For all the comedians on BnB

[Armywife84]

At first I didn't get the original joke.

Dirty, but I still chuckled.

 

[ReReKitty]

What's red and goes beep beep?
A red beep-beeper.
What's blue and goes beep beep?
A blue beep-beeper.
What's green and goes beep beep?
"A green beep-beeper?"
No! They only come in red and blue!

What is green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.

:B

 

[MrsPoodle]

Hahahaa I love those 2!

 

[dizzydoll]

SOme classic silly ones
What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.

What's blue and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding it's breath.

Knock knock...
Who's there?
Bananas...
Bananas who?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Bananas...
Bananas who?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Bananas...
Bananas who?
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Oranges...
Oranges who?
Oranges glad I didn't say bananas

 

[tallybee]

A magician on a cruise liner had a parrot, who'd seen all the magician's tricks a million times and had long ago worked out how the magician made everything in the act disappear.
So the parrot was a bit bored with his owner not providing any new tricks that the parrot could
work out.

One night in the middle of the magician's performance, however, the ship hit an iceberg and sank.
Everyone drowned except the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of floating wreckage and climb aboard and immediately collapsed from exhaustion. Soon afterwards, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the makeshift raft and stared at the magician and stared... and stared....and stared.....and stared.

For a whole day the magician was unconscious and all the time the parrot didn't take his eyes off him. Eventually the magician started to move and looking up, he saw the parrot still staring at him.

Another hour goes by and finally the parrot squawks, " All right, I give up, what did you do with the ship?"

 

[tallybee]

Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant."Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer.
They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into the toilet and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket, please". The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on. The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea.
So, after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride without a ticket"? said one perplexed accountant."Watch and you'll see", answered an engineer. When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into the toilet and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding.
He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please".

 

[Nats21]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the drive.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

 

[aliss]

What does a space turkey say

Spoiler

hubble hubble

 

[aliss]

My joke may be inappropriate if you are over the age of 8