I felt this same way with #1. Two years actively trying, countless fertility tests and every month AF without fail. I really hated when people told me "god will bless you when time is right" I felt like it was right, why didn't god??
I will say when it did happen it WAS the perfect time. We lived in a different country and OH deployed a month later. People thought shitty timing but it wasn't. It got me through being alone in another country. Something to focus on and pass time. The two years we tried we had just gotten married, I was in school from 7-3 and worked from 4-9. We fought a lot in those days. We were both immature. While we could've been great parents then I see now why maybe when it happened it was for the best. When it happens for you I promise it will all make sense. It's heart breaking now but try and relax and think that it's all in your life's plan.
With our second it happened two months after OH returned from deployment and we were simply ntnp. This time it was a month I stopped the pill. It showed me even more that it wasn't something I was doing wrong but it wasn't in the plans to have a baby the first two years we tried.
Keep the faith love