Getting Fit Before Baby

[ireadyermind]

*update* started cramping a lot went to the ER, hcg dropped and no more heart beat .... this just sucks. i know i had a bad feeling about it but to be told for sure its over just kinda was horrid. Gonna eat ice cream and cry on my couch tonight then move on tomorrow. I just really hope i don't need a D&C that would just suck.

Aww, so sorry to hear that! Especially after hearing the heart beat... That's got to be so rough.

 

[swimmyj1]

I think i'm going to take cytotec if I don't start MC on my own by sunday. I don't want to drag this out.

But on a super happy note I got on the scale for the first time in a long time and I'm down to 200 lbs! last year this time i was almost 240!! I need to keep this up I would love to be down to 160. I can tell being over weight is taking its toll on my body

 

[ireadyermind]

Wow, good job! That's an amazing amount of weight lost. Way to go!


EDIT: Siiiigh. Another pregnancy announcement in my FB feed this morning. I hope I can join them all with a sticky bean in a few weeks.

 

[swimmyj1]

I ended up having to take some friends off my fb feed. I just couldn't handle the bump pictures or the bfp announcements at 6 weeks pregnant.

Soooo cytotec should be named the drug from hell. I have a very high pain tolerance and at one last night honestly believed I would die of pain. I was vomiting and passing clots the size of golf balls. Finally when the fetus passed it let up some but that was the longest 10 hours of my life. I thought I would be really sad seeing it but I was a little relieved it's over. And maybe im a few months I will also get a sticky bean.

Even though my DH was so traumatized over the side effects of the medication he said we are done trying and he's never getting me pregnant again. Hopefully he calms down some.

 

[ireadyermind]

Wow, that's ridiculous!

Did the OB/Physician who prescribed you that medication tell you that there'd be those kinds of side effects? Or did they just give it to you and send you on your way?

I know for me, I did not receive ANY information on what to expect while miscarrying, even though they knew that this was my first ever BFP and therefore my first ever MC.

I wish that the people I talked to would have been more forthcoming. A lot of them expect you to know everything on your own, get irritated or talk down to you when you ask questions, and then ALSO get irritated or talk down to you when you do your own research first. Sometimes I feel like it's a lose-lose situation.

Anyway -- I hope DH does calm down. You can make sure to tell him it was the fault of the medication and not what happens every single time someone MCs that early. Maybe it'll help?

 

[swimmyj1]

I think my scale was playing tricks on me because im back to 210
They didn't tell me anything about the medication, the only reason I knew kind of what to expect was because I looked it up in my nursing drug book.
DH is doing better, we are waiting to hear if there are still spots open in a fertility seminar on the 30th that I want to go to. It comes with a free initial visit to a fertility clinic so that's kind of nice.

Your chart is looking really nice by the way

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hey Girls. Sorry I haven't posted lately, been taking some time to clear my head....Went to The Walk to Emmaus this past weekend, which was AMAZING & just what I needed! Had been carrying alot of guilt & sadness on this Journey that I was able to lay down, so I'm in a good place for now....I've only got 4-5 pounds to go to get back to my pre-m/c weight, but honestly I've not been motivated for the last week.....I've been attempting to count calories but not been depriving myself of all the good stuff lol

Swimmy-I hope your feeling better. Don't worry about the scale right now. Pamper yourself! My dh was the same way with our 1st loss, didn't want to put me or him through that again. Just remember he's hurting too. I didn't realize until much later that my dh was broken too!

IRYM-Glad to hear your weight is going in the right direction! Are you still doing the program? Sorry about the FB stuff, but I know your pain :/ I had a girl announce the day she got her bfp, which was like a week after ours....so needless to say she has been demoted since I don't want to see all her milestones....I really am considering deleteing my account on there, Too much drama & too time draining if I let it be!

Hello Fern, Drjo & anybody else i missed, how is everything going????

 

[ireadyermind]

IRYM-Glad to hear your weight is going in the right direction! Are you still doing the program? Sorry about the FB stuff, but I know your pain :/ I had a girl announce the day she got her bfp, which was like a week after ours....so needless to say she has been demoted since I don't want to see all her milestones....I really am considering deleteing my account on there, Too much drama & too time draining if I let it be!

Today's my weigh-in for this week.. and my weight jumped up FIVE POUNDS since last week. It's probably water weight, but I'm really upset about it!

I've been doing the same plan since the end of July and yet my weight has been going UP instead of down... If I cut any more calories from my diet I will be essentially starving myself. They say not to go below 1200/day and I think I'm at about 1000 on a low day and maybe 1500 on a high day, so it evens out by the end of the week.

I have an appt with my physician next month for a routine checkup, so if I can't get my weight down to at least the starting point I was at for this diet by then, I will ask for some kind of assistance losing weight. Maybe an appetite suppressant, since every time I work out or go walking or anything (even just going out for groceries or walking around the mall), I'm always starving afterward even if I stick exactly to my plan or eat a little extra. Lord knows I don't need the calories, with what I have sticking to my thighs and midsection!

This is part of the reason I haven't been working out much, 'cause when I do I'm like a bottomless pit for the rest of the day. I've been doing just little cardio sessions, 10-15 mins tops every time, but they're not doing anything for me.



As for the Facebook thing.. that same gal that announced her pregnancy at 8 weeks lost it the following week and put up a vague, mysterious FB post about it rather than just saying so. Though I would never wish MC on anyone, I had rather suspected it might happen and I was thinking to myself, "See! You should have waited!"

Then there was another announcement a few days after that one, though this couple waited until about 12 weeks to announce. I'm super happy for them! But it stings.



I think AF will show up tomorrow. My temperature dipped to 98.28 from 98.50, which is a pretty steep drop. My LPs are 15 days so that means I should expect AF tomorrow.

I still have a tiny shred of hope, though. My last BFP I didn't get a temp spike until a couple days after AF was due. Maybe it'll work the same this time around? Who knows. >.>

 

[Fern81]

Hi ladies

Swimmy - I was horrified to read about your ordeal. I can't believe in this day and age any woman has to suffer through something like that without painkillers, medical assistance or even BEING WARNED beforehand!? My gosh hun I really hope you are feeling a bit better emotionally. I can just imagine how traumatic it must have been for you both and you are super strong for wanting to try again. SO MANY HUGS!!

IRYM - hun I really hope the dr will know of something helpful for your weight loss issues! OMW. And I hope AF doesn't show...!

Cupcake - So happy to hear that you are moving along in the painful healing process... so hard to KNOW that nothing in this world is perfect and we can't just expect everything to work out.... But the true miracle is that we can still have a relationship with God & cope with this broken life with His help.

AFM - not trying this month; however I have a follicle tracking appointment tomorrow that had been arranged some time ago and it's free of charge so I will go and discuss BCP, maybe get a prescription; & also find out a bit more about possibly doing IVF next year. Dietwise I'm doing well I suppose by not overeating, I haven't really lost weight but I still have no appetite so not eating much. Drinking too much black coffee the past week or so because I'm constantly tired as well (working my butt off, not having time to exercise, not sleeping, not eating enough healthy foods all contribute to no energy!). And the coffee is suppressing my appetite even more... not good for ttc but yeah giving up coffee for a year didn't help either.

I got my first little rescue kitten and it's been so great to help her settle in & work on taming her (her mom was feral and this little one had a traumatic start to life). DH keeps saying she is our child . We are getting another one mid November (this other kitten is also a rescue kitten but still super super small so is under foster care until old enough to be re-homed). It's been such good therapy to care for a baby even if it is not a human baby... A small bit of my mothering instinct is being fulfilled.

 

[ireadyermind]

Hi ladies

Swimmy - I was horrified to read about your ordeal. I can't believe in this day and age any woman has to suffer through something like that without painkillers, medical assistance or even BEING WARNED beforehand!? My gosh hun I really hope you are feeling a bit better emotionally. I can just imagine how traumatic it must have been for you both and you are super strong for wanting to try again. SO MANY HUGS!!

IRYM - hun I really hope the dr will know of something helpful for your weight loss issues! OMW. And I hope AF doesn't show...!

Cupcake - So happy to hear that you are moving along in the painful healing process... so hard to KNOW that nothing in this world is perfect and we can't just expect everything to work out.... But the true miracle is that we can still have a relationship with God & cope with this broken life with His help.

AFM - not trying this month; however I have a follicle tracking appointment tomorrow that had been arranged some time ago and it's free of charge so I will go and discuss BCP, maybe get a prescription; & also find out a bit more about possibly doing IVF next year. Dietwise I'm doing well I suppose by not overeating, I haven't really lost weight but I still have no appetite so not eating much. Drinking too much black coffee the past week or so because I'm constantly tired as well (working my butt off, not having time to exercise, not sleeping, not eating enough healthy foods all contribute to no energy!). And the coffee is suppressing my appetite even more... not good for ttc but yeah giving up coffee for a year didn't help either.

I got my first little rescue kitten and it's been so great to help her settle in & work on taming her (her mom was feral and this little one had a traumatic start to life). DH keeps saying she is our child . We are getting another one mid November (this other kitten is also a rescue kitten but still super super small so is under foster care until old enough to be re-homed). It's been such good therapy to care for a baby even if it is not a human baby... A small bit of my mothering instinct is being fulfilled.

Aww, that's so sweet with the kittens! I would LOVE to foster some animals, but DH and I have so many right now because I just can't turn away an animal in need... lol. We purposefully took on two dogs and a cat, but the other three cats and the parrot were all starving strays or cases of neglect that needed rehoming. So we've both agreed NO MORE ANIMALS until the older ones pass away. Beans is 16 this year, and there's no telling how long she'll stick around. She's a feisty little thing and I swear she'll live to be 100 just out of pure stubbornness! Haha

Good job taking care of those little ones. People can be so cruel to animals and they need all the help they can get.

 

[swimmyj1]

I swear pets are the best. I would not be getting through all of this without my dogs. Today I met up with my obgyn. She was all tearful and saying how sorry she was but she can't help anymore and wants me to see a specialist. Of course I had already made an appointment with them for the 30th lol. I'm hoping we don't need IVF or something sense we have gotten pregnant twice on clomid. and i hope they do genetic testing.

PS i need to stay away from the pug rescue site or i'm going to end up a crazy pug lady.

 

[Fern81]

I saw the reproductive specialist again today for more ultrasounds etc. The verdict is:
* My previous totally crap idiot doctor's procedure to remove my stage 3 endometriosis was ineffective. I have to go back on the Pill immediately to stop endo from causing more harm.
* All diagnostic signs point to me having damaged egg cells (everything is OK except for the fact that I have stage 3 endo & previous chocolate cysts; meaning that the endo probably damaged my ovaries, follicles & egg cell reserves)
* I have to start using a specific bcp to suppress the endometriosis from proliferating if I want any chance of success with IVF
* Clomid is totally useless for me and dr advised me not to take it atm. I actually DO ovulate on my own and have a huge follie growing as we speak (again, my previous F*ING dr's diagnosis of anovulation was incorrect)... however there is no guarantee that the awesome follie actually contains an egg cell/what the quality of the egg cell is.
* I need ANOTHER laparoscopy to remove all endo before IVF can be considered to have a chance of success..... my medical insurance will not pay for it so I have to make a plan to change insurance or save up.

This is all so overwhelming.

If we do manage to save up for IVF we will only be doing it once.

For this cycle: Dr prescibed a pregnyl injection to be done on Sunday just to make 100% sure I ovulate since this will be our last cycle trying semi-naturally.

In other words I have 1 cycle with a trigger, then 1 IVF cycle ahead (IF we manage to obtain the funds!) ... so just more 2 tries to get pregnant, ever.

So much to take in.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Wow fern. I can understand you feeling overwhelmed. That's a lot to take in! I am glad you may be getting some answers & a plan in place tho! Let's just hope your big follow is the "one!"

 

[ireadyermind]

Wow!

Fern, it sounds like you had a completely incompetent doctor for a long time! That is really horrible... How do those sorts get to keep their jobs? You know that if someone in a less important position fumbled THAT much, (s)he'd lose their job! How crazy!

Well, it sounds like now that you have someone with two brain cells to rub together working on your side, you have a much better chance. We're all rooting for you!


AFM -- Temp went back UP this morning? I expected it to drop to the cover line today and AF to arrive tonight. I'm a little confused. I took a HPT and I thought I saw something on there, but most likely that was wishful thinking. As I write this I have mild cramps, but not the AF sort. I suppose I'll just be waiting around to see what happens.

 

[swimmyj1]

Yeah seriously Fern that sounds like a mess i don't blame you for being upset.

ireadyermind- sorry to see AF showed up. not fair!

AFM - this month i decided not to temp of do opk's (I say that now but we will see lol). I'm really nervous about seeing the specialist on the the 30th. i'm not sure why sense its just a big meet and and great. no tests or anything this time. Hopefully we can schedule another visit for testing really soon after. I got into a big fight with my mother while she was out here. She's just so negative about me having kids i don't understand it at all.

Started a new work out program with my DH every day my step tracker does not say i met my goal I have to put 20$ into our savings account. This could get expensive quickly hahaha, but so far with my workouts and hikes before work I've been meeting them. Fingers crossed I really really want to get down to like 160 but soooo far to go.

 

[Fern81]

Hi ladies

Swimmy - sorry if you have mentioned this before but are you trying at all this cycle? I know you said you wouldn't do OPKs but are you preventing or is there maybe still a chance of a bfp this cycle? GL hun! Love it that your hubs is doing the new program with you. It is just so much more motivational than if we are working out and dieting and they are just lounging in front of the TV lol.

AFM - diet is going strong; however since the day after the trigger (which was Sunday) I'm suddenly about 4+ pounds heavier!! And my tummy is soooooooo bloated it's insane! I will probably have to take the trigger shot again if we do IVF next year; for now I'm not liking the side effects. I'm EXTREMELY fatigued. It's really weird. I literally struggle to teach and the past 2 days while explaining the work to my learners I can't concentrate and forget what I was saying. I keep wanting to fall asleep and am STRUGGLING to keep my eyes open! NOT like me at all lol!! I get tired during the tww but NOTHING like this. It feels like my symptoms when I was first diagnosed with extreme hypothyroidism. Hopefully I will feel like myself again soon. I know I won't trigger ever again just for a natural cycle however since I always O on my own (dr just wanted to make 100% certain of ovulation this cycle since it will be our last try without IVF).

I don't believe for one second that this cycle will work as I have been ovulating on my own every single cycle so far and no BFP, all that will be different this cycle will be that ovulation was forced by the trigger so it will make no difference to the outcome as far as I'm concerned.

Toying with the idea of POAS tomorrow though just to see a second line at least once in my life haha.

I've gotten used to the idea of being forced to take bcp for 6 months. I'm sure it will be a relief not to ttc for a while and have NO chance of a bfp so no stress or tww'ing. That's after all what I thought of doing in any case; just hated the idea of having no choice in the matter. But oh well there is nothing I can do about it so I just have to accept it. I remind myself that I have always been able to lose lots of weight while on the Pill so there's that.

and to everyone else! Watch this space. I'm going to be scarily thin before the end of the year .

 

[cupcakestoy]

Love your dedication Fern!!!!

I'm back at weight watchers.....*sigh* I feel like it worked before so I might as well hit it again....Made it back to the gym once this week...GRRR I'm on call for work & have been pulling crazy hours! I do think I've dropped a couple of pounds so far this week tho! I do believe AF is approaching! 1st since M/C but I'm glad to get my cycle back to normal...Hate it being late, knowing its just a fluke thing, ready to at least have a slim shot at TTC again Toying with the idea of Opks, but not wanting to get hung up on ttc again? I would have loved to have gotten a bfp instead of af, but I'm not 100% sure I O'd this time, if I did I think it was around cd 16-17, when I was away for the weekend with out dh.....Oh well, what's another cycle after all this time? Our time is coming, one way or another Now just to drop some weight!!!!

 

[ireadyermind]

Cupcake:

I hope WW goes well for you! I know people who have had success with it in the past. I know the whole group aspect helps a lot of people, you know -- accountability to the other people on the program with you?

Haha -- maybe that's why I'm not doing so well. I know DH would love me even if I weighed 1,000 pounds, so I don't have any real accountability like I should.

Anyway, keep us posted! I'm excited for you!




As for the OPK debate:

I feel like OPKs are almost a necessity for me personally. I just know that using them helps me determine when DH and I should BD (let's face it, I can't physically manage to BD every other day for 50 days!), AND it helps me know when to expect AF, since roughly 15 days after +OPK, the witch shows up.

My cycles range from 35 - 50+ days and I never know what's going on, 'cause in all that time, Fertility Friend will put dotted crosshairs on my chart at random and move them around every other day. Haha

But if it wasn't for the Wondfos internet cheapies, I'd go broke using OPKs. I have to start on CD 15 or thereabouts, and use them twice a day, and sometimes I don't O until CD 30 or later... that's 30 OPKs in a single cycle! >.>

They don't really cause me stress about TTC. I look at them as just another tool to help me understand what my body is doing THIS time, rather than as tools for conception. Even if I wasn't TTC, I'd still want to know when to expect AF so I could be prepared, you know?

Just my two cents!

 

[cupcakestoy]

The Witch has arrived! Ugh....Be careful what you ask for! She's not being nice at all! DH was sad she showed, I guess he thought we'd get lucky right away? It will be 3 years next month since this nightmare of TTC started! Praying we don't have much longer to wait!

 

[swimmyj1]

cupcakestoy - booooo to the witch. I know mine should be here in about 2 weeks even with my last MC she was right on time (evil!!!) hope WW works for you. I was never very good at group weight loss.

I'm just gonna say i hate dieting and eating right it sucks lol. I want to sit on my couch, knit, watch tv and eat a ton of ice cream (and drink wine). But instead im eating a rice cake and going for a hike hahaha. I don't even want to get on a scale because unless it says i lost 20lbs i won't be happy (totally unrealistic)


Pretty sure I will be ovulating in the next few days, and DH is out of town for the week so no chance this time. Meeting with the FS was good. Found out insurance covers 50% (IVF not included) which is really nice. Plan to see on the 22nd. Get a SA, repeat labs. the next cycle i think we will try clomid and higher dose of progesterone. if that doesn't work moving onto IUI with a sperm wash. FINGERS CROSSED!!! they said about 70% of people seen get pregnant within a year resulting in a successful pregnancy.