Happiness and positivity while LTTC

[hopesforababy]

I had a really hard day today and am really trying to feel happy and positive. My head is telling me to be positive, but my heart is just crying. Had to go to the clinic for some tests and to discuss this next round. I don't know what it was, but I got really emotional. Maybe because that stupid test hurt really bad and made me cry! Or maybe because DH keeps bringing up his sister that's going to be induced next week. I've got to keep having my head tell my heart to be strong!

I forget who mentioned the Sarah's Laughter daily devotional, but thank you for that. It does make me feel better, but I just wish that somewhere in there it told me that I was going to get pregnant. I just want to know that there's going to be a happy ending for me.

Aaaarrrggghh!!! Be Happy, Be Happy, Be Happy, Be Happy............

 

[TrixieLox]

Hopesforababy, I totally know what you mean, really struggled on Friday for some reason with the positive thinking (I say 'for some reason' but probably cos I heard my FSH levels have gone above 10). And yes, all I want is for some angel to come down and say 'Right, Trixie, you're definitely going to get pregnant in the next 2 years'.

I guess what we can do instead is make ourselves our own angels (ha! cheesy!) and tell ourselves that 'yes Trixie, you WILL get pregnant soon'.

 

[fluffystar]

I see that some of us on this thread are struggling to find that positive spark inside! It happens sometimes. I lost mine this weekend too but I have woken up with renewed vigour. We should feed off each others positivity so im sending some out to you all.

I have written out my visualisation click here and wanted to share it with you so that we can all visualise our own little miracle happening inside us!!!!

I hope it helps,
Love fluffy xx

 

[manchester1]

this is a great thread. really happy i found it!
the things that keeps me positive, is how much i will appreciate it when i get that bfp. i have so many friends who got their bfp within 3 months of trying, sometimes withing the 1st cycle! but they dont appreciate it. yes they are excited etc etc but they think of it as automatic and dont see it as a privilage.

i think what makes me the most depressed, its not my friends falling pregnant and having babies but when my husband gets upset that his best friends have had babies within 1 year of starting to ttc! this is really upsetting for him and me......

anyway, its really hard for me i have nothing to look forward to or to think positive. im on metformin as i suffer with pcos. no periods for like 6/7 months and nothing to focus on. its really really difficult.

 

[Inky2006]

Hi TrixieLox

I think its great that you have started this thread. It really is hard to stay positive and focused sometimes. In everyday life we have to contend with the news of others pregnancies and needless comments. Sometimes people say things but really have no idea of just how insensitive they are being. It's hard to grin and bear it. In my situation, I am a nurse....and I think people must think I am stronger because I deal with alot in the workplace. I mull it over often...but recently have just thought ' hey forget about it, move on'. And really, unless youv'e been through it, you couldn't possibly understand.

I think your right about visualisation. Its funny, I think I even visualise in my sleep, because just before i woke up this morning I had this sort of vision that I was testing bottle/milk temperature, I had a baby on my hip. I kind of had this fuzzy, warm feeling afterwards. So maybe that is a positive sign.

I think positivity/visualisation works for many things, including illnesses and there seems to be alot of research around to suggest that this can help with people overcoming illnesses. So, theres alot to it.

I think its great you are writing a book. Is it a novel? I would love to do something creative myself. I did A' level Art , got an A but never pursued it, so may look into doing some classes. I am also going to start a French course in September. I absolutely love France but hate not being able to hold a conversation.

I am doing accupuncture and seems to work, but last session had a very itchy nose and found it difficult to scratch so did not feel as relaxed. LOL I do feel alot happier since i have been doing it.

D'you work then, or are you writing? I have cut back on nursing, was a junior sister and am working bank, which means I work when I want to. It means I have flexibility for IVF. I am lucky because DH supports me on this. I do think my job does help me alot though...because when you are going through this it is easy to get self-absorbed and working with people that are ill puts things into perspective. Although, at the same time it can be an emotional drain - so good I've cut back.

Anyway, must go...going for a long walk.

Before I leave, I shall just say on a positive note 'WE WILL ALL HAVE BABIES AND BE MUMMIES IN THE END' .

 

[Mamamirfy]

Yes!!! I watched The Secret a few weeks ago and have been applying it to my everday life. I tell everyone about it. I LOVED it! I just had IUI done with the lowest number the clinic has ever done, they gave me no reason to feel pregnant. I do feel pregnant! I know we will be parents, I have been thinking positive thoughts ever since (I had a few mins of negative but quickly turned it around). I will update with my BFP VERY soon!!!

 

[TrixieLox]

Hi Inky,

I work f/t as a journalist and web producer, and yep, am writing a novel in my spare time. I wrote one last year and it got me a great agent who represents NY Times bestsellers and she got me a good publishing deal in Germany so all very exciting! But now I'm desperate for a UK or US deal so hopefully the book I'm working on now (a gothic book aimed at teens) will get me a deal. It really helps to stop me obsessing about TTCing! I'd recommend taking up some sort of hobby to anyone going through what we're all going through.

 

[TrixieLox]

Yes!!! I watched The Secret a few weeks ago and have been applying it to my everday life. I tell everyone about it. I LOVED it! I just had IUI done with the lowest number the clinic has ever done, they gave me no reason to feel pregnant. I do feel pregnant! I know we will be parents, I have been thinking positive thoughts ever since (I had a few mins of negative but quickly turned it around). I will update with my BFP VERY soon!!!

LOVIN' the positive thinking

 

[FutureMommie]

I had a really hard day today and am really trying to feel happy and positive. My head is telling me to be positive, but my heart is just crying. Had to go to the clinic for some tests and to discuss this next round. I don't know what it was, but I got really emotional. Maybe because that stupid test hurt really bad and made me cry! Or maybe because DH keeps bringing up his sister that's going to be induced next week. I've got to keep having my head tell my heart to be strong!

I forget who mentioned the Sarah's Laughter daily devotional, but thank you for that. It does make me feel better, but I just wish that somewhere in there it told me that I was going to get pregnant. I just want to know that there's going to be a happy ending for me.

Aaaarrrggghh!!! Be Happy, Be Happy, Be Happy, Be Happy............

I Love Sarah's Laughter, I ran across the website about 3 months ago, and they have helped me so much!!!

It's so ironic that I ran across this thread today because I was just thinking that I needed to take a more positive attitude on this ttc thing. We have been ttc'ing for 2.5 years and there have been so many challanges. When I see babies when we are out and about, I can't help but stare, and wonder when my time is coming. Most days I try to remain positive but like many of you have said, it gets really hard. But I am committed to believing that it is going to happen. Thanks for this thread.

 

[hopesforababy]

Yeah, some positivity!! Thank you all so much for the positive words because it helps me so much and holds me accountable. When I'm having a bad day, I see you are staying positive and you all have bad days to. It helps me to suck it up and pick my head up and remember that my time is coming!

Trix, what is the name of your last book? I'd love to read it! Hope this next one is coming along well!

 

[Inky2006]

Hi trixielox, hopesforababy,futuremommie

Thanks for positivity. Keep being positive and smiling. Laughter is also good.

Trixielox, I am so impressed you are a journalist and that you are writing a novel. Seems to be a market for gothic literature, I'm thinking 'Twilight trilogy' and other books of that genre but may be barking up the wrong. Quite often do so.!!!! Hope you get published, as an avid reader (still teenage in nature ) I will read book.

It must be quite a challenge. I went ahead and booked myself on French course, just a little evening class. As I am fairly new to area where I live, thought might be good to meet some new folks and extend the social circle.

Gosh, just read back, please don't hold it against me for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors!!!

Anyway, on the IVF/ICSI stakes feeling very positive today. It must be the spiritual vibes I keep getting. I spoke with a lovely lady earlier, who said she would mention me to her 'pastor' at pentecostal church, and that they would all pray for me. I think this is so kind. She also mentioned it to all the other hospital hostesses (these ladies serve food and undertake general housekeeping.) They all said they would pray as well. This all happened over lunch in the staff room. I felt embarrassed because do not feel a worthy cause. .... and now everyone know!!!!!!

I don't really know where i am going with this......and there is no moral in the story. I suppose support and positivity can come from the most unexpected places..

Futuremommie I know how you feel about looking at people with children, I feel the same. However, what I also think is how lucky I am/ we are. I am nearly in my mid-thirties. I have so many friends who are single in their mid-late thirties (who have great careers) and they have no man and in their lifes (and are finding it difficult to meet a decent one.) At least we have a chance at having a child sometime soon, and have lovely husbands/partners..We are in a better position than most. Actually, this is what my husband reminds me all the time!

Anyway goodnight, and god blessxx

 

[fluffystar]

However, what I also think is how lucky I am/ we are. I am nearly in my mid-thirties. I have so many friends who are single in their mid-late thirties (who have great careers) and they have no man and in their lifes (and are finding it difficult to meet a decent one.) At least we have a chance at having a child sometime soon, and have lovely husbands/partners..We are in a better position than most. Actually, this is what my husband reminds me all the time!

Anyway goodnight, and god blessxx

Inky, I think you are so right with this one. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the whole TTC thing and the stresses it brings but we forget that at least we are in a position of being in a good relationship and actually being able to try. Again, something to be positive about!!!!!

Love fluffy xx

 

[hopesforababy]

Crap, ladies! I need help!

I've been crying my eyes out for the past few hours upon hearing the news that SIL had her baby. I had been psyching myself up to go to the hospital, but when it came down to it, I couldn't. Now I feel like a piece of crap for being a jerk. But I just feel like crap in general because thinking about how happy they are now just makes me that much more sad. I can't even fathom how excited they must be and just wonder if I'll ever get to experience that kind of happiness. This sucks so bad, but I've got to get it together. I start Lupron in the morning. I'm trying to get myself back on the "Yeah, my IVF journey starts tomorrow" track, but right now I'm on the "She gets to hold her baby today and I get to give myself a shot tomorrow" track.

Oh dear, this is so hard.

Visualize good things, visualize good things...............

 

[Inky2006]

Oh hopeforababy

Its absolutely normal to feel the way you do. We all feel a tinge of saddness when someone else has a baby, especially a family member. unfortunately we can't stop the world concieving...every one is at it. So, be brave go and see your niece and swoon over him/her. I have heard some theories that suggest holding or being around babies can make you more fertile. Don't know how true this is. But think worked for David Bowie's wife - read some article....google it.

You, yourself are now on a journey and that journey will end with your own little baby....so chin up. Its normal and good for you to cry. Don't feel like a jerk....we all put off situations sometimes. Don't beat yourself up.

You will get your baby. We all will.xxxx

Need to go to work now!

 

[fluffystar]

Hi Hopesfor baby,
Its absolutely normal to feel like this so please dont be hard onyourself for feeling that way. You only have to read all of these threads to realise you are not alone.

I think you should pick up on inkys theory that being around babies may make you more fertile; if so then its the perfect time if you are starting your IVF!! Lets try and trn it around and think that in 9 months time this really could be you and your SIL will be visiting you are your new bundle - how great will that be!!

Hugs
Fluffy xxx

 

[Starbright]

Thank you for this lovely thread.
I've been struggling recently with stress and negativity and have just started trying guided meditation which has helped tremendously.
I'm going to try visualisation but find it hard - do you actually 'see' these things or just think about them and tell yourself you see them?? Does my question even make sense lol?
Seriously this thread has cheered me up no end! xxxx

 

[ermm23a]

So, I'm sitting at work and I get an email from a friend- Apparently an old friend from school is pregnant. Single. Didn't plan this. Just got knocked up. She's started a cutesy little blog to talk about all her morning sickness and cravings and how she's 14 weeks preg now.......

I don't know what came over me, but as soon as I clicked on the link and read about it, I literally was so mad I got tears in my eyes. I have been crying in my cubicle at work now..... it's just NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!! Why her? I'm trying really hard to remain positive and not to be insanely jealous of her, but I'm finding that super hard to do right now.

Hopesforababy- I feel where you're coming from. this girl isn't even a close friend and I burst into tears this morning. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when one of my close friends/family members gets pregnant.

Trying to channel the positivity

 

[JaniceT]

Entirely agree with you! It took me 3 ICSI cycles to learn to let go, relax and be happy. I was so unhappy and stressed during the first 2 cycles My OBGYN kept reinforcing that I must be happy and relax. Negativity (stress) makes the body create a hormone which doesn't encourage implantation/bean stickability, apparently.

During the 3rd cycle, I changed some core items. Firstly, I took time off from work and cleared my mind entirely of work stress. Secondly, I didn't stress about the ICSI treatment at all. In fact, I was so relaxed that I didn't bother to pee on a stick until the 14th day! Thirdly, I just slept as much as possible, minimal moving around the first 10 days after O-date and continued resting for the 2WW. With a wonderful doctor, it worked wonders this time

 

[hopesforababy]

Congratulations Janice! I am hoping that the third time is a charm for us, too!!

And thank you all for the kind words. I was able to get off of work a little early today and I went with DH up to the hospital to see SIL and the baby. It was really hard and I started tearing up a couple of times while we were there and really cried when we left, but I did it!! TTC has made me feel so weak, but now I know that I am strong. And the support from all of you ladies has helped tremendously! Thank you all so much for that!

And the good news is that I started DR'ing this morning!!! Yeah, I am on the way to my own little bundle of joy!!

 

[TrixieLox]

It is tough when you hear about other people getting preggo or giving birth. For me, it's more what other people think (silly me). Like 'o no, poor girl, must be hard for her to hear that' so I put on a really fake smile when inside I'm feeling like crap.

Starbright, I try to visualise when I'm lying in bed before I go to sleep. It's like fantasising in your head. I imagine my AF being late, then doing a test and telling hubby! I imagine going for a scan, it going amazingly, and I imagine how I'll tell our family. Another thing you can do is this:

Look at the back of your hands. Really take in as much detail as you can. The veins, the tone, the little wrinkles. Everything. Now close your eyes and see yourself going to pick up a baby, your baby.

Inky2006. Yes, you're right, the kinda books I write are like Twilight etc. I love dark brooding paranormal characters and gothic settings

Hopesforababy, none of my books are published in the UK or US yet, only one in Germany (I can send the link to anyone via PM if interested so you can see the pretty cover). But am very hopeful (positive thinking, positive thinking) that one day, I'll get a deal in English. One of my friends is convinced the month I get an English deal is the month I'll fall pregnant, I guess things can sometimes all happen at once!