Have 4 boys already and was told #5 is a boy too.....

[allforthegirl]

I had such strong strong feelings that this baby was a girl. Never felt so strongly that it would be either gender. I just had a feeling with my last that it was a boy, but this one...... I was so sure that I was even putting some clothing on hold that were being sold in my area.

When we went for our last u/s I saw the nub, I was just under 17 weeks by EDD LMP. I wasn't sure if it was too early or not so I asked, and she said right away she knew what baby was. I didn't cry there but I got home and was completely devastated. I was angry at myself, angry at all those that told me they saw my little girl, or said that they could tell I was getting what I wanted. Even before we got pg I was seeing this little girls soul around. I am a very spiritual person. I have always thought since I was very young that I was meant to raise a daughter. I finally thought that this was my chance. I was honestly done having children until so many things came into place, it almost seemed silly to have so many messages come forth from our angels not to go for it.

This is #5 and I cannot have another. I don't think I am going to handle the stress level as it is with 5 boys running around. There is no way I would chance it again just to be put through disappointment of not having that little girl I thought was mine. Never will that happen now and that is very hard to swallow.

I am very angry! I seriously want to punch all those that told me anything to do with this child. Even my angels! For showing me her, for what? For giving me another boy when I told them I was happy with my boys and the only thing missing was my girl? This part of my faith is shot. I will always and forever pine over her. If this was something my soul needed to go through well I am not sure if my soul will heal before moving on to the next.

I have been even just so I can move on a bit tried some what convincing myself that maybe just maybe they were wrong. That in two weeks they will in fact tell me they were wrong and my little girl is actually with me..... But I am trying my hardest not to go too far with this. I really believe that I will just hurt myself more.....

I am jealous hearing about others finding out they are having a girl. My heart breaks everything I see a little baby girl smile. How am I to get over this so I can go on loving this little man? I am really really struggling with this. It is like getting to the end of a pg and not being able to hold that child in your arms, nurse it, love it the way you wanted to. Why does this have to happen to anyone?

 

[Louise88]

I'm so sorry Hun and I really do hope they were wrong about your baby being a boy and its really your daughter, I know there's members on here who got told boy at their 20 week scan and gave birth to a girl! It happens. If not i know that you were obviously meant to be blessed with another beautiful boy, and you never know your little girl could still be in your future, I know you say this is your last but you may end up with a surprise pregnancy which could be your girl maybe she's just not ready to meet you yet and your angels are showing you a future child

I promise this feeling of disappointment will lift its just so hard thinking that you could ever feel happy but you will

 

[Misscalais]

Sorry you didn't hear girl, do you know for sure it's a boy?
Be thankful for your 5 healthy boys they love you more than life.
And I know it doesn't help ( but this is what I've been saying to myself incase I never get a daughter ) that hopefully your sons will bring you grand daughters. I know it's not the same and I know it's always going to hurt but at least there's a possibility to have sweet grand daughters in your life when the time comes.

 

[allforthegirl]

Well they seemed pretty sure, but it only looked like the nub to me. There was no scrotum or anything, but I also didn't see the lines either, but it wasn't all that up close. When she showed it to us she went up from under the bum. It looked like it was standing up but we aren't sure if it was the angle or not. It is so hard not to think they could be wrong, but at the same time I am not banking on it because I don't want that let down happen all over again.

I know I will love this one regardless of the sex. I am falling in love with this little person more and more every day. I am getting more movement as well. This is not what I am having troubles with. I am just grieving very heavily for this little girl I will never have I also am not sure if we were to have an oppsie that I would keep it. I know that may sound bad, but my sanity comes first. That is how much I truly do not want 6 boys! No matter how much they will love me!

 

[motherofboys]

I'm on my 4th boy and I was so so sure he was a girl. I' in two minds about going for a 5th. I'm not going to say that it completely goes away, but I've known since 16 weeks now that I was having a boy (paid for a private gender scan) and had it confirmed at two more standard scans. It does get better though. There are those times when I go back to feeling like "why couldn't he have just been a girl, everything would have been so much easier" but most of the time I'm at peace with him being a boy.
I also had the feeling that a girl was what was missing from my life and needed to complete my family. Now, apart from those times which are quite rare when I feel down about it all again, I realise a girl is not what is missing, I don't need a girl to complete my family. And I wouldn't swap any of the boys I have for a girl so I know I wouldn't swap this one for a girl.
I'm 34 weeks now and can't wait to experience life with 4 boys.
I know you may have been through this all before. This was my first experience of gender disappointment. And I know it must be so much hard when there isn't the option of one more. Its the struggling to make that choice that sends me into relapses.

 

[maybebaby3]

I was sure this one was a girl but its another boy. I was upset at first but now I'm just looking forward to meeting him

 

[allforthegirl]

Days go by and the easier it gets. I am being more gentle with myself and allowing to feel the way I feel on bad days. What I am finding is that what we feel is completely normal, and that with each tear allows more room to love this little guy in my belly!! I am having more and more good days and less bad days. But I am allowing myself those days to be bad, otherwise the longer and longer it will take for me to heal.

 

[motherofboys]

Your so right, you have to allow yourself to feel these things so that you can deal with those feelings. No good burying them, they'll only fester. Glad to hear that your letting them out and the love in and making progress.

 

[allforthegirl]

So today was actually starting to be a good day! Then one lady on FB in one group I am on says she is pg with a girl. First thought to myself was, "oh isn't that just wonderful" in an disgusted tone. I just can't be happy for her, even though I know she was hoping for a girl. Nope just can't. Maybe one day I will but not today. Then it seemed that universe wanted me to just get used to the fact that others will have girls cause then I found out someone else is having a girl. What got me angry about this post is the comment I knew it was. Well F U cause you have a 50-50 chance of being right and made me feel awful for not being correct with my strong feelings. Ok I am done with my rant today!

 

[motherofboys]

I had to come off of facebook last night and just go to bed. Someone posted a pic of the most gorgeous tiny baby girl. After 2 boys I know she was desperate for a girl and I had given her my whole hearted congratulations when she found out she was having a girl. But actually seeing her, she looked like a tiny china doll, was different.
Then on my news feed an old friend from school who rarely comes on facebook so I didn't even know she was pregnant posted a picture of her new baby girl, she already has 1 boy. I just had that "everyone but me has a girl" feeling. So decided before I got too sad I'd just go to bed. I usually find it all looks better in the morning

 

[allforthegirl]

Well I am asking my angels for a lot more strength and trust that everything is going the way it is meant to. Just a very hard day. I understand completely what you felt though. I am sure that I would have done the same!

Well I guess the day can only get better from here. Right?

 

[motherofboys]

I'm sure this is how its meant to be and for whatever reason some people are just meant to have all one gender. Doesn't make it easier when you have your heart set on the opposite. Most of the time I'm quite positive about it and think I must be doing a good job as a boy Mum which is why I keep getting given another. Other times I can't help but think what did I do to not deserve a girl. A 'friend' actually said to me, when my 3rd boy was about a year old and she had just found out she was having a girl, "you're the only one out of our whole group of friends with out a girl now" at the time I was TTC so knew there would be another baby and it didn't bother me. Now I don't know, DH told someone the other day he was done and made a joke about getting the snip, so it was very fresh when I had my facebook flooded with images of tiny baby girls. I have to remind myself to be grateful for having a baby at all and some people may look at my pictures of my boys and feel sad that they may never have children.

 

[allforthegirl]

I do already love this one tons. What I am having issues with lately that I feel robbed of that we will never get that chance of having a girl. And like you when people make snide remarks about not having a girl, or laughing that we didn't get that girl, just really makes it really hard. You know it is none of their business, but they feel that they have a right to comment how they feel on the subject. I could say something to smack them in the face with their inappropriate comments but then it makes me look bad and bitchy. So I guess I just get to suck it up, pretend to laugh it off, and cry inside. Why do people have to be so cruel.

 

[motherofboys]

I'm sure you know only too well the "wow 4 boys" people like to say when you tell them your having another boy.
People just have to have something to say. Its always "will you try again for a girl?" if it had been a girl it would have been "will you stop now you have girl" which I feel would have devalues my boys as if they are not as good as girls.
And if its not that its bump size, your either huge and must have 2 in there or tiny.

 

[allforthegirl]

LOL yup but for me it will be "wow 5 boys! You going to try for that girl again or are you done?" Like what is that any of your business. And so what if we gave it one more go? That was our decision and had nothing to do with you, now go away!

 

[motherofboys]

People say it as if the care of 4/5 boys is any different to the care of 4/5 children of mixed genders. They all still need feeding, clothing, attention, putting to bed, getting to school in the morning.
As much as I did/do want a girl, I get very defensive of having all boys, or boys in general. People say girls are hard work, but then when you say you have boys its always what a handful they must be and how boys are much naughtier and harder to control and so loud.

 

[allforthegirl]

That is just it. People always say that boys are easier. Are they really? All of mine have destroyed so many things in our home, like dressers or clothing that I really don't think they cost any less. As for better behaved I could argue that too. Boys are constantly at eachother even if it over the smallest of things! So for me I would have loved to have that little gentle being that loves to keep things neat(er) and clean(er). To brush her hair, and dress in cute things. Boys just have crap for clothes. Even the cute stuff is really no match for what girls wear.

 

[Misscalais]

That is just it. People always say that boys are easier. Are they really? All of mine have destroyed so many things in our home, like dressers or clothing that I really don't think they cost any less. As for better behaved I could argue that too. Boys are constantly at eachother even if it over the smallest of things! So for me I would have loved to have that little gentle being that loves to keep things neat(er) and clean(er). To brush her hair, and dress in cute things. Boys just have crap for clothes. Even the cute stuff is really no match for what girls wear.

Lol coming from a home of 3 sisters and one brother boys are easier lol! It was a constant bitch fight with us girls and we were all a nightmare in the teen years. Little bro has never caused any mischief
My boys on the other hand are full on so for me I'd say both sexes are just as hard as one another lol it's a nice thought though.

 

[motherofboys]

See I was the uncomplicated trouble free one, I only have brothers (twins 13 months younger than me) and we were close, yes we would fight, but I wasn't your typical teenage girl. I would concede that when girls hormones kick and they are getting their periods etc it would probably make things harder then. But with little kids in my experience from my nieces, nephews, friends kids and my own, children are children and its down to personality rather than gender. My boys are all so different. My eldest, although the type to take his clothes off and just drop them in random places round the room and leave them there, is much quieter, very bookish, he would happily sit and read or draw or watch documentaries all day and you could forget that he was there.
DS2 is the one to break stuff, he spends a lot of his time hyped right up, I've even gone through looking at his diet and seeing if I can change things (although they don't have lots of sweets or sugary drinks etc) because he just can not rest, even in bed at night as his falling asleep his moving right up to the moment he passes out. And DS3 is kind of in the middle, he is capable of sitting and playing quietly by himself, or with others, he can get riled up by DS2s activities and get hyped up too, but his mainly just mischievous.
My niece (from my brother) is EXACTLY like DS2 everything his done she has done it as well, everything her Mum comes to me and says shes just done DS2 has done. I have friends that when they tell me about their daughter and their interests or behaviours are the same as my other 2 as well.
I think if you have had an 'easy' girl followed by a more difficult boy you will think boys are harder, if you have had the opposite you will think the opposite is true. And I imagine a few girls together would be difficult, I went to an all girls school and lasted 11 weeks, couldn't get on being surrounded by girls LOL Girls will bitch at other girls, and boys will fight with other boys, but I think thats normal between siblings anyway.
I did think about all the girly clothes and doing her hair and stuff and that is what I wanted, but then I thought with 3 big brothers and a very ungirly Mum how girly would she actually be? I know as soon as I could express myself I refused to wear dresses and pretty clothes and wanted jeans and t shirts, and just screamed the house down the whole time my Mum was combing my hair.

 

[allforthegirl]

My family sounds very similar to yours. I was the only girl in my family. I didn't even have any girl cousins that was around my age. (not until way later and we were not that close to them) Though I wanted to keep up and do everything the boys were doing, I played football, was one of the first girls in Boy Scouts that switched it to Scouts of Canada. LOL With all that I also wanted to be the pretty one. I didn't wear many dresses as my mother didn't like them, but I wouldn't have been able to wear them do to the stuff I always wanted to do anyways LOL.

As for my boys. DS1 is very much a pretty boy and loves to be social, and lately (probably his age) is trying to move away from his brothers. He is always bored and needs to be told things to do, (very annoying at times) and rather be with the adults, but I want him to go off and be a child. He is a true gemini, people say he is wonderful and I see an angry/bully boy at home. DS2 Well he is my troubled (i say this with tons of love) child, he too like yours has issues with sitting still, but at the same time he is my child that can play by himself very well all day, and not here from him, especially if he is doing something or watching something that has to do with dino's. He was just diagnosed with Aspergers this year, and he is hard to get going, or to keep going. So he like having two or three children in one, but I love him just the same. DS3 well he was my child that in the beginning wanted really nothing to do with me once he was done nursing. He is more of a gentle, but loud boy, as he felt like he needed to yell to be heard. He also can play very nicely by himself, and 2 & 3 for the most part play wonderfully! Then there is DS4 he is the biggest mommy suck ALIVE! He spends all day trying to please me, tell me how much he loves me, and how beautiful he thinks I am. Almost like he was a past life lover LOL. He hates being told that he is little, or cute. He is adamit that he is big not small, and awesome not cute, because cute is for babies. His much like DS1 that wants to be grown too fast. A true Capricorn.

I completely agree with you about what the type of child you have makes all the difference regardless the gender. Just sucks that I will never be able to find out for myself.

Maybe like you I always felt more comfortable with being around guys than girls. I always found the cattiness of it all unbearable. So with what you said and I said maybe this is why we are just having boys.