General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[DobbyForever]

Happy Birthday btw!!!! Do anything special?

 

[Flueky88]

Pretty, I'm thinking that's an indent. It has gotten so bad in the past year or two. I would test again in a few days just to be sure though. Hope SO gets the CPAP asap! Also happy birthday! I am thinking about taking V and S to see that movie.


Gigs I'm glad things are going well with your mom friend. Also so sorry for the lingering symptoms. I hope they are gone by now.

Winter when will you meet with Dr again? Sorry DS had strep.

Dobby sorry OA was being a flake with plans.

Sorry I read along through the week but it's just been hectic. S and E are better but DH has strep. I'm holding onto hope that I escape the sickness this time. I have been taking some elderberry in hopes of boosting my immune system and avoid it.

I'm the admin on call for the past week. It's over at 8 a.m. Monday. So far been a quiet week.

Parents came over yesterday and we had a small Easter dinner. Ham, mashed potatoes, peas, and Crescent rolls. I fixed a box mix of a caramel apple cheesecake I had bought for V's school fundraiser. It was okay. Nothing like homemade but okay for a box mix. I did make dulce de leche in my instant pot to use as a topping and I figure the kids could use it for apples too if they wanted.

My birthday is this week and I've got a couple's massage booked for DH and me. Going to eat out afterwards. Then we will probably have to pick V up from school.

Going to give Easter baskets to the girls after DH gets off from work tonight. Going to boil and dye eggs in a bit. Hope everyone has a happy Easter that celebrates it.

 

[DobbyForever]

Hope hubs feels better and you can stay healthy. The dinner sounds yummy! So lovely they could come over. A couple’s massage sounds divine! FXed things stay chill with work until 8am hehe.

My brother pissed me off, so I told my mom I’m taking A to my stepdad’s for Easter. We’ll stream church from
SoCal. They were training a new pastor. Sweet guy. He was like not too much older than me, two young’s kids…. But he got hit by a car on his bike a few months back . Devastating. Planning to do eggs with this volcano dye situation lol. We’ll do a hunt. A’s vocab is so much better. We could actually talk about Easter and get excited about the bunny coming. We’re doing dinner at Benihana as my mom leaves for Thailand tomorrow. Bake cupcakes. I made A’s Easter basket because he is super into Disney/Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Pretty pleased with myself lol. Made him a snack basket as well with cheesy balls in a carrot bag, some bbq chips, and chocolate bunnies haha.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh and the OA update. So it actually worked out better for me that we moved it to 8 because I was so exhausted after work and had a lot of stuff to do. I was visibly nervous when I got there, and he was like you're clearly anxious talk to me. So I told him it was weird to be in his apartment under this new dynamic. Evidently I was still too anxious after our chat, so he poured me a double shot of tequila and told me to come sit on the couch. We sat and played catch up while he massaged my calves, which was heavenly. Then we watched the latest episode of "The Mandalorian". He told me to come dressed normally and change at his place, but he wouldn't let me change and finally said that we weren't going to DTD because I was clearly anxious and had to drink to calm down (which wasn't entirely true it was the vulnerable conversation and tv watching that helped remind me I trust him). Then we had a long convo about how what I've been taught is a dom/sub relationship isn't normal. That my exes were masochistic and that's not him. It's about trust and safety, so if I don't feel safe then we're not doing it and how he wants to help me reframe my mindset around DTD back to what it should be not what the last string of guys have turned it into. Then he took me to his bed, and I was like okay we're gonna do it because he already told me I can't sleepover he has a meeting at 5am... and then he was like just lay here and fall asleep with me. And he set his alarm for like 4am. And I'm like what happened to me not sleeping over, and he's like just just lay in my arms, be present, and be happy. So naturally he fell asleep and I was stressed out for two hours. Because in a twisted way, I can sleep (DTD) with anyone and it mean nothing. Sleeping in someone's bed and cuddling though... that's emotional for me. So I went to leave around midnight and he's like where are you going, so I told him it was basically a mindf* for me and he said he didn't understand why and I was like I can't sleep here like this I'm gonna go because if I leave now I can transfer A home anyway and not sleep at my mom's. And he's like I don't want you to leave upset explain it to me. Wouldn't it be worse for me to just DTD with you. And I was like no lol. That's the whole issue. So then we did it and I felt bad because I felt like I gaslit him into DTD, but I did fall asleep after so .... awkward. Anyway. That's that. Lots to think about. I need therapy but no time for it.

 

[WinterBub]

Bizarre that you're dealing with strep throat at the same time, Flueky! I didn't realize it was that bad, and really only thought of a sore throat, not chills, aches, fever etc. Could DH have had strep from the girls? They told me that you do beat strep without meds after 5-10 days, but they do give antibiotics to speed it up. Just wondering if that could be what you were dealing with a week or two ago?

FX everything stays quiet while you're on call. At least it's a holiday, so people do try not to deal with medical stuff unless it cant wait!

Hope that you get the CPAP fast for your OH, Pretty. That does sound pretty serious from the sleep study. Does he feel that happening? Or is he always tired from not really sleeping?

I get why you still see him, but I'm team no more OA, Dobby! I think he messes with your chances of finding a relationship that ticks all the boxes. But whatever works for you, I support. I do appreciate that he wasn't trying to sleep with you if he felt you were in the wrong headspace.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter and the Easter Bunny found you!

I'm doing an amnio not this week, but the next one. They will also do another scan as part of that. Then they will contact cardiology and try to get me seen over there. Apparently they like to wait until 22w to see you. I'll be 16w on Monday, so quite a lot of waiting still. Don't know what to think as the scans have been so back and forth. But the doctor was really sure something is up, so I take it that is correct. I have seen diagnoses change in trying to read up on parents' experiences, but for now they think she's missing one of the left chambers of the heart. What shocked me the most is that she has had a good/strong/normal but higher end of normal heartbeat at every scan. The first comment is always "good, strong heartrate". Hard to pair that with her having a serious defect.

 

[Flueky88]

Winter all 3 kids were swabbed but tested negative for strep. However, V's pediatrician said V's throat looked like strep and the urgent care Dr said S's throat looked like strep. So who knows. His dr didn't swab him (he never does) but when I looked at his throat Wednesday night it definitely looked like strep.

Thank you, so far so good. You are right that most time people don't call on holidays. I'm secondary for calls or if there us an issue 1st call can't resolve.

That would be hard to wait that long to see the cardiologist when you are already anxious to find out. I can't recall all the information about heart development in utero but I'm going to pray that it was too early and the other chamber develops fully by 20 weeks.

Dobby cute Easter basket for A! It is so much fun when they start getting into the holidays. We boiled eggs and dyed them. They helped dye some of them. Glad A's vocabulary is much better! It blows my mind how much more kids are expected to know as a Kindergartner.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Flueky - I'd recommend the movie. Even SO enjoyed it. The plot's pretty good and there are a bunch of references and call backs for those of us that grew up with the game. Sorry that DH is sick. Hope he gets better soon and that it skips you completely.

Dobby - Yay for A's vocabulary improving. And that basket looks great. I love Chip and Dale.
I think the fact that you couldn't just cuddle with OA probably does show how other guys have messed up your view on DTD. I feel like being with a seemingly respectful guy will do you some good, but his inability to commit to plans (and you) leaves much to be desired.

Winter - We're waiting to hear from a medical supply store. I feel like we should have been contacted by now. Dunno if they're taking their sweet time cuz the long weekend or they just don't realize the urgency.
FX your amnio goes well. Will that provide any answers about her heart? When I hear about amnios, it just makes me think of down syndrome screening and gender confirmation.

Thanks for the BDay wishes, ladies.

AFM, had a pretty eventful party. A family of 5 was iffy on attending cuz their 18mo had thrown up the night before. I said if he seems to be feeling better and keeping stuff down, then they're welcome to come. We hadn't seen them in 6 months, so I just wanted them to be there. An hour after they show up, their 4yo throws up. We give her a bucket, crackers, and Ginger Ale. A little bit later, throw up again. And then, really shortly thereafter, their 6yo starts throwing up too. So, the dad and I start cleaning the floor and tending to the kids. Once everything's cleaned up, I give them some vomit bags for the ride home and some to-go boxes with cake and cupcakes. Msged the mom later and she said her husband started throwing up as soon as they walked in the door. So, ya. On the plus side, nothing got on the carpet and we didn't have to call 911, like during Matthew's 2nd BDay.
So, regarding HPTs, I Googled the difference between evap lines and faint positives. The test I took yesterday had a faint line again, but it was probably just another evap. Gonna test tomorrow and then I'll be out of tests. If it's negative and my AF still hasn't show up, maybe I'll just order some ICs for emergencies/weekly testing. Is it weird that I'm sitting here like "aww, I miss being pg and then having a newborn", but also "oh, thank God. An EDD so close to XMas would be really crappy." ? lol

 

[WinterBub]

Hope you hear by tomorrow about the CPAP. I bet it is just slow because of the long weekend. Stressful none the less to wait.

Good for you on dying the eggs, Flueky. I always want to, but we never get around to it... Hope DH is better shortly and that'll be it for strep in your house!

If the baby has the heart condition they think she does, about 15% of cases involve a genetic issue. Most commonly DS, Turner Syndrome or Noonan's Syndrome. She's been screened for all of those as an embryo and via NIPT/Vistara test. But . The doctor wanted it done so we have a much info as possible.

 

[DobbyForever]

Lol my mom told my doctor to tell me i could die if I didn’t swallow my antibiotics…. Hindsight seems unethical that they went along with it but to be fair that was the only way those pills were going down

Winter hopefully amino gives good insight. It is hard when there’s a million different outcomes. Hopefully the strong heartbeat is indicative of a best case scenario down the line. I don’t have much info. I know I had to do my anatomy twice because they didn’t love what they saw the first time. Sorry you have to wait so long. I know you screened for a lot already but I’m pro test everything that’s possible

Pretty sorry the company is taking a long time to call you guys. Not weird at all to be partly broody partly relieved. I vote get the ICs anyway. I like having a box on hand. Yikes about the throwing up situation. Hopefully they’re feel better and it doesn’t spread. Love your baskets!!!

Re OA I mean I still look and I’d still go out…. But my standards are so high. It’s whatever for now. I do think he can help me work through some stuff I need to work through, but I also think he’s full of s* lol.

lol hate dying eggs. My mom still ate them but I can’t do it. The idea of eating eggs that sat out or were dyed…. No thanks. So I feel wasteful. The volcano was underwhelming but A liked it so lol

had the last part of A’s neuropsych eval. So tired already and only one day into spring break.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

So, SO just told me he has an appt on Thursday morning to go to the medical supply store and they'll give him the machine and show him how to use and maintain it. Gonna do my best to tag along. Always helps to have a 2nd person there for the run down in case he forgets or misunderstands something. Just like the call with the sleep Dr. The Dr said, word for word, "you stopped breathing 120 times in one hour." By the end of the phone call, SO was like "120 seems like a lot. He probably meant 120 times in the 5 hours I was sleeping." Like, NO! I've heard you stop breathing twice in like 40 seconds. That is entirely believable and why you have SEVERE sleep apnea. This is why men die earlier than women, I STG. -.-

 

[DobbyForever]

Omg yikes 120/hr?! That’s scary! Glad he’s getting the machine. OA has it. It’s another reason I have trouble sleeping with him because if I’m not tired enough (usually not because he’s a tired old man and I’m young and vibrant ) I get freaked out when he stops breathing. Sometimes it feels like forever! Hopefully you can tag along. If not, hopefully there’s written instructions

 

[DobbyForever]

So apparently I can’t be trust to boil water anymore

 

[shaescott]

Winter I’m so sorry to hear about the heart defect. I’ve heard many success stories though of babies needing heart surgery after birth and doing very well afterwards. I’ll be praying for your little girl.

Dobs yikes. I poured boiling water on my hand when I was a kid. I was trying to make tea (which I did often). I didn’t go to the hospital but I did spend the entire day with my hand in a bowl of ice water watching movies with my dad to distract me from the pain.

Pretty yikes re: the sleep apnea. My parents have it about that bad. My dad doesn’t use the CPAP because he can’t sleep with it. My mom won’t sleep without it because she’ll wake up exhausted. I technically have sleep apnea and stopped breathing 20/hr but also can’t really tolerate a CPAP. I should try a different one, but my face just gets itchy right away wherever it’s blocking/touching. Drives me nuts.

 

[DobbyForever]

Yikes! Not surprised you remember that. Hard to forget things.

I’ve dropped pots of boiling water on me before but nothing like this. Usually it’s my stomach and I tend to wear layers when I home. I only had on thin athletic sweatpants. I should have gone to the ER but my mom is gone for two weeks. So I just popped some Advil and ran it until cold water until my stepdad brought me ointments. He saw my leg though. If I was a bio kid , he’d drag me to the hospital lol. My friends were mad at me because if I had dropped it on A then I wouldn’t have hesitated to take him to the ER. The telephone appointment has me send photos, but it hadn’t really blistered at that point. So he just said keep it clean and put an antibiotic ointment on it. But it looked foul this morning so I put A in a “safety tether” to go to minor injury for an appointment. Technically I gave him
A choice to wear it and he chose it so worked out. But yeah they said most of it was 1st/2nd degree but I had two really gnarly blisters. So he said the best course of action was to pop the blisters now and scrape it. Kicker being that the injection to numb hurts like hell esp given your skin is charred so the better option is to tough it out for a small area like mine. He was like bright side you can feel the pain so at least we know your nerves aren’t damaged r.r. Poor A. I had no idea he was gonna sit there and do that so A had to watch it. And so I had to pretend it didn’t hurt because he was getting upset with the doctor. And last thing I need is for him to charge him and hit him while he’s cutting my leg lol. It’s okay except the bandage on my thigh area keeps falling. Only hurts if I walk too much. The total area I burned is like 17 inches long (above knee down to my ankle) and 5 inches wide. Worst of it is on my upper calf. Anyway got my antibiotics and my bandages. Have to change the dressing once a day. Try to relax L.O.L. She was like go home and lay down for the rest of the day and I’m like this kid is only behaving because I promised to take him to the park.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby you did a lovely job dying the eggs!! I also can't bring myself to eat them. I mean it's been out for too long. I chucke the eggs in the "woods" to let nature take care of it and not feel so bad

I hope you got some rest during your break this past week. Sorry about the burn. Those are not fun. Never had a bad one but have treated many burns. Hope it heals quickly. Love silvadene for burns!

Winter my egg dye job is nothing fancy. The girls loved hunting eggs. We did some egg hunts Monday when DH could participate too.

Pretty, we're you able to tag along with SO to medical supply store? I always like having an extra ear to take in information. Oh and yes men usually blow things off or minimize how severe it was.

I hope no one caught the sickness in your household from the party.

I mentioned wanting to take V and S to see the Mario movie and DH seemed okay with that. Will have to con grandma in watching E for us. She actually the easiest typically LOL.

Shae how are you feeling? Getting soooo close to your wedding so excited for you!

AFM I took my birthday off work last week. DH and I had our couples massage. It was nice and we went out to a German restaurant afterwards. It was nice to relax and have kid free time.

I made a banana cream pie cheesecake Monday night and yesterday fixed a strawberry pie. I cheated and bought frozen pie crust for strawberry pie but made my own glaze with fresh strawberries. So tasty I also made some shredded chicken in my instant pot and used it to make my own chicken salad. So good. Will probably have that on rotation for weekly food as it's easy to make and will be a nice quick lunch.

Oh and I bought one of those metal planters. I wasn't wanting to til the land. So I decided to do a small raised garden. Got cucumber, tomato, peppers, green beans, and strawberries. I can't wait and hope they turn out. I'd love a blt with a garden fresh tomato this year. We also bought a few mint plants to try to deter wasps.

 

[WinterBub]

I'm sorry about the burn, Dobby. How is it feeling now? And how did it happen? Hopefully it's healing well, and not giving you too much grief

I hope nobody else got the vomiting but, pretty. That sounds like an absolute nightmare. I hope you got the CPAP and all is going ok with using it.

Your garden plan sounds lovely, Flueky. Not quite the same, but I had an Aero garden at the start of COVID. That was fun! I also learnt a lot about gardening from it. Ie. I didn't realize that tomatoes grow from a flower. I also didn't realize I'd have to hand pollinate as it was inside and no bugs would do it for me.

AFM- had the amnio today and another scan, which showed the same issues. She has a small stomach that may be in the wrong spot, and they're fairly sure she has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. Basically only half her heart works. Pretty devastating all around. I feel so guilty about creating this life. The amnio itself was also quite painful and took a couple of tries to complete. I thought we'd avoided this kind of outcome by not trying naturally

 

[Flueky88]

Winter you know I never really thought about it and wouldn't have realized either. I mean it makes sense that bees wouldn't pollinate it since it's inside but still.

I'm so sorry it wasn't better news dear I wish I could make you feel better. Feel free to vent on here or you can send me a message if you want to.

 

[DobbyForever]

Well the nurse who did my bandages today said usually you don’t use xeroform on a burn in the first few days and, if you do, it should be changed twice a day to avoid exactly what happened to me. They stuck to my skin. She had to apply lidocaine twice and soak them to get them off and it still hurt like hell. She put some new stuff on that’s supposed to stay until Thursday and then I’ll change them one more time and hopefully by then it’s supposed to heal. But I’m prone to keloids and heal slow so we’ll see. She said my skin could be discolored for 1-2 years. I believe it. Had smaller scars/injuries take longer than that to disappear. Sigh. I know I don’t want a guy who cares that my leg looks like a freaking raptor attacked it (the water got caught in the folds of my pants and created lines of burned skin) but it’s definitely cramping my style. Sorry I haven’t caught up. In a lot of pain and trying to chase after A. I took today off but I’m going back to work tomorrow.

It was stupidity. I was cooking and brought a pot to a raging boil. I brought it forward off the back burner to put something in it, but I realized I left my ingredients on the counter behind me. It was late and I was tired and I don’t have good depth/peripheral vision. So when I turned to around to grab it, I guess my arm or elbow knocked the pot off the stove and onto the bottom part of my leg. The worst of it is right below my knee. It was 4.5” by 7” of a blister that had to be removed. Have a few smaller blisters in about 3 places. 1 they treated in clinic last week, 1 ruptured on its own yesterday, and the other cluster they just covered today.

 

[DobbyForever]

Winter just saw your update. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I could possibly say to make this easier for you and your family. Please vent here if it helps. Hugs.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - Jesus! Wishing you a speedy recovery. I apparently had a cup of hot coffee dropped on my head when I was a toddler cuz I bumped into a guy at a McD's. A manager sprayed something on me to prevent damage or something, as my parents have told me. Luckily, I have zero memory of this and no damage to my head. I don't really know what else to say. Will your skin eventually be completely healed, or will there always be a bit of discolouration?

Winter - So sorry for more bad news. *hugs* Have they been able to give you any options for what to do going forward? Or any idea of her odds of making it to delivery? Keeping you in my thoughts.

Flueky - Ooo, that cheesecake sounds sooo good. Glad you and DH had some alone time and sounds like your BDay was pretty great.

Re: SO's CPAP. Was able to go with him to the appt. It was pretty straight forward. Just let him pick a mask he liked and got some cleaning instructions. The machine was already calibrated to him. He's used it every night since and he's breathing much better and seems to actually be able to get some sleep with it on. He had a follow up sleep study last Thursday; same day he picked up his machine. And he used the CPAP for that appt. Just waiting to hear the results in a week or so. In other news, he had some blood work done (also on last Thursday) and just found out his A1C is down to 9.3 from 11.1. So, much improved.

Re: BDay party sickos. Luckily, any sickness was contained to their family. The mom ended up with it too. But they're all better now.

AFM, still no AF since Feb 14. Haven't tested in over a week. We've only DTD once since then, with a condom. May test again next week if nothing's happened.
Zoey's doing a lot of unsupported standing and taking a couple steps here and there.
Otherwise, not much else to report.