Gutted with MIL's reaction

[CoralInGold]

We decided to tell MIL today, we wanted to tell her on Mother's Day, but she's going on Holiday on Tuesday. We made a little visit to Next & bought the cutest sleep suit with 'I'm new to the world' on, & put it in a little bag for her to open. We were both so excited to tell her.

She opened it, hugged us but then said "Well I suppose there's worse things that can happen".

What!?

I let it go thinking she'd said it out of nerves or shock maybe, but then, she said it again.

She was focusing on the negatives of it all, because we are in the process of buying a house & OH has a lot on at work at the moment, she kept saying "You've just got so much on".

I know I'm a ball of emotions at the moment but I can't help but feel like she isn't happy & it was just awful.

Yes it has come at a difficult time but who is ever totally ready for children? There's always something. Little does she know we tried for nearly 12 months & we feel so lucky & blessed it's finally happened.

 

[CertainTurton]

I'm so sorry you had a disappointing reaction. I really think people should just stick with congratulations with announcements because no one knows what has gone on with ttc before.
I agree there is rarely the 'perfect time' and it was very rude of her. I am sure that she will come around and get excited too

 

[CoralInGold]

Thank you xx

 

[xCherylx]

My MIL walked out of the room when we told her! She is the nicest woman in the world too haha it was just too much for her. as my OH moved from Sweden to be with me and I think it was the final thing for her to know he wasn't coming back to her.
Give her a little while I'm sure she will be fine and soon she will be spoiling them rotten

 

[Eleanor ace]

Aw I'm sorry, I'd be upset too . Hopefully she'll come round very soon, I think when people aren't expecting the news their reaction can be a surprise, even to themselves.

 

[jlw617]

My own mother replied this way when we told her about our 2nd baby, she said I can't afford to buy all kinds of things for this baby! Lol! We never asked her to buy anything but my mom shows affection through material things/gifts so of course she's going to relate it to that! and she was mad that I didn't tell her first, I know it stings but just give it time and she'll come around just like Cheryl said. I was totally shocked and scared to tell my mom this time-I just prefaced it with " mom I'm 32, I'm a full grown adult with a family of my own now and you can either choose to support me or be upset but what's done is done..." That's before we lost the bean and now she has been ultra supportive through everything, it's so awesome

 

[CoralInGold]

Thanks jlw, so sorry to hear of your loss

 

[MissR]

Sorry to hear she reacted this way Coral, it's so upsetting when you are expecting them to be supportive. I was young when I became pregnant with DD and my OH was to scared to tell his mum himself, so I did it in the end to get things out in the open. She was shocked and basically just said 'well what are you going to do about it'. There was only ever one option for me but those words still hurt. It was only a matter of hours before she came to me and apologised and said congratulations. I think it can be a shock and words come out without thinking. Hope she supports you both from now on xx

 

[fitmommy83]

Oh honey, I'm sorry she reacted that way. I agree that it is very rude of her. She should have kept her mouth shut if she couldn't say anything nice. Ignore her for now and focus on you for the time being. Let her come around when she wants. Sending you lots of

 

[tigerlilly]

congrats sweetie. Some mil's don't think before they speak, i have one. It hurts when they do this, it's heart breaking and bewildering.

I can't give u an answer to why she said what she said it was thoughtless and insensitive. You've told her ur having a baby and the balls in her court so let her get on with it and focus on ur amazing, beautiful new blessing!

it took us 2 yrs to get ds so i know ur pain and excitement. Congratulations again. Surround urself with those who feel the same as you. You never know she may suprise you x

 

[TTC 84]

Oh I'm sorry you got that reaction Hun , try not to let it get you down, your having a baby and it's an exciting time for you on another note I know I'll get some similar reactions throughout our family . Xx

 

[ClaireJ23]

At least she's not being fake with you and you know where you stand. I would ignore it, her problem not yours. It was rude.

My parents upset my OH as they didn't react in a gushingly overexcited way when we announced our pregnancy. Actually, each time we've announced they seem to just be completely shocked and hardly react at all. This time they just said 'so, October then'. Like, what! I had to actually say 'Mum, Dad don't you think it would be nice to say congratulations'. Don't know what they were thinking.

It upset him at first. However, they have been amazingly supportive and spend loads of time with our daughters and love them both to bits. Just goes to show that initial reactions don't really count every time. So you never know, she might turn it around for you.

 

[tallybee]

sorry she's reacted like that hun. I hope she comes round, but either way congratulations and enjoy the journey regardless xxx

 

[Embo78]

My mil was upset when we announced our rainbow's pregnancy. In fact I made my hubby tell her by himself cos I knew I'd bite if she didn't congratulate us! I know she was worried that we'd had three losses but a hug and a congratulations would've been nice!!
She didn't react well and I avoided her for most of my pregnancy but once he was born I've never seen a more doting grandma. She worships the ground he walks on and he adores his grandma.
She and I are amazingly close again too although that could change when we tell her about this one

 

[icklemonster]

I'm sorry hun you got this reaction. I think sometimes people react in the surprise of the moment. I'm sure she'll soon come round to it and she'll start to get excited.
My Nan's reaction to this pregnancy was 'well it had to be soon or you'd be too old' I'm 32 Just a generation thing I guess...

 

[ClaireJ23]

32! The average age for having your first child in the UK is 30.

 

[icklemonster]

32! The average age for having your first child in the UK is 30.

Yes I know! My Nan finds it difficult to accept times have changed. She's stuck in her ways in numerous ways. Lovely lovely lady but stubborn as an ox

 

[ClaireJ23]

32! The average age for having your first child in the UK is 30.

Yes I know! My Nan finds it difficult to accept times have changed. She's stuck in her ways in numerous ways. Lovely lovely lady but stubborn as an ox

Sounds like my MIL, refuses to get herself a mobile phone as doesn't see the point of them. Stubborn, and mad as a hatter.

 

[smileyfaces]

 

[Dill]

Some people...! I am terrified of telling my MIL and intend to put it off as long as is humanly possible.