Grooming...

[glaciergirl]

Hi Bebica

Just wondered if you had considered looking at these 'nasty' women through a more 'humane' eye. It sounds like these are the kind of women who are obviously not in the same social bracket as you and perhaps they are struggling to make ends meet and therefore 'looking groomed' is not their first priority. In addition perhaps they have really low self-esteem due to their situation in life - maybe they are experiencing domestic violence or abuse at home or perhaps they are young mothers with no family or financial support? We have mums like this in the UK, and I am sure they all have their own stories of why they have ended up the way they have. Perhaps you should take one of them out to coffee and just listen to their side of the story. You might be pleasantly surprised by their inner strength and beauty which clearly is blind to your own eyes.

GG

 

[glaciergirl]

I'm not a Christian and don't follow the bible - but what you say is right (see my comment). Its about being human and charitable towards others.

 

[mafiamom]

I just wonder how she came to the conclusion that it is because they are pregnant that they let themselves go. If their house,husband,kids and clothes are "nasty" maybe they are like that all the time and thats how they choose to live,it seems a bit silly to suddenly start living like that if they didnt previously!

I agree. When i go to school to dop my 11 yr old off you have to see some of these women high heels tight jeans make up hair, where the hell are you going to drop your kids off at school me ,I am in running shoes, hair all over the place and one eye open from being exhausted, I could care less what others think, i don't need to impress the school. My son is clean I am clean my house has always been immaculate. I just don't get this thread is all.

see,but this is wrong..because in my country that is how you drop of your child...and when you go running to the park,you have running shoes on...so maybe those ladies have different standards than americans...I was always dying from laughing to see women going home from wrk in nice wrk attire and running shoes...I'd never ever not even in my dreams do this back home...but here it's normal.Looks terrible,but noone gives a s.......

please dont group all americans up like this. i have seen many a mom in a frenzied state drop off a child in sweats and a pony tail with no makeup on, and it isnt b/c she is nasty or dirty, it is b/c she is BUSY! this woman will probably go home and play on the floor with her toddler, clean her house, walk her dog, and then run back to the school to pick up her child.....still in her ponytail! she would look pretty darn funny doing all this in a dress and heels

grooming is wonderful and i think every woman needs to do what they deem important to feel good about themselves. if your MAIN priority is looking good every minute of the day - well it makes me wonder if there is anything of depth under the nice clothes and perfect makeup....sometimes vanity is used to cover up all kinds of other insecurities....

 

[BabyBoo36]

I have not changed my "grooming" pattern at all since being pregnant. I barely wear make up any way (only a little mascara and eye concealer because I look like Dawn of The Dead without it - pregnant or not!) and certainly don't bother with it if I'm not leaving the house. My hair is often clipped up or in a ponytail because it's fine and gets in my way, but I don't suit it short. Today I'm in Ugg boots, my combats and a maternity top, and was told I look lovely. I haven't done the dishes from this morning as I've been out with a friend and I'm not sure my hubby remembered to make the bed properly when he went to work. Does any of this mean I've "let myself go" because I'm pregnant?? No, I'm just being me!

My brother's ex GF was one of these "high maintainance, must be immaculate at all times" women, and I admit, every now and then I used to think "Should I make an effort to look like that?", but seriously? I couldn't be arsed! I am me, I am clean, and DH loves me as I am!

 

[Bebica]

Hi Bebica

Just wondered if you had considered looking at these 'nasty' women through a more 'humane' eye. It sounds like these are the kind of women who are obviously not in the same social bracket as you and perhaps they are struggling to make ends meet and therefore 'looking groomed' is not their first priority. In addition perhaps they have really low self-esteem due to their situation in life - maybe they are experiencing domestic violence or abuse at home or perhaps they are young mothers with no family or financial support? We have mums like this in the UK, and I am sure they all have their own stories of why they have ended up the way they have. Perhaps you should take one of them out to coffee and just listen to their side of the story. You might be pleasantly surprised by their inner strength and beauty which clearly is blind to your own eyes.

GG

I do not want to answer these any longer but everything you just mentioned-I WAS AND I EXPREIENCED!!!! with my two kids...and still had time to look decent! And my life is also for the coffee time,to be shared...so women can learn how to be strong through it all.Do not judge people just because you think they are prefect w/o problems just because they are commenting others...maybe they are or were worse but still had pride in themselves...As I did at my darkest years...

 

[Hunkdorey]

I am not getting at you for being groomed or not - to each their own and good for you that you still feel good about yourself. I do feel, however, that you are not really listening to others. People have asked you if perhaps it could be that these women do not have the money/time to spend on themselves as what little they have, they spend on their children. Also, if someone is suffering from depression, quite often they have a want to do nothing! and so they let themselves and their house go, as you describe it. It is not their fault, it is an illness. And after hearing how you describe some of these people, it is no wonder it is an illness that comes with unnecessary stigma.

I just think you should try and see beyond the cosmetic side of things and see the person. Yes, you are groomed and you still have time to go for coffe and share time with others, this does not mean that everyone else can afford the same precious time. Just because someone doesnt look like they dont spend time on themselves, does not mean you cannot spend time with them x

Also, you still haven't said what Eurpean country you came from. I'm just curious x

 

[mumoffive]

Does it matter? Who cares!

 

[ellie27]

I am very surprised to be reading a thread of this nature in the 'over 35' group - some comments here are so shallow and sad - something I might have thought would have been more likely to come up in the 'teens' section.

 

[mumoffive]

I am very surprised to be reading a thread of this nature in the 'over 35' group - some comments here are so shallow and sad - something I might have thought would have been more likely to come up in the 'teens' section.

Yes, i agree..and at the end of the day, what does it matter?

 

[Fallen Angel]

I just can't believe I've been away a week and this stupid thread is still at the top of the board.

I think we should all let it disappear into the little black hole it deserves.

 

[nessie01]

interesting thread!!! everyone is an individual and everyone has their own way off presenting themselves wether pregnant or not. I get up shower, do my hair and put a little makeup on. I then run around with a toddler all day ending up with messy hair, sticky fingers and food marks on my clothes and the house being a total shambles lol!!
i dont care what people look like or dress like as long as they are happy in life!

 

[Dinnerlady74]

Love your ticker,thank god my constipation has stopped! lol