L
Lena
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I did unfortunately
Then I said to the midwife 'I'm sorry but what do you expect when you keep telling me to push like I'm doing a poo!' hah.
Funny Things you did while in Labour?
- Thread starter RedRose
- Start date
I did unfortunately
Then I said to the midwife 'I'm sorry but what do you expect when you keep telling me to push like I'm doing a poo!' hah.Ha ha.. this thread is funny!
Here are mine..
OH had got himself a Ginsters pasty from the vending machine and I looked over at him as he took a bite and shouted "CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING EATING!!!" so he wrapped it up and went to put it in his pocket and I shouted "NO, IN THE BIN. PUT IT IN THE BIN".
Poor bloke, hadn't eaten properly for about 35 hours by then and I made him chuck his pasty away. Felt so bad after and when I picture it now I still feel a bit sorry for him.
The other one is after the emergency C-section while I was still in theatre off my head on all the drugs the consultant who'd done the surgery came round the front of the blanket to say we were all sorted and everything went well and I held up my hand to him and said "high five".. He looked a bit baffled and I said "high five, high five!" so he reluctantly high fived me, must have thought I was a right fruit cake!.
Here are mine..
OH had got himself a Ginsters pasty from the vending machine and I looked over at him as he took a bite and shouted "CAN YOU JUST STOP FUCKING EATING!!!" so he wrapped it up and went to put it in his pocket and I shouted "NO, IN THE BIN. PUT IT IN THE BIN".
Poor bloke, hadn't eaten properly for about 35 hours by then and I made him chuck his pasty away. Felt so bad after and when I picture it now I still feel a bit sorry for him.
The other one is after the emergency C-section while I was still in theatre off my head on all the drugs the consultant who'd done the surgery came round the front of the blanket to say we were all sorted and everything went well and I held up my hand to him and said "high five".. He looked a bit baffled and I said "high five, high five!" so he reluctantly high fived me, must have thought I was a right fruit cake!.
well i crawled under the bed with my bum n bits all on show, saying "i've had enough, i'm going home", and also i made the mw promise that i could go home in time to watch dr who, cos it was the last one and i didn't want to miss it! I also screamed at her to "just cut it out of me!"
DottyLottie
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During the birth of my second, I farted in the anaesthetists face when he was putting the needle in my spine - to give him his dues, he did not flinch at all lol
The same poor man returned later to check all was well, and I was sick on his shoes, and bizarrely there was a whole half of a baked potato in it. I was a bit of a fatty at the time too, and was mortified he must think I am a disgusting fat girl that just inhales her food, and farts!
The same poor man returned later to check all was well, and I was sick on his shoes, and bizarrely there was a whole half of a baked potato in it. I was a bit of a fatty at the time too, and was mortified he must think I am a disgusting fat girl that just inhales her food, and farts!
DottyLottie
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smokey
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I shouted out "please tell me its not ginger" when the mw said she could see the head 
It was ment to be a joke between me and hubby (ginger runs in my family) but when I turned round I realised the junior mw was ginger
It was ment to be a joke between me and hubby (ginger runs in my family) but when I turned round I realised the junior mw was ginger
S
Serene123
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I told the whole room, 2 midwives, 3 doctors, my mum and best friend I was about to do a massive poo. I wasn't, her head was coming out. Still way embarrassing though!
Petite
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Everyone remember Art Attack? "The Head" from Art Attack? Well after my epidural my skin went grey and my hubby told me this and I asked if I looked like The Head from Art Attack. I then started shouting "IT'S ME....THE HEAD"
bathbabe
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My poor baby is trying to sleep in my arms, i laughed so much at this he woke up! X
S
Serene123
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I had to read the Art Attack thing to OH, so funny!! 
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erm, it doesn't get any worse than this...
I was being stitched up, so the MW was VERY close to me and I FARTED! Not just the once either
She said that whilst she had seen and had many things happen to her, being farted in the face was not one of them lol
Still, she'll at least remember me!!
Nicola xx
Hahaha oh god thats funny.
As for me, I pooped. I wouldnt have even known it had happened if it wasnt for MW saying "Oh just a little bit of poo there, i'll get rid of it". And with OH standing next to me! I was mortified.
Also through the whole 70mins of pushing I kept screaming at OH, "Dont you even think about looking down there! You'll never touch me again!",lol.
After 35hours of labor when epi was eventually put in I kept telling anesthesiologist how I had just fallen in love with him and wanted to marry him.
Oh and making a cleaner take me to the loo after my shot of pethidine, poor poor woman
x
merlotgirl
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LOVE this thread.. Been chuckling away and my DH wants to know what's so funny..!!
As for me, well after they finally(!) gave me some pethidine I told DH that he should pay for it using the garden vouchers that were in my handbag... WTF!!?
As for me, well after they finally(!) gave me some pethidine I told DH that he should pay for it using the garden vouchers that were in my handbag... WTF!!?
TennisGal
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I walked in ready for induction...telling all and sundry that I wasn't doing pain relief. Fast forward, I was asking whether they could knock me out! I remember shouting 'just get my baby out safely, it doesn't matter about me'.
I also got stuck in a bath. Like some kind of beached walrus.
I also wanted an in depth and entirely non-sensical debate as to how women managed to give birth in the old days.
I asked DH to bring the cat in, as I was scared someone would steal cat from garden. Whaaaat???
I also got stuck in a bath. Like some kind of beached walrus.
I also wanted an in depth and entirely non-sensical debate as to how women managed to give birth in the old days.
I asked DH to bring the cat in, as I was scared someone would steal cat from garden. Whaaaat???
A
annawrigley
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I screamed "GET OUT OF THERE YOU LITTLE FUCKER!!!" pushing when he got stuck (he got stuck at the shoulders coming out).
That's the first thing I ever said to my son :/ To be fair, my labour was 3 days long so I was fed up.
That's the first thing I ever said to my son :/ To be fair, my labour was 3 days long so I was fed up.
Well.....
When I woke up in labor I called the hospital, they said take paracetamol and have a bath......3 baths later and after almost drowning my OH called them and told them he's bringing me in whether they like it or not etc.
When we get there the midwife asks if I want any pain killers. I tell her damn skippy and climb in the bath. Next came the gas and air which sent me off with the fairies so I started giggling with every contraction. When that stopped killing the pain I had the diamorphine injection........that's when the fun started.
That stuff completely knocked me out. I woke up at one point and said "I'm sure there were more loose panels than this" my OH started laughing at me and I realised I'd been asleep. Started back on the gas and air and fell to sleep with it in my mouth. OH had to take it off me at that point until I woke up and was ok enough to control it myself lol. After the 2nd diamorphine injection I woke up again and told him in a firm slur that "the dogs are BANNED from the paddling pool!" again he started laughing and I made him flick through EVERY channel on the TV before finally saying "everything's shit!". I was in a child like sulk because of that. Because the diamorphine sent me off my knockers I could hear another woman in the middle of giving birth screaming her head off..........I giggled and said "I wonder if I could beat her in a screaming contest". OH said "don't you bloody dare" lol. After that had worn off I was demanding an epidural but the midwife kept telling me no, she couldn't be bothered to take me into the other area to have it done so I ended up threatening the poor woman. The midwife got me to sit on a birthing ball but because I was in back labor it was too painful, OH told me I kicked it across the room in temper and lay back on the bed threatening to get a lawyer on the baby if she didn't hurry up and come out. When they DID take me into the next area to get the epidural they caught a nerve and I accidently booted the midwife. I said sorry and fell to sleep again. Woke up with my sense of humour again and ended up cracking the midwife and my OH up by wiggling my toes and trying to stand up to use the loo.......forgetting I had the epidural. I almost fell on my ass and they struggled to put me back on the bed. After that it's all a blur lol.
EDIT: forgot to mention that my loving OH took a pic of me whilst passed out, sitting on the birthing ball, gas and air in my hand, drooling on the bed.
When I woke up in labor I called the hospital, they said take paracetamol and have a bath......3 baths later and after almost drowning my OH called them and told them he's bringing me in whether they like it or not etc.
When we get there the midwife asks if I want any pain killers. I tell her damn skippy and climb in the bath. Next came the gas and air which sent me off with the fairies so I started giggling with every contraction. When that stopped killing the pain I had the diamorphine injection........that's when the fun started.
That stuff completely knocked me out. I woke up at one point and said "I'm sure there were more loose panels than this" my OH started laughing at me and I realised I'd been asleep. Started back on the gas and air and fell to sleep with it in my mouth. OH had to take it off me at that point until I woke up and was ok enough to control it myself lol. After the 2nd diamorphine injection I woke up again and told him in a firm slur that "the dogs are BANNED from the paddling pool!" again he started laughing and I made him flick through EVERY channel on the TV before finally saying "everything's shit!". I was in a child like sulk because of that. Because the diamorphine sent me off my knockers I could hear another woman in the middle of giving birth screaming her head off..........I giggled and said "I wonder if I could beat her in a screaming contest". OH said "don't you bloody dare" lol. After that had worn off I was demanding an epidural but the midwife kept telling me no, she couldn't be bothered to take me into the other area to have it done so I ended up threatening the poor woman. The midwife got me to sit on a birthing ball but because I was in back labor it was too painful, OH told me I kicked it across the room in temper and lay back on the bed threatening to get a lawyer on the baby if she didn't hurry up and come out. When they DID take me into the next area to get the epidural they caught a nerve and I accidently booted the midwife. I said sorry and fell to sleep again. Woke up with my sense of humour again and ended up cracking the midwife and my OH up by wiggling my toes and trying to stand up to use the loo.......forgetting I had the epidural. I almost fell on my ass and they struggled to put me back on the bed. After that it's all a blur lol.
EDIT: forgot to mention that my loving OH took a pic of me whilst passed out, sitting on the birthing ball, gas and air in my hand, drooling on the bed.
Nel.B
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When I was up on the bed, the midwife had to go get some things. During my next few contractions there was incredible pressure and an urge to poo. I was using gas, I turned to hubby and in my 'off my face' gas talk said "It feels like my arse hole is going to explode".
Then when I was getting stitched, the doctor doing it was pregnant herself and I asked her, again, in my 'off my face' gas talk "Does this worry you, seeing stuff like this and your going to have a baby and all?". I don't think I realised that, yes, she HAS seen this all before and would know what to expect!
Then when I was getting stitched, the doctor doing it was pregnant herself and I asked her, again, in my 'off my face' gas talk "Does this worry you, seeing stuff like this and your going to have a baby and all?". I don't think I realised that, yes, she HAS seen this all before and would know what to expect!
