General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[autumnal]

I cannot wait to test I'm feeling so impatient!! Monday feels so far off. But I'm 7 dpo today and no good symptoms..

 

[shaescott]

Whelp BFN today, spotting increased slightly, progesterone is still super low, and my temp took a small dip, so I’m calling it. Oh well. At least I get to drink at DH’s best friend’s New Year’s Eve party

Unfortunately the PMS mood is hitting and I am very overstimulated today, every sound that isn’t directly under my control to stop is bad, so I’m hiding in my bedroom listening to Christmas music while DH does his ADHD multitasking thing of watching a TV show on his phone while making himself ramen because God forbid he do any task ever without videos playing in the background (can you tell this pisses me off immensely?). The man is incapable of finding his damn headphones. Also I had to change into a tank top because I got overheated with rage when he was eating Reese’s puffs. I’m starting to think the idea of being sent away to a hut during menstruation might not be a terrible thing I told DH that if we ever get rich, I want either a cabin in the woods or a soundproofed room in the basement where I can go hide (he suggested a lobotomy, might be cheaper), I just need modern plumbing, electricity, heat/ac, and a comfy bed. Ideally I wouldn’t be able to hear any appliance noises, those would drive me up a wall. Fridge compressors in a quiet room are the worst, I started sleeping with earplugs in college because the mini fridge was so damn loud. Bonus for a TV and nice speaker system in said room/cabin. I like noise when I can control it. The moment it’s out of my control to shut off or change immediately, we’ve got a problem (when I’m super overstimulated, usually amplified by being hormonal, most days I deal perfectly fine). Anyway, somehow my mom didn’t ever suspect I might be autistic

 

[gigglebox]

I was just going to say Shae, with all due respect, are you on the spectrum? The older I get, the more I realize I probably am…especially since I’m fairly certain my Dad had Asperger’s and my first kiddo is HFA…well there must be a link in between lol.

Anyway so sorry about the negative but yay for New Year’s parties! And Christmas too! Don’t be too harsh with hubby!

Autumnal look at you! I’m impressed by your determination. 7dpo and I’d have the cheapies out at least. I will say I don’t put any stock into any symptoms anymore, especially not after this last time. I mean I had zero inklings I might be pregnant. So you never know!

 

[HalfricanMa]

Don't feel bad if you don't get started as soon as you'd like ... Lots of people these days are starting in their 30s and managing to have like five or six shockingly!!! I'm one of those who can't get pregnant while breastfeeding so it takes me forever to produce them hahahah

I am the same way!! Breastfeeding totally stops my cycle entirely! Hence, the provera this time to kick start it and after baby 1 they just used clomid because I wasnt getting my first pp period. Lmao!

 

[HalfricanMa]

Whelp BFN today, spotting increased slightly, progesterone is still super low, and my temp took a small dip, so I’m calling it. Oh well. At least I get to drink at DH’s best friend’s New Year’s Eve party

Unfortunately the PMS mood is hitting and I am very overstimulated today, every sound that isn’t directly under my control to stop is bad, so I’m hiding in my bedroom listening to Christmas music while DH does his ADHD multitasking thing of watching a TV show on his phone while making himself ramen because God forbid he do any task ever without videos playing in the background (can you tell this pisses me off immensely?). The man is incapable of finding his damn headphones. Also I had to change into a tank top because I got overheated with rage when he was eating Reese’s puffs. I’m starting to think the idea of being sent away to a hut during menstruation might not be a terrible thing I told DH that if we ever get rich, I want either a cabin in the woods or a soundproofed room in the basement where I can go hide (he suggested a lobotomy, might be cheaper), I just need modern plumbing, electricity, heat/ac, and a comfy bed. Ideally I wouldn’t be able to hear any appliance noises, those would drive me up a wall. Fridge compressors in a quiet room are the worst, I started sleeping with earplugs in college because the mini fridge was so damn loud. Bonus for a TV and nice speaker system in said room/cabin. I like noise when I can control it. The moment it’s out of my control to shut off or change immediately, we’ve got a problem (when I’m super overstimulated, usually amplified by being hormonal, most days I deal perfectly fine). Anyway, somehow my mom didn’t ever suspect I might be autistic

That might be a challenge when an uncontrollable baby comes along. But on a positive note, when you have 10 minutes, check out on youtube Drew Lynch “Being married to someone with ADHD”. It’s a standup act. My DH has adhd and it’s prevalent in his family. I found that 10 min comedic act so hysterical that I texted it to his family group text. Everyone died laughing and we now frequently quote it!

 

[shaescott]

I was just going to say Shae, with all due respect, are you on the spectrum? The older I get, the more I realize I probably am…especially since I’m fairly certain my Dad had Asperger’s and my first kiddo is HFA…well there must be a link in between lol.

Anyway so sorry about the negative but yay for New Year’s parties! And Christmas too! Don’t be too harsh with hubby!

I’m not diagnosed, but I like to say I’ve been diagnosed by peer review getting diagnosed as a woman who is able to function in public spaces 99.9% of the time, makes great eye contact, and just has misophonia and also has supbar social skills, is near impossible. If I was having frequent meltdowns maybe it would be different, but I’m not. Also, without my misophonia trigger sounds being involved, I really don’t get overstimulated. Apparently it doesn’t count as autism overstimulation if there’s a specific trigger sound, only if it’s from too many sounds/sensory inputs at once. Once one of those triggers is introduced (chewing gum, eating crunchy foods, lip smacking, etc [just typing those out makes me uncomfortable agh]), my brain begins to go into fight or flight mode. The good news is that usually I can walk away from those sounds, or at least within a few minutes. If I’m not hormonal, off my Prozac, or already frustrated by something else, I can last a few minutes until escape becomes available, and even if those things are true I often am able to control my reaction for a short period of time. It’s when there’s no escape from the sound that’s the problem. I will hyperfixate on the sound, start overheating, plan escape routes, try to think of appropriate ways to ask the person to stop making the sound without being disrespectful (sometimes not an option at all cuz people are allowed to eat food), and desperately do everything I can not to let myself snap. So yeah, I worry immensely about when my children are too young to understand how to chew with their mouths closed. But anyway, I didn’t yell at hubby, don’t worry, I told him I was going to go hide in the bedroom so I didn’t snap at him, and he understood.

 

[shaescott]

That might be a challenge when an uncontrollable baby comes along. But on a positive note, when you have 10 minutes, check out on youtube Drew Lynch “Being married to someone with ADHD”. It’s a standup act. My DH has adhd and it’s prevalent in his family. I found that 10 min comedic act so hysterical that I texted it to his family group text. Everyone died laughing and we now frequently quote it!

Yeah, I’m not worried about crying/yelling terribly much, just slurping/eating noises. When they’re a baby if they’re a loud breastmilk drinker I can just throw in some headphones if I really need to, but once they’re a bit older and loudly chomping on solid foods, they’ll need my full attention. Hopefully I’ll find it cute

I feel like I’ve heard of that comedian. I’ll look it up!

 

[autumnal]

I had a coworker who hated the noises of bird song and sometimes it would frustrate her so much she would scream. We work outside so it was kind of a problem!! I wore earplugs a lot when my oldest was a baby because he was a screamer.. it's a life saver

 

[shaescott]

I had a coworker who hated the noises of bird song and sometimes it would frustrate her so much she would scream. We work outside so it was kind of a problem!! I wore earplugs a lot when my oldest was a baby because he was a screamer.. it's a life saver

Ouch. Yeah from the outside looking in, it’s like “why is this person so freaked out by a normal noise, like chill tf out”, that would totally be my first reaction, but when you’re the person it’s like “this is the worst sound in the world and my entire nervous system is setting itself on fire”. Misophonia is a really crappy disorder, it can really disrupt your life, and it sucks cuz you know your reaction isn’t logical. I definitely think my noise cancelling earbuds will come in handy!

 

[Jules8]

I have worked with adults with autism for 12 years. It’s so complex and interesting to see how overstimulation is different in each person. In the home I supervise my one client lovesss noise and interacting with people. He listens to loud pop music and literally runs outside to his porch when someone is cutting the grass. His stim is swinging his head back and forth…almost constantly. He also scratches and taps. My other client is completely different. He hand flaps and paces. He prefers quiet and isn’t huge on being around people, but likes to sit with one or two. Both are non-verbal. We have 5 other homes and every single person is different. We rarely see women because the universal autism screening is based on the most common characteristics and those don’t present the same in girls. Many girls are good at masking so a lot aren’t diagnosed til they’re much older. They’re also lumping things like adhd, add, and what used to be Asperger’s into the autism spectrum. We live in such an overstimulating word. Lights are brighter, are minds are multitasking, things move faster, People that may have been able to cope are having a much harder time.

 

[autumnal]

I get overwhelmed by our modern world so much too, I can't imagine how it is for somebody who has those issues. For me driving in urban areas is just too stressful and even walking through cities - there's just too much going on. I live in the countryside luckily but when we used to live in New Jersey I was scared to drive in some places there. I definitely understand that misophonia is a legitimate problem and can really have a bad effect on someone's life.. it's interesting that some people get it for chewing versus other types of noises. I wonder why?

One of my friends has a son with autism, and it has a pretty huge effect on his life, he has to go to a special school. They have another child so they have to bring them to two different schools every day. It must be tough.

 

[gigglebox]

Apparently it doesn’t count as autism overstimulation if there’s a specific trigger sound, only if it’s from too many sounds/sensory inputs at once.

omg this is definitely me with the kids. When two of them are screaming at once, I am on edge. When all three call for me at the same time, I lose my shit. I have two things that will instantly trigger my rage -- that's one, the other is yelling in my ear. But oddly enough I like background noise and hate silence....so.....I don't know what that means lol

Jules that sounds pretty fascinating. It's such an interesting thing because it can present in so many different ways, especially with the "stimming". My oldest was a arm flapper when he was younger but has gotten a hold of it since he's grown. Now I always forget my oldest brother was also on the spectrum I'm fairly certain. He's just crazy smart and he had skills like geography...but maybe not the best social skills. He also had "oppositional definance disorder" as a kid. He was a troubled youth but turned it around -- he was expelled from high school, but went on to graduate with honors from college and is now working in law and married to a physicians assistant (they both make 6 figures). Anyway my brother used to hold his arms out straight and kind of stim with his fingers...? I don't know how to describe it, but he did it well into his teens. Not sure if he still does it but I wouldn't be surprised!

My mom taught special education has seen it all, including hair pickers. She had one kid she said was sweet as can be but would pull his hair out and the other kids made fun of him breaks my heart.

I don't have any "stims" as such but I hate silence so much that if I'm in a silent place I have to start making some noise for myself. Classic example is waiting in a car alone when it's off -- I start shuffling around or scratching the material of my pants just to make some noise. I hate silence.

That's really interesting about women vs. men on the spectrum. Wait "used to be Aspergers" -- is that not a diagnosis anymore?? I'm conviced that's what my Dad was. He fit a lot of the telltale "symptoms".

Autumn where are you at dpo--wise? Have you tested yet? You sound like my husband with driving lol. He gets STRESSED driving through cities! We have an unspoken rule when we travel, that he does the long stretches and I'll drive in the congestion. Sounds stressful having to take kids to different schools but I guess it's no different than having to drop an older kid off at high school and a younger one off at middle school.

I stumbled across this "autistic guessing game" video on youtube the other day which I found amusing. The funny thing is they kind of verbalize their guesses and reasoning, and a lot of their reasons, I'm like, I do that! I figured they put way too many people in the autistic box... I'm like, wait that's just a normal trait though...isn't it? Turns out their radar is better than mine! I learned some things about myself lol.

Shae when I saw it I immediately thought the blonde chick making the guesses reminds me of you I guess I picture you as being young and "bubbly" -- although I don't imagine you are as bouncy as she is. Also I hope that's not insulting, I found her cute and friendly.

 

[Jules8]

omg this is definitely me with the kids. When two of them are screaming at once, I am on edge. When all three call for me at the same time, I lose my shit. I have two things that will instantly trigger my rage -- that's one, the other is yelling in my ear. But oddly enough I like background noise and hate silence....so.....I don't know what that means lol

Jules that sounds pretty fascinating. It's such an interesting thing because it can present in so many different ways, especially with the "stimming". My oldest was a arm flapper when he was younger but has gotten a hold of it since he's grown. Now I always forget my oldest brother was also on the spectrum I'm fairly certain. He's just crazy smart and he had skills like geography...but maybe not the best social skills. He also had "oppositional definance disorder" as a kid. He was a troubled youth but turned it around -- he was expelled from high school, but went on to graduate with honors from college and is now working in law and married to a physicians assistant (they both make 6 figures). Anyway my brother used to hold his arms out straight and kind of stim with his fingers...? I don't know how to describe it, but he did it well into his teens. Not sure if he still does it but I wouldn't be surprised!

My mom taught special education has seen it all, including hair pickers. She had one kid she said was sweet as can be but would pull his hair out and the other kids made fun of him breaks my heart.

I don't have any "stims" as such but I hate silence so much that if I'm in a silent place I have to start making some noise for myself. Classic example is waiting in a car alone when it's off -- I start shuffling around or scratching the material of my pants just to make some noise. I hate silence.

That's really interesting about women vs. men on the spectrum. Wait "used to be Aspergers" -- is that not a diagnosis anymore?? I'm conviced that's what my Dad was. He fit a lot of the telltale "symptoms".

Autumn where are you at dpo--wise? Have you tested yet? You sound like my husband with driving lol. He gets STRESSED driving through cities! We have an unspoken rule when we travel, that he does the long stretches and I'll drive in the congestion. Sounds stressful having to take kids to different schools but I guess it's no different than having to drop an older kid off at high school and a younger one off at middle school.

I stumbled across this "autistic guessing game" video on youtube the other day which I found amusing. The funny thing is they kind of verbalize their guesses and reasoning, and a lot of their reasons, I'm like, I do that! I figured they put way too many people in the autistic box... I'm like, wait that's just a normal trait though...isn't it? Turns out their radar is better than mine! I learned some things about myself lol.

Shae when I saw it I immediately thought the blonde chick making the guesses reminds me of you I guess I picture you as being young and "bubbly" -- although I don't imagine you are as bouncy as she is. Also I hope that's not insulting, I found her cute and friendly.

Nope, the DSM-5 changed it a few years back and it’s no longer a diagnosis, Asperger’s is now considered ASD.

 

[autumnal]

@gigglebox Im 10 dpo today, going to test tomorrow morning but I'm thinking it's going to be BFN because I feel like I have period cramps

 

[shaescott]

I have worked with adults with autism for 12 years. It’s so complex and interesting to see how overstimulation is different in each person. In the home I supervise my one client lovesss noise and interacting with people.

Yeah I like loud music and social interaction, most noises don’t bother me at all. Actually I also kinda like the sound of a lawn mower. It’s a constant droning sound, I think it’s almost comforting. A ticking clock on the other hand? I once stuck a clock outside cuz I couldn’t sleep with it ticking away. I don’t get overstimulated by too many noises unless there’s also a specific negative stimulus (like my misophonia triggers), or if I’m in a really bad mood/super anxious for a different reason, then I’m just pissed off by everything lol which is different.

For me driving in urban areas is just too stressful and even walking through cities - there's just too much going on. I live in the countryside luckily but when we used to live in New Jersey I was scared to drive in some places there. I definitely understand that misophonia is a legitimate problem and can really have a bad effect on someone's life.. it's interesting that some people get it for chewing versus other types of noises. I wonder why?

Dude driving in cities is the worst. It’s so confusing and overwhelming, I can’t stand it. I don’t mind walking through cities (as long as I have Google maps), but trying to navigate in a car? Nope. Absolutely not. DH can do that.
I have no idea why chewing is a common misophonia trigger. I’ll have to look that up, it’s an interesting question. There might not be an answer

I don't have any "stims" as such but I hate silence so much that if I'm in a silent place I have to start making some noise for myself. Classic example is waiting in a car alone when it's off -- I start shuffling around or scratching the material of my pants just to make some noise. I hate silence.

I always listen to music in the car. I don’t hate silence per se, but I prefer to have music playing, otherwise it just feels kinda weird and like something is missing. Sounds like your aversion to silence is much stronger.

Wait "used to be Aspergers" -- is that not a diagnosis anymore??

Yeah it’s just part of ASD now. I heard it was partly because the disorder was named after a Nazi? So they didn’t want to use the name anymore. But it may also have been because a lot of people don’t like considering someone high or low functioning since all people with autism suffer different symptoms and struggle to function in different ways (which makes no sense to me because there’s a definitive difference between an autistic rocket scientist and a nonverbal autistic person, but that’s just my opinion).

Shae when I saw it I immediately thought the blonde chick making the guesses reminds me of you

Honestly I don’t think you’re far off there I’m quite bubbly and bouncy. Also blonde, although not that blonde lol

As I told my sister last night, when I was 15 I made a pregnancy information binder including a spreadsheet on pregnancy test brand sensitivity and unit price, and my mom went “this is normal teenager behavior and not at all an indicator of autism”, like ????? Mom what?????

 

[autumnal]

That's hilarious about your pregnancy test binder lmao.

 

[Jules8]

I have ADHD and have a few sound triggers. People chewing food, tapping, or pretty much most repetitive sounds are the worst. I also get what I call the hyper jitters where my arms and body just feels restless. I will lightly scratch my arms or if my husband is around, I’ll have him rub my head. I wasn’t diagnosed til an adult, but had it my whole life. I went to a small Christian school and I’m not sure they really looked out for that stuff, especially being a girl and it being the 90s. My mom kept my report cards and they all said the same thing for comments. I was lovely…but talked too much, was easily distracted, and sometimes got sent to the hallway to take tests. I also spent a year with my desk facing a wall and a year with my desk next to the teachers desk. When I got to college I had a professor ask politely if I needed accommodations. I have worked really hard to manage. I have a lot of reminders and to do lists to help with tasks. I also time myself doing things because I tend to lose track of time.

Oh! I posted on my pregnancy journal, but I know not everyone pops around. We found out Friday we’re having another girl! My son is now outnumbered 3-1. I knew from the beginning so I wasn’t surprised. lol

 

[RedRose19]

im autistic and all 4 of my kids are too i assume this baby prob will be too.

 

[gigglebox]

omg Shae your hyper fixation was pregnancy at 15?! That's wild!

Jules that hits home so hard. I also had a lot of the same notes on my card. As and adult now I wonder if I am ADHD or just a spectrum girlie but I feel like an official diagnosis at this point would be useless. Not sure if I said it but I was tested in my teens with some weird test where I just sat in a room alone at a computer where I had to hit the space bar when the letter X popped on the screen. I have no idea how that works but they said I was something like 75% likely to not have it.....? Like what even is that, as a test...?? Wow a year next to the teacher. Did you get harassed for that by students or was it just a normal thing? Is poor time management part of ADHD? I guess that's another box I can tick. I am very guilty of always thinking I have time to squeeze in tasks before I have to be somewhere. You'd think proving myself wrong on that a million times would stop me from doing it over and over again but nope.

Welcome back Red! Haha you're in good company here it looks like lol

 

[autumnal]

Bfn here! I'm most likely out for this month! It would be nice to have an autumn or winter baby anyhow...