Getting Fit Before Baby

[krissie328]

FernRight now, DH and I are considering paying outta pocket for OB care from a local OB until January, when they'll take our new insurance plan.

That sounds like it wouldn't be such a bad idea. They should be able to get you set on an payment plan pretty easily. My OB for both pregnancies did that and we just pay a monthly fee. It has been really great to be able to do that and have one less bill at the end. It does not factor in the birth or hospital stay, just the ob fees.

I am getting so excited to see baby in 3 more weeks. I hope they don't drag on to terribly. We will officially have the gender then so it will be fun to know.

 

[Fern81]

Ok so it's over. I got a heavy period at 7dpo. I'm guessing progesterone issues or idk, but we are now a one child family. Lost the embie. I cried my eyes out for hours in the early hours of the morning but then dh and I went to get our son from his crib to cuddle with us in bed, and forced ourselves to think of pros to having just one. Eg we'll have more money to spend on him, can take him on trips even overseas, spoil him rotten, send him to the best schools etc. If I don't try to look at the bright side I will be too horribly sad at losing my last embie and never having a sibling.
My son is clearly a miracle baby. And he is such a great lovie. I mean which other babies smile and laugh at you when they see you first thing in the morning after quietly sttn. He is always smiling. Just had a bad leap at 5 months for about 2 weeks and that was THAT. He'll never have a sibling but he can play with the neighbour's kids and hopefully not feel lonely.
I HAVE to focus on the positive otherwise I'll sink into depression. And now I'm GOING TO LOSE 20KG.

 

[RawrGirl]

So sorry, Fern! You are right to focus on the positive that you do have a child. My 19-year old was an only child. And my DH was an only child. (And if I don't get a BFP this cycle or next, my LO will be an only child). My husband keeps trying to reassure me -- from experience -- that being an only child isn't that bad a thing.

But I do feel for you. I am hoping for a sibling for LO so badly, and will be heartbroken if he's another only. But as you said, I will just love him all the more for it. He's very smiley too. He was completely unplanned -- we weren't going to try for kids until about now. So if I can't now due to age, I got really lucky (or God knew best, lol) that I have my unplanned LO.

Anyway...if we both end up with onlies, we can start parenting journals and hang out there and talk about how great it is to have the money and time to give our LO the best we can.

 

[krissie328]

Fern I am so sorry. I learned from experience that grief and the grieving that it requires. Like you said there really are so many pros to an only child. I do hope you find your peace with it.

 

[Fern81]

Thanks so much ladies for the kind words.
Rawr I hope you do get your baby! But I'll take you up on your offer if not. Xx

 

[mrs.green2015]

Fern - I'm so sorry hun but you're such a strong woman! I am my mothers miracle child and an only child and it was fine. It actually made my relationship between my mom and I super close. Of course there will be times when he's a child that G will say he wants a sibling and that he's bored but when he's older he'll understand just how much you mean to him and how much you went through to have him. Baby G is an amazing little man and so lucky to have you as his momma

IRYM- that's so crazy with kaiser! I've never heard such horror stories! You really need to get away from them. Out of curiosity did you go to the kaiser fertility clinic in Roseville? That's where we went and I loved the fertility doctor he was so encouraging and sweet. can't remember his name now though haha

I also ate terribly over the 3 day weekend so I'm right there with you ladies!

I'm sorry I can't remember anything else.

AFM- started working out again yesterday (vs. just walking and light workouts) and oh man am I tired and sore! Last time I tried to work out I really hurt my c-section incision site so I'm trying to take the ab workouts a little easy and so far so good but he rest of me is exhausted! Haha it's a 30 day challenge and my goal is to get it done in 40 days since I know I won't workout on sundays and possibly saturdays haha.

 

[ireadyermind]

Fern - Aw, Fern, I'm sorry! It's great that you're looking on the bright side, but I wish you didn't have to!


Mrs.Green - Nope, private fertility clinic. We tried Kaiser's and they wouldn't even let me talk to a fertility doctor. They just kept scheduling tests for me left and right, without taking my medical history into consideration. Any time I asked to speak to a doctor, I was told I couldn't until I had completed EVERY diagnostic test they offered!

So DH and I went to the Nor Cal Fertility clinic. It's also in Roseville, and we paid out of pocket. The very first thing they did was sit down and talk to us, look at my medical history, and then devise a plan. Unlike Kaiser's "One plan fits all", Nor Cal built my treatment plan around ME, rather than trying to make me work for them.

 

[mrs.green2015]

IRYM- omg you and Kaiser just don't mix lol it's like they see your name and give your terrible service. I'm sorry that happened to you. I did have to do the test but it took maybe a week? It would have taken longer because of those HSG needing to be early in your cycle or something but they asked if I wanted them to call when someone canceled and they called me back a couple hours later to come in a few days later.
Did you love nor cal? I've heard such good things about them and originally thought about going there for a consult first but kaiser paid for 50% of our infertility treatments so we stayed with kaiser.

 

[ireadyermind]

IRYM- omg you and Kaiser just don't mix lol it's like they see your name and give your terrible service. I'm sorry that happened to you. I did have to do the test but it took maybe a week? It would have taken longer because of those HSG needing to be early in your cycle or something but they asked if I wanted them to call when someone canceled and they called me back a couple hours later to come in a few days later.
Did you love nor cal? I've heard such good things about them and originally thought about going there for a consult first but kaiser paid for 50% of our infertility treatments so we stayed with kaiser.

Yeah, I donno what it is. Maybe it's because all my appts were with the infertility center in Sacramento. Roseville just might be a better group of people.

Plus, our Kaiser plan did not cover a single cent of infertility treatments, so to be given that kind of run around when we're paying for everything out of pocket was a huge no-no for me. We figured if we're paying for it ourselves, we're going to get good service!

I did really like Nor Cal. The personalized treatment was one thing, but the doctors there were generally very caring people with excellent bedside manner. There was only one man there I didn't care for, because he tended to rush the appointments along and didn't spend time answering questions or talking about concerns.

Even when I got pregnant on my own, Nor Cal was willing to see me and prescribe necessary medications when Kaiser wouldn't (not 'couldn't', flat out would not). If it wasn't for them, Kaiser would have immediately jumped on the "ectopic pregnancy" bandwagon and tried to get me to emergency for a scan when I had zero pain or bleeding, my hcg numbers were doubling nicely, and so on.

 

[krissie328]

IRYM- I cannot believe you area already 8.5 weeks!! This has sure flown by. Then again I am struggling to think I am two weeks away from the half way mark.

 

[ireadyermind]

IRYM- I cannot believe you area already 8.5 weeks!! This has sure flown by. Then again I am struggling to think I am two weeks away from the half way mark.

Man, I sure don't feel like it's flying by! My next appt is Monday and that feels like ages from now.

I can't believe you're halfway, either! It seems like you just got your BFP a few days ago!

 

[krissie328]

Yea, my first pregnancy was so long. I swear every day was painful. But this time it has been different. I don't know if I am really that much more busy or if it just doesn't seem to be on the front of my mind since I have DS and a house now to take all my time and thoughts away.

Then there is the part that thinks its the fear of adding a second that is making it go so fast.

 

[swimmyj1]

Fern - I'm so so sorry i was hoping you would have you 2nd BFP when i checked back. I'm proud of you for finding the silver lining though. Those are the things that I try and focus on too. My heart still thinks about a second baby (I haven’t been able to give up opks lol). But my head knows that it won’t happen. Plan a great trip together I think my silver lining is knowing I will be able to help my DD with her education costs more than my parents could.

IRYM – I can’t believe your already 8 weeks!!! Where has the time gone!?!?!?! Can’t wait to hear how Monday goes if I was you I probably would end up paying out of pocket for a drs office I wanted until the insurance changes. Or at least find and OB who would do what should be done with your cancer hx.

Krissie – I can’t believe your already in your 2nd tri! I’m glad its been going much better than your other pregnancy.

AFM – im on cd 17 and still no sign of ovulating. I hate how crazy irregular my cycles have been sense having lizzy!!! Some months I’m ovulating by like cd 15 and others not till cd 25 ughhhhhhh and my LP is still shorter than before. Also I think im gonna avoid the scale for a few months. I’m working out everyday but the scale isn’t moving! My cloths are getting smaller and clearly im slimming down but I want the scale to show it hahaha.

 

[mrs.green2015]

IRYM- I know I missed your bfp but you did already have one scan correct? When's your next one?

Krissie- I haven't had a pregnancy while having kids but I can imagine is flying by since kids kind of take up a lot of time and energy! Lol

Swim- good for you for putting the scale away. You can totally see the difference in your pictures so you're just getting stronger and gaining muscle. And sorry if this is a repeat but are you ntnp or what? I know you said you weren't ready to ttc with your DH yet but since you're tracking your cycle and talking about ovulation I got a bit confused.

AFM- today's eating hasn't been great but I've stuck with smaller portions so at least there's that... I did work out though! Tomorrow won't be much better as we're throwing a party here but I will try to be as good as I can.

 

[ireadyermind]

Swimmy - 9 weeks on Tuesday the 12th!

I know what you mean about wanting the scale to reflect your hard work. But paying attention to how your clothes fit is a great way to measure progress too! Just keep reminding yourself that muscle weighs more than fat, and you're definitely building muscle while you're working out!


Mrs Green - I did already have one scan and was measured at 6w2d. We saw the heartbeat (119bpm) and everything looked good! My next scan is today!



AFM -- Called the nurse's hotline on Friday because my MS had pretty much vanished, and I was worried it meant that something was wrong. I went from having all day long, severe MS to nothing at all in the span of about 8 hours. The nurse said not to fret, and that because I had seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks that I was already past a big hurdle, and that my odds of miscarrying went down to something like 2% at this point.

It was a relief to hear at the time. And my MS came back over the weekend, so I'm back to being sick allllll day. I haven't vomited, only get the heaves. But it's very very difficult for me to vomit, even when I have food poisoning. I have to tickle the back of my throat with a cotton swab before I'll actually empty my stomach. I'm not sure why that is, but it's kept me from throwing up every few hours the past few weeks.

I know it can't be classified as hyperemesis gravidarum if I'm not throwing up, but I feel like the only reason I'm not throwing up is because of my damned stubborn esophagus! It's good, in a way. I can keep food and fluids down, even if it's only crackers and toast some days.

I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm pleased to see I haven't gained any weight since August 15th. I'm going to make sure to wear lightweight clothing to my appt so they don't factor in the weight of my clothes when I step on the scale like they did last time!

Last time, they asked me what I weighed before I got my BFP. I told them. Then I stepped on the scale in their office and weighed like 5lbs more. The nurse says, "Well it looks like you're already gaining weight..." and I said, "No, I weigh myself first thing in the morning, in my underwear, on an empty stomach. YOU guys are weighing me at the end of the day, after lunch, in full dress WITH shoes on!" The nurse goes, "Oh. Okay."

Anyway.

Fingers crossed for me, gals. I'm still so nervous we'll receive bad news today. I really hate that I can't enjoy this pregnancy thanks to so many CPs and the MC and all the other trouble we've had. I can't shake the feeling that I'm doomed to failure!

 

[krissie328]

IRYM- Ftx for a good scan today!!! I'm still struggling with feelings of doubt if I will bring home this baby. It seems crazy at 18 weeks but it just feel so surreal after everything. And of course my doctor had to bring up the risk of still birth in diabetic mothers at my first prenatal appointment.

 

[MissDoc]

Fern, big big big hugs to you. I'm sorry for the grieving you must be doing, but also impressed by your grace in handling it. Your smiley little boy will be such a loved child. And will have a more full life in many ways because of it! I may be in your shoes in a couple of years, so I have sympathy in advance. We didn't think we could even have our one baby son, and are so thankful for him, but hoping we get another miracle in a couple years despite the low odds. If not, then he too will be a very well-loved only child. And that's okay.

Krissie, I felt that same doom and gloom all the way to about 34 weeks with my kiddo, and even then still worried a little about still birth. You just hear so many horror stories that it's easy to think you might be one of them. But all signs point to everything going very well for your growing little one so far! Fingers crossed it keeps going that way! (And goes quickly and smoothly!)

Swimmy, I forgot, when did your periods start coming back after Lizzy? I know I'm no where near that happening as Lucas is not yet 4 months and I'm BF'ing, but I'm curious when it generally returns for women. I also feel the urge to be tracking cycles as I've done it for so freaking long. But I don't even have a cycle to track. haha!

IRYM, wow! Past the 8 week mark! That's great. MC numbers drop significantly past the 7 week mark and past the 12 week mark. Great milestones to cross! And as weird as it sounds, yay for morning sickness being back! Lol.

 

[ireadyermind]

Well, just got home from my OB appt. We were able to hear the heartbeat again - OB only said it was good, wouldn't say how many bpm - but we're unable to measure the embryo. You could BARELY see it on the screen, but could clearly make out the yolk sac.

So now I'm nervous. I asked the OB why there was such poor visibility, and she said it's because I'm overweight and the machine is old. I thought that a vaginal probe would be less affected by my weight?

Anyway, now I'm worried. Does the presence of a healthy heartbeat mean everything is okay, or should I worry? What little the OB could see on screen measured at 7w4d but she couldn't find the fetal pole on her screen. Since I'm 9 weeks tomorrow, 7w4d is worrying.

Have any of you ladies had to deal with something like this before?

 

[krissie328]

IRYM- so my experience is this... My prepregnancy bmi was 35. I had these scans 6 days apart. In the first one you can barely make out baby. It was terrible. I couldn't even see the heartbeat on the screen. So fast forward a week to my doctors clinic with more advanced equipment and the scan was so much clearer and looked like a little baby. I think quality of the machine definatley makes a huge difference.

 

[ireadyermind]

Thank you for sharing that. A little more time could make a world of difference here, but you know I worry!

I'm going to be calling the specialty ultrasound dept tomorrow morning to ask if they can squeeze me in same-day for a scan on the good machines. But my insurance plan doesn't cover that dept's services, so it's yet another out of pocket expense. I really am not sure why I bother going back to this place! This is just one more thing for me to worry about!