Happy on the outside, falling apart inside,

[Tudor Rose]

if you seen me from the outside, you,d think i was happy healthy well mummy etc but its all show i feel like im drowning inside. i have 3 children age6,5 and 6 weeks. i suffered with PND with the previous children and i dont wanna admitt to it being back again if that makes sense.
My DH is always working and brings work home so doesnt help me as much as he has things to do so asking him for help is impossible, i work part time (still on mat leave). i honestly dont know how i.l manage when i return work.

i feel like constantly crying, im so tired, i can never get anything done LO is so demanding of my attention compared to the other 2 children. i was stood in the playground after doing the school run and i could smell something turns out it was me! i hadnt showered in 2 days because i hadnt had chance, soon as LO goes sleep at night i do. my housework is mounting up. MIL lives near by but isnt that way inclined to help. my biggest downfall is i cant accept help i feel like i have constantly got to prove myself, God knows why????? im worried these 1st few months will pass in a blur when i should be saviouring every moment with LO. The 1st few months of my previous 2 are a blur because of the PND. and now its happening again, ive already turned to food for comfort.

i know you cant help just need to get it out how im feeling
Thankx for reading.

 

[mightyspu]

I know how you are feeling, J is my first, but I suffered with depression before and I didnt want to admit that I was depressed again. But once I did, I felt much better. Give yourself a break, you are doing an amazing job and it's not easy looking after one, so I can't imagine how knackered you must be with 3!

I hope you can get some help soon. Remember this will pass, it's not forever and you can get through this, it may be that you need to admit it to someone else.

The housework can wait, stop beating yourself up about it, as long as the minimum is done the rest will have to be done by DH.

If you want to PM me to rant, go ahead. Are you getting out and about at all?

 

[Tudor Rose]

i feel like i wanted this baby, i waited 2 yrs for OH to agree 12 months ttc. i shouldnt be feeling like this.

Does school runs count as out and about?

How are you doing anyway?

 

[mightyspu]

No, you shouldn't be feeling like this, you wanted a baby, not PND! It's not bloody fair is it?

I don't know if the school run counts, I try and go for a walk most days or go see my mum or someone. A bit of fresh air helps, at least the weather is nice at the moment.

I am not too bad, J hates to be put down, so I have to carry him about constantly and can't do my housework. But it's getting better and slowly I am getting back on track.