General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[gigglebox]

Hmm my link isn't working either for my thread will have to investigate later. I want to put it all into a word document anyway so I don't lose it...hopefully it's not too late!

 

[shaescott]

I found my old journal in “threads I started”, so they still exist, the url just changed! I tried to update mine in my signature so I’m about to see if it worked after I post this lol

Edit: it did work!

 

[shaescott]

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! Happy New Year’s Eve!
It’s crazy to think that tomorrow I’ll have been alive during 4 different decades (90s, 00s, 10s, 20s).

 

[pacificlove]

Happy new year to you all as well!

Shae...you make me feel old! It means I have been alive for 5 decades. I bet most of us moms on this chat were born in the 80s!

5 decades for me and I am not even in my mid 30s.

 

[kittykat7210]

I’m 1995

Happy new year to all, may 2020 seemed like so long ago last week, it feels closer now!!

 

[claireybell]

I haven’t really read back ladies, Christmas has been just busy lol! I will read bk later etc but i just wanted to say i hope everyone has a lovely new year whatever they are doing I have Wine & SO is out getting us a kebab atm lol how romantic haha X

 

[kittykat7210]

Evie’s finally had her growth spurt!! She’s now 25lbs and 90cm which is the 13th and 62nd percentiles respectively!! She’s grown loads in height and put on a little weight which has calmed me down because she hadn’t put on any weight in nearly 6 months a few months ago. We’ve upped her calorie intake for the last month probably not in the healthiest way (lots of cream/full fat cream cheese etc) but at least she’s now gaining, she still loves her fruit and veg but we have to limit the amount she has or tell her she can have more if she eats some of the other bits on her plate, which I think is possibly the oddest thing (‘you can have more carrots if you finish your mashed potato’) it doesn’t feel normal for a 2 year old but I shouldn’t complain!!

 

[DobbyForever]

Kit A is the same way lol. He won’t touch sweets. It’s crazy. And bad for me because then I eat them

sorry work has been insane. My ex is trying his best to annoy me with the last of his fleeting power. A broke out in hives yesterday and the day before. And I just squeaked in ‘89 here

 

[Flueky88]

Sorry ladies, I've been busy with work, life. I read but not have time to post. I'll be training my replacement next week and hope to start my work at home job in a few weeks. Soooo looking forward to that.

Dh and I have decided to sell our home either in the spring or summer. We want 4 bedrooms. We are undecided about #3..... well I want a third and he's unsure. I'm not pressing right now as I don't feel ready for #3. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals though as he isn't pulling out and we aren't using birth control of any kind. I test monthly to make sure I'm not pregnant as my cycles haven't returned yet.

A cold seems to be bouncing back and forth between me and the girls right now, ugh. Hoping we are all well soon.

Christmas was fun and was glad to see V really enjoy it.

Jez yup I'm an 80s baby, 88 to be exact

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2020

 

[Fern81]

Hi hi everyone it’s been ages since I’ve checked in! I do read from time to time, it’s insane how all the babies are growing so FAST and that there are a few new ones too!
Well just an update... you won’t believe what I’m about to do... after swearing that we’re “one and done” I’m going to try ivf again for #2! Am I insane? I go back an forth on that one lol.
My appointment is Wednesday 8 Jan to get the results and of my bloodwork and to have an ultrasound to find out if ivf will even be worth it and which protocol we will then be following. I’m at advanced maternal age now (38) so there are many questions.

For those of you who have more than one - is it difficult to go from one to two? IF I manage to have another baby there will be a 4 year gap between them and I’m so used to only having one

 

[pacificlove]

Fern, so nice to see you posting again!

Honestly I haven't found the adjustment from 1-2 being nearly as big as goijg from 0 to 1. You are a parent already, you know what it takes and you approach the whole baby thing a bit more relaxed. Baby just seems to follow the already existing/set house/family schedule. And you aren't as stressed about creating a schedule or changing yours from when it was adults only in the house
That has been my findings.

At 4 years age gap, I think it'll be lovely. Your older one will have enough understanding that you can really get her involved in the daily life of a baby.
We have a 2 1/2 year gap and I make sure that he "helps" to put the baby down for naps (give a kiss and walk him into the room with me and whish him a good sleep). Bring diapers to me and toss them into the garbage. Share snacks aka feed the baby. Bring him toys he can play with when the older one is not ready to share his toy. Etc I would say we have very little jealousy in our house because we keep the older one quite involved.
In fact, he loves to kiss him, regularly asks to hold him and recently has started saying phrases like "I love my brother, he's so cute! Baby is amazing!"
Melts my heart each time!

I wish you the best of luck at your appointment!!!!

 

[Fern81]

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! I’m so glad to see that you are enjoying your boys so much

 

[Keepsmiling91]

So sorry for the selfish post and also tmi pics. But you are always the ladies I turn to with this stuff.

So.. after 10 years of going back to the kids dad due to low confidence / being cheated on non stop, I finally started speaking to this new man who moved in next door. He’s 11 years older than me, has kids, and has really helped boost my confidence. I really enjoy his company and we get on so well. So for the first time in a long time, I done the sensible thing and finally got myself on the pill!! (Big step as the idea of hormones always petrified me!)

anyway.. been feeling super tired, achy boobs.. first month on the pill so put it down to that. Thought I’d try an Asda cheap test jusy to confirm and I got a faint pink line right away. Then this morning I woke up to bleeding and some clots. I read reviews about the ASDA test not being reliable so went out and bought some FRER just to confirm I wasn’t actually pregnant and make me feel better. To my horror with super diluted pee, a second line appeared with in about 30 seconds. I redone the next one a few hours later and same thing. So looks like I’m having a chemical. I’ve never experienced a loss before. And it seems ridiculous to feel sad as I don’t want anymore children, I was actually trying to be sensible! But my heart aches, and figured you ladies would understand. I can’t talk to my neighbour or anyone, so just needed to get it off my chest xx lots of love x

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[kittykat7210]

So sorry for the selfish post and also tmi pics. But you are always the ladies I turn to with this stuff.

So.. after 10 years of going back to the kids dad due to low confidence / being cheated on non stop, I finally started speaking to this new man who moved in next door. He’s 11 years older than me, has kids, and has really helped boost my confidence. I really enjoy his company and we get on so well. So for the first time in a long time, I done the sensible thing and finally got myself on the pill!! (Big step as the idea of hormones always petrified me!)

anyway.. been feeling super tired, achy boobs.. first month on the pill so put it down to that. Thought I’d try an Asda cheap test jusy to confirm and I got a faint pink line right away. Then this morning I woke up to bleeding and some clots. I read reviews about the ASDA test not being reliable so went out and bought some FRER just to confirm I wasn’t actually pregnant and make me feel better. To my horror with super diluted pee, a second line appeared with in about 30 seconds. I redone the next one a few hours later and same thing. So looks like I’m having a chemical. I’ve never experienced a loss before. And it seems ridiculous to feel sad as I don’t want anymore children, I was actually trying to be sensible! But my heart aches, and figured you ladies would understand. I can’t talk to my neighbour or anyone, so just needed to get it off my chest xx lots of love x

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Glad you may have found a new man but I’m sorry about the unexpected loss, I think any kind of loss whether it’s a known/wanted pregnancy or not has an effect on a woman. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this and don’t invalidate your feelings by thinking you shouldn’t be having them. I hope everything starts going better for you and this new man is far far better than the old one xx

 

[DobbyForever]

I think Kit said it perfectly. How are you now? I’ve had a fair deal of early bleeding though so are you positive it’s a cp? I’m sorry to ask but given you’re on the pill now it’d be good to know definitively. But please do talk. Safe space here

fern hope the appointment went well!

 

[wookie130]

Fern! Good luck at your appointment on the 8th! I found going from 1-2 wasn't outrageously hard, but my kids were only 17 mos apart, which meant I had 2 under 2 for several months. It was interesting. There was a 3 year gap between my 2nd and third babies, which was far easier.

Keeps- So glad to hear you're seeing someone who respects and appreciates you, and treats you in the way you deserve to be treated. I would keep testing. I bled immediately with my 2nd and 3rd babies, but remained pregnant. Keep testing, and if that line continues to darken, even while you're bleeding, call your doctor right away. There could be a few different reasons for that, but in any case, you should be seen. If your tests get lighter, and you continue to bleed, I would suspect that it indeed is a chemical. Just keep testing, and monitor those lines. I'm sorry you're in limbo right now. I've had a chemical, and it was a sad, difficult experience. Hopefully you'll get it figured out soon.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hi Ladies. I was finally able to make some time to read back and reply (at 1am), so I'll do my best here.

Keeps - I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this loss. I can't think of anything else to say that hasn't already been said. But you know that we're here for you whenever you need us.

Fern - Hi there. Good luck with your appt and FX you get a sticky bean very soon. I have a 2yo and 2mo and dealing with a new baby again was sort of like riding a bike. It's still early days for me, but I feel like I'm adjusting ok, all things considered. a 4 year age gap should be good though. I'm 5 years older than my sister and I feel like I was pretty helpful with her. I'm sure you'll adjust to it well.

Gigs - Sorry to hear about your dad. How is he doing right now?

Re: decades. I'm also born in '88, so 5 decades for me too. lol

AFM, oh man, I feel like there's so much I could say right now, but I don't wanna type a novel.
So, just before Matthew turned 8 weeks, he had his first proper Dr's appt (and round of shots). We were told he was 14lbs 2oz, 61cm (24in) long, head circ of 41cm. All of which is the 99th percentile. We're gonna have us a big boy. Alex better watch his back. lol
SO has told the realtors that we will actively be looking at houses once we get home from FL next week. So, it looks like things will be getting "real" very soon.
Speaking of FL, it's a little surreal to be back in this house... SO's mom's house... the house were I MC'd in Dec '18. Spending most of the night on the toilet and then nearly passing out. And now I'm back with a healthy 2mo. So crazy.
And speaking of moving in with SO, there've been times recently when I've wondered if it's a good idea or something that's gonna last. He just has a kind of short temper when it comes to the kids. He doesn't seem to get that if Alex is acting up while we're out during "nap time", it's cuz he's tired and doesn't know what to do with himself cuz he's only 2. He'll try giving Matthew a soother if he's crying and if it doesn't work after 10 seconds, there's nothing he can do. He falls asleep all over the place, spends the majority of his time on his phone or computer, he has all these plans and ideas that he never acts on, rarely cleans and leaves dishes and pop cans all over. It's way too early to discuss one more baby, but if he says absolutely not, then I'm done. -.-

 

[kittykat7210]

Debating taking my rings off, struggled a little to get them off this morning which makes me sad. I’m only 20 weeks and still weigh less than pre pregnancy but I guess I have some water retention! I don’t want to take them off, I look really young and I don’t want horrible comments from people like I did last time. I can still wear them but I’m worried that I will have to get them cut off if I’m not careful and I really really don’t want that!!

 

[shaescott]

Just replying to this page because I’m in Florida on vacation and did a quick read. I read the previous page a while back but can’t remember what was said.

Fern fx’d for you for baby #2! I don’t mean to pry, but are you and your husband still together? Last I remember you were separated. Totally understand if too personal, feel free to ignore.

Keeps I echo others above, keep testing to ensure the line is getting lighter, not darker. If it’s getting darker despite the bleeding, call your doctor. I’m glad you found a man you get along well with, I know you were having trouble moving past the girls’ and Theo’s dad. You are worthy of love and kindness.

Kitty I would recommend you get one of those cheap silicone rings a size bigger than your regular size so you still have a ring but it won’t cut into your finger or have to be cut off, and if it does have to get cut off it’s no biggie.

Pretty I’m sorry you’re struggling with your SO. I hope everything works out for the best.

 

[Fern81]

Shae- yep after enormous ups and downs we are still together and things have been good for quite a while now (but I’m still nervous that another baby could upset things... he isn’t worried about that though but then again he isn’t the one who suffered!) We went for counseling and it helped a lot. I would honestly turn to counseling again immediately if necessary because it helped us both to recognize so many of each other’s needs.

Keeps I’m so happy that you have found a nice man! I agree to keep testing, many women bleed in early pg apparently? But if it’s a cp I’m so sorry, a loss is a loss no matter how far along and it’s still very sad.

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. My appt is tomorrow and I alternate between tears and feeling guilty/selfish for ttc again as I don’t want to upset DS, and then 10 min later I’m googling baby nurseries. No one knows we’re doing this except our best friends. My family overreacts every time I mention that G might like a sibling, they think it’s a horrible idea due to me suffering from depression. Which I’m also worried about. Aaarrrgghh the doctor just has to have enough time and patience for all my ranting, tears and questions tomorrow!