General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Hm Dobs I see what you mean but considering the shadow lines I’ve had I don’t trust it. Test again after a long hold? Or tomorrow? It’s probably nothing but if it’s not, wow are you fertile.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yeah I’m thinking just typical Wondfo shadows. It doesn’t make any logistical sense. I have been awful with my pills this month, lots of next morning (12h late) but I can’t believe I actually missed a pill entirely like that. But logistically doesn’t make sense and everything online said I didn’t need emergency contraceptive. Idk. I might test after work with a cb early just because I don’t want to keep taking my pills if I am.

 

[DobbyForever]

I just threw up on the middle of teaching so yeah I’ll def be testing after work

 

[Flueky88]

Shae, yeah there is only 1 time in my life that I was consistent with going to the gym. Beachbody on demand fits my lifestyle. I know some gyms have a daycare that your kids can go to, but eh trying to fit that in on top of everything else is just hard. My belly is my least favorite thing about myself, I usually always gain there first

Dobby sometimes life is just hard and eating right is the last thing I want to do when stressed. Big life changes is what has typically derailed my dieting/exercise regimen. I avoiding scales and mirrors for awhile after having E. I did weigh occasionally but not often cause I hated it.

Well, I hope you meet Mr. Right and get your wedding day. I'm glad that your relatives dote on you, but sorry they are so far away.

I do see that shadow you are talking about. I'd say inconclusive at the moment but with your symptoms I'm leaning possible early bfp. Are you gonna grab frer?

 

[DobbyForever]

So same I don’t trust them indent shadow lines. I’m calling bfn for tonight. I have one more cb early. I did unearth a full box of wondfos when I moved though so lol. The nausea came and went a few times after that incident and I’m having bad cramps. I really think it’s just the heat. We’ve been over 100 for three days now. Frers seem to have disappeared off the shelves everywhere around here.

 

[Flueky88]

I don't see anything on the CB so I'm leaning just weird wondfo shadow line.

 

[DobbyForever]

I feel like whenever you get your ducks in a row to eat well and exercise, something changes haha. At least that's how it is for me. Then it'll take forever to find my footing again, and once I do then boom new change haha.

Thanks. It wasn't even on my mind to be concerned until the weird symptoms and, even then, my initial thought was I messed my body up taking two pills at once. So hopefully that's just it. As much as my window feels like it's closing, A slapped me this weekend. OA is not the person I'd want to have a child with, especially not with the way things are. I'm screwing up at work massively.

ETA morning tests were undoubtedly bfn. Still bloated and have tons of cramping. I only have a couple more pills in this pack so hopefully af sorts everything out. Bit sad. Just a reminder that Mr. Right continues to elude me. Really struggling with the nausea this morning though so I’m sick or pregnant

 

[WinterBub]

I don't see a line Dobby, but I can barely read my own in person tests! I simply hope that you get the outcome you want Does this help you clarify your feelings on OA? If you really don't want/can't see a future with him, then break it off. You deserve a whole relationship, where you feel prioritized and loved. how is your new job going? Just curious: would you recommend teaching as a career? I gave up my career when we moved, and then I had my LO. Just considering future options... And I'm curious: does being a public school teacher mean that you have good benefits? Retirement healthcare etc?

I never took to the gym. I think I didn't understand that the whole idea is to push yourself id go and "work out" but not really because it was all very leisurely. Lol. Now that it is cooling off a little, I need to start walking again. So pleased for you and all your success, Flueky!

I'm starting my first IVF injections tonight. I'm so nervous about the whole thing. Mostly just worried about complications, or about getting no healthy embryos. I keep picturing myself with twin girls, but that really feels like a total fantasy. So I'm stuck between a fantasy and a worry that it will all be for nothing.

 

[DobbyForever]

ty. It's a weird emotional place to be in.

That’s so exciting! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for minimal, better yet, no side effects but full benefits! Aww twin girls. We’ll put it out to the universe for sure! Is DH doing the injections for you or do you do them yourself?

I mean. I’ve always seen it as I want to date him to see if we’re compatible vs assume we aren’t. I absolutely would not have a child with him right now because he does nothing for me as a partner. Granted, we aren’t dating but it’s too draining to be a mom and a partner if I don’t have a partner pouring back into me. I like enough about him, our potential, and the bd to agree to date again. But in my heart I think I know I am going to stay single and pour what little energy I have into A.

I did test one more time because I can’t shake the nausea. Got a free indent and a Wally evap. Exactly the headache I needed Attached for everyone’s face palming, these were def out of timeframe

 

[DobbyForever]

And my friend is on her third pack of bcp. She said the first pack, her period was normal. She skipped her sugar pills the second one. And the third one she never got her period. She’s refusing to test and it’s driving me mad

 

[WinterBub]

Hmmm, even I think I see something on the frer. But I agree they aren't that accurate any more. When is AF due? And how would you feel if it does end up being +? on the wait/headache of it all.

And from what you say above, I think you should have a chat to him and say just that: either y'all try dating for real, or you need to break it off. You're only getting part of a relationship, and you absolutely deserve to be treasured.

Nope, I'm doing my own injections. I think he considers this "my thing". And I suppose it kind of is, in that he would be happy just stopping. If that's what ends up happening (ie. No good embryos), I can accept that. But I feel like I will have regrets forever if we don't try every avenue that we can. So, here's hoping we get a rainbow baby .

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m glad that you’re trying! The wondering and regret would be a lot. Kudos to you for doing them! How did it go last night?

yeah that’s the gist of the conversation. What we can give each other and what we need then it’s either we date for real or we stop seeing each other entirely .

Thinking about it being positive gives me massive anxiety. I think about Setsuna and how once I really got excited about having her she was gone and not knowing why. Was it the pills? I’m on pills now. Was it the Covid exposure? I have two different students out with Covid every week. And then the logistics, there couldn’t be a worse time. But there’s always a part of me that yearns for that second kid. But yeah I can’t really think about it too much.

this morning had a squinted almost immediately but I’m still saying bfn. I do still have the nausea and other “symptoms”. I have two pills left in this pack and usually my flow starts Tuesday or Wednesday

 

[WinterBub]

Good luck- I hope it is the outcome you want You'll be fine, no matter what happens.

And please don't torture yourself with those kinds of thoughts about losing Setsuna. You didn't do anything wrong. Every day women fall pregnant, give birth, or lose a baby. Once you've DTD, everything that follows is more or less already set in motion. I'm sorry that she wasn't able to join you here on earth. I so wish that it could have been different, but there was nothing you or anyone else could've done xx

I don't feel anything yet, which is good in one way (no side effects at least!), But also anti-climactic after all this time building up to this point!

 

[DobbyForever]

I’m literally having a panic attack because idek what I’m looking at. It looked pink at first and then it didn’t. One second i think ident the next I think line. There’s a glare right over it so maybe it’s not even there I’m losing my mind

and A is about to get kicked out of his after school program

 

[WinterBub]

Just sending a virtual im not good enough at reading tests to weigh in. Sorry for the stress and upheaval while you wait this out

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. That’s awesome about the lack of side effects though yeah I can see how it feels anticlimactic. Hopefully tonight’s shot goes as smoothly!

I’ll try. I can’t really said I laid her ghost to rest. I just shoved my feelings down deep. The nice thing is with this heat that I’m drinking tons of water after work, so at least I can’t torture myself testing. I did crack it open because why do as I tell others. Didn’t clear anything up but does look more indent and colorless

eta yeah idk what the wonky line was yesterday but everything today is clearly bfn. Feeling a bit numb. Like so many things you just detach? Obviously not how I wanted a second child but yeah just lots of bad memories resurfacing and guilt for wishing I wasn’t and sad that I’m not at the same time. My friend finally tested and she’s bfn too

 

[DobbyForever]

I think my biggest disappointment is that I thought cb early was finally a good test in the most of all this crazy. But maybe the newer batches are awful. Today’s eventually got an awful indent as well an hour later. Yesterday’s was different but this is like full force indent. But yeah I’m done testing. I take my last pill today. I have a meeting every day next week then supposedly OA and I talk next weekend

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby omg when I was pregnant with Erika. I had a hard time finding FRER at Walmart. I was unwilling to pay Walgreens cost for FRER lol

Oh man, I hate that those CB are giving those wonky lines. I thought the new ones were better as well.

Well i hope you get a resolution one way or the other with your talk with OA next weekend.

Is work going any better? Why is A about to get kicked out?1

Winter if you have multiple embryos available are you wanting to implant 2 or just want to try one?

I agree that it is worth trying because you may regret never trying. Glad the shots haven't given you issues. Lots of positive vibes for rainbow baby or babies.


AFM Returned to work this week, my dad returned home at the end of the week. Girls are good. S wanted E to sleep with her in her room. So we tried that last night and it went well. V and S had been sharing a room cause S doesn't want to be alone at night but they definitely butt heads so bedtime was hard. Hoping this works out. V is doing pretty well with school. They have a field trip next month and it happens to be a day I had already requested off

We bought a tractor! It's nicer than the one we considered back in June. It is a but more expensive but I made a good down payment and DH is going to pay the monthly payments.

No change in weight from last weekend but I am okay with that. Thinking of going clothes shopping for more fall/winter outfits in the near future.

 

[WinterBub]

I'm glad that you will have a talk with OA, and sort out what's going on between you. I have my fingers crossed that it all works out just as it is meant to.

The Dr will only implant one. I think these days they're reluctant to do multiple. If one takes, there's a tiny chance (like 1/10,000) of it splitting and becoming twins. The chance is so small, that that's why it seems like a total fantasy. I do feel a sort of heavy feeling today. Not sure if that's real, or just psychosomatic, as obviously I know something is meant to be going on. The whole process is really fascinating from a scientific point of view.

Congrats on the tractor! That sounds awesome. And at some point, your weight needs to plateau. I know you want to lose a bit more, and I hope you do- but of course things should slow down as you have less to lose. Have you ever watched My 600lb Life? It's amazing how fast they can lose like 50lb per they month at the start, because they have so much excess. Obviously it is a totally different ballgame as you are approaching a pretty low weight overall FX the sleeping arrangements work out! How is V liking school? My LO isn't that keen- he's been crying at drop off, and while I know that he does enjoy the activities, he's apparently very standoffish and a bit overwhelmed.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter, I didn't realize that. I do know that twin pregnancies or more are harder on our bodies. What is your next step after the shots? Do you get an ultrasound to check the eggs and then retrieval?

I never watched that show, I used to watch biggest lover though. It is always crazy how much weight people can lose initially.

She likes school pretty well. She doesn't fuss walking to the school. She fusses a little in the morning at the house sometimes. I think she just doesn't like getting up early. Hopefully he will get more used to it as time goes by.