General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Once again, my temp is not dropping to pre-O levels when I get my period. Last cycle it took like 2 weeks. I’m not sure if my progesterone isn’t dropping properly or something?

My period is also very light for a bc-free period, it was last cycle too. I thought I had a light flow pre-IUD but this is way lighter. In 8th grade I’d fill a super plus tampon in 8 hours (any more and I’d leak) and I’m getting maybe 1/8-1/4 of that, I don’t think I’d even fill up a light tampon in 8 hours. My cervix is wide open, so this is definitely my period, just like last period, it’s just not coming out as much as I’d expect with no IUD. The internet says that low estrogen can cause a thin uterine lining and I’ve been feeling like I have low estrogen for other reasons too :/

I was looking at red clover because lots of sites say it helps with uterine lining but then I found a bunch of studies saying it has no effect or could actually decrease it, so I’m not going to take it. I guess I’ll just see if my body can figure out its crap on its own.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby yay for A having some big improvements!!! That's always a good feeling when they are improving and learning.

Sorry for the boy drama.

Shae I don't think you should take any herbs without figuring out if you even have any hormonal issues (I know you said you aren't going to take the red clover but wanted to mention it anyways). It can take awhile for some to regulate after stopping a hormonal birth control. So give your body some more time to figure things out I truly mean this in the nicest way and sorry if it comes off witchy.

For me it took 6 months to get somewhat regular after bcp. By 11 months afterwards it was much more regular. I did end up taking vitex but there was a lot of back and forth in my head about it. Oh and I'd also ran it by my gyn.

I've had light flows ever since stopping bcp. Even my pp AFs have been light and most women say their 1st pp AF is super heavy. I've gotten preggo easily with my 2nd and 3rd. I never had a loss. I possibly had a chemical in July 17 (super faint IC, but negative FRER so I'm thinking IC was faulty). Sooo light flow doesn't mean poor lining

If you think you have low estrogen how about you reach out to your obgyn or pepper? I hope that once you ttc, it won't take long.



AFM MIL was in hospital Sunday night, Monday day. They think she had a TIA. She mentioned MRI showed "something like grains of sand". They said they'd never seen anything like it. I don't recall anything like that in my days on a neuro floor. Wish I could have been there.. They even consulted with a neurologist at Vanderbilt which is a big thing. Shae if you recall anything like that, let me know please.

Anyways she's not wanting to go to Vanderbilt for an appt. DH has offered to drive her but she's not going for it. Her brother said he didn't see why she couldn't go local so he's helped talk her out if it. Our only hope is her Pcp saying she needs to go which knowing him, he won't. DH at least knows that whatever happens to her for not going will be her own consequence and not his.

So yeah. Things are going okay. Just busy with work, life, and etc.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks not witchy at all! I texted my mom saying I was concerned about those issues (didn’t mention herbs) and she said to give it time, I’ve only been off the IUD for 2 cycles. So I’m going to hold off on any supplements and see if my body can regulate on its own over the next few months at least. If it doesn’t, I can always message my GYN. It’s good to know that having a light flow didn’t impact your ability to get pregnant, that makes me feel a bit better.

I’m sorry about your MIL, I’ve unfortunately never heard of such a thing. I’m honestly not we’ll versed in neuro stuff anyway, so I probably wouldn’t know it even if it was relatively common. I hope she’ll end up going to the appointment.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae, glad you brought it up to your mom. I agree, it took me forever to regulate after my copper iud and that didn't even have hormones. And it was only in for one cycle. Hopefully things naturally regulate soon. Hugs.

Fluek, I'm so sorry to hear about MIL. Hopefully she comes to her senses and goes to VB. Boo on the brother! Any chance to get him on board or not worth the headache situation. I'm glad that hubs knows he has done all he can at this point.

AFM Thanks ladies! I rant a lot, but it's all good. Just processing my thoughts in writing, easiest for me that way. Physicist is officially out since that wasn't ever going anywhere. I did get asked out by a guy bank manager. He seems nice. But he's made a couple of not really pc comments. I also feel bad because his two best friends are SO HOT. So that's awkward. The Boy asked to come over this weekend, but since I panicked and took an extra pill I'm still expecting AF to be lurking. My mom wants me to come over this weekend, but I don't think my bro will go for it since it's only 8 days post his first dose. Any case, I'm not planning for it. Last weekend I have to solo it though! Woo! Also restarted my peloton membership because I'm stalling out again/ stress eating carbs. But my report cards are done! Well, done enough lol.

They keep talking about trying to reopen schools for this dumb financial incentive. The union keeps acting like everything isn't moving. My boss says he won't force me. I've cried every day this week because we have these GATE evals and the parents are so nice and I'm hormonal lol. So I'm curious to see how this all plays out

 

[shaescott]

Dobs oo yeah maybe not best to start a relationship with someone you think is way less attractive than their best friends SO is constantly making non-pc comments and sometimes it really gets on my nerves, so best to avoid that ahead of time.
Yay for the peloton membership! I went to the gym for a week and now I haven’t gone in 2 weeks ugh I’m terrible. I need to figure out a better way to get myself to go, some kind of motivation. Idk.
I’m glad your report cards are done! Sorry about the school issues. The public school here is hybrid, and it has been since September. Kids can choose to go full remote but of course teachers can’t :/ they used to do cohorts but they just switched to half days, with all 1,000 students in the school in the mornings instead of 500 on m/tu and 500 on th/f I think it’s dumb.

 

[DobbyForever]

lol yeah I’m kind of over that. I have a date for dinner on Saturday with a techies solid foot taller than me. Seems like a nice guy but we’ll see. The Boy is hot and cold, but he did say he’s open to spending some non bd time together. But he did cancel on me tonight because of “work”. Whatever

we’re at my parents and A is living his best life lol I just caught an accidental nap haha.

that’s crazy!!!! So far it’s all volunteer and what would happen is kids get reassigned to a new teacher/school potentially, but there is language about potential forcing teachers back if we don’t have enough volunteers district and/site wide. I just know my a** ain’t volunteering lol fts

 

[DobbyForever]

A read the entire Brown bear book and I haven’t stopped crying since lol

ETA crying more cuz he “read” a scholastic pattern reader my baby

 

[shaescott]

Dobs like he read the whole thing out loud?! That’s amazing! I remember that book from when I was a kid
I liked reading Dr. Seuss books out loud as a kid, I was a big fan of go dog go and hop on pop, highly recommend. Also green eggs and ham, because from a young age any reference to food piqued my interest

AFM AF ended for a whole day and now I’m spotting again because of course but I caught up on an insane amount of sleep after my night shift so that’s awesome

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Hey ladies!

So, apparently I fell off the face of the Earth again for a couple months, but with a fairly good reason. I'm slowly making my way through 15 pages of posts I missed, but I'll just give a quick (selfish) update.

So, I got a new job. I'm now a cleaning lady as of March 1. The hours work well with trying to raise 2 kids and the pay should help keep us in the black since both kids are in daycare. Plus, the job has lots of exercise built into it, so I'm hoping to drop some serious weight going forward. But, ya, it really tires me out and some nights I don't even make it to 11pm without passing out. So, that's my excuse for being MIA in March. lol. In smaller news, SO and I just got a King sized bed. We've only had it for 2 nights and both nights, one of the kids ended up in bed with us. So, here's hoping for some alone time tonight. lol

So, I have read up to about when Gigs started msging again (Welcome back, btw!). And to answer her question to me, no, I haven't talked SO about baby #3 yet. I'm trying to come up with a bunch of pros and a "game plan" to show that life with 3 kids won't be such a big change. Like, we already have a spare crib, a carseat, high chair, at least 30% of the clothing we have could be worn by a girl, we're already still in the baby/toddler way of life/mindset, and they don't stay babies forever. If you ladies have any other tips or advice, it'd be much appreciated. Probably gonna have to say something soon cuz I'd ideally like to try in July.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae yeah the whole book. It's crazy. He's also singing songs start to finish. He is having some trouble with the actual speech production, so it's mostly approximations of each word. But it's such a huge leap in the last six months.

Yay for sleep! Not yay for indecisive bleeding =/ really hoping things regulate for you sooner rather than later.

Pretty welcome back! And congrats on the new job! Sounds like wins all around! AFM talks re #3 I got nothing. But I hope that the conversation goes well and you can start TTC in July!

AFM nothing new. I have two full days and two min days until spring break, so that's fun. I am having a dilemma. So I've long said if I start cutting out all of my toxic friendships, I won't have any friends left. I'm not saying I'm perfect. Damage attracts damage, and these friendships formed and cultivated over shared trauma. My one friend, who is always in some weird one sided competition with me (I got the peloton app so she got the peloton bike, I cry about A's speech so she sends a video of her kid talking, I say I have a date and she has to then message every guy she knows until she has a date too, I say I'm exhausted and wish I had help and she'll then call her parents to come take her kid for a week then go on and on about how great it is to be kid free...)... I've brushed it aside because I know it's her insecurity and her problem and I'm in control of my own feelings/reactions. BUT recently she decided to do something that I politically and fundamentally disagree with that endangers my life and my son's life should we chose to spend time with her in her house or her county. I’m all for everyone and their rights, but she’s not mentally stable or mature enough for that kind of responsibility. So I'm trying to decide if I need to just be done with that friendship. In which case I'd literally have one friend. Lol.

eta I got fed up listening to her so I told her that I’m fundamentally against the idea and she hasn’t thought it through but end of day it’s her life. So to each their own, but we’re not hanging out with her anymore if she has it with her.

 

[shaescott]

Pretty yay for the new job, glad it’s helping you get in exercise though I’m sorry it’s making you so tired. If you figure out a good way to convince a man to have a baby, let me know I hope he’ll agree to #3 and hopefully you can get that girl you wanted!

Dobs thats so awesome about A, even if it’s not perfect, it’s progress, and I’m sure since you’re a teacher you are extra knowledgeable about that stuff.
The spotting was only for like 24-36 hours thankfully and it went away after that. I’m officially in the red days starting today for my bc app so we’re using diaphragm starting today, although we BD’d at like 1 am this morning without it (he gave informed consent). But I ovulate late, so unless my cycle changes drastically and gives me an O by CD15ish, nothing’s gonna happen.

Re: the friend, I think I catch your drift. Considering I live in MA the laws here are pretty strict in that regard, but SO’s family is what I’d call suburban hicks, so they’re into that stuff, and he’s gotten me more comfortable with it. However, they’re very into safety, everything is locked up properly when not on their person (and safety mechanisms are engaged at all times even then). I would not want an irresponsible person having one, especially around me or my child. I trust his family to be super careful, but if you don’t trust that friend to be careful, then you’re definitely making the right choice not wanting to be around her when she has it.

 

[shaescott]

Hello, it’s your friendly neighborhood crazy obsessive WTT girl, coming at you with the not at all shocking news that I am being crazy obsessive (I knowww Dobs, I’m sorry, I promise I’m fine)

I looked back at my previous cycles and saw that I had several shorter cycles over the past year. As in, 28-30 day cycles, whereas my last 3 have been 33+ days. If I have one of those 28-30 day cycles this time, CD11 unprotected BD might just tip the scales here, a CD15-16 ovulation isn’t impossible by any means. I didn’t really think about the fact that I’ve only had later ovulations using this app (day 20 and later) because I’ve only been using it for 3 months. But I did document two past cycles on the app when I started, including a 30 day one, so it did have that info. Idk. We’ll see. I know it’s unlikely. I’m just gonna have to wait out the next few days and see if I ovulate or not during them. If I don’t, I’ll know I’m totally in the clear.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ugh kept trying to reply but my phone kept reloading the page! I kept losing it! So I gave up. On my computer finally.

Pretty welcome back! So glad to hear things are on the up and up! Sounds like the job is a great fit on several layers. I don't have any advice on how to have that convo, but I'll keep my fxed that things work out and you're ttc in July! Any particular reason why you're aiming to start in July? Is it about the due date or like you'd feel ready to start then? Just such a specific month so I'm curious

Shae yeaaaaaaah luckily she does have the redeeming quality of like being able to have an open dialogue but respect people with different opinions. So we left it at agree to disagree, still not hanging out with you when you have it cuz I think you have a delusional sense of reality lol, but we cool.

LMFAO though honestly the second I read sex with no diaphragm I was like gg Shae it's gonna be a looooong 2-3 weeks All I can say is that I hope things work on in the long term be it early O or not early O. Obviously I'm team wait girl! It's so much better when you're older! But I also know you will make an amazing mom and you will make it work no matter when it happens. I know it sucks waiting. I felt my clock ticking during my undergrad. But I thank God (sorry to get religious) every day that the plan worked out for me to have A at 28. I walk through my condo every day and I love the life that I can give him. Minus the shitty dad/lack of dad but that's a rant for another day lol

AFM such a great weekend. Everyone in the fam is vaxxed except the one brother who is willing to see us without being vaxxed. So we actually had family dinner. Inside. At the dining table. All my brothers and parents and A. I almost cried. And then today things worked out for me to go with my mom to see my grandmother who lives in a care facility. It was outside, but they said we could hug her for a few minutes because she's vaxxed, the whole staff/residents are vaxxed, and her zone is green. They actually said it's crazy because at one point everyone in her room/zone had the vid but she was the only one who never tested positive. She just didn't get it/ get sick. They didn't understand it. And then they casually mentioned she had one new roommate and my mom was like STOP TALKING I DON'T WANNA KNOW so we're hoping she just transferred elsewhere. But yeah. I cried again. Cuz she isn't always all there and I don't think she knew who were were from far away and masked or she was mad that we haven't visited. But once we went in for the hug she immediately grabbed my hand and started tearing up. I could just see the life come back into her eyes. I know the world has a long way to go, and I know how blessed my family has been. It just feels so good to see my family again.

 

[Jezika]

Okay wow I realize I’ve been MIA for, what, like a year? Dare I say closer to two years? It’s certainly felt like two years, but also five minutes. I need to catch up a bit, but would anyone be interested in giving me a précis of any big updates from the last year or so? Any more babies? I’ve missed you ladies.

 

[Jezika]

Also Dobby that’s so moving about your grandmother

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I’m glad you guys were able to agree to disagree, it’s such a touchy topic and I know a lot of people aren’t willing to have that open dialogue.

Being me, I’m hoping for the early O. I know it would be poor timing of course, and that it’s smarter to wait. Buuuut I’m someone who acts based on their feelings, not logic (MBTI anyone? I’m an ENFP). Of course, I’m not going to BD on red days on the app (minus the one I just did lol but it was 2 hours into the first red day). But am I going to pray like crazy for an early O while simultaneously trying to improve my diet, cut down on caffeine, get more sleep, and reduce my stress with frequent cups of (decaf) tea in hopes that it will encourage my ovaries to speed up their timeline a bit? You bet your booty I am

I’m so glad you were finally able to get together as a family and that you could hug your grandmother thanks to the vaccine! I know it’s been a hard year for you family-wise.

JEZ OMG HI! Flueks had another baby, she has 3 girls now! No new babies from Dobs. I can’t remember when Gigs had her last baby... she has 3 boys. J is usually MIA. She had what looked like an early miscarriage a bit ago and disappeared again. Pretty had another boy. I still have no babies but I’ve got my IUD out and I’m using NFP/FAM and a diaphragm on fertile days. Finishing my degree this May!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yup no babies from me but I did have a nightmare that I was pregnant, which woke me up at 2am. Thankfully because I forgot to take my pill. I’ve been taking it at 4:30pm because it’s when I get home from work and set A down for dinner. But no matter what I keep forgetting to pack it when I go to my mom’s. I usually do it right when I get home, but I was so exhausted yesterday. It’s one thing to be three hours late, but this was nearly 12. I’m sure it’s fine. I’ve full on forgotten a day or even two and it wasn’t an issue, but man so glad my subconscious said gtfu and take your pill. Then I spent a while praying I don’t O so a little ironic how we are so in different head spaces Shae . I’ll send all my ovulation energy your way lol

and then I starting think about wtf is happening. I’ve been talking to The Boy since the first week of Jan minus the blip. We’ve bd 4x (2 in February and 2 in March). We have plans this weekend. He’s so attentive and sweet when we’re together. I’ve had purely dtd relationships and they don’t act like this. Esp not ongoing lol. I just can not get a read on him. And can guys have this much sec and really not feel anything? He said he’s never had chemistry like this before. That had to mean something. Chemistry matters. It’s basic biology. Lol

 

[shaescott]

Dobs I had the same issue with the pill, I’d forget to take it home with me on weekends (well, it only happened once or twice, but I remember the stress). Definitely send me all that ovulation energy! My cervix is high and I have creamy cm with a little bit of stretchy possibly EW cm (I haven’t had solely EW cm in my past cycles), but negative OPKs so far. Just going to hope and pray that tomorrow I get my positive, but of course it’s fine if I don’t.

That boy is very confusing. I’d say maybe some guys can not catch feelings but he’s not one of them. He’s very clearly got romantic feelings for you (unless he’s some weird case where he just likes being romantic without actually having feelings? Is that a thing?). But it’s very weird to me that he’s like “nope I don’t see a long term relationship here” while simultaneously being all cute and cuddly and shit.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah the pill is frustrating. I set a phone alarm to help, but it's tough finding a time that works no matter what or where. Or where to store your pill so that worst case it's always accessible. Ugh.

Re boy. I'm still the one saying no future. It's just a gut feeling that I have. It's hard to explain. He was actually over the other day with A at my mom's, so we went upstairs to my room. I had left the doors to the spare rooms open, and he was commenting on how he liked A's blanket or the artwork in the nursery. I did tease him the other day about his lack of commitment and said that I'm holding out on him (true I haven't gone full 50 shades on him and I'm not working that hard during BD) because there's not label. I was pretty clever and cheeky about it, but he got the memo. But we haven't had a proper discussion about it. I might hurt him if I have to hear him say "never say never" again lol.

 

[shaescott]

Very negative OPK today despite my high cervix so it looks like early O isn’t going to happen. Ah well.