Horrified .. drinking and smoking

[Lesli45]

This thread is really interesting and always a hot topic. I just had to add my 2 cents.

I don't smoke and I am another one of the ones who hasn't touched alcohol since I became pregnant. Like so many on here have stated we are all different and all entitled to our opinions. Just because I think that alcohol is a risk for me doesn't mean that I judge someone else who thinks a glass or two is ok. Especially since some health professionals condone it as acceptable. I'm not telling that person she is a bad mother or a child abuser...what I'm saying is that for me it's a risk. The fact that there is so much debate on here about what's safe and what's not, for ME is enough to warrant not having any drink. Plus the thought of it makes me ill so that's a plus lol.

Anyways, I can understand why it's get so heated but don't understand a few of the comments on both sides. Just because I decide not to drink alcohol or cut out caffeine doesn't mean that should be compared to avoiding crossing the street or avoiding pollution. The fact is I can't control pollution or getting hit by a bus but I can control what goes into my body. And I do have to say that I also don't ever understand the argument, well my friend smoked like a chimney and her kids are ok, because that doesn't mean her next one will be or that others haven't felt the ill effects. Why risk it? The studies are there...

I'm not perfect. I detest veggies and fruits during this pregnancy and have to force them down. I try to drink my water but don't always get as much as I should. I've had the odd McDonald's burger. For me, the point is that I try. Just like the smokers who have tried to quit or have cut down. At least you are trying and my hat goes off to you. I can't imagine having to kick an addiction cold turkey that is comparable to a heroin addiction. And for those who have 1 or 2 glasses, I don't judge at all, I'm just saying it's not for me. For those who just say, it's my body and I can do whatever I want (in excess) I guess I just don't get since it is no longer just your body anymore, it's shared space and that little kiddo in there doesn't have a say.

Anyways, I'm really tired today so I'm kind of all over the map here. For those smokers trying to quit or cut back, good luck to you. Wishing everyone well in their pregnancies!

 

[ess]

This thread is really interesting and always a hot topic. I just had to add my 2 cents.

I don't smoke and I am another one of the ones who hasn't touched alcohol since I became pregnant. Like so many on here have stated we are all different and all entitled to our opinions. Just because I think that alcohol is a risk for me doesn't mean that I judge someone else who thinks a glass or two is ok. Especially since some health professionals condone it as acceptable. I'm not telling that person she is a bad mother or a child abuser...what I'm saying is that for me it's a risk. The fact that there is so much debate on here about what's safe and what's not, for ME is enough to warrant not having any drink. Plus the thought of it makes me ill so that's a plus lol.

Anyways, I can understand why it's get so heated but don't understand a few of the comments on both sides. Just because I decide not to drink alcohol or cut out caffeine doesn't mean that should be compared to avoiding crossing the street or avoiding pollution. The fact is I can't control pollution or getting hit by a bus but I can control what goes into my body. And I do have to say that I also don't ever understand the argument, well my friend smoked like a chimney and her kids are ok, because that doesn't mean her next one will be or that others haven't felt the ill effects. Why risk it? The studies are there...

I'm not perfect. I detest veggies and fruits during this pregnancy and have to force them down. I try to drink my water but don't always get as much as I should. I've had the odd McDonald's burger. For me, the point is that I try. Just like the smokers who have tried to quit or have cut down. At least you are trying and my hat goes off to you. I can't imagine having to kick an addiction cold turkey that is comparable to a heroin addiction. And for those who have 1 or 2 glasses, I don't judge at all, I'm just saying it's not for me. For those who just say, it's my body and I can do whatever I want (in excess) I guess I just don't get since it is no longer just your body anymore, it's shared space and that little kiddo in there doesn't have a say.

Anyways, I'm really tired today so I'm kind of all over the map here. For those smokers trying to quit or cut back, good luck to you. Wishing everyone well in their pregnancies!

This is exactly the point I was trying to make about that fact that NONE of us are perfect- I'm not sure about references to crossing roads etc but my reference to caffeine and bad foods was in order to make the point that although we can control things we consume-we can't worry about every single morsel that passes through our lips, as long as it's in moderation and within gov't guidelines- some mums on here propose that they are 'perfect' (they look down on those that have the odd drink) and I am disputing this as I don't believe that anybody is.

We all have our faults and sometimes we don't think about our baby's health first- we choose to have a hamburger, or a cup of coffee- because- We are only human and are NOT perfect!

And if you just think it's just alcohol and fags that damage the baby- it isn't! NOT that I'm saying people should drink loads of booze and smoke fags- just that we judge each other way too harshly-even those who are drinking within recommended limits!

Article:

https://bit.ly/sG3i


Not sure why people can't understand the reasons for the comparison- it's pretty obvious!

 

[grey_pony]

Am I being dramatic? No. Im not only speaking as a Doctor but Im speaking as a 27 year old first time mum who's mother (who is a very heavy smoker) has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and will never get to see her grandchild grow up. Im too young to lose my mother but Im going to and very soon. I dont blame the cigarettes entirely. But I dont think they helped matters at all.

to you!! I am 26 (edited, I didn't even get my own age right! and will most likely soon be facing the death of my stepfather due to cancer. He stopped treatments months ago and is now just on meds to control the pain. Sadly, I do not think he will meet our child, due in September

We lost my grandfather to emphysema, and he said if we wanted to know what it was like, to try breathing through a straw. It is nearly impossible!!

Smoking during pregnancy is just a 9 month blip out of your life, but beyond that I think quitting is important so you will be alive and healthy for many years of your child's life. I begged DH for 6 years to quit, and he finally kicked the habit before he came home from deployment, right before we TTC. I am so proud of him, and hope our child does not have to lose a parent at age 26 due to cancer.

I wish you all luck in your journey to quit - I know you can do it. Your child needs you to be around and healthy for a long time!!

 

[hopefulfor09]

I normally don't comment on these drasted threads but after reading some of the posts I feel like putting in my two cents.

I am sorry.....but you cannot in your right mind compare smoking or drinking excessively while pregnant to eating deli meats or inhaling car fumes. That is just ridiculous and ignorant. It's called rationalization...something we often do when we feel guilty because we are doing something we know is wrong.

Smoking when you're pregnant is wrong. Drinking excessively when you're pregnant is wrong. No ifs ands or buts about it. Sorry.

I was a smoker....a smoker who loved smoking (I guess all smokers do) but I can honestly say that the minute my pregnancy test turned positive I quit. Was it hard? Hell yes. Hardest thing ever. But I did it. Why? Because I wanted to give my child the best start to life possible. And my doctor told me that over 70% of babies who die from SIDS came from mother's who smoked while pregnant. My mother smoked while she was pregnant with me. Did it affect me? Who knows. I am little. I was little when I was born. I get bronchitis every year. But we didn't know then what we know now. Back then it was okay for tobacco companies to tell you smoking was good.....how far we have come.

Quitting smoking is hard......I know because I did it. It is an addiction...a tough one. But it has proven medically, scientifically over and over again that smoking can and WILL harm your baby. Sorry ladies.......it's a proven fact. Not quite comparable to deli meat....where the risk is listeriosis.......and very unlikely. Give your head a shake. My daughter is almost one and I haven't started again. It's still hard. I have days when I want a cigarette so bad......but I think of her and I don't.

Does it mean your a bad mother if you don't quit? Well no,,,,but if you don't even try...and I mean really try....then do I judge you? Yes I do. sorry.....your need to smoke does not outweigh or trump your unborn child's right to breathe. And if you think it does.....well......maybe you should rethink the parent thing.

Being a parent often involves making sacrifices and given that there is no medical need to smoke.....if you can't even sacrifice that for a mere nine months....well yes I am going to question your ability to parent. Sorry.

And the drinking? Really? Are we going to try and compare drinking to eating deli meats? Come on! One or two drinks a week sure but getting drunk well preggo.....is an obvious no no. I chose not to drink while I was pregnant.....but I wouldn't judge those who have a couple of drinks per week. Those who get drunk...well.....I have met children with fetal alcohol syndrome and I would definitely speak out if I knew a pregnant woman who was getting drunk. Would I judge her? Probably not.....everyone has their own issues and demons but I would do my damndest to protect that child in her belly and try and get her the help she needed.

 

[whit.]

So, you judge someone who smokes but not someone who drinks?

 

[LadyHutch]

I really hate this thread and wish it would die.

 

[kittycat18]

I think that consuming ANY alcohol while pregnant is a complete disgrace and I have avoided it at all costs. Though, my midwife did tell me that it is ok to consume 1-2 units of alcohol per week. In regards to cigarettes, I smoked before I got pregnant and found it hard giving up. I am now 23 weeks pregnant and since finding out I have had 6 cigarettes in total (which have made me sick anyway). My midwife told me not to exceed 5 cigarettes a week because it can be damaging to my LO. My baby is healthy and active but I still feel ridiculously guilty for having those 6 cigarettes in 23 weeks!!!!! xoxoxoxooxox

 

[melissasbump]

I have read this thread though.. I have never smoked and rarely drunk before i was pregnant and dont drink at all whilst i am pregnant.

Im not judging anyone here, everyone makes there own choices in life and my diet has been far from perfect during this pregnancy.

What mad me REALLY mad was when i was in the waiting room for my 21 week scan, there were another couple and the pregnant girls mother also in there.
A midwife who obviously knew them came and sat down next to them and started asking how she was getting on with giving up smoking to which the mother to be replied " im trying to cut down" I had no problem with this but then the FOB and mother piped up and were very vocal about how there loved smoking and had no intention whatsoever of giving up, the mother even said its her favourite thing in life and she'd rather give up sex than fags.
This made me so mad, i commend the mother to be for trying but when the people around her have this attitude then what choice does that baby have?
These peoples attitude made me so mad.. just wanted to share this...

 

[mummy202]

I just wanted to say im 25+3 weeks and im still smoking,since i found out i was pregnant i have cut down and gradually getting there.People might not understand but im proud of myself for cutting down,it is really really hard.
due 24th june and its a boy

 

[Kittee]

Bah. Good luck and nm.

 

[hopefulfor09]

So, you judge someone who smokes but not someone who drinks?

Actually, I wrote that I judge someone who does not even try to quit. My words exactly. Given that I was a smoker......I know how hard it can be to quit. Perhaps you should read the post before putting in your two cents - which actually served no purpose at all really....other than to stir the pot.

Cutting down is great....but not what really needs to be done is it? WOuld you blow smoke in your baby's face? Probably not. And smoking is comparable to doing that. Sorry it's the reality......and if your child is not worth really putting in an effort to quit or cut back drastically then perhaps you are not mature enough to have a child. Key word there being effort....trying.

 

[hopefulfor09]

Just popping over from first tri... this is just my opinion, but if one isn't ready to give up smoking and drinking then MAYBE one isn't ready to be a parent?

One of the most ridiculous things that I've read. Who are YOU to judge and say someone isn't ready to be a parent? Do you not realize that you could go by the book in your pregnancy and your baby have abnormalities and disabilities! I know you said it's your opinion, just because it is - does NOT give you the right to be judgmental or make comments about if someone is ready to be a parent!

I think you completely missed the point there. Are you a smoker and drinker?

Unfortunately, babies do have abnormalities and issues even when their mother doesn't smoke/drink while pregnant. However,,,,,it is a proven fact....that mothers who smoke and drink during pregnancy are much more likely to have babies with issues. I think the point the poster was trying to make is this....if you are not mature enough to put aside drinking and smoking for 9 months....are you really ready to make all of the other sacrifices a parent must make?

A fair question IMO. Have you ever met a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome? Do you honestly believe that your right to get drunk outweighs your unborn and innocent child's right to have a healthy environment in utero? Really. Are you serious?


Come on.. this isn't about being judgemental. this is about defending an innocent's child right to a good start at life. It's like saying...well people who don't smoke get cancer all the time....so I may as well smoke anyway....even though it will increase my chances by like 60%. Do you not see the problem with that logic? Never mind the fact that this isn't just about you......there's someone inside who doesn't have a choice.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Great post hopefulfor09 xxx