~*~ Hoping for Our Special Stocking Stuffers! ~*~ December Testing: 7 BFP's, 1 angel

[battyatty]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

 

[oldermom1975]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now . Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Sorry about your losses, SPP.
My DH seems to be happy with "whatever happens", which is fine unless the suggested treatment options are expensive (as we have spent so much already).
I really think he just doesn't want to get hurt again. Maybe that is a common theme....

 

[oldermom1975]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

Ugh! Men. They have no idea what they want.

 

[battyatty]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now . Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Sorry about your losses, SPP.
My DH seems to be happy with "whatever happens", which is fine unless the suggested treatment options are expensive (as we have spent so much already).
I really think he just doesn't want to get hurt again. Maybe that is a common theme....

I think you have a wonderful guy there, he wants a baby, but doesn't want you to go through pain anymore....

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now . Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Sorry about your losses, SPP.
My DH seems to be happy with "whatever happens", which is fine unless the suggested treatment options are expensive (as we have spent so much already).
I really think he just doesn't want to get hurt again. Maybe that is a common theme....

Thank you oldermom . I know with my DH, he says he doesn't like that the losses happened but he knows that this has all affected me more than him. He wanted to fix it and he couldn't so he felt kind of helpless about how to bring me back to the living. Until he can see the belly growing, see me going through labor, and hold the baby after it's born, it's just not "real", in a sense, to him. I mean, he knows it's real but he's not the one going through all the physical changes in the early stages so there's a bit of a disconnect there.

 

[oldermom1975]

I think you have a wonderful guy there, he wants a baby, but doesn't want you to go through pain anymore....

Yeah, he is a good egg.
But he does insulate himself from my pregnancies, even halfway through our pregnancy with DD, he was sort of noncommittal. I had a hard time talking with him about names when I was 20 weeks! His parents eventually had a talk with him about being a little more positive, and told him if he wanted to have anything to do with her name he needed to make his opinions known.
He told me a few days ago that when I get pregnant he just assumes it isn't going to work out, and if it does work out he will be pleasantly surprised.
*sigh*
It's okay. Just leaves me a little lonely sometimes in my feelings of loss surrounding these pregnancies.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

Men are . Shoot, and they think we're the nutty ones, ha!

 

[oldermom1975]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now . Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Sorry about your losses, SPP.
My DH seems to be happy with "whatever happens", which is fine unless the suggested treatment options are expensive (as we have spent so much already).
I really think he just doesn't want to get hurt again. Maybe that is a common theme....

Thank you oldermom . I know with my DH, he says he doesn't like that the losses happened but he knows that this has all affected me more than him. He wanted to fix it and he couldn't so he felt kind of helpless about how to bring me back to the living. Until he can see the belly growing, see me going through labor, and hold the baby after it's born, it's just not "real", in a sense, to him. I mean, he knows it's real but he's not the one going through all the physical changes in the early stages so there's a bit of a disconnect there.

Um, exactly!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

I think you have a wonderful guy there, he wants a baby, but doesn't want you to go through pain anymore....

Yeah, he is a good egg.
But he does insulate himself from my pregnancies, even halfway through our pregnancy with DD, he was sort of noncommittal. I had a hard time talking with him about names when I was 20 weeks! His parents eventually had a talk with him about being a little more positive, and told him if he wanted to have anything to do with her name he needed to make his opinions known.
He told me a few days ago that when I get pregnant he just assumes it isn't going to work out, and if it does work out he will be pleasantly surprised.
*sigh*
It's okay. Just leaves me a little lonely sometimes in my feelings of loss surrounding these pregnancies.

to you both. Definitely sounds like he goes into self-protect mode. It's really difficult and we all process this in so many different ways. Pregnancy loss is a seriously lonely road. You've got nobody but you dealing with it at the heart of the matter but you've got innumerable women that have gone/are going/will go through it with you as well. It's a powerful, sad, lonely, contemplative place to be...

 

[oldermom1975]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

The instability of his opinions must be so frustrating. You do need his support in this process, for your own peace of mind.
11 weeks? I am so sorry!

 

[battyatty]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

The instability of his opinions must be so frustrating. You do need his support in this process, for your own peace of mind.
11 weeks? I am so sorry!

Yep 11 weeks, was actually starting to believe I had done it, and so had he...
I think the whole mmc scared the life out of him. He was stuck in the UK and the hospitals were giving me all the worst case scenarios, they dragged me into hospital to have the mc there, as I am now living alone with him abroad with just my kids up the side of a mountain..
I never felt so alone... no one knew as we hadnt told a soul. We were waiting for the 12 week mark.... that was only 4 weeks ago...

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Yes battatty, I'm so sorry about your losses . I meant to express this before and got turned around .

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Making the huuuuuge decision to stop the babymaking: OH's get weird about stuff sometimes with this stuff . My DH has always known that I wanted a big family, like 6+ kids. He knew this even before we got married. After #1 he went all "IDK yet..." about #2 . Then he hemmed and hawed and pulled the "IDK if I want anymore..." about #3 *sigh* . Then I lost the third pregnancy and he was on board after that (maybe it was all my crying and despair that got him ). Lost the fourth pregnancy and he's pretty determined to get a third now. Who knows WTF goes on in their minds lol.

Tell me about it!
January my DF says lets try, I take my IUD out, I then find out 8 weeks later I had a mc, didnt even know I was 6 weeks, had bleed at 4 weeks, thought it was AF. I got upset and put the IUD back in, he came with me didnt say a word till days later he said I wish I hadnt!
Then July he starts again with the baby making idea. So this time I go to doc get bloods done the works to see if possible at my age, get my IUD out again, and bam BFP straight away again! But alas another mc at 11w. Now he is NO WAY, NO MORE!
What gets me though, 2 weeks ago he turns up, surprise visit and we bd like rabbits for the 2 days and he knows I dont have any protection!

The instability of his opinions must be so frustrating. You do need his support in this process, for your own peace of mind.
11 weeks? I am so sorry!

Yep 11 weeks, was actually starting to believe I had done it, and so had he...
I think the whole mmc scared the life out of him. He was stuck in the UK and the hospitals were giving me all the worst case scenarios, they dragged me into hospital to have the mc there, as I am now living alone with him abroad with just my kids up the side of a mountain..
I never felt so alone... no one knew as we hadnt told a soul. We were waiting for the 12 week mark.... that was only 4 weeks ago...

Ugh, the "safe zone". Think I know a little too much now to ever believe in a "safe zone" ever again. Pregnancy loss is so raw, so brutal. It really twists up one's belief in their ability to function properly.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Pregnancy, birth, so wonderful and amazing but there are no guarantees; and that can be terrifying...

 

[battyatty]

Anyway...................
Lets get out of this doom and gloom, its nearly Christmas!
I am going to make the biggest Christmas wish... that all you wonderful, amazing ladies will all get BFP's very very very soon!

 

[AshNAmber]

and here i am complaining about OPK's.. I'm sorry you ladies are going through so much I'v never even seen a BFP and I get heart broken over it.. I honestly can't imagine how i would feel to go through a MC let alone more than one.. you very strong women!!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Anyway...................
Lets get out of this doom and gloom, its nearly Christmas!
I am going to make the biggest Christmas wish... that all you wonderful, amazing ladies will all get BFP's very very very soon!

Right! Going to hop on the treadmill in a bit to try and coax a healthy fertilized egg to do some serious burrowing .

and here i am complaining about OPK's.. I'm sorry you ladies are going through so much I'v never even seen a BFP and I get heart broken over it.. I honestly can't imagine how i would feel to go through a MC let alone more than one.. you very strong women!!

Everybody's on their own road; TTC is and can drive ya to drink. Now, where's my mudslide...

 

[oldermom1975]

Pregnancy, birth, so wonderful and amazing but there are no guarantees; and that can be terrifying...

Too true. When you get pregnant, you stay worried. There is all of a sudden so much to lose! And when you do lose, it just seems to add to the tiny little void that little soul left behind....


Dang, where is my DH with that mudslide?!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

And women are friggin' pillars of all kinds of awesomeness for sure!

 

[battyatty]

What the bloody hell is a MUDSLIDE?????
Right off to google I go