How do you deal?

[MrsKeene]

Well the finally showed up last night, but i am happy to get myself back into a normal cycle. But i have to admit something. I am so angry i can't start ttc right now. I've been struggling with waiting. My husband is right, we need to save the rest of the year. But yet everything in my mind says just do it, it will work out, because thats what happened with my first. Yet with my second i don't want to have the worry of how it will work out.

So my question is, how do you deal with waiting? My hubby had a long talk with me last night and told me just to perpare. So i am going to start charting, so by December i'll know my cycles well. Maybe collect hpts here and there the next couple of months. I am guilty of already buying pre-seed . I just wanted to here what you all are doing to deal with having to wait! Knowing im not the only one waiting does make me feel better! Thanks for the support!

 

[golcarlilly]

Hi

We really could do with saving too! I just think that age is not on my side (I am 39 next month) so am just going for it, it took me 6 months to get pg last time. I am going to use the time it takes to try and save a bit then I will have 9 more months before I have to worry!

I am scared silly thinking of ttc !!

 

[Sambatiki]

Hey MrsKeene,

Its not easy is it. Although at the moment its DF that wants to TTC now and me that wants to hold back abit. Im scared stiff about trying again after a MC in april.
One good thing you get to wait with some lovely ppl!!

 

[MrsKeene]

I have to agree, you all make it much better. Waiting until December does make it all the better, i am thrilled! I don't blame you for being worried! Come on Christmas, i keep telling myself that my big present is ttc!

 

[Sambatiki]

You'll have to make a list of all the things you can't do when you've got kids and do them all by Dec that'll keep you occupied. Then it'll fly by!!

 

[MrsKeene]

Well i've already got a 15 month old, but i could make a list of things to do with her, and than it would fly by! What a good idea!

 

[Sambatiki]

Sorry I didn't realise you had a littleun

There you go!!! Sounds like a plan... and Im sure littleun will be thrilled with spending quality time with you.

 

[MrsKeene]

Its fine! Does anything show up from my tickers? I can see stuff on my siggy but im not sure if its working

 

[Jewels]

Boy do I know the feeling. It is SO very difficult waiting when it's something you want so bad. My hubby is a tiny bit on the nervous side starting to TTC at the end of July as we still have a ton we'd like to get done around the house. He didn't act like it was too big of a deal though, because it will be my first month off BCPs, and who knows when we'll actually concieve.

The one thing that is bugging both of us is that our master bath is still pretty much original 1967, and is REALLY in need of an update. We're thinking we don't need to do a full renovation on it, but even to do a cleanup, we need to change the tub and tub surround, and once we do that, we're afraid we're going to find a bunch of water damage behind the walls and in the floorboards! We really don't have a bunch of money to spend as we just did an addition onto our house (we spent a lot more than I thought we would)- we converted a 1/4 bath into a full bath (so it's brand new) and extended the size of our laundry room. So we're still trying to pay that down! It's so frustrating - it's like there's never enough money.

I figure if we do get pregnant, then we'll still have 9 months to figure stuff out. It is tough though...

 

[MrsKeene]

I totally agree! Like i tell my husband, its so furstrating and annoying holding back due to money issues. Just got to get to the point where hubby doesn't freak out when i say "lets try this month". We've decided to stop using protection in december.

And i am the same with you, the baby will take 9 months to get here. I guess we've just got to finish this waiting game. And remembering that everything happens for a reason!

By the way congrats on starting soon, crossing my fingers for your BFP quickly!

 

[Jewels]

I totally agree! Like i tell my husband, its so furstrating and annoying holding back due to money issues. Just got to get to the point where hubby doesn't freak out when i say "lets try this month". We've decided to stop using protection in december.

And i am the same with you, the baby will take 9 months to get here. I guess we've just got to finish this waiting game. And remembering that everything happens for a reason!

By the way congrats on starting soon, crossing my fingers for your BFP quickly!

Thank you! It will be December before you know it! Time has just been flying! Good luck, and TONS of for you and your hubby in December!

 

[kaygeebee]

Boy do I know the feeling. It is SO very difficult waiting when it's something you want so bad. My hubby is a tiny bit on the nervous side starting to TTC at the end of July as we still have a ton we'd like to get done around the house. He didn't act like it was too big of a deal though, because it will be my first month off BCPs, and who knows when we'll actually concieve.

The one thing that is bugging both of us is that our master bath is still pretty much original 1967, and is REALLY in need of an update. We're thinking we don't need to do a full renovation on it, but even to do a cleanup, we need to change the tub and tub surround, and once we do that, we're afraid we're going to find a bunch of water damage behind the walls and in the floorboards! We really don't have a bunch of money to spend as we just did an addition onto our house (we spent a lot more than I thought we would)- we converted a 1/4 bath into a full bath (so it's brand new) and extended the size of our laundry room. So we're still trying to pay that down! It's so frustrating - it's like there's never enough money.

I figure if we do get pregnant, then we'll still have 9 months to figure stuff out. It is tough though...

Jewels, my situation is almost exactly the same. We agreed a few months back on July - but I can tell DH is still a little nervous about it, and we still have work to do around the house - including replaceing a 1960's bathroom!! My has shown up and so I really want to start this cycle - I will probably OV towards the end of the month anyway (35 day cycle) so I don't see the harm in trying from now.

I think about it constantly though I need to convince him that a month or so will make no difference in the long run!!!

 

[LeaArr]

I am having a really hard time trying to deal with waiting. I don't see the big difference between now and September. I guess if that's what he needs for some peace of mind, it's ok.

 

[Jemma]

I'm sure my opinion wont be very popular but... *deep breath* I actually dont think there is anything that wrong with getting pregnant 'accidently on purpose' IF you are married/with a partner you have been with for a while - who you know wants kids and who you want more than anything to be a father to your chilren.

I know many Men in their late 20's and 30's who desperatly want children - at some point - but are just too scared of at the prospect of actively 'trying' - so many of these men I know want to wait til they've saved some money/done a little bit more travelling/brought a house etc but as we all know there really is never going to be a 'right' time. It's different for men - they dont have the scary biological clock ticking.

Almost all men I know with children in their mid - late 30's say that they wished they had just had them a little earlier - for many many reason but mainly because having a child has brought more love and joy into their lives than they ever thought possible.

Dont get me wrong - women who purposfully get pregnant to try and 'trap' a man or very young women who arent really mature enough to know what they want - this is definatly not the right option.

Obviously this is not the ideal - but in my view if a long term couple aged say 35 are considering children and the man wants to wait a couple more years but the woman is longing for a baby now - I dont see any harm in 'accidently' falling pregant. It worked for my parents who are still together now!

Im not suggesting anyone of you do this - its just a personal opinion!

*awaits backlash!*

 

[LeaArr]

I'm sure my opinion wont be very popular but... *deep breath* I actually dont think there is anything that wrong with getting pregnant 'accidently on purpose' IF you are married/with a partner you have been with for a while - who you know wants kids and who you want more than anything to be a father to your chilren.

I know many Men in their late 20's and 30's who desperatly want children - at some point - but are just too scared of at the prospect of actively 'trying' - so many of these men I know want to wait til they've saved some money/done a little bit more travelling/brought a house etc but as we all know there really is never going to be a 'right' time. It's different for men - they dont have the scary biological clock ticking.

Almost all men I know with children in their mid - late 30's say that they wished they had just had them a little earlier - for many many reason but mainly because having a child has brought more love and joy into their lives than they ever thought possible.

Dont get me wrong - women who purposfully get pregnant to try and 'trap' a man or very young women who arent really mature enough to know what they want - this is definatly not the right option.

Obviously this is not the ideal - but in my view if a long term couple aged say 35 are considering children and the man wants to wait a couple more years but the woman is longing for a baby now - I dont see any harm in 'accidently' falling pregant. It worked for my parents who are still together now!

Im not suggesting anyone of you do this - its just a personal opinion!

*awaits backlash!*

I agree with you. As do a bunch of my close friends who were trying to convince me to do it. I just don't have the "guts" to do it. (I know guts isn't the right word, but I can't think of the right word right now.)]
I have heard of a few married women who have gotten pregnant accidentally on purpose, and it didn't hurt any relationships. I just can't do it myself though.

 

[MrsKeene]

I agree too. Its not my hubby's fear of childern. We already have an almost 15 month old daughter. In reality he wants at least 6. But he is worried of the cost of two, mainly the childcare costs. But it won't hurt us, just less money to spend. And thats at least 9 months away depending on how long it take to conceive. I think i'll try going at it not using protection, and if he stops and insits than we will. I am trying to look at it as God's will, if we get lucky and the sperm catches the egg before december it was meant to be! If not December 1st im burning every condom I find !!

 

[Jewels]

Jewels, my situation is almost exactly the same. We agreed a few months back on July - but I can tell DH is still a little nervous about it, and we still have work to do around the house - including replaceing a 1960's bathroom!! My has shown up and so I really want to start this cycle - I will probably OV towards the end of the month anyway (35 day cycle) so I don't see the harm in trying from now.

I think about it constantly though I need to convince him that a month or so will make no difference in the long run!!!

Hi Kay! I know it is so difficult! I wish we just had the money to do what we needed to do so we could go about our business! I would say go for it, and if it happens, it will happen. The rest will work itself out!

Good luck, lots of and I will be keeping an eye out for your

 

[LeaArr]

I agree too. Its not my hubby's fear of childern. We already have an almost 15 month old daughter. In reality he wants at least 6. But he is worried of the cost of two, mainly the childcare costs. But it won't hurt us, just less money to spend. And thats at least 9 months away depending on how long it take to conceive. I think i'll try going at it not using protection, and if he stops and insits than we will. I am trying to look at it as God's will, if we get lucky and the sperm catches the egg before december it was meant to be! If not December 1st im burning every condom I find !!

We will be having a condom bonfire.
Luckily for me, I have a boarder right now, so I figure instead of having the fire risk near my house, I will just put a dish of them in the bathroom.

 

[porkpie1981]

If u read any of my posts u will see that i agree. Im not long after a mc(planned preggnancy) but my oh didnt want to ttc again until 2 years (after i finish uni). We have a 2 year old also. We have now agreeded to ttc again september/october so that i can take a yr out of i get preggers. Since all this we have not been using protection , atho he says that we should be. I know he wants another child but just freaks out at it all. So im just going bd anyway and hopefully he doesnt make a fuss