General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[Keepsmiling91]

Oooh Kit, sorry I’m not completely clued up on the numbers but that still sounds low risk? So they think ur odds are 1 in every 340 babies? I’ve heard a lot of people get a higher than average Risk result with those tests and it turn out to be nothing. You are not wrong for venting your feelings, that is how you feel right now and it’s totally valid. Sending lots of love to you xx

quick update - FRER BFN.. all good x

 

[kittykat7210]

Oooh Kit, sorry I’m not completely clued up on the numbers but that still sounds low risk? So they think ur odds are 1 in every 340 babies? I’ve heard a lot of people get a higher than average Risk result with those tests and it turn out to be nothing. You are not wrong for venting your feelings, that is how you feel right now and it’s totally valid. Sending lots of love to you xx

quick update - FRER BFN.. all good x

View attachment 1073968

thanks keeps, we’ve decided to fork out for the NIPT test, the results will be either <1/10,000 or >99/100. It’s £400 which we really can’t afford but I can’t deal with another 6 months of constant worry. I already feel like I can no longer enjoy the pregnancy and it honestly feels awful. I was so excited and it literally feels heartbreaking, I wish we hadn’t told people we were pregnant. I don’t want the questions right now

 

[DobbyForever]

Kit. Big hugs.

Spoiler

I know that’s scary. Can you get another test with a discount? I know here we have some gyns that do a cash discount or a payment plan. If you feel that strongly, I think knowing would better long run.

You’re valid. I had to walk A today and cried because I feel like I’ve been cheated out of motherhood with his delays and ASD and SPDs. Like I love him and wouldn’t change anything and I couldn’t imagine nor do I wish I had another kid. But I do wish I had him without the delays. Then I feel like a crap mom for feeling that way but it’s true

 

[DobbyForever]

Keeps idk if it’s my phone but I see a shadow of a line

 

[wookie130]

Well...Kitty...honestly, if these results are from the nuchal translucency scan/test, this can be HIGHLY inaccurate. The Harmony, Verify, or MaterniT21 are very, very accurate, so if you take one of those, you'll know for certain if baby has Down Syndrome, or one of the other chromosomal conditions that those test for, such as Edwards, Pateau's, etc.

I am sorry you're so stressed about this. Some of my very favorite people on Earth have Down Syndrome. It is a different parenting journey, but it can be wonderful. Parenting ANY child is challenging for different reasons. Good luck! One day at a time. ❤

 

[Flueky88]

Kitty sorry you are feeling distressed about the results. The odds are still greatly in your favor of not having down syndrome. If 1/100 is 1% then 1/340 is less than 1% chance. Pretty good odds if you ask me. Is there another test other than harmony you could do?

 

[shaescott]

Kitty I would ask your OB if there’s any other tests you can do that are cheaper? Maybe one that tests baby’s DNA to know for sure about any trisomy?

Also keeps are you sure it was negative irl cuz if I up the contrast and stuff I get this

it doesn’t look pink to me so maybe an evap but just double check maybe?

 

[kittykat7210]

There’s the amniocentesis test which makes sure but they’ll only do if I get a high NIPT (harmony) test. Which I will do if I get said high result. It’s just waiting for the results of the NIPT (I get the test on Sunday) then going from there. It’s just a bit of a shock really, I’m only 24 so the risk being so high for my age is really worrying me! There’s nothing I can do to change it so I guess it’s a waiting game!

 

[DobbyForever]

Ugh. I was throwing myself a pity party thinking about how depressed I am and A knocked something over on his foot. Had to take him to the ER to get stitches. I feel like such a shit mom. He had to miss gym tomorrow and school on Monday (at least). My mom blames my stepdad, but really I should have been paying closer attention. Now I have no idea how to keep him from ripping them out either

 

[kittykat7210]

Dobby we all feel like a shit mum sometimes, I know I do! You can’t keep your eye on them all the time honestly, I’m sorry A had to get stitches though, maybe socks or a bandage to stop him fiddling? They are itchy though so I think it will be difficult!

you’re doing a great job Dobs, honestly

 

[DobbyForever]

Thanks Kit. He pulls off the sock and bandage as soon as you stop looking. We have five adults here and he’s already gone through all the bandages the doctor gave us lol

 

[kittykat7210]

Thanks Kit. He pulls off the sock and bandage as soon as you stop looking. We have five adults here and he’s already gone through all the bandages the doctor gave us lol

I know it’s a bit girly but would he be able to remove tights?

 

[claireybell]

Kitty, Sorry your stressing about the Nuchal test results my love, the % is still very low, the thing with our nhs tests is that its based also on Hormones aswell, they apparently don’t look for the babys blood in the mothers blood as they simply cant afford to do it, this is why the NIPT test is sooo expensive! If you ask the test tech at your NIPT scan today, they’ll explain better, i had it done & its def worth it, plus they test for other stuff aswell & gender results come with it but if u didn’t want to know that just yet you can request them to be deleted from the results but just to put it out there, a lady up Rileys school had all the nhs tests & was very very low risk & even at her 20wk scan nothing was picked up & she gave birth to a baby girl with DS & they were shocked so it can never be accurate. Your not a bad person hun big hugs & hope the test goes well today, results are back usually within a week

Keeps, i can def see something on the strip test & my fuzzy line eye something on the frer lol! I miss testing haha! Ive never had a coil fitted but my sister had the standard copper coil with no hormones etc & she got on fine with it

Dobby Don’t beat yourself up about it hun, kids are kids & even in a huuuge room of people they always tend to get injured somehow lol! I always have moment of im a crap mum, im tired, is it their bedtime yet? Lol! moaning loads but as parents we never stop, i wasnt watching Hayden the other day crawling one room to the other & he face planted the floor & his tooth split his lip blood everywhere! I felt awful.. The tights idea that kit suggested seems pretty good for covering the stitches up

 

[claireybell]

Me trying to get a nice pic of all 3 of them looking at the camera

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo kit didn’t consider tights. They might be too tight though. Idk. Doctor said nothing too tight. That’s why I don’t think he can go to school since shoes seem like they’d be too tight and open toe is not allowed.

Cb that pic is so classic

Thanks. I guess the guilt is just I was staring right at him and I could have intervened but I thought he was fine because it didn’t look like he was going to actually touch it. Oh well.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

CB - Kinda. Last I knew, Alex was 31.5lbs and a little over 36" in July. Matthew was 22" at birth and 12lbs 6oz as of a few days ago. So, there's some very obvious difference in size, but I expect Matty to be a pretty good size soon enough. lol
And I feel your pain with taking a pic of multiple kids. They're lookin' cute though.

Flueky - Just to clarify, that's 6-10oz total in a day. I wish I was producing that much after each feeding. Omg. lol

kitty - (Dunno how to use the "spoiler" feature, so I'll just say this publicly.) So sorry you're dealing with the possibility of a DS baby. Your initial results do seem pretty low, if you think about just the percentage. Keeping my FX that your NIPT results come back all clear. I have no doubt that you could handle it though. And, if you wanna feel a little better about thinking you're a bad mom, when I got the "boy" result from my SneakPeek test with Matthew, for a split second, I thought about "getting rid of it and starting over." That's some shitty thinking right there. I know raising a boy vs. raising a child with DS are very different things. Just don't stress out so much until you know for sure.

Dobby - That could have happened to any of us. We all know you're doing your best and sometimes accidents happen. Can't really offer advice on getting him to leave his stitches alone, but hopefully he heals up quickly.

AFM, Matthew's appetite is still kicking my ass. But, as I mentioned above, he's already 12lbs 6oz. He's got some baby acne and an on and off blocked tear duct, but otherwise he's doing ok. Alex is now only going to daycare 3 days a week (W, Th, F), so he'll be home for the next couple days. On top of that, my mom volunteers at the hospital for 4-5 hours every Monday, so I'll be alone with both boys for several hours tomorrow; which is the longest time to date. That probably sounds pretty lame compared to some of you other moms. lol. AFM personally. I still have like 25lbs left to lose to get back to my pre-pg weight, but sitting on my ass, eating chocolate probably isn't helping. And SO finally made an appt to speak to a mortgage consultant at his bank this Friday. Thank God. This shipping 2 kids back and forth between 2 households several times a week is BS. -.-

 

[pacificlove]

Kitty sorry you are going through this scare. I don't think you are a bad mom for having those thoughts, I have seen the extreme of a handicapped child and I know that he was a huge strain on the parents emotionally, financial, the parents relationship and in any other aspect of his relatively short life. By the time the boy was a teen, neither parent could pick him up anymore so he went into full time care... He passed away in his early 20s from pneumonia and complications of it. The parents felt heart broken, relief and guilty all at the same time, this is not something I want to ever go through or put my children through. Meanwhile his older sibling, was on the back burner until the parents passed on the care to nurses and a care home later.
We had very similar thoughts when we did the testing with our babies, and my thoughts were what if I die,who will take care of my special needs child to my standards.

Dobs, you are not alone on the feeling like a shitty parent. We almost had an emergency room visit ourselves last week but walked away with scrapes only ...
As for A, what about a toddler onsie/pyjamas with feet on it?
I'd also stick a few band-aids on other places on his body so he is more distracted with those then focusing on the "real one".

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby you aren't a shit mom. Things happen. As for keeping him from messing with the stitches, if A is like v he can undress from everything..... including the zip up sleepers/pajamas. I did see where they have ones that zip in the back rather than the front.

CB love the pic! I can't imagine trying to get 3 to cooperate for pics. H is oblivious, N picking her nose, and R smiling for the camera


Pretty I think 6 to 10 oz/day in addition to breastfeedingis amazing. Any you pump in addition to nursing is technically an oversupply. Not sure how many times a day you pump but 1/2oz to 2 oz is normal volume after a feeding.

I remember feeling petrified of having both girls by myself for 8.5 hours. You'll do fine. Oh and yay for SO working on buying a house.

Beautiful pics! Goodluck losing weight. I stopped trying so that it wouldn't effect my supply.

 

[claireybell]

Pretty thats amazing with BF & pumping, go you! Hes still very little, isn’t it for the first 6-8wks or so they’re munching constantly to get your supply & demand up & then it’ll start levelling out Can i ask why SO doesn’t come to you for those days a week instead of packing up & carting yourself & the two boys over to him? Does this not disrupt Matthews sleeping environment for naps etc for routine? I bet Alex is loving daycare & it gives u some one2one baby time

Anyone else got their crimbo tree up yet?

Kitty hope NIPT test went ok hun

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Flueky - I usually pump 2-3 times a day and I wait at least an hour after his most recent feed, but preferably longer. And things actually went pretty well when I had them by myself. I was able to get Alex fed before his nap (which he didn't fight me on) and Matthew even took a nap at the same time. So, I was able to just chill and work on my crocheting. I have until XMas to finish a blanket for Matthew and one for my niece, who's due in 8 days.
Hope you and your girls are doing well.

CB - Honestly, I just think it's cuz he's not "comfortable" at my place. When we're there, we're kind of confined to either the living room (with a less than comfortable couch and not much privacy cuz my mom putters around) or my bedroom (where my mattress is kind of on it's last legs). Plus his computer and all that is at his place. I fully understand and I'm pretty comfortable in both places, but wrangling a 2 year old twice a day and making sure I have everything I need (breast pump, change of clothes, etc) and getting it all to and from underground parking is just annoying. I think Matty is too young to be on a schedule for naps yet, or am I wrong? Either way, he seems to sleep fairly well regardless of where he is, so that's good. Alex has been kind of clingy the last few times I've dropped him off cuz he's now in a new room, but they tell me he stops crying pretty quickly and is fine for the rest of the day. And ya, the one on one time is nice.
Is "crimbo tree" a typo or a UK thing? lol Either way, no XMas tree up at my house yet. Maybe next week.

Ugh, tonight just as I got Matty to a point that I thought I could lay him down and he'd stay asleep, the fire alarm goes off for the whole building. At 11:30pm and it turned out to be false. He's finally asleep in his pack and play now though. And I gotta get to work on his passport ASAP as we're probably leaving for Florida in about 25 days.