking about it, I had wings Monday and Tuesday which made me really thirsty. I'm thinking the salt content in the wings has made me retain water and in the next few days I'll be back to having gained only a pound or so.

As for my plan for the family visits, I just hope everyone understands that doing it this way is what DH and I WANT instead of thinking of themselves. I never had issues with my own family before getting pregnant but lately I've really noticed how selfish everyone is. Like my mom and cousin have made me feel bad before about not allowing anyone to feel my bump. At the end of the day, it's my body and my baby, it's not about them. Then when DH and I eloped, we chose not to tell anyone because we wanted the day to just be about us. Well at the past two parties with my family I've had family criticize me about this. My one aunt made comments about if they had known they would have came out, that's exactly why no one was told, we didn't want people there but it's like my aunt just doesn't get that. Then my other aunt was asking if we'll have a reception which DH and I really don't know if we will or not. I want to focus on Aiden rather then spending a bunch of money on having a wedding reception but my aunt basically said I will have a reception since I cheated "them" out of a party by getting married the way I did. It's like no one even thinks about what DH and I want and I imagine if they are going to be like that about how we got married, they'll be the same about the birth and such. Then MIL has already said she will be at the hospital to see the baby regardless because it's her grandchild but she wouldn't see me. She seems to think that not wanting visitors at the hospital is simply because I don't want to see anyone. Stupid woman, she does my head in. I find I get very stressed about all of this but thankfully DH is 100% in agreement with our plan and he has no problem telling people off if they try to show up before we want visitors.

 

[I Love Lucy]

What is lucozade? I've never heard of that, maybe it's called something different here in the US?

 

[doggylover]

Lucozade is an energy drink - like a fizzy Gatorade I suppose.

I think as long as you and DH are on the same page, then you are already winning the fight against annoying family, as soon you will be your own family with Aiden. I don't understand your mil saying she'll come to the hospital to see Aiden but won't see you. Like you are going to send your brand new baby off to someone at the hospital and just stay away? I guess you and dh just need to reiterate the point that not only do you want time as a family to bond, but once home you want to feel comfortable that you know when people are coming to spend quality time with you and Aiden, rather than people popping up whenever they feel like, which might be when you don't feel like visitors. And good on dh telling people off - he's going to be a great daddy if he is already getting ready to fight people away from his wife and son!

Your aunt should realise that you have more important things to think about than throwing a party for other people to celebrate your wedding (that was how you wanted it anyway!)

It seems like the are a lot of different opinions on what is the "right" thing to do with weddings and babies, but at the end of the day, once you are in your house you can lock the door, so the only opinion that really matters is that of you and dh!

 

[I Love Lucy]

I'm assuming Lucozade is like a Monster or Red Bull then. I don't ever drink energy drinks so we may actually have Lucozade and I just don't know about it.

Sarah, I definitely don't want people randomly showing up whenever they feel like it. That's why DH and I have said we'll have one day for visitors and then we would like time to ourselves to adjust and for our animals to adjust without people adding to the excitement. DH and I are basically loners, we really don't prefer to spend a lot of time with our families so just really hoping everyone understands that just because we have a baby we're not going to suddenly change how we are and leaves us alone.

 

[LiverpoolLass]

Sarah - Aww well I hope you get measured at your next appointment. I know you tried it yourself but its not the same, you won't feel better until a midwife does it for you!
My friend who is currently a few days overdue was told an estimated weight about 3 weeks ago, so they do definitely give us some kind of idea of what weight to expect - but like Lauren said, I hear they can often be wrong so its probably a bit pointless.
:/

Well the piece of paper she gave me does say Mat B 1 on the top of it, but theres just nothing to fill in or sign - I think she's given some kind of top sheet or accompanying leaflet rather than the part I actually needed! She did seem confused over two different pieces of paper in her hand but only handed me one! *doh*

I asked the Dr for it originally and she told me to get it from reception. But I'm sure I will need to get the midwife to sign it when I eventually get the right form! Luckily I dont need it for a few weeks yet, I was just being proactive lol.
I'm seeing the midwife on Monday so I can get her to sign it then.

I'll let you know how the whooping cough vaccine goes. I heard people say the same thing about the flu jab but it never bothered me. I think I've just become hardened to needles coz of the monthly blood tests lol.

Aww the letters really are lovely! Its actually my cousin who makes them so if you do decide to order, let me know as I can probably get you some discount lol. She's making me some for the nursery once I FINALLY decide on a bloody name!!!

Brittany - I know! Men - seriously!!! It is hard as I hate disappointing anybody, and I so want OH to experience the birth. I just don't want to end up SO stressed out and panicky that I end up not enjoying the experience myself :/ I don't want the first time my baby meets me, for him to see me all panicked and upset! :/

Aww I can understand why you wouldn't want people around who are like that! I think my mother will be fine in the hospital but as we'll be living in her home for a while after, I can imagine she is going to try to take over then - I know she did with my sisters first baby! Not looking forward to that part

Oh thats interesting that your hospital does classes for people having c sections! I'll have to ask if theres anything like that here, fingers crossed!

Also, its funny you mention about the emotions thing - I was just watching One Born Every Minute tonight on TV and noticing how EVERY mother sobs and cries when she gives birth and so does every body else.
It worried me because I'm not very good with emotional displays - they also make me uncomfortable. I don't really want to cry and I don't want other people to be all emotional, it just makes me feel awkward :/
But I also know I'll feel like the nurses are thinking I'm cold if I'm not a crying mess!!!
I felt really pressured to cry at the scans, but it just doesn't come naturally to me...I didn't well up at all :/

Yeah lucozade is an energy/sports drink - its similar to Monster and Redbull but sort of more of a sports drink I think.
I was drinking them a lot as a nurse recommended them for when I'm feeling faint...I'm not sure what it is in them that can mean a baby could be big! I guess it must just be all the glucose?!

 

[doggylover]

Lucozade is the best - I always associate it with being sick and off school though, as my mum used to buy it for us when we weren't well! Brittany it's not quite as as red bull, I wouldn't feel a sugar rush from it like I would with that stuff!

Brittany, interesting you mentioned getting your animals adjusted - what animals do you have? we have two dogs (and a cat who is never around!) and I'm worried that the younger one will have a hard time. He is very much the baby, and he is so petted that its unreal. I've already said to dh we need to get the stair gate on mid-feb so he gets used to not being able to go upstairs whenever he wants (oh, he's not ALLOWED upstairs whenever he wants, but he does not listen to a single word we say. So highly trained....) and I don't want all the changes for him to come at once as i dont think that would be fair for him. He's only 9 months and is just a big loveable dope! our other dog will be fine, she is very settled as she's older, and doesn't fuss much with new people or children. And I agree there is an expectation once you have a baby that you suddenly want to see everyone all the time....why would you if you didn't want to before? Surely you'd be less inclined to see people and stay at home and snuggle your LO alone?!

Hayley, good to know about your cousin making the letters! Will make a note about that as my memory is awful at the minute! And so much for being proactive with your form- that managed to backfire because of the receptionist I hope you get it all sorted out today.

My LOs movements are back to normal last night/this morning, with lts of bouncing about so reassuring.

 

[MrsHippo]

I drink lucozade when I have off days or when I have a migraine as it really helps. Can't drink a full bottle though because it dehydrates me. Red bull is a no no is pregnancy though as it contains taurine which can be harmful, lucozade just contains sugar. It's often given to diabetics when they're blood sugar drops.

As for family, I hate any situation that involves them... To an extent. I'll happily see my mum whenever but the kids annoy me sometimes. Same with dad, it's the kids that wind me up more than anything - I'm really not a children person lol. I dread the day my LO starts receiving party invites and stuff haha. I think I'll let Adam deal with them!! But I too am a very private person and id choose sitting by myself at home than in a room full of people any day. I'm rather unsociable sometimes

My HR department were bugging me about my matb1 before id even had my 21 week scan! So I had it sent out to me shortly after. But yes mine definitely had a signature on from the midwife.

As for pets, my little doggy will be going to a new home we are taking her around to meet my friends grandmother tomorrow and go from there. She is a lovely natured dog but constantly needs attention. When she was a pup she suffered majorly with seperation anxiety, she is a tad better now but hates change. She has been driving me insane ALL week!! Adam has gone back to work after 2 weeks off so now all of a sudden she is by herself again and she has been crying constantly and not eating her food. I'd play with her for a bit which would keep her happy but as soon as I'd stop she would start moaning again. I think the only time she would be happy is if I physically strapped her to my body all day!! Oh and not to mention going to the toilet in her crate at night (which also happens when something has changed)... I was up at 3:15am the other night cleaning her cage because she weed in it and was crying and howling because she had to sit in it. Was not happy. Imagine what she is going to be like once bean has entered the world? She would just be awful. I spoke to the vet last night about it when I took her for her booster and he thinks it is a sensible idea as she probably will hate a baby being centre of attention and not her. I'm sad to do it but I think it's best for us and for her.

I have my 4d scan on Sunday so excited!!

Oh, and I don't know if I mentioned... Don't think i did, we put the apartment on the market and the following day we had interest!!! I have my first viewing on Sunday afternoon, the other is next week. I was OVER the moon!! I know it is only a viewing and they might not like it enough to purchase but I really didn't think we would get any interest, not so soon anyway. There is another apartment for sale which is much smaller than mine but in really good condition, they have had it on the market since may and still no interest... She has lowered the price considerably too. So I guess I thought we wouldn't have any... But we will see. I will be the happiest person alive if one buys

 

[doggylover]

Lauren that's great news about your apartment! Just goes to show that the market is so insane at the minute! I'm sure you'vekept it in beautiful condition as well, which really helps. My bro and SIL put their house on the market 3 months ago, and have just accepted an offer on it, when we all assumed it would be up for a year or more! Fingers crossed for a good offer for you Simon and I are the same - very anti-social we think a big night out is going to Tesco to get our shopping!! And our main evening activity is walking the dogs!

As for not being a child person - my aunt always hated (oh and I mean HATED!) kids, to the extent that she wouldn't even look sideways at a child in the same room as she just had no interest. She now has 3 boys and is great with all their friends - so you might surprise yourself! Sad about your little dog, but as you say, it'll be better for her to be somewhere else. My sister had to give up her dog (just to my parents though!) when she moved jobs, and she was very upset, but it was right for Marley. Alternatively, you could get a baby carrier and stick the dog in it?!

Afm, baby has been so active yesterday and today, it's been great. Yesterday I was almost taken off the face of the earth by a teenage boy who jumped backwards right into my front it was obviously an accident, but what got me is he didn't even apologise, just walked off. This was in school of course, so I verbally slaughtered him. Part of it entailed me yelling "I'M SIX AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT AND YOU THINK IT'S OK TO WIPE ME OUT AND WALK OFF???" Lol!

And as of now I have 8 weeks and 8 minutes left of work lol!

 

[MrsHippo]

I can't believe he bumped in to you and didn't even have the decency to apologise!! Some kids nowadays have no manors whatsoever!!

I'm feeling a bit emotional at the moment, took the pooch to her new potential owners today and they have agreed to have her. I am happy that she has a new home and I know she will be loved and she will be happy there as they have another little dog so full of energy just like ours, they were running around playing together ect but I feel awful for giving her away she is still at home with us now, they wants us to get her spayed first which I have agreed to... But feel upset :'(

On a better note, we are about to go out to put the reservation fee on our pushchair then I need to come home and clean up ready for our viewing tomorrow... Eek scary!! X

 

[I Love Lucy]

Hayley, I didn't cry at my scans at all. The only time I teared up a bit was at that first appointment when I heard the heartbeat for the first time. My mom is super emotional though. She cried at seeing my ultrasound pictures and stuff and she cries watching people give birth on those baby story shows. I just think it's weird and it makes me uncomfortable. I think I tell her to stop all the time but then she starts acting like if I'm not crying or whatever then I'm not excited. It irritates me, I'm very much so like my father when it comes to how I deal with emotions.

Sarah, I have 1 dog and 2 cats. My dog LOVES kids so I'm not really worried about her having any issues with the baby but at the same time she gets very excited about people and kids so I imagine everything will be a bit overwhelming for her at first when we suddenly have a baby in the house for her to love on all the time. My older cat is the one I think will have the most issues, she doesn't do the best with change. It usually takes her a few weeks to adjust. Like it took her 2-3 weeks to even feel comfortable in our home when we adopted her. She seriously spent all her time under the couch and we basically never saw her. She is the same way with people though she has improved a lot and doesn't run and hide like she used to. Though with kids, she just recently warmed up to my neices and the youngest is now 2 so I don't know how she will do with a baby in the house. My other cat is still young and she was pretty good with my neices, I think she'll be fine but I guess we can't know for sure until the baby is here. Personally, making sure my animals are okay is more of a priority for me then dealing with people. DH and I are just not people persons.

Lauren, that's exciting news about your apartment. Hopefully you're able to find a buyer!