General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

J omggggg that’s an obvious progression! So exciting!!!

Dobs she’s Gen Z actually, the early-mid 20-somethings are Gen Z now. I’m Gen Z technically, just missed millennial

Flueks my best guess is she got pregnant accidentally, had a loss and said f it lets try for a baby (she was on the pill before) and used the picture cuz she liked it. She tested a bunch so she wouldn’t have assumed she was pregnant without testing. But either way I’m happy for her and hope things go well for her and the baby.
Dump meals sound smart, I just always forget to put them in the crockpot in the morning because I sleep late

 

[DobbyForever]

J Congrats on the digital!!! That’s so exciting! Looking forward to more updates

Fluek that’s awesome that you can freeze meals! Definitely one less thing to worry about. Hopefully they last a while so you can get the much needed r&r and bonding time. Are the girls excited?

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae I didn’t even know gen z was a thing I’m so behind the times. I just saw a teacher joke video about teen slang and I just don’t understand this whole “sksk” thing. I can get behind stickering my hydro flask and saving turtles, but I just cannot picture any reason to ever say “sksk” verbally. Anyway veered way off topic lol

I guess I’m just confused. I can understand an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating, and I know some people “just know” right away... but why would a couple that is still sorting out their life actively ttc at like 2-3 months of dating? Like you’ve been dating less than the length of a pregnancy trimester but feel confident to committing to raising a child together? Unless I misread how long they’ve been together. I obviously have no qualms about judging people lol ironically cuz I clearly make poor decisions. It’s probably my worst quality (the judging) lol

 

[Flueky88]

Shae, yes I'm going to have to have DH remind to thaw overnight in fridge and start up in the morning. I've never done them because of lack of freezer space but so excited.

Dobby I've got 2 left to make and that's cause I need more chicken, but once they are done. I'm thinking we will have around a month's worth of dinners. Lunch will probably be sandwhiches, and DH will probably do breakfast. He does amazing homemade biscuits

Victoria understands to a point and I think she is a bit excited. Serena is clueless but I think she'll have a hard time adjusting since she's my cuddlebug. V loves to help though so think she'll enjoy fetching a diaper for me. She also loves seeing babies.

I'm way out of touch with new slang. I suppose it's a useful thing we have google and YouTube to learn.

 

[DobbyForever]

Aww yeah. Hopefully V adjusts/sees big sis helping out and wants to join in as a helper. And yay for homemade biscuits! So glad you’ve got a good system set for meals and got that freezer space!

seriously. And urban dictionary haha. I’m always looking things up

 

[shaescott]

Dobs exactly, it was a new relationship, which is why I’m so confused! She’s a junior in college so definitely still sorting out life and had just got out of a different relationship and into this one. I’ve never used sksk before, I googled it and apparently it’s from just typing sksksk as a replacement for laughter or some other reaction. I’ve never heard anyone say it irl and most of the people I know are Gen Z. I have to use urban dictionary frequently for new terms, I remember googling “Yeet” in 2017 though now I use it all the time, oops

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol thanks. I feel better now. I stopped adopting new slang when I wasn’t ready to trade in “on point” for “on fleek”. Felt like Regina George with my fifth graders at the time, “Stop trying to make on fleek happen! It’s not going to happen!” I’m a thumb typer on smart phones but back in the nokia days I used two fingers so I guess I get it? Idk. Whatever makes the kids happy

yeah I mean I hope for them and their baby it all works out. Just a shame to rush it and struggle.

but seriously at 2-3 months you’re still not passing gas or pooping in front of them!

but just remember the Facebook effect. I’m sure things look glossy and wonderful on social media, but it could be a hot mess irl. Trust your decisions and know your time is coming

 

[JLM73]

You ladies are too funny I've missed you all
Gigs started this thread but it looks like she hasn't been in here in a while??
My laptop died yesterday, so I'll have to search for her YouTube page

I met hubby yesterday and showed him the digi he was all smiles.
I told him Monday,5 days ago, but I think Seeing It on the digi Made It real for him.

I haven't told anyone except you all, hubs, and 2 friends so they would know why I'm not working with them-heavy lifting, chemicals etc.
I'm already stressing tests... Nuchal...amnio... Etc. At46,47 next month, I am going to get them all, but my insurance is giving me headaches
They either won't take new patients here or my preferred doc who I worked with before won't see me until I pay a $300 balance??
I had insurance then so there shouldn't be a balance!
Anyhow....I can't find a CB Weeks anywhere... Haven't seen them here in2 years. Looking at bd dates though I think I'm about5 weeks

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I feel like what middle schoolers say is different from high schoolers which is different from college students, with the slang stuff. Though many common slang terms I’m sure. Most phrases seem to come and go, I haven’t heard people use “on fleek” as much anymore. I heard much more slang freshman year of college but now most people don’t use it often. We reference viral videos frequently, though lol.

I feel like my baby fever is worsened by the fact that if I got pregnant now, I wouldn’t be due until a month after graduation. So my brain is like “you’ll have a college degree before you have a baby, it’s all good!” Except I know after I graduate I have to take the NCLEX and hope I find a job quickly, and they’re not supposed to discriminate on pregnancy but they totally do. But it’s so hard, the hormones just drive me nuts. Life is super frustrating. I know it’s a great privilege that I can go to college and get a degree and all that before starting a family, but sometimes I wish it was more acceptable to not do that and just skip to the family part at a younger age. My mom would burst an aneurysm if I didn’t finish college, probably because she’s a second generation doctor and because she wants me to be able to have a degree that I can use to support myself financially. Totally makes sense, and I don’t at all regret going to college, but sometimes I wish I could revert back to the traditional stay at home mom role (minus the sexism and racism etc in the 1900s). I know it’s not at all easy to be a SAHM, I just want to have kids and school prevents that.

J fingers crossed that insurance stuff gets worked out and you can get a good scan soon enough!

 

[DobbyForever]

J is the new patient thing just they are full or Covid? that’s so crazy. Hopefully things get sorted quickly so you can get your testing set up and a scan. So glad hubs is excited! Pregnancy is such a brilliant experience made even sweeter by a supportive partner.

Shae lol yeah true different groups with their slang. And see?! They couldn’t make on fleek happen!

I know what you mean. I think everyone on this thread can relate. And exactly it’s so much harder now as you get close to the end. It’s different for me because with teaching there’s very clearly a “you can lose your job any moment” point vs “you are protected now” point. Not sure how nursing works or really any other field lol. And so true. It’s unfortunately easy to get away with discrimination in the workplace.

You can’t get these years or time back. And kids totally enhance your life in a special way, but enjoy this time and enjoy the kidless time with SO.

Yeah takes a special person to be a SAHM. I can’t do it. I hate homemaking. I hate idle time. And then I’m drained with A having special needs. Work is a break for me. I could do it if he was in school half the day lol.


In other news his gym is offering play dates. I decided since were banned from my mom’s to book a Halloween one. I feel bad because I’m the only person who did, which I understand it’s a calculated risk. Esp since A does not wear a mask. But we have the first session of the day/nobody used the gym yesterday. It’ll just be two teachers, Aiden, and me. I figure it’s the middle class version of renting out Disneyland lol. I would have spent so much more on classes this year/child support is for Aiden. I just don’t want him to look back and have this dark cloud over Halloween this year.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs yeah I’m reminding myself that I really like sleep and being selfish but at the same time I’m like “can I wear a diaphragm over an IUD to test it out and see if sex with one in is okay/it’s easy to use and if it works I can take out the IUD and use the diaphragm with spermicide and temp track and then I proooobably won’t get pregnant but ya never knowwww maybeeee” ugh I’m the worst. I really do want to get off hormonal birth control ASAP but condoms suck and they break and so I’m really looking at the diaphragm for when I’m a bit more financially stable, but honestly I’m quite interested in it now and I’m pretty sure it’s my hormones trying to convince me to trick myself into getting pregnant.

Sorry about the play date thing, it really sucks that kids can’t get the social interaction they need with other kids. At least he’ll have lots of room to run and play.

ETA: I’m seriously going to start marking “high sex drive” every time I seriously consider switching to a diaphragm cuz this has got to be hormonal, I am a logical human being, wtf

 

[DobbyForever]

Yes sleep is amazing. I don’t have any experience with a diaphragm and yeah it does suck you can’t really trial and error with birth control. Hormones definitely are tricky, especially when it’s something you have been waiting for. Gotta love them and hate them

hang on do you still o on your iud? Or is it like bcp and blocks o?

play date went well. I could have brought friends, but I didn’t want to. I just wanted A to play and not stress about him pushing or hitting. Plus my friends don’t social distance. Well, they say they do but we have very different definitions He had so much fun. We stopped by my mom’s to change clothes in the backyard, and so we saw them for a while five minutes. I’d definitely consider taking him again, but it’s like $100 plus I’d want to tip the teachers. But I do feel like if we go often then I’m tempting fate.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I do still O on my IUD, some women don’t and others do, it’s not the main mechanism of action. My uterine lining is crazy thin, I basically have what normal people call spotting or very light flow as my periods, and the IUD damages the sperm and interferes with the egg’s signal that tells the sperm where to go. Clearly it’s worked so far (which I’m happy about but now that I would be graduated when giving birth, I’m less happy about it lol).
I sent a message to my OB/GYN through my patient portal asking hypothetically if it’s possible to test out a diaphragm without taking out the IUD so I can see if it’s comfortable/easy to use without getting the IUD out first. But I know I should wait a while.

I’m glad the play date went well! Sorry it’s expensive though

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooo good call. Hopefully it’s doable. I’d def blame the horny on hormones haha. I’m at a point where I have to actively avoid men mid cycle because I’m attracted to everyone haha. And fxed that if you can test it that it works well for you!

thanks! Today I don’t mind because I just got child support/have money for daycare this month. Plus, we haven’t been in two seasons so much less than if covid hadn’t happened. But idk when the next check will come so back to being frugal.

View attachment 1088951 View attachment 1088952

 

[shaescott]

So my OB/GYN called me and said it’s totally fine to use a diaphragm with the IUD to test it out, BUT they don’t offer diaphragms at my doctor’s office. I called the nearest Planned Parenthood and they said they do offer diaphragms, so I may go to them for that. I know it’s risky but I really want to be off hormonal birth control and let my body do it’s thing. I also know that I’m probably not thinking super logically because of hormones.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oooh that's exciting. I mean idk I trust PP. I'd rather go through my insurance only because I don't want to take resources away from someone who is using PP because they don't have insurance. But end of day, it's all the same generic stuff that has done through the same screenings. I would think. They don't offer them like at all?! That's crazy?! How can you just not offer something. That seems medically unethical. What if someone needed that particular form of bc for whatever reason. What do they do then? Is my privilege showing? Lol. I just can't imagine being told I can't have something. Yup. That's definitely my California showing

J any updates?!?!?!?!?

AFM so I'm off the wagon. After that incident where my friend peer pressured me, I'm having a hard time getting my sobriety back in check. I really don't know how to talk to her about it. Because she's a really good friend otherwise. And amy friends list is in pretty short supply. But like I have so many work emails to send tonight and my ass is buzzed. I actually TLDR an email I sent to my boss today. Which is fine because he's chill but wtaf was I thinking?

ETA: I just gave myself a fat lip. I was grabbing a plate out of the cabinet and just smacked myself in the lip. Granted I do have a vision condition so I have not depth perception BUT I obviously don't go around hitting myself. Like it's bad. I had to ice it and it's still swollen. sigh

 

[shaescott]

Dobs idk how PP works out in California but the ones around here take insurance, so you can go to them without taking funds from people who don’t have insurance and go to PP for that reason. Their website says they take my insurance and I was thinking about calling them to verify before making an appointment (cuz I don’t want my insurance company to freak out at me). Apparently diaphragms can be very hard to find these days. There’s only 2 brands on the market in the US, there was one more years back but the company stopped making it several years ago. One of the two current brands is a one size fits most (usually they need to be fitted) made in response to the lack of options. I think the demand was so low and they stopped recommending them due to the lower efficacy rates (94% really isn’t bad, but I digress) so they just stopped stocking them. Since they need to be fitted, if they stop stocking the fitting kits, then they can’t prescribe them.

I think having all the potential options available is definitely more of a big city thing, and California most likely has a lot of demand for alternative methods and all that jazz. But yeah it’s frustrating to have a lack of access to specific forms of medical care when we’re used to having what seems like really good access to it. Poor access to medical care is a big issue but when people talk about lack of access they’re generally referring to much worse situations than “we don’t stock diaphragms because so few women use them these days”. So it’s definitely from a position of privilege that we think “how come I don’t have access to this one thing?”, BUT it doesn’t make it any less valid that we should all have access to that one thing. It’s still not fair that it’s hard to find them. We just don’t have it nearly as bad as many other people do. I think “being grateful for what we have” is normally a good principle, but when it comes to full access to all options in medical care we shouldn’t just be grateful we’re better off than some, we should demand full access to the options (not just for us, but for everyone), because as patients we have the right to choose any of those options.
Okay I need to get off my soapbox.

I’m really sorry your sobriety isn’t going well. I think you definitely need to sit down with your friend and have a serious talk with her and just be honest about the situation, that you can’t control yourself well around alcohol and when you allow yourself to indulge, it causes a spiral that negatively affects your mental health, your job performance, your ability to safely function, etc. She needs to understand that pressuring you is no longer her trying to get you to live it up, but the effect is now much bigger and much more negative.
I’m sorry about your fat lip, I hope it heals up quickly

 

[DobbyForever]

They probably work the same way haha. What's different is the culture. My town is super affluent, mostly an older generation, people have really solid insurance through their employer. The next town over is similar, but it has a lot of high occupancy buildings and a more transient, lower income demographic. The PP is in the mixed demo town on a street that is literally one side is one town and the other is the other town. They have such a high volume of no/low income and no insurance clients that they really prefer you go elsewhere if you have insurance/money. So you end up with mostly teenage girls who don't want to or can't tell their parents they need bc or people really in need financially. Which then attracts a certain stigma whenever someone says they're going to PP because my town has a tendency to be judgey. And my mom has always been about how everything is fungible, so my going there is time and resources away from someone who might have needed it more than me because I have the option to go elsewhere whereas that person may not. But could just be one of those things we tell ourselves because deep down we're creatures of our society views.

Cali is def it own beast. Esp the bay. Where else can you get a vegan, gluten free pizza and cake from a number of stores or artisan home bakers? Haha. I've never asked for a diaphragm, but it's been offered. Did not know they were in short supply. Learned something new today and it's not even 8am. Hopefully they can take you, your insurance doesn't give you any trouble over it, and you get it right then and there.

I liked your soapbox It really is a shame that people don't have equal access to many things, but especially things that are medical. It really is such a huge part of life and should really be viewed as a basic need.

My lip still hurts. I'm having like an extended anxiety attack. I couldn't sleep last night. So I just worked instead and now I'm on empty. Literally wearing sweatpants today because I can. So over it.

Yeah. I've had that talk with her, and she's seen it firsthand. I'll try again, but I think I'm just going to have a no alcohol rule with her like I do at home. Which I obviously broke yesterday. It's been such a hard week. I'm so tired. I just have to make it to November and I can get a few days to myself.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby sorry your friend got you off your streak. I hope that you will get back to it soon. How is your lip now?

Shae cool you can test out the diaphragm with iud in place. How's your SO?

To both: omg the fertile window sex drive is real! The combo pill prevented that when I was on it years ago. I'm looking forward to being able to pounce on DH with no scare of being pregnant or having to use a condom. I just don't like the thought of an IUD and I'm not reliable enough for a pill. Also with low to just enough milk supply I don't want hormonal bc to interfere with my milk supply.

J any updates???

AFM I've dropped and been having increased discharge. I'm really thinking I might have a late October baby. I'm hoping to make it to Nov 1st though (38 weeks)

Work has piled a lot on me this last month. I'm just trying to do what I can.

 

[DobbyForever]

Exactly gotta just dk what you can

That’s so exciting! Hoping for a few more weeks for you. Can you remind me when do you plan to stop working?

I feel you on hormonal bc and milk. The mini pill really jacked up my already crap supply. Hoping you find a non invasive method that works. I used to have a bcp alarm but then I’d be out and it’d be at home then I’d forget to take it when I got home. I’m biased with iud. Honestly, took me a year to recover after I had to it just for a month. I’ve really enjoyed the last few years of just letting things sort itself naturally, and now that it has I’m not keen to get on bcp again