General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

In case anyone wants to know how ridiculous California is. *facepalm*

i just got an email from the PTA to do back to school night reg stuff. Money, volunteering.

they suggest:
PTA: join as a member (membership ranging from $15-300 for bragging rights) and donate an additional $250-500 per child. They also suggest 40 hours annually of volunteering per child.
District education fund: $1500 per child
Should your child want to join the elementary choir that 2 parent volunteer days plus $200. Should your child want to join drama I didn’t read the volunteer requirements but it’s $350.

Not to mention we will be asked to donate to the specific class/grade level to fund crafts and field trips and teacher appreciation.

granted all “suggested” but yeah this is why I’m likely only having one kid

 

[DobbyForever]

So we tried to rename them and just couldn’t do it, it felt weird, we’re so used to calling them Billy Bob and Toby, it’s too late

Oooo I missed this nothing wrong with keeping their shelter names.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs that’s crazy, if parents were cool with paying tons of money for their kid to do school activities, they’d send them to private school and pay in advance. Public school should not be “suggesting” large donations like that. I’m still annoyed that my high school made us pay yearly “dues” of like $100 to participate in class activities, including our GRADUATION CEREMONY. Though I do think they had options for kids whose parents really couldn’t afford it.

Yesterday was my cousin’s wedding, it was super lovely, the venue had such a gorgeous view, the cake was maple flavored because it was in Vermont, and I got to see my cousins I haven’t seen since before COVID (and one cousin in nearly a decade), so that was so much fun! They were all saying how they can’t wait to come to my wedding too next year. She had a photo booth and it was a lot of fun because of my cousins, it definitely made me want one for my wedding. She also told me she has 3 cars full of stuff from the wedding that she now has no use for and she’ll let me know what she has so I can re-use anything I want. So that’s very exciting! We’ll take a money saver any day.

 

[Flueky88]

Shae I agree, nothing wrong with keeping their shelter names. I did that with the cat I got when I moved out on my own.

Also, we actually switched to using epic. I am unimpressed with how their team handles go live. I think they excel with an EMR for hospitals and Dr offices but am disappointed with their knowledge with HH and hospice. We seriously had to tell them thinks we needed to meet regulations. Like, we shouldn't have to tell them this, they should know! I think things will improve though.

Also nice for getting to see family you hadn't in awhile and able to score some free wedding items!

Dobby, I could never live in Cali. Way too expensive for me! I feel like all those suggestions are a bit extreme. Also, I was told by a new employee never join the PTA as it takes a ton of your time. I don't have a lot of time so not giving it up. I do want to participate in some field trips though.

Her fist day went well! We had an open house that evening and went to it. They had a good time. There was ice cream and bouncy houses. They had hot dogs but since the seating around it was limited we opted to pick up dinner on the way home.

Not much longer now for his 1st day! How are you feeling? I'm glad your boss is okay with you being a little late.

Sadly there wasn't an option to easily transfer the information. I don't think most EMRs want you to switch to another so they don't want to make that an easy process.


AFM just been busy. Work, school for V, home life. Actually looking forward to having surgery so I can slow down a bit.

I have been working on shoveling some dirt to fill in some holes/trenches that were created from hard rains. The grass seed last year didn't grow in some places so this resulted in this dirt/mud issue. I'm going to plant some grass seed in a little bit. I'm hoping that it's only a steady rain tomorrow and not a dang monsoon so the grass seed can still take hold. Wish me luck!

DH's truck is being totalled out. We should get the money this week. We have a vehicle locked in as ours and will finalize the buying process once we get the money from insurance company. It's a 2022 Ford F150 XLT. He did have a lariat edition so it's a "step down" but it is still nice. We are basicallyjust missing out on leatger seats and air conditioned seats but we are gaining some new safety features his previous truck didn't have. *I can't recall if I updated last month that DH got rear ended. Thankfully the girls weren't on the truck with him.*

Weight loss is back on track. I was hoping to meet 150s before surgery on the 25th so I think I will meet it!

 

[ukgirl23]

Im finding myself a bit out of place sometimes on here as although I am only 34 years old, DH 37, I have 3 children who are pretty grown up already, 16.14 and my youngest is only 9, are there any other mums with teens TTC?

 

[DobbyForever]

Gotta read and run but my pta psa is always join officially. Joining isn’t a commitment to volunteer, but usually there is a $15-20 due. That money helps fund all those events at school. PTA also help with costs (supplies, field trips, extra programs). I join the PTA as a teacher just to donate the $15 but I never go to meetings or offer to help with anything LOL

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby maybe it is different per school system. I haven't heard anything as of yet about PTA but will make a decision later when I find out more. I know I don't have the spare time at the moment.

Ukgirl, hello. Wishing you the best on your ttc journey. I'm done ttc and no teenagers. I don't think any of our regulars have teenagers.

 

[Edithtj]

My cats shelter name was kitten. She was 1.

 

[shaescott]

Flueks i heard when Epic first started in hospitals it was a mess. It’s great now, but took time to iron out the kinks. Sorry about the truck being totaled but yay for a new truck! Good luck with surgery tomorrow!

 

[gigglebox]

Hi!

fluek all that manual database work sounds like slow torture, especially when you are used to an active job. Glad it’s over, but sounds like there are lots of improvements to be made! Fill me in, what surgery are you having? Glad weight loss is going well! I still haven’t lost any more weight. I’m trying to keep up weightlifting but my diet’s been slipping due to being discouraged. It’s hard to keep going with something when results aren’t happening. Anyway sorry about the truck! Is hubby Ok? I hope he didn’t get hurt. What an inconvenience though.

dobs I’m glad the party was a success! I know you worked so hard on planning it. What’s latest with OA? I don’t envy your busy schedule with school, nor the fees for everything—yikes! We are getting ready to make an actual school space for the kids, I’m excited! Up until now I’ve just been doing school at the kitchen table with ds1. Ds2 starts K this year. I think he’s going to rock it.

shae love the kitties! I love how one looks like he’s got a toupee and the other reminds me of an old school life guard with sun screen on his nose. Sorry you didn’t score the L&D job. That doesn’t mean never though ! Can you volunteer to get some of the required experience?

winter how are you doing? Do you start IVF soon?

kids are up from naps, I’ll update me later. Hope everyone is good!

 

[WinterBub]

Good luck with your surgery and recovery, flueky! I hope it is all very straight forward and you feel great once it is all over and done with I hope that the new truck is awesome! Sorry you have to deal with all of that, though. Insurance etc is the worst.

Oooo, I love a good house project, Giggle! Share some pics or updates with what you do. Have you ever seen that show Bringing Up Bates? (I'm a sucker for shows about big families ). One daughter (Alyssa Webster) has a YouTube channel, and she set up a beautiful school room for her home school kids.

Sorry about the crazy costs in California, Dobby. I don't know how you do it!! We have a much lower cost of living, and are having to rework our budget, cut costs etc. I think we're going to change phone and internet providers because we need those sweet, sweet intro deals! Thanks, inflation! Any news on OA? How are you feeling as the school year begins?

Love the cats, shae! And that's awesome on scoring the wedding items Hope your wedding planning is coming along! Are you able to ask about getting some of that experience you need at your current hospital? Would be great if they would... Might open up new possibilities there and at outside hospitals too.

Yes, should be starting IVF in a couple of weeks. Wild, but I'm excited! Even if we have a bad outcome (ie. No viable embryos), I'm ready to get going and see what happens. Hard to believe that it is 18m since my 1st pregnancy that ended in miscarriage... I had no idea that there was a lot more difficulty in store. Really hopeful it goes well!

 

[DobbyForever]

UK mom ditto we don’t have anyone in the thread with teens that are ttc. Sorry! Good to have you though! Hoping you find camaraderie soon!

Fluek for sure. Usually they do announcements at BTSN. But also I will not judge if you don’t join haha. I’ve just joined every year as a teacher and give all my professional info, cut the $15 check, and never speak of it again. And frankly I just do it to save face Hoping your surgery went well and the recovery even better!

Gigs don’t forget to update! How did the school space turn out? have you officially started kinder? DS2 is def gonna rock it! He’s got the best teacher

Winter lol it’s all good. Our salaries are inflated af so end of day it evens out. I’ve seen teachers on tv from other states say their salaries, and I’m like WHAT! It’s all relative. Like I make 107, granted I’m on my 11th year and I have a MS so I get paid the highest salary per year plus a stipend. But I hear we’re getting a retro raise of about 6% for this school year. It’s just not signed yet. And gas is finally down to like 5.40 I hope all goes well with he ivf! Time really has gone by. Gosh, on my end it feels like we were just talking about it and now it’s here. So excited for you!

AFM not much. A has his semi private sped swim lessons every saturday locked in now, and it’s only $300/month! It’s technically a private lesson but it’s like 4 private lessons run at the same time, all SPED and frankly he’s the most mild of the group. But since he can do the lesson with the other kids in other lanes and stay in his lane, I’m paying the semi private rate vs private rate. School is going well but he’s struggling at his after school, but the district said they are looking to find a BT to go with him since the after care is on campus so they can fudge it to be covered by the public school vs me going through my insurance! Woot! My friend is coming over in two hours to Marie Kondo my new place lol. A loves it. It has enough familiar things and new things he loves (insane INSANE magical bridges playground nearby, like I’ve seen them before but this one is on steroids) and he loves having the backyard. He loves school. He loves being closer to grandma and grandpa. My mom is in Thailand, and I knew how much I relied on hr but not to this degree. I’m struggling without her here. Contractor has been hard to get to come by. I’m thankful to be moved in, but I’d love that backyard to be done so I can order furniture and work outside while A plays. Called the cops on my neighbor last night as a mandated reporter: they were beating on their SPED kid at 2am. I get it, and I’ll be the first to say like I understand firsthand why SPED kids are more prone to abuse because sometimes, honestly, I want to hit A. But I have enough professional training, therapy, supports, and patience/mindfulness to stop myself. But yeah as soon as I heard the first slap, I was over it and called 911. Things are stressful but good. My teammate at work is incredible. She’s saved my a** repeatedly. I’d be screwed with anybody else.

As for OA. I finally put my foot down. He’s traveling for a month and a half. Basically, I said wtf is going on with us. He said the same thing like do you honestly think you can date someone with my schedule? I’ve never met anyone who could. And we left it at when he gets back, we’ll go to dinner and have a long conversation about what we both want and what we both expect. Then we’ll make a decision about whether or not we’re dating and moving forward or we’re done. I can’t keep sleeping with him though, and idk what his decision is. It’s not about whether he wants to date. I have questions and things I need to see, and I want to make that choice on my own. Like even if we did decide to date, I cannot commit to having his child at this point. I know he said he wants at least 2 more, but honestly if this is his level of support and I have A and then his/who would be our daughter… you want to leave me alone 99% of the time with 3-4 kids? Hard. Pass. I'd rather stay single and just keep pouring all my energy into A.

 

[Flueky88]

Shae ah, well hopefully it won't take too long to iron out the kinks.

Gigs I had my gallbladder removed. I had a liver ultrasound at the end of April and it showed "extensive stones". I have had some pains but rarely anything I would call an "attack". Was just concerned if I waited it would result in emergency surgery. I haven't weighed in about 2 weeks. I do expect I have gained a little bit with being less active and indulged a bit. Oh well, will just have to keep moving forward and not give up I do get it though. It can be hard when you aren't seeing results even with effort.

DH is okay, he had some whiplash but his neck is better. Definitely an inconvenience but we made it work, thankfully. He now has a 2022 F150 XLT. It's really nice and his payments are even cheaper per month than they were for his 2016 that he'd bought new. Only sucks that we are starting over with payments

Please update us about you when you have a moment

Winter, surgery went really well and recovery has as well. Yes dealing with insurance companies sucks!

OMG, I'm getting so excited for you. I am focusing lots of prayers and positivity your way to get your rainbow baby!

Dobby thank you, it all has went well so far. I really could return to work but I'm going to use up the rest of my fmla time the Dr gave me. After channeling so much time and energy to work for months, I need to rest and recharge.

Glad school is going fairly well for A. I am glad he'll get the resources via public school than through insurance. I am sure it is really hard not having your mom. When will she be back?

I don't blame you about not wanting to watch/care for 3 to 4 kids solo for a large majority of the time. That would be a lot for anyone.


I'll post a better update about surgery later.

 

[Flueky88]

Surgery went really well. I got to the surgery center and left within 3 hrs. My incisions are looking good and my pain was well controlled. My pain is very minimal now. Could go back to work if I really wanted but I want some me time and V is out of school until Tuesday. Also, my dad is in so want to spend time with him.

I had my follow up appt today. I opted just for a phone appt as everything is going well and needed the appt before I could get a note releasing me back to work for next week. The Dr did say that I had many stones buy I had one very large stone that was 4.3cm. Dr said that a large stone is 3cm or larger and they rarely go up to 5 cm so shocked by how large of a stone I had. I would have never been able to pass it. My gallbladder was already 4 cm larger than it should be from the inflammation. So I'm very glad I chose surgery before it became an emergency surgery situation.

 

[WinterBub]

Glad to hear that all went well with the surgery, flueky! And always nice to get feedback that it really was the right decision to do it. Hopefully you will feel better with it/the stones out going forward. The new truck sounds great, too!

I wouldn't fret about those future details just yet, Dobby. Even if you have a great relationship with his daughter's mother, it doesn't seem likely that you'd have her while her Dad travels. I can't imagine my LO staying with a hypothetical step parent if we divorced and my OH was away. And in my opinion, if he's the right person for you, y'all would work the details out. Basically, you'd put the work in and it wouldn't be a big deal if you both are totally committed and treat each other/your little family as your absolute #1 priority if he's not your person, then that foundation won't be there. Just my two cents! A's swim lessons sound amazing! And so glad to hear that he's thriving in your new place

Waiting for my cycle to start (likely in the next few days) and to start IVF. Hopefully the long weekend doesn't ruin the timing I wish I could fast forward and find out how everything goes. Obviously worth it if there's a baby/happy ending. Kind of nervous about something going wrong or having a disappointing outcome. Nothing to do but leap and see what happens, I guess.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter thank you, it was really nice to get that reassurance that I made the right decision.

Hope that your AF starts at a good time. You will have to keep us updated with how it all goes.

I finally braved stepping on the scales. I haven't been able to work out, other than walking in almost 2 weeks and I've felt like I've not ate the best. Been trying to do better the past 5 to 6 days though. I lost weight and am finally in the 150s! I am thinking of trying to reach 140 but for now my goal is 150.

 

[WinterBub]

That's amazing! Clearly you've truly changed your lifestyle and made it a permanent thing I'm very jealous!! I am stuck just bouncing around a window of 164-167. I think my ideal is 145-155. So, not terribly far from that, but I just don't seem able to make it. Good for you!

 

[shaescott]

Dobs personally I think if he wasn’t willing to change his job to accommodate his first child, he’s not ever going to do it. He chose his priorities there. I could be judging too harshly, but it’s just my thought process here.

Winter ooo this is the cycle! Will be praying for you that IVF is successful.

Flueks congrats on the weight loss! SO and I keep going to the gym like twice and then stopping, our work schedules are annoying for it but really we’re just tired and feeling too lazy to go. My diet really isn’t bad, I actually need to eat more, I’ve slowed my metabolism by not eating enough I think (not on purpose). But either way, I’m in the 150s and not thrilled about it, mostly because I think I was healthiest at 140ish and up until the last 10 lbs I only gained in the boobs, butt, and thighs, and now I’m gaining in the belly. Not a fan of that. I’d be happy to be 140ish again, I wouldn’t want to go under 135 though, I might start losing the good fat

 

[DobbyForever]

Fluek that’s really awesome about the surgery and recovery. I’m glad you’re not rushing back to work. You deserve the rest and family time. Yikes about the super large stone, but yes so glad you had the surgery and avoided an emergency. You are so strong for carrying on with your day through all of that!

That does stink about having a car payment again, but that’s a great truck! And glad the payments are cheaper than the last one.

Congratulations on the weight loss! That’s so awesome! I agree, it sounds like you’ve got some sustainable changes going on and that’s so huge. I’m not getting on a scale lol. I haven’t worked out in months. My new job has me on my feet more and walking across campus a lot, but I’m eating way worse.

Winter any plans for the long weekend? Hopefully your cycle starts soon and all goes well. All totally expected feelings. FXed

Shae looking at your ticker makes me so happy. I can’t believe we’re just 9 months and 1 week out! Sorry about the work-diet struggle.

AFM just been super busy trying to not f* up at work and struggling without having that 1-1.5 hours after work to get stuff done. I have to pick up A right after work. I love him, but I’m exhausted. My mom is coming back on Wednesday thanks goodness. They had a service on the first at my grandmother’s hometown’s temple. I only saw a few videos and pictures, but she would have loved it. She used to teach a certain style of Thai dance, and they had a group of local school kids put on performances. I’m sure she would have loved it, and now she’s home at the family burial grounds with her parents and siblings, where she wanted to be. A’s school goes full time in a week

Re OA I mean I like to fret the details because if we’re ultimately not compatible then I need to stop seeing him/ sleeping with him. I’ll just get attached and then drag A into something that’ll end up in flames. I don’t want to do that to him. Shae, I don’t think it’s judging harshly. He’s never going to change his line of work, and it will always require extensive travel. It’s only harsh if you think negatively of him for it. Everyone is allowed their priorities in life, and he’s not neglecting his daughter. He has her as much as he can, and when he has her he makes sure it’s always special.

I just don’t know what I want. It’s like babies. I don’t actually want any more kids, but when I see a pregnant woman I have major fomo. I just want a partner because my life is so much about other people, and nobody’s life is about me. Like I want someone on mother’s day or my birthday to take care of me for once. I also want a wedding. Where one day it’s all just about me. This is why I love visiting Thailand. My relatives dote on me and tell me I’m pretty lol. Everything is "especially for Dobby". It's like one of the few things they say in English. We bought this gorgeous purse especially for Dobby, we booked this excursion especially for Dobby, we made this food especially for Dobby. Dobby is so pretty, Dobby is so smart, Dobby is so good, it makes my heart so happy that Dobby is here 24/7 hahaha

 

[DobbyForever]

Low key panicking. So I saw OA Sunday. I turned off my alarm because it always rings mid DTD but told him to remind me to take my pill. Problem was, I took it but forgot to turn my alarm back on or I accidentally turned it off Monday when I took it. Either way, I fully missed Tuesday’s pill and had to double up on Wed. I was so mad at myself. I’ve just been under so much stress. I was getting weird cramps on Sunday and was nauseated with major back pain. I assumed stress, Cosleeping, heat, being on my feet all day, A hitting me. But still was weird so I took a test then and took another this morning because suddenly I don’t want to drink. I thought I saw something as it was developing and in the timeframe, but I don’t trust these shadow lines. Been there done that. But when I finished getting dressed I saw this. Im imagining that, right? Eta to clarify it’s ten days since we DTD and eight since I missed my pill. It was CD 15 that I missed it, too ugh