Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Asher]

Hiya everyone, I am another homebirth hopeful! Due 11th September, but have never made it to 37 weeks in my previous 2 pregnancies. I am hoping for a full termer this time AND a homebirth! Fingers crossed! I am loving reading about everyone's hopes and stories. x

 

[Janidog]

Congratulations Nightkd

I picked up my birthing pool last night and just need to order 2 new liners and get it pumped up to sort it out.

Getting a bit fed up from having some many negative comments about going over due. All i keep hearing is 'he will be late' 'You will have to be induced' 'No point trying for a home birth cause you'll end up in hospital' Thankfully hubby and some ladies who i met through the NCT are supportive, but it does get frustrating

 

[Mervs Mum]

They're jealous Jani I like to employ what's known as the 'bean dip' technique.....when they say a negative comment you ask if they want any bean dip/tea/coffee/cake - what ever you like you just ignore it and move on. Dont justify or explain because they sound like they are past talking to about it.

Them: 'You know you're likely to go over due and need inducing.....'
You: 'Oh right....would you like some more cake?'



x

 

[nikki-lou25]

They're jealous Jani I like to employ what's known as the 'bean dip' technique.....when they say a negative comment you ask if they want any bean dip/tea/coffee/cake - what ever you like you just ignore it and move on. Dont justify or explain because they sound like they are past talking to about it.

Them: 'You know you're likely to go over due and need inducing.....'
You: 'Oh right....would you like some more cake?'



x

I adopt a similar tecnhique of just changing subject. I'm glad you've got support Jani!

I've even had "well your first one went ok, but you wont be that lucky twice"

BLAH BLAH BLAH - Shhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

[wannabubba#4]

Congratulations Nightkd

I picked up my birthing pool last night and just need to order 2 new liners and get it pumped up to sort it out.

Getting a bit fed up from having some many negative comments about going over due. All i keep hearing is 'he will be late' 'You will have to be induced' 'No point trying for a home birth cause you'll end up in hospital' Thankfully hubby and some ladies who i met through the NCT are supportive, but it does get frustrating

OMG Why do ppl feel it neccessary to be so negative??? Yep a lot of babies are later than their EDD but most still come within 10-14 days later without induction!!! Why feel the need to say it though?? I am sure all us homebirth hopefuls have these thoughts sometimes ourselves without ppl pointing it out

I agree with MM and Nikki -ignore them, change the subject, even leave the room haha. Try not to let them wind you up xx

And YAY!! for getting your birthing pool -exciting stuff, I cant wait to get to try mine out for real xx

 

[Janidog]

Thanks girls for cheering me up

I am worrying a bit cause my midwife did say that my cut of for a home birth is 10days over, so if i get to 11/12 days then they will refuse me a home birth and said i will have to go to hospital for an induction So now im thinking pants and thinking of ways to get him out early

 

[pinkie77]

Good luck Jani, hope you get your homebirth x

I need to find out what the cut-off is for my area now as I went overdue with my last two and I really really hope to finally get my hb this time. I was going to have a hb with youngest but I'd had enough after 13 days over and was induced - they were still happy for me to carry on waiting for something to happen and have a hb at that point though. After they'd checked me and my son over of course! I'm sure they said 16 days as long as all was well? That was a long time ago now - 9 years!

*adds to list of q's to ask midwife next time*

 

[Janidog]

Good luck Jani, hope you get your homebirth x

I need to find out what the cut-off is for my area now as I went overdue with my last two and I really really hope to finally get my hb this time. I was going to have a hb with youngest but I'd had enough after 13 days over and was induced - they were still happy for me to carry on waiting for something to happen and have a hb at that point though. After they'd checked me and my son over of course! I'm sure they said 16 days as long as all was well? That was a long time ago now - 9 years!

*adds to list of q's to ask midwife next time*

I think its stupid to have different rules for different areas i.e mine in Rugby is 10 days, but my sister in Gosport/Portsmouth is 14 days

 

[nikki-lou25]

Jani - chances are if you went over you'd be fed up and maybe feel ok about induction. However, you don't HAVE to be induced. Get them to keep an eye on bubs and make sure the placenta is functioning and you could maybe get a few more days or maybe more.
Each place has different 'rules' I think here it's 14 days!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Jani no matter how long you go over you dont HAVE to be induced! They have to provide monitoring for you everyday past their 'cut off' point. you say they will wont allow you your HB and will 'make' you be induced but what are they going to do? Turn up at your house and arrest you, take you to hospital and strap you to a bed like some crazy birth rapists??!! NO! You might not want to refuse at that point but it's YOUR choice! You will have to walk in of your own free will or it wont happen.

When I refused induction I had a fairly understanding consultant. One of the MWs assisting the consultant said to me after 'oh you're lucky is was Dr Xxxx because they others wouldnt have let you do that......' I said 'Well THEY are lucky it wasnt me because I would have refused them just the same!!'. Hospitals work on free will - you're not in an asylum or prison - you just walk out.

 

[MadamRose]

I didnt know you could refuse to be induced and still be allowed your home birth.
Im really happy my OH is being really positive about the home birth saying he wants to help me get the house ready for the homebirth and he really can't wait. ATM we are not telling family, friends ect about the homebirth as ive not even re-brought it up with my midwife yet. And we also think it might be speical if they dont know im having a home birth and i can just ring them from home once ive had our little one

 

[marley2580]

Jani no matter how long you go over you dont HAVE to be induced! They have to provide monitoring for you everyday past their 'cut off' point. you say they will wont allow you your HB and will 'make' you be induced but what are they going to do? Turn up at your house and arrest you, take you to hospital and strap you to a bed like some crazy birth rapists??!! NO! You might not want to refuse at that point but it's YOUR choice! You will have to walk in of your own free will or it wont happen.

When I refused induction I had a fairly understanding consultant. One of the MWs assisting the consultant said to me after 'oh you're lucky is was Dr Xxxx because they others wouldnt have let you do that......' I said 'Well THEY are lucky it wasnt me because I would have refused them just the same!!'. Hospitals work on free will - you're not in an asylum or prison - you just walk out.

I completely agree, I also refused induction and Kaya came by herself at 42+2. To this day I am glad I refused as she didn't descend AND was back to back so I needed a section, but I had a wonderful relaxed labour at home - the thought of being induced and going through all that makes me shudder.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I didnt know you could refuse to be induced and still be allowed your home birth.

they have a duty to come to you where ever you are. They can advise you but if you are happy to go against their advice what can they do? I knew it was right for me to refuse induction when I did so I politely but firmly said I wouldnt be being induced. I explained myself to the Dr and then we talked about what we could do to monitor baby. I still had my homebirth.

 

[MadamRose]

aww its nice that your doctor was so helpful when you stated you didnt want to be induced

 

[Mervs Mum]

she was AND 2 weeks later she even apologised and said she was probably wrong to suggest it in the first place but she was (and I quote) 'duty bound to interfere'.....and that's it in ia nutshell - interfering when it's not needed....

Here's a great quote from the author of my favourite HB book - Sheila Stubbs:

The midwife considers the miracle of birth as normal, and leaves it alone unless there’s trouble.
The obstetrician normally sees birth as trouble; if he leaves it alone it’s a miracle.

 

[MadamRose]

Yes very nice quote, and what your midwife said was really nice to

 

[trumpetbum]

Congrats NKD. I think your birth story sounds really positive even if it didn't quite go to plan. Don't forget that hospital is the safety net/back up for all of us. We're giving ourself the best chance to have a natural birth without unnecessary medical intervention, but at the end of the day knowing that the same intervention and medical professionals are there if we need them. Hospitals are wonderful things when used on an 'as needed' basis. An epidural can be the difference between a vaginal delivery and a section after a prolonged labour where the mum's energy levels have plummeted, you should feel empowered. Evelyn is beautiful, I love her name

 

[Celesse]

I also refused induction and admission. I informed my MW I would be staying at home til 42+2 and wouldn't be induced til 42+5. She advised having a scan and consultant app at 42wks.

I went into labour at 42 wks and still went in for the app in early labour to make sure baby was ok. The scan showed she was.... I was back in 5hrs later with fetal distress.

 

[Blob]

I was told the same by my MW that they wouldnt do a HB if i go over and also wouldnt discuss it until 38 weeks

I just smiled I will have my HB unless there is something wrong with my baby and they can deal.

 

[lozzy21]

Midwife today. Wonder what she will have to say