Fussy Baby Support

[bananaz]

lysh - sorry you've had a rough morning I thought that lots of sucking is actually what stimulates your body to produce more milk, though? My baby is also a "snacker" and my LC told me that the constant sucking would help me build up my supply, even if she's not getting a lot out at the time. This stuff can be so confusing!

Cat_pj - I know what you mean! Seeing people with babies that just calmly "hang out" can make me kind of irritated and jealous. Most of the time my LO needs to be in constant motion just to keep her from screaming (and sometimes even that doesn't work!)

Yesterday was probably the best day we've had since the colic started. She had a few fussy moments and was really hard to settle to bed despite the new routine, but for most of the day she was happy, even in the evening which is VERY unusual. And to make things even better, once I finally did get her to bed she slept for 6 hours straight, woke up for a feed, and then was down for another 3 hours!

Today the grumpiness has returned but it's a lot easier to handle having gotten some rest.

 

[libbylou]

I've been told by a number of nurses, doctors and my midwife that even just comfort sucking will stimulate you to supply more milk

 

[lysh]

I thought the more they sucked the better too........but then I am told when my breasts empty they are signaled to produce more? Who knows!!! I made a bunch of Mother's Milk tea to drink today and had half a beer. I am not sure when I will have time to bake cookies though lol. With a fussy baby, easier said than done! My mother in law came over today and I spent the time catching up on chores and actually taking a long enough shower that I could shave my legs!!!!!

bananaz- That is wonderful to hear!!!! Hopefully you will start seeing more days like that. I know some people say their babies are colicky for way past 3 months, but hopefully for a majority that is not the case.

cat- Yeah, I guess we are more likely to have spirited toddlers!!!!!! I see these nice, calm babies all the time.....not ours! lol My LO cannot even take a nap without wiggling around and tossing her arms about.

 

[aliss]

Spirited toddlers are awesome, I promise. Not boring, very active, they do actually sleep (7pm-6am, 3 hour afternoon nap straight), lots of dancing, yelling, singing, will wander off to strangers. Spirited babies, not so much fun, but now I'm reaping the benefits!

Is it worth it living with endless colic in the beginning? Lol I don't know. But I find other toddlers rather boring compared to mine.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Aliss - that's a relief to hear, thanks! I was worrying about this only yesterday and how I'll cope with his energy for years to come!

Lysh - sorry you've had a rough time with the pumping. Hope it improves for you hun. I've totally been there and remember the crushed look on DH's face when it was clear my supply had disappeared. Made me feel awful. Just remember your lo has benefitted so much from the bm you've already worked so hard to give.

Well after a few ok nights I fear we've put a spanner in the works. We travelled down to my parents last night and it totally messed with the tiny semblance of a routine I'd created. Not good for this little baby... Also all day yest he refused to be put down so I ended up wearing him all day in order to get anything done. Exhausted!!

 

[bananaz]

Well after a few ok nights I fear we've put a spanner in the works. We travelled down to my parents last night and it totally messed with the tiny semblance of a routine I'd created. Not good for this little baby... Also all day yest he refused to be put down so I ended up wearing him all day in order to get anything done. Exhausted!!

Oh no, I hate when that happens. You finally have things figured out and then you have to change them! Well, fingers crossed that your LO settles back into the regular routine easily.

 

[Cat_pj]

Spirited toddlers are awesome, I promise. Not boring, very active, they do actually sleep (7pm-6am, 3 hour afternoon nap straight), lots of dancing, yelling, singing, will wander off to strangers. Spirited babies, not so much fun, but now I'm reaping the benefits!

Is it worth it living with endless colic in the beginning? Lol I don't know. But I find other toddlers rather boring compared to mine.

OMG I'm SO jealous of this. I'm placating my toddler all night with boobie, and I'm lucky to get 45 mins nap in the late morning! Its 7:30pm until 6am with multiple wake ups....if we're lucky!

 

[LittleOnes]

Lysh - mine is a 'snacker' as well - he still eats practically hourly somedays, and he'll take what he wants and then stop, which may not be "all" thats in that breast. Your breasts never really empty, but they come close and yes that is also part of what tells your body to make more. Along with the suckling. You're doing great! But its definitely hard, especially in the beginning.

Mrs butterfly - traveling is so hard! It can totally mess us up as far as the small amount of predictability with these fussy ones. BUT to me, getting out there and getting a change of scenery is just as important and keeps us sane.

Yesterday was a pretty good day, had two decent naps in the morning (1 hour, then ~40 min, a marathon as far as mu kid is concerned) because I wore him in my wrap while doing some things and he enjoyed it. Then I had SIL watch him while DH and I went to a wedding, he did great and we had a great time getting out. It was SO much easier to deal with any fussiness through the night and this morning because I had such a nice break. My boobs were ginorm by the end of the night though

 

[lysh]

aliss- Good to hear what can come in the future! I also sometimes wonder what temperament this lo will have as she grows!

MrsButterfly- Thanks for the words of encouragement. We are still working on it, but it is challenging and very uncertain which is hard to deal with. I hope your LO can get back into schedule soon..it is hard when things are changed up.

Cat- Oh jeez- now that is not very promising! lol

littleones- Glad you got a break!!! I think breaks are healthy, especially when raising a fussy baby. Tomorrow is my birthday so my MIL is going to watch LO so DH and I go out to dinner tonight. It will be my first fun outing since DD was born!

Last night DD slept better than I did. I was just feeling extra anxious last night and had a hard time sleeping. My poor baby has been spitting up like crazy though since last night yet I really did not eat anything different from the usual. Poor thing, she is so uncomfortable today.

 

[LittleOnes]

Just found this and thought you would all be interested. Its an old post from another board:

The 10 Best Things About a High Needs Baby

When you have a quiet moment today, check out her post and let it give you the bright side of things! Deep breath and keep on

 

[bananaz]

Just found this and thought you would all be interested. Its an old post from another board:

The 10 Best Things About a High Needs Baby

When you have a quiet moment today, check out her post and let it give you the bright side of things! Deep breath and keep on

Thanks for posting that. It's nice to see a slightly different perspective, and I think she makes a lot of good points.

I have two friends who got pregnant around the same time I did and they both had "easy" babies that they can tote around their daily lives kind of like handbags. On the one hand I'm definitely a little jealous and wish I had that kind of freedom, but on the other hand I'd have to think my LO is benefitting from the constant attention and interaction she demands from us. Or at least that's what I tell myself!

 

[lizzywiz]

It is so nice to read all of your posts, ladies

My baby doesn't have colic, she just cries a lot. She was born wide eyed and awake and hasn't wanted to close her eyes since! She doesn't particularly like being held or anything specific except for movement - bouncing, walking, jiggling, etc. for about 30 minutes of every hour awake, probably- my back is killing me!

She has had periods of better sleep but her sleep is hit or miss now. She does usually sleep for 4 hours stretches at night, so I am grateful for that. Sometimes she will go right down and sometimes, usually twice a day, she will need hours of bouncing to stop crying and go to sleep.

She has gotten better as she gets older, but she is still fussy and I still struggle with people wondering why she is always crying. I HATE it when people say, "My baby never cried like that," or they tell me to let her CIO or the best, that she is "spoiled". Honestly, she was just born this way.
Anyone else dealing with some anger or frustration? Any tips? I hate feeling aggravated with her and plus, it doesn't help.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Lizzywiz - its my absolute bugbear when people tell me that I'm spoiling lo. Drives me absolutely crazy. Do they think I want to spend every hour of the day jiggling my little boy around to prevent a total meltdown?! Makes me so cross. And I get frustrated with my boy at times too. Think it's unavoidable when there is so many tears and screams during a day. I always feel so guilty after I've been like that though. I know it's not his fault but it's so hard sometimes.

Well ladies it's my birthday this weekend and me and DH are having a night away while my parents look after the baby. So an uninterrupted nights sleep beckons! But, I actually miss my baby so so much! Bet I wake up every hour as well wondering where he is!

 

[bumpycat]

lizzywiz - I had that this afternoon. LO had worked himself up into an awful overtired/gas pain screaming session and nothing I could do would calm him down. I felt so frustrated and thought I was losing my mind. I put him in his cot and left for 5 minutes, hating myself the entire time. He's not really stopped screaming since then. OH has taken LO out in the car. It's the first night LO and I are home after a week with the in-laws (who were wonderful amazing help) and I missed OH so much. We'd made good progress with sleeping the last few nights and I wanted OH to see that, but it's all gone to shit. Now he's probably just as upset and frustrated as me, and wishing we'd stayed away. I hate my life tonight.

 

[lysh]

bananaz- I had to laugh when I read "they both had "easy" babies that they can tote around their daily lives kind of like handbags." Yeah....not our babes! lol I am afraid to go anywhere....so I barely do. I get a bit envious myself....one of my friends who has a 10 month old could not believe that I cannot put my LO down without her screaming or that a swing could not rock her to sleep or entertain her.

lizzywiz- I know how you feel......I went through a period where I was so frustrated with my DD and then I would feel SO GUILTY because it is not her fault. I just keep trying to remind myself that she is not trying to manipulate us. When I get frustrated I try to switch my thinking to empathy.....whatever causes the crying could be a pain they cant even tell us about. Believe me, I have my moments still but they are not as frequent as they were at the beginning. Also, if you can get a break, take it. My mom and MIL try to help as much as they can and that gives me a 'hands free' break. My DH also takes shifts- it helps.

MrsButterfly- haha, I agree....they tell us we spoil our babies like we are thrilled to constantly be 'on attention and on duty'. Once again it is those judging a situation they are not familiar with.

bumpycat- I am sorry that you had such a tough day. Sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward then 4 steps back. I had to put my LO one down and walk away for a few minutes too....sometimes we need to take a few deep breaths to deal with the constant crying.

 

[MrsButterfly]

Bumpycat - sorry you've had such an awful day. I had a day just like that earlier this week. I start to worry on days like that that DH really regrets having a baby at all as he just comes home from work to a screaming child, frazzled (and often v grumpy) wife and a house looking like a bombsite. Really hope you have a better day tomorrow

 

[lysh]

MrsButterfly....I sometimes worry about that too! I wonder if my DH wants to run for the hills (after all, I sometimes want to run for the hills). He assures me he does not.

By the way, happy birthday! When is your birthday exactly? Mine is tomorrow...the 19th! I am not excited about turning 34, but it is nice to have an excuse to get away for a break that does not involve grocery shopping (usually that is my break from the house). I am supposed to be leaving for dinner now, but waiting on DH (I am always the one on time lol)

 

[bananaz]

bumpycat - sorry you've had such a rough day. I hope things have gotten better since then. Like I said in your other thread, don't beat yourself up about needing to set baby down and walk away for a little bit. I know I have a hard time doing that as well but sometimes it's just what you have to do. In the end your baby will benefit when you come back calmer and more collected.

MrsButterfly and lysh - Happy birthdays!! Hope you have a nice, relaxing time


Today has been a total mess for us. LO has been screaming pretty much since the moment she woke up and nothing I've done seems to make a difference for more than a few minutes. Thankfully my parents have been around to help, otherwise I would be a total mental case right now.

Whatever's bothering her has screwed with her sleep too - I haven't been able to get her to stay down for more than 25 minutes at a time, and as of right now she's been awake for more than three hours. I seriously just don't know what to do with her anymore. It feels like every time I make a little progress it all falls apart and is even worse than before

 

[staralfur]

I have what seems to be the world's most easily overstimulated baby! It's been just terrible for the past month or so. If there's anyone other than me and OH in a room it's pretty much a guaranteed meltdown. Even if it's right after a nap or first thing in the morning, when she shouldn't be tired...

But she's also a horrible sleeper. I've often wondered if maybe it would be better to tough it out and get her to sleep in her crib alone even though she hates it. And I love cosleeping too, I just wonder if she'd eventually sleep better on her own.

But I'd probably have to let her cry in that case. Not leave her, but sit with my hand on her chest and let her cry. But that's so so hard and I don't want to. I'm just at a loss!

My friends all seem to have the most chill/friendly babies. And we bring my LO to get-togethers and she just cries and cries. Won't let anyone else hold her. It's frustrating!

Sometimes, though, I think about how comforted she is by me and how much she just wants to be close to me and it makes it all worth it. It's not going to last forever!

 

[MrsButterfly]

Staralfur - I love your point about the closeness between you and lo. That is honestly the only thought that keeps me sane sometimes - I really hope it turns out true for us all and we end up with children who are so incredibly bonded with us. We will totally deserve it!! I'm also thinking of trying lo in his cot this week although like you I've come to love co-sleeping.

Bananaz - sorry you've had a rough day. Hopefully baby will get a good nights sleep after exhausting themselves and tomorrow will be better. And it's always a relief when help is around at the right time!

Lysh - happy birthday! Mine is also today Apparently my lo slept to his usual routine last night but wouldn't go in his Moses basket after his 3am feed so my mum sat up watching him sleep on the main bed! I had a couple of panics in the night where I woke up and worried where he was and then remembered he wasn't here! And despite a full nights sleep, I don't feel as incredible from it as I imagined I would. My body is obviously totally accustomed to my broken sleep already!

Wishing all you lovely ladies a great, chilled day