Had 12 week scan today, guessing a boy based on nub theory

[Kaiecee]

This will be my last try or my next then that's it I'll accept what I have and be happy that whatever happens that they are healthy

 

[hello_kitty]

I went to genetic counseling not anything age related or down Syndrome but my dh and I both got low results on our blood count. We are at risk of carrying something called hemoglobin e trait which could affect our baby if we both have it. So far they found that I have it for sure so just waiting to see if my husband has the trait. If we both do then it will pass on to our unborn baby for sure (actually 1 in 4 chances).

 

[Kaiecee]

Sorry to hear that how does it affect you guys or the baby? I me we heard of that

 

[hello_kitty]

Well atm we know for sure that I have the hemoglobin e trait. Since it is just a trait, it doesnt affect my life. I can live my life like any other normal people. The problem is if my husband also has the trait (which we dont know at this point until further testing) this could result a baby with thalassemia which basically means a child who is severely anemic and will need life long blood transfusion and usually doesnt live past 30 years of age. The percentage for both parents who have this trait to have a thalassemic baby is 1 in 4. Thats pretty high if you ask me. My son only inherited the trait, which is good. That means he's just like me and wont be having any problems. So at this point there are only 2 scenarios. Either I'm the only one who carries the trait and my husband doesnt and I was the one who passed the trait down to my son or both of us have the trait and our son got lucky and wasnt affected.

We were supposed to go in for blood testing today to see if my husband has the trait or not. If we both have the trait, then the baby would need to be tested via amnio...but my husband couldnt get up in the morning so he said we would go in on Monday or Tuesday instead which means more waiting. I was super upset this morning and was crying because I just want answers.

God forbid but if my husband also has the trait and the baby turns out to have thalassemia, I dont think I will continue with this pregnancy. Not that I dont love my baby but I just dont want him/her to come to this world and end up suffering from a life long condition. He/she would need regular blood transfusion starting at 6 months of age and will have growth problems and wont live past 30...in my opinion I think it is worse than down syndrome... but we shall see. At the moment, I am just keeping my fingers crossed and praying, but thinking about the possibility of not being able to carry my child much longer breaks my heart.

If things dont end will, dh and I have decided that we wont have anymore children and our son will be an only child. If the baby is unaffected..we will still stop at 2 since we dont want to take a risk each time... but I am still hoping that my husband doesnt have the trait and our lives can go back to normal and we can continue havign children as planned.

 

[Kaiecee]

That's so heartbreaking I would have killed dh if he didn't get up and made me wait longer to find out I hope u don't worry about it too much try to take it easy I hope and I'll pray it's only you that has the trait

 

[motherofboys]

Best of luck. Do you think he is putting it off because he is scared of the answer?

 

[hello_kitty]

He stayed up late last night til 5 am to do research for our upcoming trip on wednesday so he couldnt get up after only 3 hours of sleep...and he said he wants to do the test on monday but not find out the result until we get back because if we get bad news during our trip it will ruin the whole thing...but I cant put my mind at rest without knowing so either way I'm gonna be worried unless the result comes back good.

 

[motherofboys]

Well that's all understandable, both not being able to get up and the reason he stayed up, as well as not wanting to ruin your trip if it's bad news. But I can also understand that you are going to be worrying the whole time anyway.
I only asked if he was putting it off because he was scared as my hubby said after we found out we were having a 4th boy that there was no point having another and he simply couldn't make a girl. He has changed his mind but I think he is still scared to try, even with a sway, because he doesn't want to feel a failure if we have 5 boys. He admitted before our gender scan that he was scared in case it was a boy. Although he loves ds4 now, my gender desire comes from his desire for a 'daddy's little girl'

 

[hello_kitty]

So he complied with me about finding out the result as soon as it comes back rather than wait until our trip is over. Nothing can be changed at this point its either he has it or he doesnt...it he doesnt its just gonna much our trip much more enjoyable. If it turns out he does have the trait, we'll just look forward to the amnio when we get back to test baby. I'm just kind of upset that if it turns out he has the trait we will be stopping at 2 even if its another boy. I've always wanted 3-4 children regardless of the gender so stopping at 2 makes me feel like something has been taken away from me...but I know he is trying to be reasonable. I dont want to be selfish and risk the baby's health when we already know we have a blood disorder. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that he doesnt have it. I looked at his blood test and it was just slightly low, unlike mine so its more promising for him than for me.

Overall, I'm just hoping that the baby is ok I really do not want to abort this baby especially when I am already over 15 weeks pregnant.

We are both pissed off at my ob doctor because obviously in his chart he found out I had the trait in 2012 when I was pregnant with my first so it would've been reasonable of him if he told dh to get a blood test done when I was still early on with this pregnancy so if the results come back positive we could terminate the pregnancy without feeling a lot of guilt. I mean, we would sitll be heartbroken but terminating a pregnancy at 6 wks vs. 15+ weeks is a big difference. I just hate how he never tells us anything unless something unexpected comes up. I would have never known that I had the trait if I wasnt pregnant again...he just kept quiet about it until i was pregnant the second time.

 

[Kaiecee]

When will I know the results? And when are u suppose to go for the gender ultrasound?

 

[hello_kitty]

we will be coming in for the blood test monday morning and will get the result back probably on wednesday. If it comes back positive next step is to do amnio but we will have to wait til I get back...I'll be 17 weeks at that point so I am guessing I will either find out the gender via the amnio or a scan. If the result comes back negative and I go back to a normal pregnancy then I will probably try and get the gender scan when I am about 18 weeks...so probably in 3 weeks for the scan.

 

[Kaiecee]

I hope he doesn't have the trait and you can stop stressing

 

[motherofboys]

I'll keep everything crossed for you that he doesn't have the trait

 

[hello_kitty]

Thanks ladies I hope so too!

 

[hello_kitty]

Hello ladies I haven't updated on this thread much but I got my result back regarding the blood work and dh does have the trait as well but because of our percentage it shouldn't affect the baby which makes me so relieved.

We had a nice vacation and just came back on Friday and had my 17 week appointment today. Baby has a strong heartbeat. I'll be coming back for my 20 week scan to find out the gender in 3 weeks. It's gonna feel like forever but I've waited so long already 3 weeks won't kill.

Dh and I were spending time at the mall and I went to the baby's section to look at clothes and the girl clothes are oh so cute! Makes me want a girl even more. How are you ladies dping? Any scans yet?

 

[Kaiecee]

I'm so happy about the result I was crossing my fingers that everything would come back ok

I'm suppose to get af on Monday fx it doesn't come and I hope we finally get our girl can't wait to find out what ur having

 

[hello_kitty]

Thanks kaiecee! Yea I'm really excited hoping for a girl so I can shop a new wardrobe for her. If it's a boy o have nothing to shop for since my son has mostly everything but they are born different seasons so I don't know

 

[Kaiecee]

Well fx we both get girls this year

 

[motherofboys]

so glad to hear its good news on the blood test side. good luck for your scan

 

[hello_kitty]

Thanks motherofboys! Will you be trying again anytime soon?