General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[shaescott]

Apparently my urine progesterone doesn’t drop below 10 until it my bleeding gets past spotting and onto proper bleeding. I definitely think there’s a delay in the urine or something, cuz a previous cycle I had a temp drop with elevated urine progesterone. Guess I should use the temps when I’m TTC.

Re: hubby, yeah I feel that. Major problem is that he has ADHD, and when there was an adderall shortage a year or two ago, he couldn’t get it for a month so decided to just stop taking it. He wasn’t in school anymore so didn’t need as much focus. Now that he’s trying to learn again, it’s a lot harder. He sent an inquiry to a local psychiatrist to try to get an appointment and get back on the adderall, because as much as he hates relying on meds, he really needs it to be able to learn new material like this coding stuff. Hopefully he’ll do better once he gets back on it.

 

[DobbyForever]

That’s rough. That was a headache. I got lucky that A’s dose was so small. Each scrip was 30 pills of 5mg. So the only time I had trouble (like took an extra 2h) to fill it was when my local pharmacy went on strike. But yeah I heard horror stories for others. Hopefully he’s able to get back on it quickly.

I’m with Gigs because everyone I know finds a way. That’s just part of parenting. But SO’s advocate, my parenting journey is hard because we’re navigating the realm of neurodivergence. Outside of that, I had everything I wanted checked off before I had A. So I don’t have to find a way or struggle. Being married was never part of my checklist. I never had the trust or model to see two happy married people live out a lifetime together so in my picture I always saw myself being a single mother. Having my condo, having my job (both in salary and security), my education, being close to my family. But my motto is money can but happiness I think y’all know me enough by now to know I’m superficial af. So example of making it work.
- I had a bad day so I doordashed myself $200 worth of seafood and spritzers.
- My cousin got a craving and followed suit but she cooked at home.
When I complimented her because her smorgasbord looked amazing, she said (it a playful but also not really joking way) because she has an army to feed (5 bio kids and 1 step kid) that she can’t afford to take them out to restaurants on a whim so instead she learns to cook restaurant quality food at home.
- A rides horses. It’s pricey.
- My cousin lives in TX and there’s horses everywhere. She wished her kids rode but she never encouraged it because she can’t afford it.
Her kids literally do not care. Her oldest is off to college in the fall. They run track, play football, have social lives. They are not lacking. She has a high school diploma and her husband is a truck driver. She gets zero emotional or financial support from her parents. She had her first kid at like 19 with a 40 year old creep. She just had her last two years ago at like 34/35. On paper, her kids and life should be a hot mess. Yet they’re doing it.

 

[DobbyForever]

The only upside to me having my ducks in a row other than funding my child’s expensive hobbies is that he will be inheriting general wealth from the assets my mom and I acquired in our lifetime. But meh my mom got NOTHING when her parents died. She loved her parents. She had a hard but good life. Same with my stepdad. He inherited nothing and worked through college. Joined the army. That’s how he bought his first house, GI Bill or whatever. He just got lucky he bought a like 90k house that’s now worth 7 million. Assets are great. Assets are optional.

 

[DobbyForever]

Last post lol I’m not awake to be concise it’s April. He has 5/6 months until proposed TTC start date. That’s a lot of time to get his ish together

 

[shaescott]

Yeah, if we could afford at least an apartment, he’d be fine with TTC. Unfortunately, we literally can’t afford it with me making $70k a year. Especially in VT. So he needs a job first.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ok I know the house wasn’t in as great of shape as you hoped but remind me why you need an apartment if you have a stable living place that you could have a kid in?

Did I mention nurses in my area make 6 figures? Sure you need all 6 to survive but heeeey I’m doing it. Plus you’d have a second income with SO

 

[DobbyForever]

He’s got six months to get a job. As Tim Gunn says, make it work! FXed the meds sitch is resolved though because seeing A on versus off meds…. I get it lol

 

[shaescott]

Honestly, DH doesn’t want to have a kid here. We just found mold on the wall of the guest room, likely coming from the washer/dryer. It’ll be impossible to get the mouse nests completely gone (though we’ve made a night and day difference per the exterminator). Also there’s no getting the house for free, we’d have to buy it from the family after my papa dies. It’s really ideal for us to not be here when we have a baby. I would feel terrible moving back into an apartment though, because our cats are LOVING the space here, and my papa loves the friendly one, he’s a lap sitter. I hope that he’ll get the job and we can move to a place with semi-affordable house renting. If it’s somewhere we love, we’d of course consider buying, but we don’t have the funds for a down payment at the moment. As much as I want a baby, I’m sadly on DH’s side here. It’s smarter to wait until we can afford rent wherever we’re working.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ooooo k I remember that now. Yeah that’s no bueno. Are you at least finding that you’ve been able to save money rn? Or not really? Don’t feel bad. My cat was happiest in my one bedroom LA apartment as an indoor only cat because she just got to be with me all day every day lol. Definitely look into down payment first time buyer! My bro makes bank but he was saying he can still only put 10% if he has an escrow account with mortgage insurance. He’s looking at 1 bedroom apartments rn. But yeah it’s hard to make any big moves or plans off on income/job info so hopefully SO gets it in gear

 

[shaescott]

Dobs we’ve stopped losing money that’s about it. Thank God for our savings from travel nursing. Idk what we’d do without that cushion. And our cats are young, they like running around the house. And bird watching since we’re in the woods lol

 

[DobbyForever]

My cat was indoor/outdoor and definitely loved to roam and especially loved to hunt. It was low key problematic lol. I'd wake up to all sorts o "lovely" presents middle of the night. The worst was when we went on vk and we left the cat door unlocked so she wouldn't be held up inside all week. I guess she thought it'd be cool to rip a hole in the bottom of my boxspring and put a bird in there. We searched my room high and low for days trying to find the source of the rotting flesh smell. My parents made me sleep in the room despite the smell. One day she crawled in there and that how I found it. Thank goodness my stepdad had the foresight to make us carry it outside before ripping it open because it was just maggots upon maggots. Anyway back to the point LOL so we went from that for 8 years to the 1 bed apartment that didn't allow pets so she wasn't allowed outside for 2 years to the 2 bedroom condo where she refused to go outside. Wish that was the end of the journey lol. That poor cat moved with me (and once without me) so many times. They'll be ok, promise.

Hey! A win is a win. Not losing money is great! Every step counts! It's really too bad about the mice and mold situation. Would have been nice to have your cake and eat it too for a bit.

 

[shaescott]

Dobs our cats are indoor only. Too many ticks for them to bring in, and honestly idk if they’re smart enough to be outside unsupervised I’d consider it if not for the ticks, but I already found one crawling on me the other day after going outside for less than a minute, so we’d be doomed. I don’t want to be on a perpetual doxycycline course, nor do I want to be pulling ticks off me

 

[DobbyForever]

You’re really selling this place lol. Lol fair fair they’ll still be fine haha. Promise. How long do you think it’ll take for SO to get back on the meds? I feel like things move quick for A but all my friends say it takes forever

 

[shaescott]

Dobs we got him an intake appointment for May 10th. They had one end of April but we’ll be on vacation out of state. Honestly, less than a month is great, I can’t complain.

 

[Jezika]

Hi friends, I caught up and wanted to respond to a few topics but now I’m falling asleep and still need to catch up on some hypnobirthing videos before baby comes so I’ll just come to say no baby yet. Due date is on Thursday (18th) and induction is booked for 25th if he’s not come by then. I’m a blimplike hormonal mess.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

shae - Jeez, that sounds like quite the laundry list of issues. We're all rooting for a shae baby sooner rather than later, but it doesn't hurt to wait a little longer for financial stability and to be in a safer dwelling. Hopefully they have DH's meds in stock and he can get back on them ASAP.

Jez - I need to start listening to my hypnobirthing audio files too. FX Miles comes quickly and safely and soon.

Gigs - I'm alright. Been noticing more lower back pain and some foot swelling recently. June seems like it's so far away. I can't even comprehend finishing this month and then getting through all of May too. I'm not over being pg though. It's just hard to believe my belly's gonna get bigger and heavier. That being said, when I think about it in weeks or days (7 weeks/49 days, give or take), then it seems so close. lol

Dobs - I meant Ryleigh, not Raleigh, in my post a few weeks ago. Dunno if my phone autocorrected or what. Regardless, IF we use that name, we're definitely not using that spelling. lol. So, don't wanna get you all riled up, but what's going on with OA now? Can't remember if you said what your plan with him was. Are you just cutting ties and that's that?

Winter - Thinking of you and baby Florence.

Re: names. In grade 9, I literally made a list of a bunch of baby names I liked. Alexander was on that list. So, his name was decided 15 years before I had him. Also, I knew 1000% that my first daughter would be Emma, but we all saw how that turned out. lol. SO never really liked that name and these days, I don't really like how it's always in the yearly top 5. I know I decided I liked Matthew before he was even conceived, but I can't remember if Alex was already born yet or not.

In other news, I went for a growth scan a few-ish weeks ago (at 30 weeks exactly) and the results were that baby girl was in the 99th percentile. I pointed out that my LMP and all but one of my scans gave me an EDD of May 30th and, when the MW took that into account, her percentage went down to 91. Still large, but not crazy. And I never expected to give birth to any baby under 7lbs. So, long story short, I have another scan this Thursday at the hospital cuz their equipment is more accurate and we'll see what the results are. My MW is also predicting I won't pop as late as I did with Matthew and Zoey, but we shall see.

 

[DobbyForever]

Shae bummer it’s a month out but it’ll fly by. Hoping they can get him meds same day.

Jez oooo what’s hypnobirthing? Sorry you’re not feeling great. Hopefully Miles comes out on his own and soon hugs

Pretty ooo I was like Raleigh the city? Have I been saying it wrong oh I haven’t talked to OA or my ex bestie in over a month. I’m pretty sure I drove past him on my way to my doctor (it’s literally walking distance to his house). But I didn’t give him a second look. Felt like God was testing me

Ooo definitely update us on the hospital scan. Nice to see your daughter extra but also hope it’s not too inconvenient to head to the hospital.

Afm kids were a mess yesterday. I almost sent three to the office. The disrespect was outrageous. A was really challenging over spring break so that didn’t help my lack of patience.

 

[Jezika]

Ooh quiet thread. How is everyone?

Quick update that I’m 41 weeks (technically 41+1 coz it’s past midnight). Still pregnant obv. Induction got rescheduled for 26th because the ward was overbooked. Had a stretch and sweep two days ago and it turned out I was 3cm dilated but cervix was thick (not effaced?). Had some pain and major discomfort that day/night (last night) but nothing since. Have to call the hospital as 6:30am to see if and when they can have me in for the induction. Hope they don’t bloody reschedule again. And also hope I don’t go into labour overnight. Really want access to epidural and nor have hubby driving me to hospital in a panic in the middle of the night.
In other news, am so done with pregnancy and continue to be so bitter about going so over whereas no one else seems to even go over 40 weeks, other than a couple people. SIL was due over a week later than me and yet she had her baby now 5 days ago. Granted it was an elective c-section but it still all feels like a repeat of when Matilda was born where she was due at the start of the month and literally all 15-20 women in my December babies group gave birth before me and I was just a bitter, hormonal, extremely uncomfortable mess. Anyway, I’m mostly okay but have my moments. I wish I could’ve at least made the most of this extended relative freedom.

Will keep y’all posted!

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Dobby - According to an online dictionary, hypnobirthing is "a method of managing pain and anxiety during childbirth, involving various therapeutic relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization." Women usually listen to audio files to help get in the mindset. The book I read suggested listening every night from about 30 week, if memory serves me. I should probably thumb through that book for any refresher tips.
The hospital visit wasn't bad. I actually have a hospital less than 10 mins from my house (by car). It's hard for me to wrap my head around people needing to get on the highway and/or travel over an hour to get to a hospital. The tech didn't really tell me anything, which I kind of how they do things at most scans here. My next MW appt is on Wednesday, so I guess I'll get the results then. Still assuming no news is good news. Also, that appt will a home visit just to double check that everything is in order for my homebirth. It's getting so close!

Jez - It's just past 2am on the 27th here, so hopefully that means Miles is out and you're too busy soaking up baby snuggles to update us. Which is totally fine. But, if not, we're still thinking of you and wishing you a speedy postpartum recovery.

 

[DobbyForever]

Ditto hoping all went well with the induction

Major legal crisis over here