General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Gigs equate is the Walmart brand. These days I always see indents on FRERs, I had a nasty indent this cycle and realized it was one when I inverted it and it was black instead of white/blue. I’ve made a new rule for myself that if I don’t see pink, it’s negative, stop obsessing (I still stare at it for a bit but I’m better about not doing it for as long lol). Anyway, I’m glad it was negative. I’m sorry about the long periods, mine used to be 8-12 days so I get it, it really sucks.

Dobs hopefully the NSA thing works out and the boy doesn’t get emotionally invested.

Flueks I think I forgot to comment on the house design, it looks lovely!

AFM tmi but once I started AF this cycle I realized that I’ve never felt an open cervix before now we learned how to measure cervical dilation in our OB nursing course with our fingers and uh it’s a full 1 cm just for AF. I didn’t know it opened that much. So far it seems that my period is not as heavy as it was before I got my first IUD but I really can’t be sure, it was so long ago. But I only had one day (day 2) where I even came close to filling a tampon. It’s still going right now but it’s light. I’m pretty sure it was more than that and for longer prior to the IUDs. I’m wondering if it’ll be heavier next month or if this is just how it’s going to be. We’ll have to see.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yikes yes long periods are awful. I’m curious to see if I go back to my usual Tues-Sat with drawl bleed. I’ll be on my first sugar week next week. Hopefully your future periods are equally mellow.

My big worry is that he’ll pretend to be invested. That’s usually what happens. After a few rounds, I get visibly bored. So they’ll start pretending to have feelings to keep me around. And I fall for it every time.

But this could all be moot lol. I essentially told him just say when, and he hasn’t said anything. So now I’m back to being frustrated lol and I have to actively talk myself out of sleeping with New Boy because I’m not attracted to him and he’s emotionally invested in me buuuuut he’s also got trauma and would make it all about me. Which would be a nice change of pace lol.

yeah the last time I DTD was with A’s dad and definitely not positive memory. Took me forever to even want it and NSA Boy (formerly The Boy) is the first person I’ve actually wanted to DTD with

ETA NSA has texted. Not picked a time but reiterated a mutual desire to work out some frustration

 

[gigglebox]

will read back but
F
FFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
fffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
you guys it's positive

 

[gigglebox]

I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm freaking the f out.

I f'ing knew it.
FFFFF

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh s*** Gigs. Hugs. You were saying that maybe it’s God’s plan. I know things are tough with 3, but when you’ve had time to process then you can sit down and do a brainstorm session to come up strategies for raising four. Might help if you have a game plan. We’re here for you no matter what. When do you think you’ll tell hubs?

 

[shaescott]

Gigs oh boy. maybe it would be a good idea to wait for the line to get darker before sitting down and making plans?

 

[gigglebox]

Still early days so we'll see what this becomes....but yeah I'm really nervous right now. My nerves are also harder to control when I don't have food in my system and I've been barely eating the past few days because I haven't felt like it (as I mentioned earlier, that's a symptom for me).

I don't know Shae, I had thought yesterday and the day before about when I would tell hubs if this was the outcome. I thought I could keep it to myself until he was in a good mood or something....but he's also the one that is best at comforting me so I feel like I need his help here, you know? I don't want to upset him either but it's not like I can hide it forever!

Dobs you're right, I know you're right. We will figure it out. I only just found out, what, an hour ago?

And yeah I'm going to need a more convincing line for probably both me and hubs to truly believe. Actually I just looked at the test (about 40 minutes after taking it) and it looks nearly blank now, so now I'm like...well...what if...? Maybe it was just dye run?

In my heart of hearts though, I know what that is...and I know what an early positive looks like. Been through this song and dance enough! ha!

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs oh my!! I understand. I was going to wait until a better line with dd3 but I ended up spilling the beans a few hours later. It's hard not to. I would especially if he helps calm you down.

 

[gigglebox]

Fluek #3 was a surprise for you too, right? Could you tell me a bit more about how that all went down and how you're doing with and unexpected addition?

 

[gigglebox]

I mean what will be will be but I do have to mourn a little here about my body, lol! I was finally getting back to a weight I was happy with. Saw 159.8 on the scale today which was nice....so much for that, hahahahha

And then there's the puppy....I don't know if we should still get her. Bummer because I'll be out the deposit money.
Also, and I don't want to discuss it really but I have an ongoing weird health issue that hasn't been addressed...I am going to see a specialist next week for an appointment I set up 3 months ago and had to wait for.

Anyway it really does all make so much sense now, putting all my symptoms together over the past few days. I've been kind of butter-fingery lately too, keep clumsily knocking things over and dropping things.

I texted one of my besties to call me, too. She is going to be gobsmacked. I just need to talk to someone though and work some of these emotions out!

 

[gigglebox]

AND OH F Y'ALL, telling my mom!!! omg....that is going to be some kind of interesting. Definitely NOT telling her until I am more sure. But that is going to be one terrifying conversation, lol!

 

[shaescott]

Gigs oh yeah I didn’t mean don’t tell him, I meant more like wait for a darkening line before re-planning your entire life around an additional child. I would want to tell SO immediately as well, I wouldn’t want to freak him out prematurely but I’d also be freaking out and I know he’d want to know right away, he specifically told me he would.

Whatever happens, you’re going to be okay. I know it’s scary and stressful, but you’re a strong woman and if you can handle 3 boys, you can handle 4.

I’m sorry about the weight, that must be super frustrating. With the puppy, I’d say you have 9 months to train the puppy and get him/her used to being around small kids. It’s good to have the dog already before giving birth isn’t it, since they can sense pregnancy? I’m sorry about the health issue, I hope it gets figured out with the specialist next week.

Has your mom been judgemental about your pregnancies before? Or would it be because it was unplanned?

 

[DobbyForever]

I have to go teach soon but hugs. I’m glad that you have a friend to talk to. Hopefully she’s up and calls soon. Obviously we’re here to listen to any processing, but there’s something extra comforting to be physically near your comfort. It’s a lot right now. Definitely keep airing it out.

 

[Flueky88]

Gigs yes ,she was a surprise. Failed pullout. It wasn't really excitement I felt at 1st. I felt dread of doing 2 under 2. I was still BFing S so I was sad to not have my body be my own before getting pregnant. I was nervous what people would think or say about having 3 kids so close in age. I knew DH was on the fence about 3 so was nervous for his reaction. He was in denial at first because it was so faint, then he went downstairs and Googled vasectomy. He didn't take it out on me, he felt regret of his failed pullout. As time went on we both warmed up to having a 3rd at that moment in time (I wanted a 3rd just not so soon). Honestly, everything seemed to fall into place and has worked put well. I did get excited about being pregnant and having our final addition. I'm honestly glad it happened when it did. She's been my easiest transition, 1 to 2 was my hardest. V adores her, S likes her but has moments of jealousy. E isn't as "needy" as a baby as S was so that helps soooo much. I'm not constantly feeding, baby wearing, or holding E like I was with S. I had an easy recovery too so that helped tremendously.

I had pink spotting the day after my bfp, then a very small amount of red blood the next, and a reddish brown on the 3rd. I honestly thought I was going to have a chemical. I had such mixed feelings of it I wanted it to go. I did lean more towards not a loss because I was also nervous DH would decide against a 3rd.

Oh my family wasn't too bad about our announcement. They were shocked for sure but I wasn't given much grief. I didn't tell my boss until I was like 11 or 12 weeks. I wanted to tell her in person. It went better than I'd expected. I had just joined her department in January least year so felt guilty to be taking a leave so soon.

The OBs/midwives didn't give me much grief. I was asked at 1st appt if it was planned. She apparently was having a rough day and made a snide comment, of "I didn't think so". I had seen her during my 2nd pregnancy and that wasn't like her. We saw her again during my 3rd pregnancy and she was fine. I chalked it up to a bad day, rolled my sleeves up and let that comment go.

If you think of anything else you want to ask about an unexpected pregnancy let me know.

 

[gigglebox]

wow...talked to my friend...definitely was not helpful at all. It basically felt like a lecture about how my hubby should get snipped. Not in a rude way, but like a "well if this doesn't turn viable, maybe you should consider x"...there was really nothing about how it's going to be OK, we'll work it out....she asked me if I'd consider an ab' ...and then she had to get back to work. Soooooooooooooooooo that didn't help me at all.

I then took the kids outside to play in the snow, but since I've been barely eating, and drinking for that matter, I started feeling weak and getting palpitations. I rushed the kids inside just in case I was going to pass out or something. I just calmed myself down, choked down a piece of bread, and am now drinking as much water as I can tolerate. Feeling better, but being mom today is quite challenging!

also i checked the test and it's dried nearly blank. Is that normal? they've always dried darker for me. Wouldn't that be hilarious if I worked myself all up and it's not even a true positive.

 

[Flueky88]

Sorry your friend was less than helpful. I do believe all my frer dried darker. After a week or so those faints got fainter from what I recall but initially they were darker. it is hard going through an unexpected pregnancy or even a suspected one.

 

[gigglebox]

Thanks so much, Fluek. I really appreciate it. If this ends up being viable, I will definitely be getting my tubes tied at the same time as a planned c section. That's got me freaked, too -- I am (obviously) not looking forward to surgery again. That said, recovery did seem to go much smoother last time so I will try to bare that in mind.

Shae, yes my Mom didn't take the announcement of #3 very well. I don't know if it had to do with us being ready, I think it was more because ds2 nearly killed me on his way out so I think she was just worried for me personally. I told her an my dad over a facetime call, and I made hubs join me because I was so nervous. They kind of hesitate and then said, "well....ok!" -- it wasn't the elation my MIL and FIL had. I was actually excited to tell them; they were really happy for us. They will be this time too, I know. They always say children are blessings and they are genuinely happy all the times we've announced or our BIL/SIL announced. But BOY will this be a huge shock to everyone!!! The super weird thing is my MIL likes to go to see a psychic when she visits her sister in FL. She went there last month I think it was, and was told there was another grandbaby in the near future. The psychic told her she saw a baby and a three ringed circus...? I interpreted that as my SIL&BIL having their third kid. I even said to her, "hmm....well if there's any other babies it'd definitely be BIL/SIL's as we're done here!." HA!

 

[DobbyForever]

My tests have usually dried darker. I know you said weekend testing is a no go with hubs home, but given this morning are you thinking of sneaking a test? I’m sorry that you’re friend was less than helpful. I love Fluek’s post, so hopefully that helps. Also hoping the day gets easier on you.

 

[gigglebox]

sorry to keep writing...just processing things...!
It occurs to me that at least this baby will actually be due right at the time of my 35th bday. So I guess I'll just barely be squeaking one last one in before I'm of "advanced maternal age" haha

 

[gigglebox]

Dobs yes I'll be testing this weekend. I plan on telling hubby tonight. He usually comes home from work on lunch but I feel like that's not the right time to tell him....