Going out when pregnant...

[Tsia]

Hi all..
an unsure post here..

Before I got pregnant I wasnt a real hermit but I wasnt out every weekend either.
Maybe once a month with the girlies etc..
the OH and I usually go for meals or sit in blah blah..

Now since becoming pregnant I have been out a few times with the girls.. stuck to the coke or J20.. they all understand.

However.. I have noticed that since I have started showing .. well.. I feel when your showing.. people stare at you.
And I can tell their thinking "what you doing out etc" even tho they can clearly see juice in my glass!

But also.. I am starting to feel strange too.. the places have loud music and the baby must wonder what the hell is going on as the beat from the dancefloor vibrates through my body! AND I am feeling a little embarrassed to dance.. like there is a thought in the back of my mind thats telling me its a little inappropriate to start girating the hips like I used to do.
lol

Its not that I am not drinking as there has been many times before we have all gone out and I have been designated driver etc.. but can have a laugh without getting a drink.

But lately I end up with tremendous feeling of guilt.. and go sit in the corner watching my friends from afar.. and having a crap night cos I cant feel happy or comfortable joining in.

Last night for example, I was so low.. that I ended up ordering a shot of vodka to accompany my last bottle of J20 as I thought it may cheer me up a bit. Cant say it really did anything.. but then I felt guilty I had drank the vodka!

Cant win!

DO you lot go out and have these thoughts?

 

[sam's mum]

I went out a few times when I was pregnant with Sam (no chance now!) - I was working up in London so if people were meeting up for drinks after work I'd go along and have a lemonade or two before I got my train home ...you have no reason to feel guilty at all - enjoy yourself while you still have the time and don't have a baby at home to get stressed about, knowing that you have no chance of a lie in the next day

The looks from other people did make me feel guilty though - I almost felt like I had to explain to them that I wasn't out partying until 3am every night, and that I'd be safely home by 11 and wasn't drinking - not that an occasional vodka would do bubs any harm at all

Go and have a dance and enjoy it! I'm sure baby will be loving the music too! x

 

[Seraphim]

I was at a gig on Friday night, hubby is a musician, and we're on the run up to the summer festival he hosts... so I'm there for the warmup gigs in support (hubby wasn't actually playing), and I really did have a panic to myself about the sheer noise of the venue! So I'm a little relieved to know it's not just me

 

[PrincessSoph]

i been out a few times and get so pissed off by the looks i get. my baby seems to love the loud music tho! she dont stop moving all night.

 

[PrettyBonk]

I used to go out with the girls too I started getting uncomfortable by the looks lol so we go out to "dinner" in very trendy places...like to a lounge with a restaurant and a bar separated...ppl dont stare at me anymore!!!! and I don't feel uncomfortable!!!!

 

[HeidiLSparks]

I went out a few times but stopped. I was getting HORRID looks for NO reason haha. Now I go shopping or go to lunch or dinner with my friends. I do things during the day. I used to go out alot but now I am sooo tired haha

 

[lexy604]

Hell i get looks when im just in the mall lol im 27 and i look like im 21 so i think people assume im a young mom or something like why am i not home studying instead of having a smoothie at the mall with my unborn baby haha. I wanna put a shirt on that says im 27 stop staring its like people totally judge. They will all be jealous when im 40 and look 30 haha.

 

[lindypops]

I went out with my DH and our friends a few weeks ago, to a late bar, and I felt so out of place - old, out of touch, wearing frumpy clothes and boring. I don't really fancy doing that again.

Yesterday went to the cinema and had a glass of wine before the film started. I haven't had a drink for a month, but felt really guilty cos there was another pg woman drinking a J20 sitting next to us.

I want to make the most of being sociable but find it hard to feel part of things - am sticking to hanging out with friends in our houses for now, I think.

 

[misswren]

I didn't go out so much in my first tri as I was just tooo exhausted but this month have been out a few times, couple of gigs, couple of nights in the pub I frequented before I was pregnant, couple of fun dancing times in clubs. I think your body will tell you if you need to take it any easier and that your friends are there for you, everyone else can go whistle.

They could be staring just becuase it is a bump, not in a judgemental way, it could be a wow, look at that hot mama! Greet glances with a smile and shake ya booty

 

[MishC]

I went out about 6 weeks back and nearly fainted so i put a stop to it. It was way to busy, to hot and there was no were to sit down. I now go out to the cinema or for meals with friends which is equially as good. I'll also go to house parties but i won't go to Clubs/Pubs anymore.

 

[10thSept]

I haven't had anyone give me bad looks - I've had a couple of looks at my bump on the tube and bus, but haven't felt any judgmental looks when I'm out for dinner or anything (although they no longer offer me wine in restaurants!!) -if I do start getting looks, I really couldn't give a stuff! I'm looking after my baby so that's all that matters. If anyone else has a problem with me being out and enjoying my life before it COMPLETELY changes then they can take a running jump!
I also couldn't go out much in the 1st tri and still don't feel like it all the time, but I'm not going to stop meeting my friends in bars or going to trendy restaurants, that'll come to a soon enough end in another 4.5 months!!!

And on the loud music issue, I don't think it's a problem for the baby, the noise it hears is very muffled in there, so I wouldn't have thought a short exposure to loud music would be a problem - when I play loud music at home or in the car, the baby kicks, so I think it's dancing!!

don't worry about other people, if you know you're looking after your baby, that's the only thing that's important!

 

[Armywife]

My worry isn't the music or the looks its people bumping into me. When my best friend was 25 weeks pg with her daughter we went out to celebrate a friends birthday - just to a pub, not overly busy and she was drinking juice but on her way back from the loo some big bloke fell into her, knocked her into a table and then she fell on the floor. She banged her tummy so hard on the corner of the table she had a bruise the size of her husbands palm and spent 2 days being monitored in hospital. That experience scared the life out of me and for that reason i am too afraid to go out. It wasn't a club, just a nice pub and was really early on (about half 8 ) so it just proved to me that all situations where alcohol is involved hold too much risk for my precious baby. I will still go out to dinner and to certain family parties though.

However, if you feel safe going out then go for it! Have fun and sod anyone who is giving funny looks! None of their naffing business! x x x

 

[golcarlilly]

I don't really do clubs anymore anyway, instead I usually go for a meal and then on to a couple of bars, since I got pg I am too tired to do stay up past around 10 though so I just skip the bars and head for my bed LOL Also, (and this might sound sad), I don't see the point of going to pubs/bars and drinking pop or juice, I like my alcohol so I would rather not bother!!

 

[golcarlilly]

My worry isn't the music or the looks its people bumping into me. When my best friend was 25 weeks pg with her daughter we went out to celebrate a friends birthday - just to a pub, not overly busy and she was drinking juice but on her way back from the loo some big bloke fell into her, knocked her into a table and then she fell on the floor. She banged her tummy so hard on the corner of the table she had a bruise the size of her husbands palm and spent 2 days being monitored in hospital. That experience scared the life out of me and for that reason i am too afraid to go out. It wasn't a club, just a nice pub and was really early on (about half 8 ) so it just proved to me that all situations where alcohol is involved hold too much risk for my precious baby. I will still go out to dinner and to certain family parties though.

However, if you feel safe going out then go for it! Have fun and sod anyone who is giving funny looks! None of their naffing business! x x x

That is scary!!!

 

[10thSept]

That is a terrifying story, gosh, so glad she's ok.

 

[dellamaria]

Hell i get looks when im just in the mall lol im 27 and i look like im 21 so i think people assume im a young mom or something like why am i not home studying instead of having a smoothie at the mall with my unborn baby haha. I wanna put a shirt on that says im 27 stop staring its like people totally judge. They will all be jealous when im 40 and look 30 haha.

I got that with my first.. it was even more amusing because I had my sisters kid a lot while I was pregnant and the looks I used to get... like I was a teenage mother with a kid and another one on the way. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when I get bigger with this one and I'm carting around my daughter as well as my niece hehe

 

[Melzy8608]

I generally went out clubbing fairly often, which only stopped in the first trimester due to me being so exhausted to even last a night out. But once i felt up to it, I decided on going back out... However, from that one night i've decided to knock going out clubbing on the head while i'm pregnant. A fight broke out near to where we were and instantly put on me on edge for the rest of the night wondering 'What if i get pushed over, hit or bumped into really hard' i wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to the baby and couldn't enjoy myself anymore. Normally, i wouldn't give a monkeys, but it's amazing how protective you start becoming already lol.

So, i've stuck with pubs and bars where things don't get as rowdy and have a far more better time as i'm more relaxed and enjoy it more!

But it's whatever you feel comfortable with doing!!

 

[jo_79]

I havent been out with this pregnancy but with my 1st i went out alot - mainly cos my ex oh was posted away in the army. I drank juice or water and sat down most of the night out the way, baby moved around alot when there was loud music and after she was born it seemed that music always soothed her to sleep. When anyone glared at me with filthy looks i just used to say "what?" Saying that there was a girl i knew at that time completely the opposite to me she was 6 weeks ahead of me, pissed right up and drugged up to the eyeballs, shagging anyone who fancied a go - disgraceful.

 

[ClaireLouise]

What a good thread! I was out on Sat night, and although im not really showing yet, i have a definate roundness which obviously looks as if i have been munching on the pies. And dont barstaff make you feel stupid for ordering a none alcoholic drink?!! It took me 3 requests to ask for blackcurrant and soda, he kept putting vodka in it!!

I dont miss being drunk, i miss that slight typsy feeling. You know when you have had a couple of beers and feel brave enough to have a boogie. Im just feeling a little self conscious and iv got another night out on Friday! Maybe il try some alco-free lager and see if it has the placebo effect haha!

 

[PrettyBonk]

Hell i get looks when im just in the mall lol im 27 and i look like im 21 so i think people assume im a young mom or something like why am i not home studying instead of having a smoothie at the mall with my unborn baby haha. I wanna put a shirt on that says im 27 stop staring its like people totally judge. They will all be jealous when im 40 and look 30 haha.

lol I know what you go through...I'm 29 and I still got looks while I walked with my 11 and 5 year old lmao..but ever since I cut my hair I dont get the looks...I look older...cant wait for my hair to grow back.